Personal Ad Tease #6: Criz

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When I finally felt like I had gotten my financial footing, I decided to restart my pursuit for a girlfriend. I went to the personal ads in the San Diego Reader again. I called a few ads and I got one woman to actually call me back. Her name was Criz.

She was probably a couple of years younger than me. She had an unusual home situation. Her mother died soon after she was born, so she was adopted by her grandmother. This made her Criz' mother and her aunts and uncles were Criz' brothers and sisters. When referring to them in conversation, she always said, "Mom" or "my sister/brother." Even though she told me this at the very beginning, it was still rather confusing for me.

She was a big fan of "Star Trek: The Next Generation." She had cable and every day, she would watch an episode at 6pm on a San Diego channel and then a different episode at 7pm on a Los Angeles channel. I didn't have cable, so I could only watch one episode.

Criz lived in Lemon Grove. I asked her what there was to do in Lemon Grove. She said, "Go look at the giant lemon." I'd driven past it several times. I never saw the need to get out of the car and stare at it. But this would later to me frequently saying to other people when we were trying to figure out something to do, "Hey! Let's go to Lemon Grove and look at the giant lemon!"

Normally, I try to meet a personal ad date for the first time to get something non-alcoholic to drink, like at a coffee shop. However, I'd gotten a free pair of tickets to a preview screening of "Addams Family Values." On a second phone conversation, I asked her if she wanted to go on an actual date for our first meeting and she agreed.

We planned to meet at the Hazard Center where the screening was taking place. She told me she would be wearing a green sweater. I found her fairly quickly. She looked exactly as she described herself. She was short, had dark hair that was short and curly and some freckles on her face. I found her very cute.

We got in the line and waited to be let inside the theater. We stood still for about a half hour and were able to keep a constant conversation. We went inside and I bought some popcorn and soda. (It was nice not to have to pay for the movie.)

We enjoyed the film and I walked her out to her car. I asked if I could hug her goodbye and she agreed. It seemed like we both had a good time and I looked forward to calling her again.

And I did call her a couple of days later. Again and again. There was no answer when I called. I tried calling when I knew she would be at home between 6pm and 8pm, when "STTNG" was on. Still no answer. I tried calling a few minutes before 6pm and a little after 8pm. Still no answer.

After a couple of weeks, someone answered the phone. It was her Mom. I gave her my name and phone number and asked her to give Criz the message that I called. She said she would do that. But I never got a call. I stopped trying to call her after that.

I couldn't help but wonder what happened. I mean, if I'd gotten the idea that she didn't like me during the date, it wouldn't have been a problem. But we got along so well, I thought we were right for each other.

But here's the thing: In order to avoid talking to me when I called, she would have to not pick up the phone any time it rang, every time. How were her friends supposed to contact her? I suppose it's possible she had a private line and just gave me her Mom's phone number at the house. However, she gave me that number after our first conversation and answered it when I called. And when I talked to her Mom, she made no indication that Criz had a separate number.

In today's vernacular, this would be considered "ghosting" someone. But she managed to do it with a lack of technology.

This, however, is not the end of the story. A year and a half later, Abed and I went to a midnight showing of "Batman Forever." Going into the theater, I thought I saw her there with a female friend. After we'd gotten our seats, I looked around and saw her. The friend had gotten up and gone to the concession stand. I went up to her and asked, "Is your name Criz?" "Yes." "I don't know if you remember me. My name is Fayd." "Yes, I remember you. I saw you when you came in." "How are you doing?" "I'm doing okay." Then she just smiled at me and didn't say anything else. It started getting awkward, so I said, "Okay, I'll see you later." She just kind of smiled and said, "Okay."

And that was it. I know I was hoping that she was going to offer some sort of explanation as to why she wouldn't pick up the phone or even bother to call me back, but I was hoping for way too much. I started thinking along the lines that her female friend was a little on the butchy side and maybe that's why she didn't call me back. The bad thing about thinking that was that she probably saw Abed and may have thought the same thing about me.

I never saw her again after that. I don't think she ever told me her last name, so I definitely cannot find her on the Internet. I'm not even going to try with as little information as I have.

I know I'm better off not becoming closer to her, but it still hurts that she did that to me. I know I didn't do anything to deserve being treated like that.