The BIG talk

When I was a teenager, I was aware that at some point, I was due for a discussion about sex with at least one of my parents. I was not looking forward to that. While my father had been quick to discipline me by yanking off his belt when I was younger, he was not so forthcoming with regular advice to help me through my adolescent years. I knew that, at best, such a discussion would be very awkward.

I also wondered how he would present the information. Every day, since I turned 13, I anticipated this conversation. Then, one day, Mom told me she needed to talk to me. My first thought was, "Oh, great, this is the sex talk and my Mom's going to do it. This is even worse."

"Fayd, you're growing up and your body is going through a lot of changes right now."

"Yeah?"

"Well, you need to know that this is going to cause your skin to break out in pimples."

"Uh..."

"Now, it's nothing to worry about. We're going to take you to see a dermatologist so that maybe it won't mess up your face so much."

And that was it. I never, ever got the sex talk, from either parent. I don't know if it was because they had no idea what to tell me, or if they were saving it for a later day, or thought that I would learn all I needed to know in 10th grade Biology. I started dating the next year, and you'd think they would have sat down with me then. (In a future post, I will detail what happened with my first girlfriend. It's worth waiting for.)

It wasn't until after I had turned 40 that my father said anything about sex that wasn't tied to some joke. My mother has never brought up the subject.

That left me to sort of figure out stuff on my own. This mainly consisted of hearing other guys talk about it at the school yard. While a lot of people frown on sex information being dispensed this way, I found most of what was said to be fairly accurate. Although I highly doubted many of their claims of conquests.

At this time, no one ever talked about condoms. I had seen the vending machines in truck stop bathrooms up to this point, but I had no idea what they were for. I wouldn't know until I was in my 20s.

I should let you know right now that I did not have my first sexual encounter until after I had graduated from college. Yes, it's going to be a long wait for that. Keep in mind that you're going to have to pile through my stories for the next couple of months before I get there, but I had to live decades before I got to experience that.

As for my skin, I did break out. I did go see a dermatologist. I put cream on my face and took capsules for a couple of years, but I still kept getting pimples. I still get them to this day, at about the same rate I had when I was a teenager.