Okay, I've written about many of the friends and enemies in college. Now, it's time to start writing about the various women I had encounters with during that time and into my adulthood. I've come up with a few special categories in past posts, but things are going to start getting a little more complicated and I don't want to waste space on each one to explain what they mean. So, I'm going to list all the old and upcoming categories here. Anytime I place a woman into one of these categories, I will include a link back to this page so you'll know what I'm talking about.
Here are the categories I've already covered:
1. Girlfriend
This is the most straightforward and one that I don't have to link back to this page. As I've mentioned before, for me to consider someone my girlfriend, I have to have gone out on a date with her, held her hand and kissed her, but not necessarily in that order. Up to this point on the blog, I've only had one actual girlfriend.
2. Crush
This means a crush in a classic sense. I like a girl, but I'm not certain if she likes me and I'm usually too chicken to try to make something more happen. I wind up pining for the girl for the rest of my life. I had a lot of these and most of them I have not bothered to mention in these articles.
3. Friend Zone
I think we've all been there. For me, to be considered stuck in the Friend Zone, I have to have gone out on at least one date solo with the woman. No hand holding, no kissing.
4. Mistop
This is a Missed Opportunity. It's a situation in which I was aware that a woman possibly liked me, but I didn't take any action (or didn't act soon enough) to try to get her to be my girlfriend.
And now for the upcoming categories:
5. Lostop
This is a Lost Opportunity, the first of which will be detailed in tomorrow's post. Like the Mistop, I was aware that the woman definitely liked me. But unlike the Mistop, I did take timely action, but a set of unusual circumstances kept us from getting to go on a date or pursuing anything further.
6. The Ring Zone
This is where I developed intense crushes on married women. They were so intense that I sorted halted my activity geared toward finding an actual girlfriend. I never would have tried to have sex with them and I never wanted them to leave their husbands for me, but I wouldn't have minded if they had given me more of their attention. The main difference between the Friend Zone and the Ring Zone is that, in the Friend Zone, you are placed there by the object of your desire; in the Ring Zone, you put yourself there.
7. Radio Tease
This is in reference to the women who would call me up when I was a DJ at a radio station. They liked the sound of my voice and thought I would be a total stud. However, when they met me in person, they were very dismayed by my appearance and avoided any attempts to get them to go out on a date with me. However, THEY STILL KEPT CALLING ME! Please note this category will not be limited to only the ones I met.
8. Personal Ad Tease
In order to find me a girlfriend, I had to write and respond to a lot of personal ads. Out of the hundred or so women I contacted, only two of them became girlfriends. Everybody else was a tease and I certainly have a number of interesting stories about them.
9. Internet Tease
I got to the phone stage with a few women on the Internet, but I only ever got to meet one of them. Again, the others were all teases.
10. Near Miss
This is an odd category in which I dated a woman and actually got to the hand-holding stage. However, there was no kissing involved, which means I got that close to making her an official girlfriend.
11. Pretend Marriage
This is where I lived with a girlfriend, and she had a child that was not mine. Notice how I don't have a "Living Together" category. That's because every girlfriend I only lived with had a child that was not mine.
12. Bed Mate
This is where I actually shared a bed with a girl I kind of liked, but we were fully clothed and never touched each other while we were sleeping. This is probably the strangest category because of how things played out. This happened twice to me, but it's going to be a long time before I get to this situation in this blog.
13. Wife
I only have one of these. You know when I get to this designation, I'm not going to be writing about any other women in my life. This will take even longer to get to.
It's nice that the women I've know in my life fit into 13 categories. It just shows how unlucky I've been in love. Tomorrow is my first Lostop.
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