When I was first hired at Walmart, I was asked to attend a new employee orientation session at the store. It was going to last a couple of hours. At that time, I would be given my work schedule for the next couple of weeks. I was instructed to bring my ID and my Social Security card.
I arrived and found there were about six people in the HR office. One of them I remembered seeing at the clinic where we did our drug tests. We were given several forms to fill out. Afterward, we watched a few company-produced videos. One extolled the virtues of choosing a career at Walmart. One of the things it stated was that the company would often implement employee ideas. As an example, they talked about the Door Greeter position. That started as an idea from a regular employee around 1973 and was spread out into every Walmart store. Me being the cynic, I noticed that they didn't give any more examples of employee ideas that have been utilized. If we went strictly by the video, it would appear that Walmart hadn't used any employee ideas in almost 30 years at that point.
The video also showed employees in various functions at stores across the country. It showed them in store meetings clapping and doing the Walmart "cheer." It also showed a large group at an employee convention. Everyone seemed so excited about working at Walmart. I knew I was never going to be that excited.
Another video downplayed the company's anti-union stance. The video claimed that "We are not anti-union. We are pro-associate." But it went out of its way to demonstrate that unions were less than reputable organizations and their only interest was in collecting dues from the thousands of people who worked for Walmart across the country. The message was to tell anyone who appeared to be from a union to go away and that we didn't need them. It didn't matter to me how Walmart portrayed unions. I'd never been in one, and any job I applied for that had a union showed no interest in hiring me. From my perspective, having a union wasn't going to help me at this juncture.
(And I should make it clear that I am not anti-union. It's really just something I don't feel would help me in the long run with regards to work.)
We spent the rest of the time filling out paperwork and agreeing to terms of employment. We each had to go to a computer, log in and read the conditions. We then chose the "Agree" option and the next person would go to the computer and do the same thing. After everyone cycled through this, the Store Manager came in. He appeared to be just a few years older than me, but he seemed to have a positive outlook on working for Walmart and was rather friendly and charming. I actually felt a little better just after he spoke to us. I got the idea he was able to sweet-talk his way past any customer complaint. He appeared to be friendly and approachable, unlike some other bosses I've had in the past.
We were all then given vests and told when to show up for our on-the-job training. My short period of unemployment was coming to an end. I almost hated to see that happen.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
Job #19: Walmart-San Diego Era (2001 - 2003)
Yep. This is where I wound up working. I never expected this. And what I really didn't see coming was that I would work for Walmart for more than four years. (I spent my last two years at Walmart after transferring to another city in California. That will become Job #20.) This was just supposed to be a seasonal job and I had been planning to collect Unemployment after January 2002. However, I knew continuous employment would pay me better in the long run.
I hadn't planned on applying, but I figured I stood a better chance of getting a temporary position there than just about anywhere else. Walmart had recently gotten the reputation of being one of the most successful companies in the country and was on the cusp of becoming so very hated. But none of that mattered to me. I just needed to work someplace that would hire me.
I went to the location in Kearny Mesa (which wasn't too far from where I used to work at Aradiant). I went to the customer service desk and asked where I needed to go to apply for a job. They directed me to the back of the store, where the Layaway department was. There were several people there filling out applications. A lot of people had the same idea I did. I filled out the application and also took the criminal attitude test (similar to the molester test at Toys R Us). After I had finished, a woman asked me to come back to the employee break room to talk with her. She asked about my past experience in retail. I told her about working at Kmart before. She then asked me which department I was interested in. I said, "Electronics." All of a sudden, she got up and said she'd be right back. A couple of employees at the next table (whom I found out later were department managers) snickered and told me I was speaking to the Electronics Department Manager. However, they said she'd be right back.
I sat there waiting for about 30 minutes. Finally, another woman asked me to come with her to an office and she would talk to me. She didn't explain what happened to the Electronics Manager. We talked for a little bit. I said that I was interested in a seasonal position. She asked me if I would be interested in working the Christmas tree lot. I said sure. That REALLY sounded temporary. I envisioned myself cutting Christmas trees and loading him onto people's cars. For some reason, images of shivering outside in a snowy lot eight hours a day popped into my head (even though this was San Diego). At the very least, it wasn't going to be a job I was going to have to think very hard about. Maybe that's what I needed right about now.
She said I would likely be called back for another interview, and if they decided to hire me, I would have to submit to a drug test. I had an objection to drug tests, but I had a bigger objection to not having a job, so I knew I was going to have to do it.
A couple of days later, I got called in for the second interview. They referred to it as a "Post-Orion" interview. Orion was that test I took. The man who interviewed me had me justify some of my responses to that test. I mostly based it off my previous experience as a supervisor. He then had me go talk to another woman. She asked me what position I had been offered. I said the tree lot. She asked me how I felt about being a cashier. It would pay 25 cents an hour more. Even though I had hoped for a job that I wouldn't have to think hard about, I figured I should try to make as much money as possible during the short term I expected to be there. I said, "Sure, I can do that." She then gave me some paperwork with the directions to the clinic where I needed to do the drug test. When I arrived, I saw some of the other people who had previously been waiting for interviews there to do their tests. I didn't talk to any of them. I just waited for my turn.
Even though I knew I was going to pass the test, I was still wary that something would go wrong to produce a false positive. However, it wasn't going to be the end of the world if I didn't get hired there. I would continue to look for a job and I still had some money left over from the severance package to last me through the end of the year.
A couple of days later, someone from Walmart called me to officially offer me a job as a cashier. They gave me a date and time to show up for orientation. I was in!
My experience at Walmart was unlike any job I'd had up to that point in time. So I can't possibly summarize it all in one article. What will follow in the next few weeks will be a series of essays about my observations of working with such a successful company that has been subjected to so much hatred. It wasn't the best job I ever had, but it was far from the worst.
I hadn't planned on applying, but I figured I stood a better chance of getting a temporary position there than just about anywhere else. Walmart had recently gotten the reputation of being one of the most successful companies in the country and was on the cusp of becoming so very hated. But none of that mattered to me. I just needed to work someplace that would hire me.
I went to the location in Kearny Mesa (which wasn't too far from where I used to work at Aradiant). I went to the customer service desk and asked where I needed to go to apply for a job. They directed me to the back of the store, where the Layaway department was. There were several people there filling out applications. A lot of people had the same idea I did. I filled out the application and also took the criminal attitude test (similar to the molester test at Toys R Us). After I had finished, a woman asked me to come back to the employee break room to talk with her. She asked about my past experience in retail. I told her about working at Kmart before. She then asked me which department I was interested in. I said, "Electronics." All of a sudden, she got up and said she'd be right back. A couple of employees at the next table (whom I found out later were department managers) snickered and told me I was speaking to the Electronics Department Manager. However, they said she'd be right back.
I sat there waiting for about 30 minutes. Finally, another woman asked me to come with her to an office and she would talk to me. She didn't explain what happened to the Electronics Manager. We talked for a little bit. I said that I was interested in a seasonal position. She asked me if I would be interested in working the Christmas tree lot. I said sure. That REALLY sounded temporary. I envisioned myself cutting Christmas trees and loading him onto people's cars. For some reason, images of shivering outside in a snowy lot eight hours a day popped into my head (even though this was San Diego). At the very least, it wasn't going to be a job I was going to have to think very hard about. Maybe that's what I needed right about now.
She said I would likely be called back for another interview, and if they decided to hire me, I would have to submit to a drug test. I had an objection to drug tests, but I had a bigger objection to not having a job, so I knew I was going to have to do it.
A couple of days later, I got called in for the second interview. They referred to it as a "Post-Orion" interview. Orion was that test I took. The man who interviewed me had me justify some of my responses to that test. I mostly based it off my previous experience as a supervisor. He then had me go talk to another woman. She asked me what position I had been offered. I said the tree lot. She asked me how I felt about being a cashier. It would pay 25 cents an hour more. Even though I had hoped for a job that I wouldn't have to think hard about, I figured I should try to make as much money as possible during the short term I expected to be there. I said, "Sure, I can do that." She then gave me some paperwork with the directions to the clinic where I needed to do the drug test. When I arrived, I saw some of the other people who had previously been waiting for interviews there to do their tests. I didn't talk to any of them. I just waited for my turn.
Even though I knew I was going to pass the test, I was still wary that something would go wrong to produce a false positive. However, it wasn't going to be the end of the world if I didn't get hired there. I would continue to look for a job and I still had some money left over from the severance package to last me through the end of the year.
A couple of days later, someone from Walmart called me to officially offer me a job as a cashier. They gave me a date and time to show up for orientation. I was in!
My experience at Walmart was unlike any job I'd had up to that point in time. So I can't possibly summarize it all in one article. What will follow in the next few weeks will be a series of essays about my observations of working with such a successful company that has been subjected to so much hatred. It wasn't the best job I ever had, but it was far from the worst.
Monday, January 7, 2019
Job Hunting in the Age of the Internet
After getting laid off from Aradiant, I found myself in a position I hadn't been in for more than eight years: Having to find a job from scratch. A lot had changed since the last time I was unemployed. The Internet was now available for assisting me in my job search. I was optimistic that I would be able to find a position with comparable pay in very little time.
One of the things recommended to me was to post my resume on Monster.com. In addition to there being a number of job listings, companies could see my resume and contact me to come in to interview for a position I may be qualified for. The day after I uploaded my resume, I received an e-mail from a company called Primerica to consider applying for them. I didn't really know much about the company, but they featured the umbrella logo that was used by the Travelers Group. I'd heard of them and figured this was a reputable company.
I visited their website and viewed the job description. They were looking for people to become financial planners and sell life insurance policies. It appeared that employees would be sent to the homes of people who contacted Primerica for financial solutions. They would do some kind of analysis on their earnings, and if there was enough funding left over, the employees would try to talk the clients into purchasing life insurance or some other product. I didn't want to do this. I then looked at the fine print of the job description. It said that employees would be required to pay $200 to go through some kind of insurance licensing and certification. I definitely knew that I didn't want to do this.
However, I saw this as an opportunity to brush up on my interviewing skills. I called them up. The person I talked to asked if I had seen everything about the requirements for the position online. I assumed he meant the part that I would have to shell out money in order to work there. I said I had. We arranged a date and time for an interview.
I dressed up like I meant it. I went down to the office. I could see they had a room set up for a presentation for about 20 people. However, I was the only one there. I wasn't sure if they were going to do an interview or a full presentation with a lot of other people. A man came out and asked me to come into the office. I went in and the interview started. It was a standard interview. I don't remember anything special about it. I know I wasn't trying too hard to impress him, but I did my best to answer his questions to his satisfaction. He told me that if they were interested, they would call me back.
A couple of days later, he called me back to see if I wanted to come and take part in a seminar they were offering. This seemed to be what the presentation room was for. I didn't want to waste any more of their time, so I told him I wasn't interested.
(A few months later, at a job I did wind up at, I assisted a customer. Immediately afterward, she gave me her business card and she said she could offer me a free financial planning session. It was a Primerica card. I knew what was up with that. It even looked like they had trouble getting leads, so the employees were required to hit the streets to drum up business.)
In addition to the interview, I attempted to apply for a lot of jobs that were listed on the website. There were many positions that I appeared to be qualified for and it was very convenient to apply for them, but no one ever called me up for an interview. I came to the conclusion that every job that got posted probably got THOUSANDS of applications, even from people far away from the locations of the jobs. They probably just looked at the first 50 - 100 applications that came in and pooled their interviews from those. The others just weren't looked at. (And keep in mind that there were a lot of people who lost their jobs in the aftermath of 9/11. There was A LOT of competition.) I would imagine you had to get your application in SECONDS after a job was posted in order to be considered.
Under these circumstances, I came to the realization that I was not going to find a job through the Internet. I was going to have to apply in person if I wanted to get a job. Since I really just needed something to get me through the end of the year so I could attempt to get Unemployment benefits in January of 2002, I decided to apply at retail establishments.
I started at Kmart. There was one just a couple of miles from my house and was within decent walking distance in the event that my car broke down. Since I had worked for Kmart before in Artesia, I thought there was a strong possibility they would hire me for seasonal work. But they never called me back, even though the application asked if I'd ever worked for Kmart and I clearly stated I had.
Next, I went to Toys R Us. It wasn't that far away from my house, but I would definitely have to use some form of transportation to get there. I applied and took their test that tried to figure out if I was a child molester. I was called back for an interview a few days later. The person who interviewed me said he liked that I'd had inventory experience because that meant I could help with their audit prep, which would allow me to continue working there a little past the Christmas shopping season.
But I had to do a little role play. He asked me to go out onto the floor for about 15 minutes, pick a toy and then try to sell him the toy. I didn't like where this was heading. I looked around and found a Harry Potter toy. (The first movie was about to come out.) It featured Harry riding a broom and trying to catch a Snitch. I figured I could talk about the excitement surrounding the movie as a pitch for the toy.
The age range for the toy was 11 - 15. When the role play started, I asked the interview if his child was a fan of Harry Potter. He said yes. I then asked how old the child was. "10." "D'oh!" (Yes, I actually said that out loud.) Because this was the toy I chose, I had to stick with it. I asked if maybe the child might be considered a little advanced for his age. He said yes, and I continued my pitch. I flashed back to my roleplaying in the high school DECA competition after he didn't give me a definite "yes" to buying the toy. He said he'd call me if they wanted me to work for them. I never did get that call.
However, I did get hired at the next place I applied. I'll go more into detail about that tomorrow.
One of the things recommended to me was to post my resume on Monster.com. In addition to there being a number of job listings, companies could see my resume and contact me to come in to interview for a position I may be qualified for. The day after I uploaded my resume, I received an e-mail from a company called Primerica to consider applying for them. I didn't really know much about the company, but they featured the umbrella logo that was used by the Travelers Group. I'd heard of them and figured this was a reputable company.
I visited their website and viewed the job description. They were looking for people to become financial planners and sell life insurance policies. It appeared that employees would be sent to the homes of people who contacted Primerica for financial solutions. They would do some kind of analysis on their earnings, and if there was enough funding left over, the employees would try to talk the clients into purchasing life insurance or some other product. I didn't want to do this. I then looked at the fine print of the job description. It said that employees would be required to pay $200 to go through some kind of insurance licensing and certification. I definitely knew that I didn't want to do this.
However, I saw this as an opportunity to brush up on my interviewing skills. I called them up. The person I talked to asked if I had seen everything about the requirements for the position online. I assumed he meant the part that I would have to shell out money in order to work there. I said I had. We arranged a date and time for an interview.
I dressed up like I meant it. I went down to the office. I could see they had a room set up for a presentation for about 20 people. However, I was the only one there. I wasn't sure if they were going to do an interview or a full presentation with a lot of other people. A man came out and asked me to come into the office. I went in and the interview started. It was a standard interview. I don't remember anything special about it. I know I wasn't trying too hard to impress him, but I did my best to answer his questions to his satisfaction. He told me that if they were interested, they would call me back.
A couple of days later, he called me back to see if I wanted to come and take part in a seminar they were offering. This seemed to be what the presentation room was for. I didn't want to waste any more of their time, so I told him I wasn't interested.
(A few months later, at a job I did wind up at, I assisted a customer. Immediately afterward, she gave me her business card and she said she could offer me a free financial planning session. It was a Primerica card. I knew what was up with that. It even looked like they had trouble getting leads, so the employees were required to hit the streets to drum up business.)
In addition to the interview, I attempted to apply for a lot of jobs that were listed on the website. There were many positions that I appeared to be qualified for and it was very convenient to apply for them, but no one ever called me up for an interview. I came to the conclusion that every job that got posted probably got THOUSANDS of applications, even from people far away from the locations of the jobs. They probably just looked at the first 50 - 100 applications that came in and pooled their interviews from those. The others just weren't looked at. (And keep in mind that there were a lot of people who lost their jobs in the aftermath of 9/11. There was A LOT of competition.) I would imagine you had to get your application in SECONDS after a job was posted in order to be considered.
Under these circumstances, I came to the realization that I was not going to find a job through the Internet. I was going to have to apply in person if I wanted to get a job. Since I really just needed something to get me through the end of the year so I could attempt to get Unemployment benefits in January of 2002, I decided to apply at retail establishments.
I started at Kmart. There was one just a couple of miles from my house and was within decent walking distance in the event that my car broke down. Since I had worked for Kmart before in Artesia, I thought there was a strong possibility they would hire me for seasonal work. But they never called me back, even though the application asked if I'd ever worked for Kmart and I clearly stated I had.
Next, I went to Toys R Us. It wasn't that far away from my house, but I would definitely have to use some form of transportation to get there. I applied and took their test that tried to figure out if I was a child molester. I was called back for an interview a few days later. The person who interviewed me said he liked that I'd had inventory experience because that meant I could help with their audit prep, which would allow me to continue working there a little past the Christmas shopping season.
But I had to do a little role play. He asked me to go out onto the floor for about 15 minutes, pick a toy and then try to sell him the toy. I didn't like where this was heading. I looked around and found a Harry Potter toy. (The first movie was about to come out.) It featured Harry riding a broom and trying to catch a Snitch. I figured I could talk about the excitement surrounding the movie as a pitch for the toy.
The age range for the toy was 11 - 15. When the role play started, I asked the interview if his child was a fan of Harry Potter. He said yes. I then asked how old the child was. "10." "D'oh!" (Yes, I actually said that out loud.) Because this was the toy I chose, I had to stick with it. I asked if maybe the child might be considered a little advanced for his age. He said yes, and I continued my pitch. I flashed back to my roleplaying in the high school DECA competition after he didn't give me a definite "yes" to buying the toy. He said he'd call me if they wanted me to work for them. I never did get that call.
However, I did get hired at the next place I applied. I'll go more into detail about that tomorrow.
Friday, January 4, 2019
Internet Tease #3: Argz
In another effort to find a girlfriend on AOL, I took another dip in the "Big & Beautiful" pool. I came across Argz, who lived in the Los Angeles area. She was 28 years old and Hispanic. She had 13 brothers and sisters. She was still living at home.
(I should point out that even though I was trying to meet an Asian woman on-line, I wasn't having much luck in that department. All of the chat rooms that featured Asian women wanting to meet white men proved to be filled with women who had no interest in IM'ing or even making any effort to get to know any men outside of what was getting posted in the chats. AND since Asian women don't tend to be very overweight, finding them in the Big & Beautiful rooms was nigh impossible!)
Argz was also pregnant. The man who was the father wasn't interested in making a commitment to her. She still communicated with him, but he didn't appear to want to be a permanent part of her life.
We continued to chat and e-mail each other. I sent her my picture and she sent me hers. She was overweight, but she was still rather attractive. I got brave with her and asked her if she wanted to talk on the phone. She agreed and gave me her number. I called her and we had a nice conversation. Toward the end, she told me that she really liked my voice. She was afraid I was going to sound kinda of "wimpy," but she was impressed with the way I talked.
She had a baby girl that weighed eight pounds. It was a rough delivery as they had to induce labor. She said shortly after she and the baby were taken to their hospital room, the father came by to see them at the hospital. They talked about having them move in with him. However, she didn't think it was going to happen because they were both hard-headed. Also, he wanted them to move out to Oxnard, which she thought was too far away. She sent me a couple of photos of the newborn.
We talked on the phone a couple more times and we decided to meet. The plan was that I would drive up to her house and just hang out with her and the baby there. It was a Sunday morning. Right before I was ready to leave, she called me and said that the baby had been up all night and she wasn't in a good mood for me to come up. I was disappointed, but knew I couldn't force the issue. I figured we'd find another day that we could meet.
A few weeks later, I called her. She said that she and the father decided to move in together, so it wasn't a good idea for us to talk to each other anymore. Yeah, I wasn't going to get in the way of that. We said our goodbyes and that was it.
I don't remember her last name, so I don't know where she's at now. But that baby girl is 17 years old now.
(I should point out that even though I was trying to meet an Asian woman on-line, I wasn't having much luck in that department. All of the chat rooms that featured Asian women wanting to meet white men proved to be filled with women who had no interest in IM'ing or even making any effort to get to know any men outside of what was getting posted in the chats. AND since Asian women don't tend to be very overweight, finding them in the Big & Beautiful rooms was nigh impossible!)
Argz was also pregnant. The man who was the father wasn't interested in making a commitment to her. She still communicated with him, but he didn't appear to want to be a permanent part of her life.
We continued to chat and e-mail each other. I sent her my picture and she sent me hers. She was overweight, but she was still rather attractive. I got brave with her and asked her if she wanted to talk on the phone. She agreed and gave me her number. I called her and we had a nice conversation. Toward the end, she told me that she really liked my voice. She was afraid I was going to sound kinda of "wimpy," but she was impressed with the way I talked.
She had a baby girl that weighed eight pounds. It was a rough delivery as they had to induce labor. She said shortly after she and the baby were taken to their hospital room, the father came by to see them at the hospital. They talked about having them move in with him. However, she didn't think it was going to happen because they were both hard-headed. Also, he wanted them to move out to Oxnard, which she thought was too far away. She sent me a couple of photos of the newborn.
We talked on the phone a couple more times and we decided to meet. The plan was that I would drive up to her house and just hang out with her and the baby there. It was a Sunday morning. Right before I was ready to leave, she called me and said that the baby had been up all night and she wasn't in a good mood for me to come up. I was disappointed, but knew I couldn't force the issue. I figured we'd find another day that we could meet.
A few weeks later, I called her. She said that she and the father decided to move in together, so it wasn't a good idea for us to talk to each other anymore. Yeah, I wasn't going to get in the way of that. We said our goodbyes and that was it.
I don't remember her last name, so I don't know where she's at now. But that baby girl is 17 years old now.
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Internet Tease #2: Norz
After being romantically involved with a woman who weighed more than 300 pounds, I knew I no longer found overweight women unattractive. In my efforts to try to meet women on the Internet, I decided to specifically seek out overweight women because I knew I had a better chance with them. (Even though my overall experience with Jolz was not all that positive.)
I went into an AOL chat room called "Big & Beautiful." I found a woman who had the word "Smart" in her username. I asked her if she was really smart. She said she had a Ph.D. Yep, I'd call that smart.
Her name was Norz and she worked at the University of Washington in Seattle. This was where she got her Ph.D. in Political Science. She had recently achieved that degree and was working as an Academic Counselor. She also taught some classes. I was afraid she was going to think she was too smart for me, but she continued chatting.
She was 32 years old and Hispanic. She lived by herself. She grew up in Bakersfield and her father still lived there on a farm. She described herself as a Christian. She shared a photograph with me. She looked cute, but it featured her with a child who had been partially cropped out of the photo. She said that if she shared the photo with a guy she didn't really like, she would say that was one of her five children.
We had many wonderful IM chats on AOL. One night, I had started watching the pilot episode of "Alias." I went over to the computer to see if anything was happening on AOL. Norz was on, so we started chatting. I still "Alias" on in the background and at one point, I could hear a song by Peter Gabriel. All of a sudden, Norz asked if I liked Peter Gabriel. I wrote, "You must be watching 'Alias.'" I thought that was interesting.
A little later on, I wrote that I was about to go on a vacation in a few weeks. I was going to go to Phoenix to see my Mom, to Artesia to see my Dad, then to Denver to catch up with my old friends. She wrote, "You mean I won't get to chat with you then?" Suddenly, I realized that she probably really liked me. I had to ask, "Do you want to talk on the phone?" She said, "Sure!" I gave her my phone number and she called me.
I was surprised by the soft sound of her voice coming through the phone. It was very soothing to listen to. She told me that she was frequently complimented on her voice and that a few guys had asked her out without know what she looked like. But they were disappointed when they met her face to face.
Late one night, my phone rang. She just wanted to talk to me. I thought this was cool. I was usually the one who had to reach out to the woman. This was a pleasant turnaround. I was beginning to think this was going to lead somewhere.
About a week before my vacation, I had a proposition. I told her that I hadn't told anybody in Denver yet that I was coming out there. I thought I could come up to Seattle instead to meet her. She said she would have to think about it. The next day, she told me she wasn't ready to meet now, but she would let me know when she was. I accepted that and continued with my plans.
I drove to Phoenix and spent time with Mom and Dend. At one point, I left so I could call Norz. We talked for about an hour. I also called her from Dad's house when I went to see him and Gred. We really seemed to enjoy our time on the phone and online. At the time, she thought we was going to come to Bakersfield for Thanksgiving and there was a chance we would be able to meet then. However, her father and brother decided to come up to Seattle to see her instead, so that didn't happen.
And then I lost my job. When I told Norz about it, I suggested again that this was a good time for me to try to come meet her in Seattle, since I had a good sum of money from my severance package. Again, she declined. I was really starting to get irritated.
But it all came down at Thanksgiving. She didn't call, e-mail or connect with me on AOL once. I shot off a e-mail that indicated I was rather disappointed that she was ignoring me. I felt like she was doing that because she didn't want her family to know anything about me because I didn't have a job and it would appear like I was trying to leech off of her.
She finally e-mailed me back and told me her father had to be taken to the hospital while he was in Seattle. He recovered, but she didn't have any time to communicate to me. I felt stupid for that. She decided she didn't want to pursue any kind of a relationship with me and shut me out. I felt even more stupid.
I tried to chat with her online a couple of times after that, but she always cut it off short. It was definitely over. I was very heartbroken over this. The bad part was that I had become rather fond of talking to someone with a similar level of intellect and knew it was going to be hard to find someone else who could do that AND like me.
I managed to keep track of her. About a year later, she became an Assistant Professor a CSU-Chico. We were both living in the same state for about four years. Then, she moved back to UW and worked her way up through the administration there. She appears to still be there, but I haven't found any updates for the last couple of years. These were easy to find because she posted her resume online in 2015. I also found some photos. She still looks about the same as when she shared photos of herself. It doesn't look like she ever got married or had kids.
But that's not my fault.
I went into an AOL chat room called "Big & Beautiful." I found a woman who had the word "Smart" in her username. I asked her if she was really smart. She said she had a Ph.D. Yep, I'd call that smart.
Her name was Norz and she worked at the University of Washington in Seattle. This was where she got her Ph.D. in Political Science. She had recently achieved that degree and was working as an Academic Counselor. She also taught some classes. I was afraid she was going to think she was too smart for me, but she continued chatting.
She was 32 years old and Hispanic. She lived by herself. She grew up in Bakersfield and her father still lived there on a farm. She described herself as a Christian. She shared a photograph with me. She looked cute, but it featured her with a child who had been partially cropped out of the photo. She said that if she shared the photo with a guy she didn't really like, she would say that was one of her five children.
We had many wonderful IM chats on AOL. One night, I had started watching the pilot episode of "Alias." I went over to the computer to see if anything was happening on AOL. Norz was on, so we started chatting. I still "Alias" on in the background and at one point, I could hear a song by Peter Gabriel. All of a sudden, Norz asked if I liked Peter Gabriel. I wrote, "You must be watching 'Alias.'" I thought that was interesting.
A little later on, I wrote that I was about to go on a vacation in a few weeks. I was going to go to Phoenix to see my Mom, to Artesia to see my Dad, then to Denver to catch up with my old friends. She wrote, "You mean I won't get to chat with you then?" Suddenly, I realized that she probably really liked me. I had to ask, "Do you want to talk on the phone?" She said, "Sure!" I gave her my phone number and she called me.
I was surprised by the soft sound of her voice coming through the phone. It was very soothing to listen to. She told me that she was frequently complimented on her voice and that a few guys had asked her out without know what she looked like. But they were disappointed when they met her face to face.
Late one night, my phone rang. She just wanted to talk to me. I thought this was cool. I was usually the one who had to reach out to the woman. This was a pleasant turnaround. I was beginning to think this was going to lead somewhere.
About a week before my vacation, I had a proposition. I told her that I hadn't told anybody in Denver yet that I was coming out there. I thought I could come up to Seattle instead to meet her. She said she would have to think about it. The next day, she told me she wasn't ready to meet now, but she would let me know when she was. I accepted that and continued with my plans.
I drove to Phoenix and spent time with Mom and Dend. At one point, I left so I could call Norz. We talked for about an hour. I also called her from Dad's house when I went to see him and Gred. We really seemed to enjoy our time on the phone and online. At the time, she thought we was going to come to Bakersfield for Thanksgiving and there was a chance we would be able to meet then. However, her father and brother decided to come up to Seattle to see her instead, so that didn't happen.
And then I lost my job. When I told Norz about it, I suggested again that this was a good time for me to try to come meet her in Seattle, since I had a good sum of money from my severance package. Again, she declined. I was really starting to get irritated.
But it all came down at Thanksgiving. She didn't call, e-mail or connect with me on AOL once. I shot off a e-mail that indicated I was rather disappointed that she was ignoring me. I felt like she was doing that because she didn't want her family to know anything about me because I didn't have a job and it would appear like I was trying to leech off of her.
She finally e-mailed me back and told me her father had to be taken to the hospital while he was in Seattle. He recovered, but she didn't have any time to communicate to me. I felt stupid for that. She decided she didn't want to pursue any kind of a relationship with me and shut me out. I felt even more stupid.
I tried to chat with her online a couple of times after that, but she always cut it off short. It was definitely over. I was very heartbroken over this. The bad part was that I had become rather fond of talking to someone with a similar level of intellect and knew it was going to be hard to find someone else who could do that AND like me.
I managed to keep track of her. About a year later, she became an Assistant Professor a CSU-Chico. We were both living in the same state for about four years. Then, she moved back to UW and worked her way up through the administration there. She appears to still be there, but I haven't found any updates for the last couple of years. These were easy to find because she posted her resume online in 2015. I also found some photos. She still looks about the same as when she shared photos of herself. It doesn't look like she ever got married or had kids.
But that's not my fault.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Internet Tease #1: Jarz
After I was able to connect to the Internet toward the end of 2000, I decided to use it for its intended purpose: Meeting women.
Or, that was the plan anyway. As it turned out, I didn't get to meet many women over the Internet. My batting average was far worse than when I was doing personal ads. Up to this point, I'd heard all kinds of stories about people meeting each other on the Internet. And sometimes, they left their spouses for what were supposed to be temporary flings. I didn't want to break up a marriage, but it sounded a lot easier than it turned out to be.
The biggest problem was locating women who lived nearby me. I was up to meeting women who lived in Southern California and willing to drive up about three hours, but even those opportunities were few and far between. I couldn't catch a break.
I had no intention of getting on a plane to meet someone halfway across the country because I certainly didn't have enough money for that. I barely had enough money to afford a trip in which I could fly out to Missouri to see my Mom and Loyd earlier in 2001. I couldn't imagine a situation in which I was willing to shell out money for an uncertain meeting with someone I barely knew in a place I wasn't familiar with.
Jarz was one of the first women I IM'd on AOL. We were in some chat room together and I looked at her profile. She was 28 years old and was a single mother. She lived in Michigan. What I really remember is that she had an amazing profile photo. (I wasn't brave enough to put my photo on my profile.) She was one of the few people I would describe as "sassy." She was very attractive, but I didn't feel like she was out of my league. We started chatting with each other.
One thing I should point out about my AOL experience is my chat method. I was very hard-wired to type correct grammar, punctuation and capitalization. I knew I was a pretty fast typist and didn't view having full sentences as an obstruction to trying to get a message across. About 30 minutes into our chat, she mentioned that she was trying hard to correctly type everything. I looked back at the beginning of our chat and saw that she started out with all lowercase letters and no punctuation, but that had changed midway through. I wrote, "Oh, you're trying to impress me!"
After that, we would occasionally find each other online and chat. After awhile, I got brave and asked if we could talk on the phone. She said we could, but she wouldn't give me her home number. I would have to call her at her job at a particular time of day. She worked at a Big Lots! I'd never heard of it before. But I did call her up. We talked for a few minutes before she had to start work.
She told me about how she had met someone else on AOL a year earlier and they arranged to fly do a destination in the middle to meet. But she didn't go into detail about what happened after that. I imagine it just didn't work out. I already knew I wasn't going to go that far to meet her, but it was nice to connect over the phone.
Once I went to a street fair in North Park and hung out with Tez and a couple of other guys. She needed to buy something, so we went inside a Pic 'n' Save store. (I always thought it sounded like something you weren't supposed to do with your nose.) Inside, I noticed that their bags said "Pic 'n' Save/Big Lots!" NOW I GET IT! They were both part of the same chain.
I talked to her at work a couple more times. Then, she told me she'd met someone and I didn't need to call her any more, so I never did. I never knew Jarz' last name, so I have no way of finding out what happened to her.
But I was fine with not talking to her anymore. As you'll find out, I had a couple of other women online I was making efforts to meet.
Or, that was the plan anyway. As it turned out, I didn't get to meet many women over the Internet. My batting average was far worse than when I was doing personal ads. Up to this point, I'd heard all kinds of stories about people meeting each other on the Internet. And sometimes, they left their spouses for what were supposed to be temporary flings. I didn't want to break up a marriage, but it sounded a lot easier than it turned out to be.
The biggest problem was locating women who lived nearby me. I was up to meeting women who lived in Southern California and willing to drive up about three hours, but even those opportunities were few and far between. I couldn't catch a break.
I had no intention of getting on a plane to meet someone halfway across the country because I certainly didn't have enough money for that. I barely had enough money to afford a trip in which I could fly out to Missouri to see my Mom and Loyd earlier in 2001. I couldn't imagine a situation in which I was willing to shell out money for an uncertain meeting with someone I barely knew in a place I wasn't familiar with.
Jarz was one of the first women I IM'd on AOL. We were in some chat room together and I looked at her profile. She was 28 years old and was a single mother. She lived in Michigan. What I really remember is that she had an amazing profile photo. (I wasn't brave enough to put my photo on my profile.) She was one of the few people I would describe as "sassy." She was very attractive, but I didn't feel like she was out of my league. We started chatting with each other.
One thing I should point out about my AOL experience is my chat method. I was very hard-wired to type correct grammar, punctuation and capitalization. I knew I was a pretty fast typist and didn't view having full sentences as an obstruction to trying to get a message across. About 30 minutes into our chat, she mentioned that she was trying hard to correctly type everything. I looked back at the beginning of our chat and saw that she started out with all lowercase letters and no punctuation, but that had changed midway through. I wrote, "Oh, you're trying to impress me!"
After that, we would occasionally find each other online and chat. After awhile, I got brave and asked if we could talk on the phone. She said we could, but she wouldn't give me her home number. I would have to call her at her job at a particular time of day. She worked at a Big Lots! I'd never heard of it before. But I did call her up. We talked for a few minutes before she had to start work.
She told me about how she had met someone else on AOL a year earlier and they arranged to fly do a destination in the middle to meet. But she didn't go into detail about what happened after that. I imagine it just didn't work out. I already knew I wasn't going to go that far to meet her, but it was nice to connect over the phone.
Once I went to a street fair in North Park and hung out with Tez and a couple of other guys. She needed to buy something, so we went inside a Pic 'n' Save store. (I always thought it sounded like something you weren't supposed to do with your nose.) Inside, I noticed that their bags said "Pic 'n' Save/Big Lots!" NOW I GET IT! They were both part of the same chain.
I talked to her at work a couple more times. Then, she told me she'd met someone and I didn't need to call her any more, so I never did. I never knew Jarz' last name, so I have no way of finding out what happened to her.
But I was fine with not talking to her anymore. As you'll find out, I had a couple of other women online I was making efforts to meet.
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Lostop #4: Verz
I would like to point out that this is the last Lostop that I will write about on this blog. (What's a Lostop? Click here!)
I first became aware of Verz when I went over to the Balboa building for NDC to interview for the LDA position. I went up to Camd's Supervisor station and I saw a woman with black hair talking to him. From the back, I thought it was Mitz and that she was also interviewing for the position. When Camd turned his attention away from the woman to look at me, she turned around and I could see it wasn't Mitz. She went and sat in her cubicle next to the Supervisor station. That was close. I considered Mitz strong competition. I didn't know anything about this woman, but it was apparent she wasn't applying for the same job I was.
The day I started working as an LDA, I was formally introduced to Verz. She was 20 years old and had large brown eyes. She was very beautiful and WAY out of my league. I didn't really talk that much with her. After a few days, I got to know a little bit more about her. One of the things that surprised me about working at the Supervisor station was how many of the employees would come up and chat with Camd and myself when they were supposed to be on the phones answering calls. When I was a dispatch agent, I never dreamed of wasting time like that. I was too busy concentrating on making my monthly bonuses. Hanging out at the Supervisor station would have literally cost me hundreds of dollars.
Camd especially seemed to enjoy when the younger female employees would do this. He never did or said anything inappropriate, but it was apparent that he was encouraging this behavior. Sure, I have to admit that I developed my crushes along the way, but his activities was even being noticed by some other members of the staff. I'd overheard the QA people making comments about how they could tell he wanted to start things up with certain agents, including Verz.
After a few months, Verz started talking to me more and more. One of the things I knew about her was that she had a boyfriend, but she couldn't tell her parents about him. The problem was that she was Indonesian and he was Japanese. Her grandfather had been tortured by the Japanese in WWII, so she was forbidden to have anything to do with anyone of Japanese ancestry. In addition, her previous boyfriend had also been Japanese, and she hadn't told her parents about him, either. I kind of wondered what excuse she gave her parents when she was going out on dates with them, but I never asked. He turned out to be a pretty big jerk (in the abusive sense), but she still stuck to him.
Verz then started creating "artwork" for me during her downtime. She made these little paper dolls that resembled her and the woman who had the cubicle next to her. When the other woman was promoted to QA, another woman took her location and Verz made a doll of her to give to me. I got the idea that Camd got a little jealous that I had received these gifts from her. But it made me wonder that if she didn't have that Japanese boyfriend, maybe she might have some kind of interest in me.
The day I got laid off, I got a little brave and asked for her e-mail address. She gladly gave it to me.
A couple of days later, I e-mailed her and was surprised to get a response the next day. She told me that morale was down at the call center and everyone was somewhat angry that the company president didn't express any kind of sympathy for those who had lost their jobs. She didn't think she was going to be there much longer and was going to start looking for another job.
So this was the beginning of a regular correspondence between the two of us. When I started writing this post, I thought that we had e-mailed each other back and forth just a few times. However, I discovered I had saved all her e-mails and we actually wrote each other once or twice a week for the next year. I do remember that I was trying to set up a situation in which we would be "dating." I never called it that, but I was definitely making the attempts when it looked like she was going to be leaving her boyfriend.
Here's what happened: I actually got to see Verz a few times after getting laid off because she and her mother would frequently come to where I worked. Her mother seemed to like me and smiled when she saw me. I tried to get Verz to go out with me "as friends." I was hoping we could do this on some kind of regular basis. I thought maybe she might enjoy the times she was with me and wouldn't enjoy the times that I wasn't around. And perhaps, we could go beyond being friends.
But anytime we made plans, something happened and we weren't able to go out, even if her mother might have approved of me. Later, I found out it was a pipe dream, because she later became involved with an Indonesian man, who actually treated her well. This was another boyfriend she didn't tell her parents about. She said that her parents didn't want her to date an Indonesian man. They wanted her to marry a rich white man. Well, that meant I had no chance, at least as far as her parents were concerned. However, she was going to have to tell them about the new boyfriend because she was pregnant and wasn't going to be able to hide it much longer.
I stopped writing her so much after that. (But mainly because I became involved with someone else.) I did keep in touch a couple more times. She had a little girl, but hadn't married the father. She did later get married to him and they had another girl. She didn't say anything about the drama involving her parents, but they appeared to accept what was going on.
We're currently connected on LinkedIn, but we haven't communicated with each other. She works in the healthcare industry. To this day, I wonder if she's aware that I had romantic designs on her or if she thought I was just trying to be her friend. Either way, it doesn't matter. She's still out of my league.
I first became aware of Verz when I went over to the Balboa building for NDC to interview for the LDA position. I went up to Camd's Supervisor station and I saw a woman with black hair talking to him. From the back, I thought it was Mitz and that she was also interviewing for the position. When Camd turned his attention away from the woman to look at me, she turned around and I could see it wasn't Mitz. She went and sat in her cubicle next to the Supervisor station. That was close. I considered Mitz strong competition. I didn't know anything about this woman, but it was apparent she wasn't applying for the same job I was.
The day I started working as an LDA, I was formally introduced to Verz. She was 20 years old and had large brown eyes. She was very beautiful and WAY out of my league. I didn't really talk that much with her. After a few days, I got to know a little bit more about her. One of the things that surprised me about working at the Supervisor station was how many of the employees would come up and chat with Camd and myself when they were supposed to be on the phones answering calls. When I was a dispatch agent, I never dreamed of wasting time like that. I was too busy concentrating on making my monthly bonuses. Hanging out at the Supervisor station would have literally cost me hundreds of dollars.
Camd especially seemed to enjoy when the younger female employees would do this. He never did or said anything inappropriate, but it was apparent that he was encouraging this behavior. Sure, I have to admit that I developed my crushes along the way, but his activities was even being noticed by some other members of the staff. I'd overheard the QA people making comments about how they could tell he wanted to start things up with certain agents, including Verz.
After a few months, Verz started talking to me more and more. One of the things I knew about her was that she had a boyfriend, but she couldn't tell her parents about him. The problem was that she was Indonesian and he was Japanese. Her grandfather had been tortured by the Japanese in WWII, so she was forbidden to have anything to do with anyone of Japanese ancestry. In addition, her previous boyfriend had also been Japanese, and she hadn't told her parents about him, either. I kind of wondered what excuse she gave her parents when she was going out on dates with them, but I never asked. He turned out to be a pretty big jerk (in the abusive sense), but she still stuck to him.
Verz then started creating "artwork" for me during her downtime. She made these little paper dolls that resembled her and the woman who had the cubicle next to her. When the other woman was promoted to QA, another woman took her location and Verz made a doll of her to give to me. I got the idea that Camd got a little jealous that I had received these gifts from her. But it made me wonder that if she didn't have that Japanese boyfriend, maybe she might have some kind of interest in me.
The day I got laid off, I got a little brave and asked for her e-mail address. She gladly gave it to me.
A couple of days later, I e-mailed her and was surprised to get a response the next day. She told me that morale was down at the call center and everyone was somewhat angry that the company president didn't express any kind of sympathy for those who had lost their jobs. She didn't think she was going to be there much longer and was going to start looking for another job.
So this was the beginning of a regular correspondence between the two of us. When I started writing this post, I thought that we had e-mailed each other back and forth just a few times. However, I discovered I had saved all her e-mails and we actually wrote each other once or twice a week for the next year. I do remember that I was trying to set up a situation in which we would be "dating." I never called it that, but I was definitely making the attempts when it looked like she was going to be leaving her boyfriend.
Here's what happened: I actually got to see Verz a few times after getting laid off because she and her mother would frequently come to where I worked. Her mother seemed to like me and smiled when she saw me. I tried to get Verz to go out with me "as friends." I was hoping we could do this on some kind of regular basis. I thought maybe she might enjoy the times she was with me and wouldn't enjoy the times that I wasn't around. And perhaps, we could go beyond being friends.
But anytime we made plans, something happened and we weren't able to go out, even if her mother might have approved of me. Later, I found out it was a pipe dream, because she later became involved with an Indonesian man, who actually treated her well. This was another boyfriend she didn't tell her parents about. She said that her parents didn't want her to date an Indonesian man. They wanted her to marry a rich white man. Well, that meant I had no chance, at least as far as her parents were concerned. However, she was going to have to tell them about the new boyfriend because she was pregnant and wasn't going to be able to hide it much longer.
I stopped writing her so much after that. (But mainly because I became involved with someone else.) I did keep in touch a couple more times. She had a little girl, but hadn't married the father. She did later get married to him and they had another girl. She didn't say anything about the drama involving her parents, but they appeared to accept what was going on.
We're currently connected on LinkedIn, but we haven't communicated with each other. She works in the healthcare industry. To this day, I wonder if she's aware that I had romantic designs on her or if she thought I was just trying to be her friend. Either way, it doesn't matter. She's still out of my league.
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