My Attempts to Do Improv

I lived a few blocks away from a restaurant/bar called Govnr's Park in Denver. On Friday and Saturday nights when I lived there (from 1988 - 1991), they had an improv show called ComedySportz. It was done as a fake competition between two teams of actors.

From time to time, they would have auditions. I tried out once in 1989. They recommended that I come see one of the performances before the audition. I went and I liked what I saw. I wanted to be a part of it.

The nice thing about it was that I didn't have to really do anything special to try out. I didn't have to try to do a cold reading, monologue, dance or sing. I just had to come up with stuff off the top of my head.

The directors, a man and a woman, said they were looking to add a few members to their troupe, but didn't specify how many. But they indicated that if they liked a lot of people, they would hire them all. (I'm pretty certain it was easier for them to only like a couple of them more than anyone else.)

We were each essentially put into different improv situations akin to the games the played during the performances. I didn't really see anybody who wasn't capable of the tasks the directors had presented. (But then again, I didn't really have an eye for that.) This meant that the competition was going to be rather steep.

The directors said they would notify us within 24 hours if they wanted us as part of the show. On the way out, I was talking to one of the other actors. We were both fairly optimistic about our chances. I went home. By the time the 24 hours came and went, I had not received a phone call.

An odd thing about the audition is that there was this one actor there. He was tall, had dark hair and glasses. I ran into this guy all over Denver during the course of the next two years, including a book signing at the Tattered Cover Bookstore. He even came into the Mayan Theatre a couple of times. I always took that as a sign that we should have become friends, but we never really had much to say beyond, "Hi, how are you doing?"

I auditioned again in 1990. It was a Sunday afternoon. I struck up a conversation with one of the other actors. He said he had auditioned a couple of times before, but he never got selected. He said it was mainly because they already had a few chubby guys in the cast. If he didn't get selected, he was going to start losing weight.

This time, it was a lot less hectic. There were probably 20 people there. The audition was pretty much the same, but what was different this time was after the main audition, they had us all go outside while they determined who they would call back. And the call back would start right after that. One of the other actresses said she didn't think she was going to make the cut because there was already a short perky girl in the cast.

The directors came out and started calling out names. I was the second name they called. I was not expecting that. I leaped out of my chair when I heard my name. In all my previous attempts at acting outside of college, I'd never gotten a call back before. And I was the only one to jump up like that. It was kind of embarrassing. I figured I got called back because I simply didn't look like anyone else. I had very long hair at the time and it made me stand out.

The audition got a little more intense during the callback. I felt like I was holding up pretty well, but I could definitely see the qualities in the other actors that the directors were probably looking for. Still, I had an original look, so I thought I stood a good chance. Again, they told us they would call in 24 hours.

The next day, close to the end of the 24-hour mark, my phone rang. But it was Mand. She asked me to give her a ride somewhere. I told her I couldn't and that I needed to get off the phone. A few minutes later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. It was Mand again. She said she would give me gas money. I told her I couldn't and got off the phone. A few minutes later, it rang again. "Please, Fayd?" "I can't!" The phone never rang again, but I figured that if I'd really made the cut, they would have called much earlier. In fact, they even alluded to it the day before.

I ran into the directors individually at the Mayan Theatre in the next few months. The woman came with a female friend to see "Cyrano de Bergerac." The man came to one of our Animation Festivals toward the end of the year. He appeared to be out on a date with this really hot woman. The strange thing was that I thought that he was married to the other director as they shared the last name.

A couple of months later, I went out on a date with a woman in a wheelchair. (It was through a personal ad that she placed. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about that other than to say that I was fully aware of her disability ahead of time.) She was friends with someone in the show and she told me that there was all kinds of weird sexual things going on among the cast members. She said it all came about because everybody was constantly touching each other during rehearsals and the performances. She said the directors were married, but apparently had an open relationship. This intrigued me. I wanted to see what kind of shenanigans were taking place and how things led up to the sexual stuff. (Keep in mind I did not wish to participate. I just wanted to see how far things would go.)

So I got to audition again in 1991. That chubby guy was there again, as was another woman who had made the callback the last time. The chubby guy had actually lost weight, about 30 pounds. During the beginning of the audition, when we got up onstage and introduced ourselves, he pointed out that he had lost weight. He still looked chubby.

Again, I made the callback. I didn't react so strongly this time. I was actually expecting it. However, I did not get chosen again. It was disappointing, but I had really gotten used to rejection at that point. It's more or less been the story of my life.