Personal Ad Tease #9: Fyz

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I took to the Penny Saver again to try to meet someone. I don't recall what the ad said, but it stated the age of the person was 21. A couple of days later, I received a phone call. Her name was Fyz. Her first question to me was, "What is your race?" I told her, "White." She said, "I'm black. Do you have any issues with that?" "I guess not." (But really, I did and I wouldn't have responded to her ad if I'd known her race. However, she called me back, so I just went with the flow. I should also point out that I told her I was 23. If I hadn't, she wouldn't have called me back.)

We continued talking. She said she worked as a technician at Sea World. She seemed to describe herself as some sort of genius who completed high school at an early age and got an advanced degree in engineering. She would get called to repair stuff at the park, like the rides and electronic presentations. And certainly, she was articulate enough to match that level of intelligence. I must have been flattered that she wanted to continue talking to me.

She called me a couple more times. Once was late at night. I had to get up early for work the next day and tried to stay awake while she was on the phone. I know at least one time, I fell asleep and she had to yell to get me to wake up. I really had to get off the phone then. Eventually, we arranged to meet. She was going to be at San Diego State University for some kind of conference and I'd be able to see her there.

She had described herself as having very light skin. "Some people think I'm white!" she said. I had given her a very detailed description of my hair and explained that I would be wearing a black shirt. She told me to meet her by the Open Air Theatre. I arrived. There was some sort of gathering of black people at the theatre. It sounded like protest speeches against being marginalized by white people. I saw several black people outside the entrance, but I didn't see anyone who matched her description.

I did see this one young woman who wore glasses and a white short-sleeved shirt, but her skin was rather dark, so I didn't think it was her. I went to a pay phone to see if she had left me a message on my answering machine. While I was on the phone, I could sense that the woman with the glasses was about ten feet from me and looking at me. I quickly looked in her direction, but when I did, she turned her eyes away. There were no new messages on my machine. That meant she didn't call to cancel on me.

I waited a few more minutes and then I decided to walk back to my car. All of a sudden, I heard someone shout, "Hey! Are you Fayd?" I turned around. It was the woman with the glasses. "I was wondering if that was you!" But I know I was very specific about what my hair looked like. So yes, this was Fyz. But there was no way ANYONE would ever think she was white.

I asked her if she wanted to go driving around. She agreed and we walked out to my car. Now, I have to borrow a euphemism from the Joss Whedon show "Dollhouse" here. After we got in the car, I was experiencing a "man reaction." This caught me by surprise, because I was NOT physically attracted to her. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't what I would normally prefer in a woman. I can only assume that there was something chemical going on to make me react like that.

I decided to drive to Coronado. After crossing the bridge, we looked at the ducks in the pond at the Ameridian Hotel and then walked around the park nearby. During this time, I went into the public restroom. After I came back out, we walked back to the car and drove to the Hillcrest area. There, I stopped by the Guild Theatre. Baz was working in the box office. I introduced the two of them. We talked for a little bit.

I asked Fyz if she wanted to see my apartment. She said she was up for that. We went inside. I showed her my keyboard and that was about the extent of it. She said she needed to go back to SDSU so that she could meet back up with her friends. I dropped her off at the school.

The whole time we were together, I still had that male reaction going on. I was glad when the date ended. I came home later, sat down in the chair and started watching TV. After a few minutes, I HAD THE MOST INTENSE PAIN I'VE EVER FELT! I immediately realized I was suffering what is referred to as "blue balls." I grabbed whatever cold thing I could find in the refrigerator and put it against my crotch. I could feel the pain for the next hour. I was so thankful when it finally went away.

I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I didn't like that she had lied to me about her appearance (even though I liked about my age). Even though I didn't think I found her attractive, there appeared to be some part of me that did. A couple of days later I called her up. An older man answered the phone. I asked, "Is Fyz there?" "Who is this?" "This is Fayd." "This is her grandfather. How can I help you, Fayd?" "Can I speak to Fyz?" "Fayd, how old are you?" "I'm 23." "Well, Fyz is 17." "Okay, she told me she was 21." "Well, she's NOT!" "Okay, then." I hung up the phone.

A lot of questions entered my mind. Was everything she told me a lie? The genius label, the early diploma, the engineering degree, the job at Sea World? Probably. But what was the purpose of the lies? Was she trying to set up guys and blackmail them later? I made it quite clear I didn't have any money, so that didn't make sense. I had to come to the conclusion that this would be one of those times that I would never have all the answers.

But I am certainly glad that I wasn't sexually active at the time. I mean, if I was, I could have seen myself saying to her while in my apartment, "Hey, I don't ever just jump into the sack with someone right away, but if you're feeling what I'm feeling, I think we should just go for it!" And then I would be in big trouble. The blue balls were worth avoiding the legal mess I likely would have gotten into. (But if I'd known about the pain I would suffer later, I could have just taken care of business when I went into the bathroom in the park.)

At any rate, I was definitely better off not having sex in my life then. But that wouldn't last forever, and you'll find out soon enough why.