Friend Zone #12: Jenz

Fraz decided she needed to be the one to find me a girlfriend. So she wrote a personal ad for me to be placed in the San Diego Reader. I went along with it, figuring that if I wasn't having any luck with the ads I was placing, she might have a better idea about how to write something women would be willing to pay 50 cents a minute to respond to.

She titled the ad "5 O'Clock Shadow." (I have to go on a little rant here: This was because I only shaved once every three weeks and I almost always had stubble on my face. I HATED to shave, but my beard hair never grew out thick enough for me to have to shave every day. However, I also didn't want my beard hair to get to that point. I also HATED how I looked when I didn't shave, but I didn't have much of a choice. But if the social occasion called for it, I would shave more frequently than every three weeks. I did have to wait at least five days after my last shave in order for my electric razor to shave my face properly. Less than five days and I had to use a disposable razor, and I always got nicks. Now, I shave once a week and I still consider it a chore.) I just hoped that prospective respondents wouldn't be absolutely clear what that was referring to.

As usual, I was lucky to get one response. Her name was Jenz. She was 36 years old and had recently moved to La Mesa from San Francisco. We agreed to meet at the Trader Joe's over by the Grossmont Center on a Sunday afternoon. However, I'd never been there before and got lost. I found it about 20 minutes after the time we agreed to meet, but she had already left.

I was able to call her. I apologized for not arriving on time (which bugs the heck out of me when I'm not prompt) and she agreed to meet me another day. We set up a date, time and place. I don't remember where it took place at, but it was probably some coffee shop in La Mesa. She had short, spiky, dark blonde hair and wore glasses. She was rather cute.

She had been married before, but had divorced a few years ago and didn't have any children. She wasn't working, but was going to school to learn computer graphic design and animation. She had managed to get a grant to go to school and her father was providing her money for her living expenses.

I told Fraz about meeting Jenz. Her response was, "What did I tell you, Fayd? I get to f*** 'em first!" (Really? She'd seen "Don't be a Menace..."?) I told her that Jenz was someone she would REALLY like.

I arranged my next meeting with Jenz at a coffeehouse in Hillcrest. I told her I would be bringing a friend. Fraz and I arrived and Jenz was already there. Dard was also there. He was going to be performing an acoustic set.

During our conversation, Jenz revealed that she was actually 40 years old. This meant she wasn't honest with me about her age at first. But I couldn't really get mad at her about it because I had pulled the same stunt myself before on other women. It didn't really matter to me because I was still attracted to her and wanted to get to know her better.

However, Fraz found herself VERY attracted to Jenz. She asked Jenz if she was a lesbian or interested in women (and she kind of asked it more than once). Jenz never gave a solid yes or no to that question. When Jenz mentioned that she was moving out of the living situation she was in (living with some family and providing some babysitting services in addition to going to school), Fraz immediately offered her apartment as a place she could stay. Boy, this was NOT going the way I planned. And on top of all this, they were both DROOLING over Dard. And he made matters worse by sitting down and talking to us during his break. It may not have been Jenz' intention to Friend Zone me beforehand, but it looks like I had set everything up for that to happen.

Even though Jenz lived with Fraz for a few weeks, nothing happened between them. However, after she really got to know Jenz, she decided she wasn't her type. Jenz eventually found her own apartment near SDSU.

Jenz and I hung out a couple more times. Once, we went to a coffee house near SDSU and enjoyed some live acoustic music. I attempted to put my arm around her while we sat on a couch, but she sat up. I figured it wasn't going any further than that, so I never tried that again.

After a few months, Jenz sorted of faded out of my life. I don't know what happened to her and I never did really miss her once I realized she was gone. I don't recall her last name, so I'm unable to Google her.

But there was an unusual coincidence. When I was telling her about my music, she asked me if I had heard of a certain well-known guitarist from the Bay Area. I told her I had more than heard of him, I had actually met him. It turned out she used to be his babysitter.

It was probably the only thing we had in common.