I had to stop to get something to eat and came across something I had to make a comment about.
Sometimes, I just make myself laugh.
Many people might call me a loser. Even though I don't have many negative attributes, I just haven't been able to really get what I want out of life. This blog is a means of helping me figure out what things went wrong and how they went wrong, but will not offer any solutions on how I can fix my problems. There will be no epiphanies here. I am trying to take a light-hearted look at my life, despite the many dark areas.
Friday, July 22, 2016
Friday, July 15, 2016
How are you going to vote?
With the big election coming up in November, right now is a good time to examine the choices. This doesn't just apply to the Presidential race, but all elections in general, including ballot measures.
I have to admit that I am not a fan of California's Top 2 primary system. Since this typically cuts out any chance that a minor party candidate will get elected to a local or state office, I'm forced to vote my conscience. However, I will vote for Zoe Lofgren for Congress with no second thoughts.
I have to admit that I am not a fan of California's Top 2 primary system. Since this typically cuts out any chance that a minor party candidate will get elected to a local or state office, I'm forced to vote my conscience. However, I will vote for Zoe Lofgren for Congress with no second thoughts.
Friday, July 1, 2016
How I Wrote This Blog
Lately, my blog has been a source of pain for my family members. I want to use this post to address these issues.
One of my inspirations for this blog was the TV show "How I Met Your Mother." After my son was born, I thought about how I might be able to tell him about how I met his mother. (Of course, the show was still going at the time and I had no idea how it was going to end. Fortunately, this blog will not have a similar ending.) I wanted to include all the crazy, happy, sad, poignant and, at times, frustrating things that I experienced before he was born. And there has been a LOT of frustration.
I was also inspired by Cindy Lee Berryhill's "Beloved Stranger" blog, in which she detailed her experiences dealing with her husband Paul Williams, who suffered from dementia before he passed away in March of 2013. She started the blog in 2009 after she had checked him into a nursing home. Many of her stories were very painful, but tinged with a "Can you believe this happened?" sort of perspective. This is the tone I aim for in my blog.
Originally, the title of the blog was supposed to be "My Life as a Loser." But I found out that there were about three other blogs with that same title, so I had to come up with a variation. (The stupid thing was that those other losers had stopped blogging years earlier.) So, when I use the term "loser," I'm not talking in terms of someone who hit rock bottom because of alcohol, drugs, crime or anything else that can destroy your life. I'm a loser in that things almost never go my way despite being someone who doesn't drink, do drugs or commit crimes (although I did do some of the latter in my youth, but it was petty stuff, which I've already written about). It seems like anytime I score a win in my life, like a good job or a girlfriend, something out of my control usually comes along and takes that victory away. It happens to me ALL THE TIME! And it doesn't seem to happen that much to anyone else. I know other people would argue with that, but it's my perspective that things cannot go right for me, no matter how hard I try.
For the first 500 posts, I didn't worry much about what my family might think of the blog because I didn't tell them about it (except for my brother Loyd, who didn't really pay much attention to it at first). A few months ago, I decided to stop being a Facebook stranger to them and sent them all friend requests. At first, Mom thought someone had hacked into my account because she had sent me friend requests before and I always refused them. I didn't give much mind to the blog because I was well past the period of my childhood and the majority of the stories I'm writing now don't involve my parents that much.
I thought there was no way anyone would want to wade through all the old articles to see what I'd written before. Well, I was wrong. At first, Mom was supportive and assured me that I was not a loser after seeing the posts that I shared on Facebook. Then she sampled some of the older posts and saw that I had written rather critical articles about the way Mom and Dad had raised Loyd and me. And of course, that was one of the problems with the blog. I have no trouble writing about the bad things in my life, but it's difficult to write about the good things. I mean, the memories that bring me joy are there, but the emotions that drive me to write just are not as strong. And as I wrote above, if I have something that makes me happy, something invariably ruins it for me.
I understand Mom's perspective that I don't write enough good stuff about her and Dad. (By the way, Dad knows about the blog, but doesn't read it. He also disagrees that I'm a loser.) So, I want to correct that perceived oversight with this post. What follows is a list of what they have contributed to my life (some of which has been mentioned in previous blog posts, but I will not be providing those links here).
They made sure that there was always a roof over my head, food on the table and that I had clothes to wear.
They took care of me when I was sick.
They demonstrated how important it was to wake up early, eat breakfast and go to work on time.
If there was a toy or other item I wanted, they would give it to me for my birthday or Christmas.
When our bicycles were stolen, they took me and Loyd right out and bought us new bicycles.
They supported my artistic endeavors in theatre and music and bought me a piano and lessons when I was 13.
They bought me a motorcycle when I was 14.
They bought me a car when I was 15. (In fact, they bought me every car I owned until I was 34 years old. This means they spent more than 20 years providing me with motorized vehicles.)
When I had car problems, they would come to my aid.
In the aftermath of me getting arrested for shoplifting, they never threw that back in my face.
When I wanted to withdraw from the Physics class my senior year of high school, they supported my reasons for leaving (and I really wish I hadn't let the teacher talk me into staying).
They spent the first 18 years of my life saving for my college education. As a result, I wasn't burdened with a loan to pay off.
They helped me move into my first apartment after I graduated from college.
When I decided to quit my full time job at the radio station in Clovis, they helped set up things so I could move to Denver.
They didn't criticize me for working a series of low-paying jobs.
When they got a divorce, they assured me that they would still be there for me.
They tried hard to like my girlfriends and treated them well, even though it was apparent most were soul-sucking demons.
Anytime I needed money when I was unemployed (or employed), they would give me a lecture, but they would still send it to me.
When I needed a surgery for a hernia, Mom and her husband Dend paid for the operation and helped me recover.
They were so happy when I got married and my wife had a child.
When my family needed a larger place to live, Mom and Dend gave us the money to make a down-payment.
So, my parents did a lot for me. I always let them know how much I appreciated them when they did nice things. It may not be expressed in the blog on a daily basis, but I really owe everything I have to them and I love them very much.
As for the status of this blog, I'm still dealing with a lot of stuff at work. I won't be able to return to daily blogging yet, but when I do, everyone will know.
In the meantime, I'll still be sharing old articles. As usual, please enjoy the sillience.
One of my inspirations for this blog was the TV show "How I Met Your Mother." After my son was born, I thought about how I might be able to tell him about how I met his mother. (Of course, the show was still going at the time and I had no idea how it was going to end. Fortunately, this blog will not have a similar ending.) I wanted to include all the crazy, happy, sad, poignant and, at times, frustrating things that I experienced before he was born. And there has been a LOT of frustration.
I was also inspired by Cindy Lee Berryhill's "Beloved Stranger" blog, in which she detailed her experiences dealing with her husband Paul Williams, who suffered from dementia before he passed away in March of 2013. She started the blog in 2009 after she had checked him into a nursing home. Many of her stories were very painful, but tinged with a "Can you believe this happened?" sort of perspective. This is the tone I aim for in my blog.
Originally, the title of the blog was supposed to be "My Life as a Loser." But I found out that there were about three other blogs with that same title, so I had to come up with a variation. (The stupid thing was that those other losers had stopped blogging years earlier.) So, when I use the term "loser," I'm not talking in terms of someone who hit rock bottom because of alcohol, drugs, crime or anything else that can destroy your life. I'm a loser in that things almost never go my way despite being someone who doesn't drink, do drugs or commit crimes (although I did do some of the latter in my youth, but it was petty stuff, which I've already written about). It seems like anytime I score a win in my life, like a good job or a girlfriend, something out of my control usually comes along and takes that victory away. It happens to me ALL THE TIME! And it doesn't seem to happen that much to anyone else. I know other people would argue with that, but it's my perspective that things cannot go right for me, no matter how hard I try.
For the first 500 posts, I didn't worry much about what my family might think of the blog because I didn't tell them about it (except for my brother Loyd, who didn't really pay much attention to it at first). A few months ago, I decided to stop being a Facebook stranger to them and sent them all friend requests. At first, Mom thought someone had hacked into my account because she had sent me friend requests before and I always refused them. I didn't give much mind to the blog because I was well past the period of my childhood and the majority of the stories I'm writing now don't involve my parents that much.
I thought there was no way anyone would want to wade through all the old articles to see what I'd written before. Well, I was wrong. At first, Mom was supportive and assured me that I was not a loser after seeing the posts that I shared on Facebook. Then she sampled some of the older posts and saw that I had written rather critical articles about the way Mom and Dad had raised Loyd and me. And of course, that was one of the problems with the blog. I have no trouble writing about the bad things in my life, but it's difficult to write about the good things. I mean, the memories that bring me joy are there, but the emotions that drive me to write just are not as strong. And as I wrote above, if I have something that makes me happy, something invariably ruins it for me.
I understand Mom's perspective that I don't write enough good stuff about her and Dad. (By the way, Dad knows about the blog, but doesn't read it. He also disagrees that I'm a loser.) So, I want to correct that perceived oversight with this post. What follows is a list of what they have contributed to my life (some of which has been mentioned in previous blog posts, but I will not be providing those links here).
They made sure that there was always a roof over my head, food on the table and that I had clothes to wear.
They took care of me when I was sick.
They demonstrated how important it was to wake up early, eat breakfast and go to work on time.
If there was a toy or other item I wanted, they would give it to me for my birthday or Christmas.
When our bicycles were stolen, they took me and Loyd right out and bought us new bicycles.
They supported my artistic endeavors in theatre and music and bought me a piano and lessons when I was 13.
They bought me a motorcycle when I was 14.
They bought me a car when I was 15. (In fact, they bought me every car I owned until I was 34 years old. This means they spent more than 20 years providing me with motorized vehicles.)
When I had car problems, they would come to my aid.
In the aftermath of me getting arrested for shoplifting, they never threw that back in my face.
When I wanted to withdraw from the Physics class my senior year of high school, they supported my reasons for leaving (and I really wish I hadn't let the teacher talk me into staying).
They spent the first 18 years of my life saving for my college education. As a result, I wasn't burdened with a loan to pay off.
They helped me move into my first apartment after I graduated from college.
When I decided to quit my full time job at the radio station in Clovis, they helped set up things so I could move to Denver.
They didn't criticize me for working a series of low-paying jobs.
When they got a divorce, they assured me that they would still be there for me.
They tried hard to like my girlfriends and treated them well, even though it was apparent most were soul-sucking demons.
Anytime I needed money when I was unemployed (or employed), they would give me a lecture, but they would still send it to me.
When I needed a surgery for a hernia, Mom and her husband Dend paid for the operation and helped me recover.
They were so happy when I got married and my wife had a child.
When my family needed a larger place to live, Mom and Dend gave us the money to make a down-payment.
So, my parents did a lot for me. I always let them know how much I appreciated them when they did nice things. It may not be expressed in the blog on a daily basis, but I really owe everything I have to them and I love them very much.
As for the status of this blog, I'm still dealing with a lot of stuff at work. I won't be able to return to daily blogging yet, but when I do, everyone will know.
In the meantime, I'll still be sharing old articles. As usual, please enjoy the sillience.