This article will focus more on my roommate Jadd's experience auditioning for the Shenandoah Shakespeare EXPRESS company in 1993. It did have an impact on me in the way I view actors I've known, past and present, so that's why I'm going to go into a lot of detail here.
I first found out about the SSE when Jadd was talking on the phone with someone. He said he had discovered information about this traveling Shakespeare company from Virginia that went around and did scaled-down productions at high schools across the country. He appeared to be very excited about it and wanted to audition. After he got off the phone, he went into more detail about it with me. He told me that if he was selected for the company, he would be traveling with them for a year and would have to move out.
After he sent in his application and resume, he started the process to prepare for the audition. He did vocal exercises at the apartment every day. He went to the library every night and read the plays the company would be performing in repertory the next season. I would hear him acting out monologues. Out of all the actors I had known in my life, whether they were in high school, college, that production of "The Three Musketeers" I worked on in Denver, or the two episodes of "Denver Diner" that I performed on, no one came close to putting this kind of effort into their audition, let alone a performance. It made me feel a little ashamed to consider myself an actor.
(Actually, Bid probably put in this level of effort into auditions once he got into the real world and saw how competitive it was to try to make a career as an actor. I'm certain that all Toilethead would do was show up and just do a cold reading at a Shakespeare audition if he had decided to pursue that path. I suddenly realized how lacking the Theatre Department at ENMU was. I mean, there were productions in which Theatre students were permitted to phone their auditions in at the beginning of the school year because they showed up for classes a few days late.)
About a week before the audition, I picked up the phone when the SSE called for Jadd. They wanted me to let him know that since he had played the lead in that production of "Romeo and Juliet" for the San Diego Shakespeare Festival, he was automatically qualified for the callback. That meant that he didn't need to go to the cattle call. They said he could go to the cattle call, but he'd likely be wasting his time because they were going to call him back anyway. He was excited to hear about this because it meant he could spend an extra day with his family on the East Coast.
But I have to say, I would have found this rather distressing if I was an actor going to that cattle call. I would have spent the day studying all the competition. And if I was lucky enough to make the callback, I would arrive to find at least ten people who I didn't see the day before. This would have thrown me completely off my game. I would have to evaluate the competition all over again.
When Jadd left to go to the airport, I told him that, because of all the hard work and dedication he had put into it, I knew that he was going to pass the audition and become a part of the company. That meant I had to prepare to move out very soon.
A few days later, Jadd called me to inform me that he had indeed been selected and that I needed to turn in my 30 day notice to the landlord. While I was fully expecting him to be cast, I still didn't want to have to go out and find a new roommate.
Upon his return, Jadd told me about how the audition went. Even though he was very excited to be a part of it, he expressed some disappointment because the company didn't quite meet his expectations. He was anticipating that the cast would consist of young energetic actors, like himself. But the majority of the of the other members was in their 30s and early 40s. At 26, he was the youngest. Many of the members had been with the company for the last few years and saw no need to move on and make way for younger players. As part of the audition, he'd gotten to see the cast perform a production. He was very impressed with what they were able to accomplish, but knew that it was difficult for the older actors to make artistic connections with high school students.
I asked him if he saw anyone at the audition who was clearly out of their league. He hadn't seen the cattle call, where the most incompetent were likely to appear. But at the callback, there was one actress who simply could not perform Shakespeare without a British accent. That was the only one he knew for certain was not going to make it.
Later, I browsed through his SSE paperwork. (Yes, without his permission. I know this was wrong, but I was very curious.) I saw the cast lists for the plays that they were doing in repertory. He did not get a major role in ANY of them. On top of that, I saw the same actors doing the major roles. This didn't make sense. Why didn't they spread the major roles across the cast? Each member could get a major role in one play and minor roles in the others. I could see this added another level to his disappointment.
After Jadd and I moved out and squared away the deposit refund, I never got to talk to him again or find out about his experiences with SSE. I don't think he stayed with them after that one year commitment. But it wouldn't surprise me to find out that they had tried to get him to come back for another year by dangling the promise of a major role for him. Most young actors I know would turn that down, but most older actors would go ahead and take it. This would explain how they got some of the members of the cast to stay on longer than anyone had anticipated. I can see them getting comfortable with the situation: They're making their livings as actors and get to perform Shakespeare all year long. Some actors dream of that kind of security after they hit 30. I just know it wasn't for him.
Since then, the SSE has morphed into the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton, VA. It now has its own theatre for large scale productions.
After I had posted my articles about Jadd last week, I sent him an e-mail in an effort to re-connect with him. I hoped he was going to e-mail me back and give me some more information for this article, but he never replied.
We're just never going to be friends.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Job #16: Inventory Auditors, Inc. Era, 1993 - 1994
While I was still trying to find work through the classified ads in the summer of 1993, I came across a company that did inventory auditing for retailers. The name of the company was RGIS. They paid above minimum wage, so I thought it was worth checking out. I was fairly certain this would not be another telemarketing job in disguise, but still did not feel the need to put on my best face. I know I wore a dress shirt, but I also had on jeans. I didn't feel like this was the kind of job that needed someone to look their best.
I was told to show up at a certain time. There were about 10 other people there to be recruited. We all sat in the lobby, filled out the application and handed it in. The recruiter gave us a brief description of the job and handed us some paperwork to fill out. He also gave all of us a piece of paper and said, "This is the dress code. If there are any of you who have a problem with it, you can leave now." He left the room so that we could read and fill out the paper work. I looked at the dress code. The restrictions on clothing weren't a problem, but it said that men needed to have their hair cut above their neck. I realized that he was specifically addressing me about the dress code.
The funny thing about receiving unemployment is that you feel empowered to not just settle for any job. I knew that somewhere out there was a job I could work where they wouldn't make me cut my hair. And I would still get paid while I was looking for it, even if it took me another three months. I went ahead and walked out of the room without saying anything. The only bad thing was that at every job opportunity I went to, I wouldn't leave behind an application with my name and information on it if I decided not to pursue it. But I wasn't able to do that here. The recruiter had all the applications. I was glad I didn't see the recruiter on the way out, but I'm pretty certain he made some remark about me when he returned to the other applicants. Jerk.
Afterwards, I wondered what difference it made how long my hair was in this line of work. I kept it well groomed and it was naturally curly. I certainly did not look like I had a threatening personality. I knew I had not reached that moment of desperation in which I was willing to cut off two years' worth of growth.
A couple of weeks later, I found a classified ad for another company that did inventory auditing. I hoped they wouldn't have so many restrictions on their dress code. I went in with a few other people. The recruiter there started out by telling us that he was there to try to talk us out of working for them. He listed a lot of negatives about the job, including the fact that it wasn't regular work, it was basically temporary. There were also projects that would start as early as 2am or 3am and would sometimes require working 10 hours or more a day. Some of the projects involved traveling a couple of hours. They provided the transportation for those, but we didn't get paid for our time on the road getting there or coming back. In addition, there might be projects that go on for several days out of state. In those cases, they would provide for lodging accommodations.
And then what he started doing was training us on their auditing devices, which looked like adding machines without the little roll of paper attached to them. They also had a strap so that we could hang them from our waists and put data in with our fingers without having to look at the devices. He told us that if we got scheduled for projects, we would be paid for that training time. After the training, I approached him and asked about the dress code. I relayed my experience with RGIS. He said they didn't really have a dress code, but expected us to appear somewhat presentable. He didn't have a problem with my hair.
This was great news! It meant that, for the first time in three months, I won! I didn't have to take some other job that was going to force me to cut my hair. On top of that, I was still able to receive unemployment benefits. They removed a certain percentage to account for what I was earning, so I was actually getting more money every two weeks than I was when I strictly on unemployment. Yes, things were definitely looking up.
I got a call a couple of days later asking me to show up at a certain location to report for work. They had several employees there. One of the things that I noted right away was that the majority of the women who worked as auditors were rather unattractive. The only way this affected me was that I knew I wasn't going to be getting a girlfriend from this job. Another thing I noticed was how the more experienced employees were able key in information, to the point that their keypads sounded like they were typing about 200 words a minute with a constant rattling noise. This was even true of the unattractive women. Many of them could even carry on regular conversations while maintaining the same rate of speed. I wondered if I was ever going to be able to work that efficiently.
The truth of the matter was that I didn't. This turned out to be the one tolerable job in which I did not become one of the very best employees. But I wasn't the only one. There were several other people who had worked there longer than I did who never reached that level of competence. In the long run, it didn't matter. They gave raises every few months, regardless of how well you were performing. This also surprised me. Almost every place I'd worked up to that point was very stingy with raises. But I guess this helped them with their retention.
I usually worked for them once or twice a week. The furthest I had to travel was to Yuma, AZ and we were transported in a couple of vans. We did three stores in one overnight session. The only problem I had was that between one location and another, I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD! When we arrived, I jumped out of the van and ran to the door. Fortunately, someone was there to open it. I managed to use my instincts to find the restroom and relieve myself. My supervisor got mad at me for doing that. I really didn't care what she thought. I'm pretty certain she wouldn't rather have me pee all over the interior of the van.
I stopped working for the company in an unusual manner. I didn't quit and they didn't officially fire me. I had been a no-show for a couple of projects (because I wrote them down wrong in my calendar) and they stopped calling to notify me of schedules. By that point, it didn't matter because the other job I was working had pretty much turned full-time. The bad thing about not working for them was that shortly before it ended, they had hired some attractive female auditors. And I don't mean by comparison. They were TRULY attractive. However, they didn't pay much attention to me. They probably thought all the male employees were ugly.
My brother Loyd and my friend Abed both told me they had the same experience dealing with inventory auditors at their workplaces: "All the women are fat!"
Before I get to the end of this job story, I have to go into detail about a couple of the employees. They were a brother and sister. I got along with the brother okay, but the sister was (and I almost never use this word to describe a woman) UGLY! I don't mean in her appearance, it was her attitude, toward just about everything. She was constantly complaining about stuff, but mostly work. Now, she never berated anyone to their face or behind their back (with the exception of the supervisors), but the other auditors were aware that she couldn't let five minutes go by without griping about something. I recall her moaning about being forced to take a half-hour unpaid lunch because she thought that not taking it would mean we would finish a half-hour earlier and go home. A couple of us tried to explain that we were required by law to take that lunch and there wasn't anything we could do about it, but she kept on whining.
Loyd actually got to meet this brother and sister when I was able to get him into our Christmas party at a bowling alley. We wound up teaming with them for a game. We were actually bowling pretty well, and she wasn't bad herself, but she constantly had something negative to say. We just ignored her.
About eight years after I stopped working at Inventory Auditors, I was a cashier at Walmart. The brother and sister came through my line. I didn't recognize them at first, but then she started talking and I realized who they were. I asked if they used to work for Inventory Auditors. He said they had. I said that I didn't know if they recognized me, but I used to have really long hair. Yeah, they remembered me, but the business had closed and they worked for RGIS now.
Then the sister talked about how she got fired from Inventory Auditors for stealing money and that the supervisor who got mad at me for running to the bathroom was the person to blame for that theft. Whatever I thought about the sister, I never considered her a liar. (She was probably the most honest person I'd ever met!) She may have been off-base thinking the supervisor had anything to do with the theft, but she probably didn't do it.
They came through my line a couple of months later, and she repeated the same story. Yeah, some things just never change.
In 2009, after I'd lost the full-time job I had at the time, I went on a little vacation by myself to see Loyd graduate from college. I stopped at a Love's Truck Stop along the way to get something to eat. While I was there, I saw a couple of people doing auditing. (Convenience stores rarely needed more than two people to count all the inventory.) I realized that I might be able to get a job doing that again. When I returned to San Jose, I found an auditing company on-line and applied, but they never called me back.
But it's okay. I didn't want to go work someplace where I would be considered a mediocre employee.
As for the second job I got soon after this, it's going to be a few days before I go into detail about that. I wound up working there six years, so I'm going to need more than one article to cover my experience there. But trust me, it will be worth it.
I was told to show up at a certain time. There were about 10 other people there to be recruited. We all sat in the lobby, filled out the application and handed it in. The recruiter gave us a brief description of the job and handed us some paperwork to fill out. He also gave all of us a piece of paper and said, "This is the dress code. If there are any of you who have a problem with it, you can leave now." He left the room so that we could read and fill out the paper work. I looked at the dress code. The restrictions on clothing weren't a problem, but it said that men needed to have their hair cut above their neck. I realized that he was specifically addressing me about the dress code.
The funny thing about receiving unemployment is that you feel empowered to not just settle for any job. I knew that somewhere out there was a job I could work where they wouldn't make me cut my hair. And I would still get paid while I was looking for it, even if it took me another three months. I went ahead and walked out of the room without saying anything. The only bad thing was that at every job opportunity I went to, I wouldn't leave behind an application with my name and information on it if I decided not to pursue it. But I wasn't able to do that here. The recruiter had all the applications. I was glad I didn't see the recruiter on the way out, but I'm pretty certain he made some remark about me when he returned to the other applicants. Jerk.
Afterwards, I wondered what difference it made how long my hair was in this line of work. I kept it well groomed and it was naturally curly. I certainly did not look like I had a threatening personality. I knew I had not reached that moment of desperation in which I was willing to cut off two years' worth of growth.
A couple of weeks later, I found a classified ad for another company that did inventory auditing. I hoped they wouldn't have so many restrictions on their dress code. I went in with a few other people. The recruiter there started out by telling us that he was there to try to talk us out of working for them. He listed a lot of negatives about the job, including the fact that it wasn't regular work, it was basically temporary. There were also projects that would start as early as 2am or 3am and would sometimes require working 10 hours or more a day. Some of the projects involved traveling a couple of hours. They provided the transportation for those, but we didn't get paid for our time on the road getting there or coming back. In addition, there might be projects that go on for several days out of state. In those cases, they would provide for lodging accommodations.
And then what he started doing was training us on their auditing devices, which looked like adding machines without the little roll of paper attached to them. They also had a strap so that we could hang them from our waists and put data in with our fingers without having to look at the devices. He told us that if we got scheduled for projects, we would be paid for that training time. After the training, I approached him and asked about the dress code. I relayed my experience with RGIS. He said they didn't really have a dress code, but expected us to appear somewhat presentable. He didn't have a problem with my hair.
This was great news! It meant that, for the first time in three months, I won! I didn't have to take some other job that was going to force me to cut my hair. On top of that, I was still able to receive unemployment benefits. They removed a certain percentage to account for what I was earning, so I was actually getting more money every two weeks than I was when I strictly on unemployment. Yes, things were definitely looking up.
I got a call a couple of days later asking me to show up at a certain location to report for work. They had several employees there. One of the things that I noted right away was that the majority of the women who worked as auditors were rather unattractive. The only way this affected me was that I knew I wasn't going to be getting a girlfriend from this job. Another thing I noticed was how the more experienced employees were able key in information, to the point that their keypads sounded like they were typing about 200 words a minute with a constant rattling noise. This was even true of the unattractive women. Many of them could even carry on regular conversations while maintaining the same rate of speed. I wondered if I was ever going to be able to work that efficiently.
The truth of the matter was that I didn't. This turned out to be the one tolerable job in which I did not become one of the very best employees. But I wasn't the only one. There were several other people who had worked there longer than I did who never reached that level of competence. In the long run, it didn't matter. They gave raises every few months, regardless of how well you were performing. This also surprised me. Almost every place I'd worked up to that point was very stingy with raises. But I guess this helped them with their retention.
I usually worked for them once or twice a week. The furthest I had to travel was to Yuma, AZ and we were transported in a couple of vans. We did three stores in one overnight session. The only problem I had was that between one location and another, I needed to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD! When we arrived, I jumped out of the van and ran to the door. Fortunately, someone was there to open it. I managed to use my instincts to find the restroom and relieve myself. My supervisor got mad at me for doing that. I really didn't care what she thought. I'm pretty certain she wouldn't rather have me pee all over the interior of the van.
I stopped working for the company in an unusual manner. I didn't quit and they didn't officially fire me. I had been a no-show for a couple of projects (because I wrote them down wrong in my calendar) and they stopped calling to notify me of schedules. By that point, it didn't matter because the other job I was working had pretty much turned full-time. The bad thing about not working for them was that shortly before it ended, they had hired some attractive female auditors. And I don't mean by comparison. They were TRULY attractive. However, they didn't pay much attention to me. They probably thought all the male employees were ugly.
My brother Loyd and my friend Abed both told me they had the same experience dealing with inventory auditors at their workplaces: "All the women are fat!"
Before I get to the end of this job story, I have to go into detail about a couple of the employees. They were a brother and sister. I got along with the brother okay, but the sister was (and I almost never use this word to describe a woman) UGLY! I don't mean in her appearance, it was her attitude, toward just about everything. She was constantly complaining about stuff, but mostly work. Now, she never berated anyone to their face or behind their back (with the exception of the supervisors), but the other auditors were aware that she couldn't let five minutes go by without griping about something. I recall her moaning about being forced to take a half-hour unpaid lunch because she thought that not taking it would mean we would finish a half-hour earlier and go home. A couple of us tried to explain that we were required by law to take that lunch and there wasn't anything we could do about it, but she kept on whining.
Loyd actually got to meet this brother and sister when I was able to get him into our Christmas party at a bowling alley. We wound up teaming with them for a game. We were actually bowling pretty well, and she wasn't bad herself, but she constantly had something negative to say. We just ignored her.
About eight years after I stopped working at Inventory Auditors, I was a cashier at Walmart. The brother and sister came through my line. I didn't recognize them at first, but then she started talking and I realized who they were. I asked if they used to work for Inventory Auditors. He said they had. I said that I didn't know if they recognized me, but I used to have really long hair. Yeah, they remembered me, but the business had closed and they worked for RGIS now.
Then the sister talked about how she got fired from Inventory Auditors for stealing money and that the supervisor who got mad at me for running to the bathroom was the person to blame for that theft. Whatever I thought about the sister, I never considered her a liar. (She was probably the most honest person I'd ever met!) She may have been off-base thinking the supervisor had anything to do with the theft, but she probably didn't do it.
They came through my line a couple of months later, and she repeated the same story. Yeah, some things just never change.
In 2009, after I'd lost the full-time job I had at the time, I went on a little vacation by myself to see Loyd graduate from college. I stopped at a Love's Truck Stop along the way to get something to eat. While I was there, I saw a couple of people doing auditing. (Convenience stores rarely needed more than two people to count all the inventory.) I realized that I might be able to get a job doing that again. When I returned to San Jose, I found an auditing company on-line and applied, but they never called me back.
But it's okay. I didn't want to go work someplace where I would be considered a mediocre employee.
As for the second job I got soon after this, it's going to be a few days before I go into detail about that. I wound up working there six years, so I'm going to need more than one article to cover my experience there. But trust me, it will be worth it.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Unemployment Depression
After I'd moved in to my new apartment, I decided to take it a little easy on trying to find work and enjoy this period of my life in which I would have no responsibilities except cashing my unemployment check every two weeks. I wanted to concentrate on my music and work on an extended piece that I had a great idea for, but never had the time to devote.
So, life was pretty good for awhile. I would stay up late every night and watch TV. I'd go to sleep and wake up whenever. I'd hang around the apartment and work on the music. I tried to drive very little so that I wouldn't blow most of my money on gas. I had to watch every dime very carefully.
One of the things that became rather apparent after a few weeks was that, since I had moved to San Diego, I hadn't made any real friends. I mean, when I had moved to Denver, I was lucky enough to run into someone who wanted to be friends within my first few weeks there. But since I had moved to San Diego, my life revolved around work and later, that terrible situation at home. I didn't have any time to make friends outside of all that. And I wasn't really friends with either of the guys I was roommates with since I'd moved there.
In addition, I didn't have any money, so I spent a lot of free time walking to the Hillcrest Business District and browsing the stores around there. Sometimes, I would go into Ralphs and look at all the food that I wouldn't be able to buy. I couldn't believe that I had nothing better to do all day. It was certainly driving me crazy.
And crazy was almost a good description for what was going on inside my mind. However, a more accurate term would be "depression." I found myself caught up in these thoughts that I felt like I had no control over. I knew that what was going through my mind wasn't right, but I had no idea what I could do.
It seemed like little innocuous things could just set me off without any notice. One night, I was talking to Bid about some music I'd written. During the conversation, he said, "Hang on, I have to go to the bathroom." I waited for him to get back on the phone for about 15 minutes. I could hear him moving about the apartment and wondered why he wasn't picking the phone back up and talking to me. Then I heard him pick up the phone and hang it up. I called him back. He answered. I asked him what happened. He said, "We were done talking. I'm going to bed."
As soon as I got off the phone, this rush of negative thoughts took over my mind. I worried incessantly about what he thought about me calling him back after he'd hung up. I seriously could not get out of this pattern which seemed to not have any end in sight. I stayed up for hours that night concerned about how Bid was going to see me from now on. It was going to affect our friendship.
And at the time this was going on, I knew it was all irrational, but the logical side of my brain, which is usually in control, could not fight this off. I was a victim of my own neurological self-abuse.
I had a minor breakdown one day as I was fixing lunch. Since I didn't have a lot of money, I couldn't get pizza as often as before. And when I did get pizza, I had to settle for the frozen version from the supermarket. The oven in our apartment had a pre-heat function. I found it very useful as it quickly heated the oven up in a couple of minutes instead of having to wait close to ten minutes. You just had to remember to switch the oven to "bake" and set the temperature. Well, you've probably figured out what happened: I forgot to switch to the "bake" setting and after 20 minutes of sitting in the high heat, the pizza was completely scorched and inedible. I cried as I took the burned pizza out to the trash. That was $4 down the drain at a time when that amount was considered splurging. I couldn't believe I was getting that upset over it. I had another pizza in the freezer, but I didn't like that it meant one less pizza that I could eat until the next unemployment check.
Another incident came when I was watching David Letterman one night. This was a show shortly after his debut on CBS. During the monologue and throughout the program, David would say who his guests were that night. But every time he did the promotion, it was apparent that they edited out the name of a comedian who was supposed to be on the show later on. And it wasn't something they bleeped out, it was an abrupt cut. They didn't even try to cover up the fact that it was edited out. This really bothered me, because I felt like those edits were not made for the general viewing audience, but specifically to keep me from knowing the name of the person who was supposed to be on that show. I felt like they were hiding something from me that I needed to know. And again, I knew that this was an irrational thought, but it still kept me from falling asleep for several hours that night.
(Years later, I found out who that comedian was, but I can't remember his name now. But I know he's dead.)
Of course, one of the problems with me not being able to sleep at night probably had to do with the fact that I was sleeping so much during the day. But this is symptomatic of having depression. As I mentioned earlier in this article, I also didn't have a real support system in place due to the lack of real friends in San Diego.
While all this was going on, I knew that the one thing I needed to make me better was a job, something that would brace up my self-esteem. But even though I was depressed, I rather liked not having to go to work where people would tell me what to do.
But that attitude changed when I asked my Dad for financial assistance for the umpteenth time. He told me that this was going to be the last time he was going to give me money. And if I asked for money again, he was going to make me move back to Artesia and go to work for him. If there's anything worse than dealing with depression, it's the possibility you may have to move back in with your parents and live by their rules.
That more or less gave me the incentive I needed to go out and find a job. I lucked out and actually landed TWO jobs.
I'll go more into detail about one of them tomorrow.
So, life was pretty good for awhile. I would stay up late every night and watch TV. I'd go to sleep and wake up whenever. I'd hang around the apartment and work on the music. I tried to drive very little so that I wouldn't blow most of my money on gas. I had to watch every dime very carefully.
One of the things that became rather apparent after a few weeks was that, since I had moved to San Diego, I hadn't made any real friends. I mean, when I had moved to Denver, I was lucky enough to run into someone who wanted to be friends within my first few weeks there. But since I had moved to San Diego, my life revolved around work and later, that terrible situation at home. I didn't have any time to make friends outside of all that. And I wasn't really friends with either of the guys I was roommates with since I'd moved there.
In addition, I didn't have any money, so I spent a lot of free time walking to the Hillcrest Business District and browsing the stores around there. Sometimes, I would go into Ralphs and look at all the food that I wouldn't be able to buy. I couldn't believe that I had nothing better to do all day. It was certainly driving me crazy.
And crazy was almost a good description for what was going on inside my mind. However, a more accurate term would be "depression." I found myself caught up in these thoughts that I felt like I had no control over. I knew that what was going through my mind wasn't right, but I had no idea what I could do.
It seemed like little innocuous things could just set me off without any notice. One night, I was talking to Bid about some music I'd written. During the conversation, he said, "Hang on, I have to go to the bathroom." I waited for him to get back on the phone for about 15 minutes. I could hear him moving about the apartment and wondered why he wasn't picking the phone back up and talking to me. Then I heard him pick up the phone and hang it up. I called him back. He answered. I asked him what happened. He said, "We were done talking. I'm going to bed."
As soon as I got off the phone, this rush of negative thoughts took over my mind. I worried incessantly about what he thought about me calling him back after he'd hung up. I seriously could not get out of this pattern which seemed to not have any end in sight. I stayed up for hours that night concerned about how Bid was going to see me from now on. It was going to affect our friendship.
And at the time this was going on, I knew it was all irrational, but the logical side of my brain, which is usually in control, could not fight this off. I was a victim of my own neurological self-abuse.
I had a minor breakdown one day as I was fixing lunch. Since I didn't have a lot of money, I couldn't get pizza as often as before. And when I did get pizza, I had to settle for the frozen version from the supermarket. The oven in our apartment had a pre-heat function. I found it very useful as it quickly heated the oven up in a couple of minutes instead of having to wait close to ten minutes. You just had to remember to switch the oven to "bake" and set the temperature. Well, you've probably figured out what happened: I forgot to switch to the "bake" setting and after 20 minutes of sitting in the high heat, the pizza was completely scorched and inedible. I cried as I took the burned pizza out to the trash. That was $4 down the drain at a time when that amount was considered splurging. I couldn't believe I was getting that upset over it. I had another pizza in the freezer, but I didn't like that it meant one less pizza that I could eat until the next unemployment check.
Another incident came when I was watching David Letterman one night. This was a show shortly after his debut on CBS. During the monologue and throughout the program, David would say who his guests were that night. But every time he did the promotion, it was apparent that they edited out the name of a comedian who was supposed to be on the show later on. And it wasn't something they bleeped out, it was an abrupt cut. They didn't even try to cover up the fact that it was edited out. This really bothered me, because I felt like those edits were not made for the general viewing audience, but specifically to keep me from knowing the name of the person who was supposed to be on that show. I felt like they were hiding something from me that I needed to know. And again, I knew that this was an irrational thought, but it still kept me from falling asleep for several hours that night.
(Years later, I found out who that comedian was, but I can't remember his name now. But I know he's dead.)
Of course, one of the problems with me not being able to sleep at night probably had to do with the fact that I was sleeping so much during the day. But this is symptomatic of having depression. As I mentioned earlier in this article, I also didn't have a real support system in place due to the lack of real friends in San Diego.
While all this was going on, I knew that the one thing I needed to make me better was a job, something that would brace up my self-esteem. But even though I was depressed, I rather liked not having to go to work where people would tell me what to do.
But that attitude changed when I asked my Dad for financial assistance for the umpteenth time. He told me that this was going to be the last time he was going to give me money. And if I asked for money again, he was going to make me move back to Artesia and go to work for him. If there's anything worse than dealing with depression, it's the possibility you may have to move back in with your parents and live by their rules.
That more or less gave me the incentive I needed to go out and find a job. I lucked out and actually landed TWO jobs.
I'll go more into detail about one of them tomorrow.
Friday, May 6, 2016
What's the big deal about who goes in the bathroom?
With all the recent controversy over using the restroom, we have to keep in mind that there's not always a choice:
And somehow, I don't think we'll ever get to the end of this issue. This video certainly is not going to help the situation.
And somehow, I don't think we'll ever get to the end of this issue. This video certainly is not going to help the situation.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
The Futile Search for a Real Job
I'd been unemployed before. But I'd never been on Unemployment before. That makes things a little different. You know that if you don't get a job, you still have money coming in that isn't given to you by your parents. It changes your level of desperation in trying to find a job.
During the summer of 1993, I put in a lot of applications. I would go to the malls and fill out the forms, but no one called me back. I also scanned the classified ads. I would find job titles that appealed to me, but somehow, they all appeared to be telemarketing. This really irritated me. I would go somewhere to apply and there would be a lot of other people applying. We would listen to their spiel for about 15 minutes before they revealed that we were going to be making cold calls to sell stuff.
Once, I decided to fight back. I went to one place searching for a "customer service" position. I got there and another person came in. We were waiting to talk to a recruiter. During this time, we could hear someone SCREAMING at an employee about not sticking to the script. This person went on a rant that was a combination of the "Brass Balls" speech delivered by Alec Baldwin in "Glengarry Glen Ross" and the "Nothing" berating by Kevin Spacey in "Swimming with Sharks." This guy was yelling about how large his paycheck was because he stuck to the script. I knew then that this was another telemarketing job. On top of that, it would be a high-pressure situation.
I should have left after that, but I wanted to make a statement. After the "encouragement session" was over, a woman came out and brought the two of us into that same room. She gave a little background and got to the part where we would be calling people to offer services. I said, "This is not customer service! This is telemarketing. Why didn't you put in the ad that this was telemarketing? This is a waste of my time." She replied, "It's not telemarketing because we're calling people who asked us to call them. But I don't like your attitude and I don't want you working here!" I just walked out the door. I hadn't planned anything to say beyond what I did, so she wound up getting the last word. I wish I had told her about us hearing someone get yelled at for ten minutes straight and how that doesn't happen if this was really customer service.
I responded to another ad for "operators." When I called, I was told to arrive at the address at a certain time. I went into a room with about 40 other people. Already, this didn't look good. This man came before the group and introduced himself. He talked about advertising on TV and radio and how if you didn't get the results you wanted, you couldn't get your money back. They had an advertising method that guaranteed results. If the customer didn't get the results they wanted, they would get their money back. I wondered if we were going to be selling advertising. The product was one of those large coupon books from local businesses that cost about $50 each. He said that when we sold them, people who bought them would be able to get a free room in Vegas on a weekday. He said it was easy for them to arrange for rooms. At this point, I thought that maybe we were selling these coupon books to people who were calling in to order them. This still seemed acceptable. Then he said, "And we sell these books by calling up customers." Now, I knew for certain what was up.
I wasn't going to try to make a scene like I did the last time. I just got up and walked out of the room without saying anything. After I got outside, I looked back. About 15 people were behind me. I don't know if they had planned to do the same thing ahead of time or if they were just following my lead. At any rate, I felt like I'd had some influence this time.
And this made me wonder about telemarketing. The turnover rate has to be astronomically high. I would imagine that out of every 100 people these companies hire, maybe one person is able to do the job successfully on a continuous basis. That weeding out process must make up for about 90% of their costs. How were these companies able to maintain themselves when the cost of recruiting and staffing ate up so much of their profits? I guess they figured that once they got the ideal staff, they could stop recruiting and just concentrate on the sales. However, the people who work their way up the ladder with a certain company likely go on to a larger telemarketing company and make more money, so they have to start the process all over again. It's too bad they didn't have a better way to recruit than to mislead your average jobseeker with a promise of gainful employment.
But of course, this all impacted a chance I had at a real job. I responded to an ad for an operator. I thought it was another telemarketing position, but I still wanted to check it out. But this time, I didn't try to make myself look good. I didn't tie my long hair in a ponytail. I didn't wear my best clothes. I probably didn't shave. I was told to show up at a specific time. There were about 30 other people gathered for the recruitment. Yes, this all looked familiar.
However, it turned out that this was a legitimate company that provided 411 services for people with cell phones. WHAT? I was stunned! More and more people were getting cell phones, but they didn't connect to the regular 411 service reached by landline users. The company actually made its money when someone would call directory assistance and then have the operator transfer them to the number they requested. I guess if you were rich enough to own a cell phone at the time, you didn't care about an additional 50 cent charge to be connected via Directory Assistance. The recruiters even relayed a story about how a cell phone user was stuck on his boat in the ocean. He couldn't call 911, but he could call 411 and they were able to coordinate the call to connect him to 911.
I felt bad about not getting spruced up. I figured my appearance was going to cost me the job. However, the recruiters mentioned that they were looking to hire for overnight shifts. I figured this was my best chance to get hired. After the presentation, I approached them and told them I was interested in the overnight shift. They said they would consider my application.
A few days later, I got a call from them to set up an interview. I figured my interview would be with one of the recruiters I had already met. While I got a little more dressed and shaved before I went there, I decided not to wear my hair in a ponytail. I thought that since they'd already seen me with my hair like that, that damage was already done. I arrived on time and was taken to a room. A man whom I hadn't met before came into the room and did the interview. Again, I felt like a schmuck.
I remember one of the first lessons from my Job Interview Techniques class in college: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." My professor should have amended that with, "...but with every interview you attend, act like you have to make a first impression." The interview went okay, but I didn't get the job. I was REALLY mad at those telemarketing companies now.
And then there was that job prospect that turned out to be a fool's errand. I saw that the San Diego International Airport was hiring people to work the kiosks. They were paying a decent amount, so I thought I'd call them up. I arranged for an interview on a certain day and time. I showed up at the airport and went to the Human Resources department. I was told to take a seat as the recruiter was interviewing someone else. While I was waiting, I suddenly heard yelling: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO POSITIONS AVAILABLE? WHY DID YOU CALL ME DOWN HERE? THIS IS A F****** WASTE OF MY TIME!" I saw a woman storm out of the office.
I didn't know what to think about this. It didn't make sense that they would call candidates over just to tell them there were no jobs. The bad part about this was that I had to pay for my parking and they made no offer for validation. This interview for a non-existent position was going to cost me a dollar. I don't blame that woman for getting mad. However, I knew that putting on a show like that would definitely make them not want to hire me, so I decided to just go along with it and be quiet in the chance that they were perpetuating a hoax just to see how the candidates react to bad news.
When I went in, the woman told me they didn't have anything available. I said, "Okay." The woman went on to describe the position and mentioned that it was a union job. This probably explained what happened. They likely just filled the positions with employees who were current union members and had shut down the recruiting right before the other woman and I got there. However, the recruiter didn't explain this. As it turned out, they didn't hire me. So much for taking the high road on that one.
I did eventually get my self un-unemployed. But before I accomplished that, things got a whole lot worse for me personally.
More on that Monday.
During the summer of 1993, I put in a lot of applications. I would go to the malls and fill out the forms, but no one called me back. I also scanned the classified ads. I would find job titles that appealed to me, but somehow, they all appeared to be telemarketing. This really irritated me. I would go somewhere to apply and there would be a lot of other people applying. We would listen to their spiel for about 15 minutes before they revealed that we were going to be making cold calls to sell stuff.
Once, I decided to fight back. I went to one place searching for a "customer service" position. I got there and another person came in. We were waiting to talk to a recruiter. During this time, we could hear someone SCREAMING at an employee about not sticking to the script. This person went on a rant that was a combination of the "Brass Balls" speech delivered by Alec Baldwin in "Glengarry Glen Ross" and the "Nothing" berating by Kevin Spacey in "Swimming with Sharks." This guy was yelling about how large his paycheck was because he stuck to the script. I knew then that this was another telemarketing job. On top of that, it would be a high-pressure situation.
I should have left after that, but I wanted to make a statement. After the "encouragement session" was over, a woman came out and brought the two of us into that same room. She gave a little background and got to the part where we would be calling people to offer services. I said, "This is not customer service! This is telemarketing. Why didn't you put in the ad that this was telemarketing? This is a waste of my time." She replied, "It's not telemarketing because we're calling people who asked us to call them. But I don't like your attitude and I don't want you working here!" I just walked out the door. I hadn't planned anything to say beyond what I did, so she wound up getting the last word. I wish I had told her about us hearing someone get yelled at for ten minutes straight and how that doesn't happen if this was really customer service.
I responded to another ad for "operators." When I called, I was told to arrive at the address at a certain time. I went into a room with about 40 other people. Already, this didn't look good. This man came before the group and introduced himself. He talked about advertising on TV and radio and how if you didn't get the results you wanted, you couldn't get your money back. They had an advertising method that guaranteed results. If the customer didn't get the results they wanted, they would get their money back. I wondered if we were going to be selling advertising. The product was one of those large coupon books from local businesses that cost about $50 each. He said that when we sold them, people who bought them would be able to get a free room in Vegas on a weekday. He said it was easy for them to arrange for rooms. At this point, I thought that maybe we were selling these coupon books to people who were calling in to order them. This still seemed acceptable. Then he said, "And we sell these books by calling up customers." Now, I knew for certain what was up.
I wasn't going to try to make a scene like I did the last time. I just got up and walked out of the room without saying anything. After I got outside, I looked back. About 15 people were behind me. I don't know if they had planned to do the same thing ahead of time or if they were just following my lead. At any rate, I felt like I'd had some influence this time.
And this made me wonder about telemarketing. The turnover rate has to be astronomically high. I would imagine that out of every 100 people these companies hire, maybe one person is able to do the job successfully on a continuous basis. That weeding out process must make up for about 90% of their costs. How were these companies able to maintain themselves when the cost of recruiting and staffing ate up so much of their profits? I guess they figured that once they got the ideal staff, they could stop recruiting and just concentrate on the sales. However, the people who work their way up the ladder with a certain company likely go on to a larger telemarketing company and make more money, so they have to start the process all over again. It's too bad they didn't have a better way to recruit than to mislead your average jobseeker with a promise of gainful employment.
But of course, this all impacted a chance I had at a real job. I responded to an ad for an operator. I thought it was another telemarketing position, but I still wanted to check it out. But this time, I didn't try to make myself look good. I didn't tie my long hair in a ponytail. I didn't wear my best clothes. I probably didn't shave. I was told to show up at a specific time. There were about 30 other people gathered for the recruitment. Yes, this all looked familiar.
However, it turned out that this was a legitimate company that provided 411 services for people with cell phones. WHAT? I was stunned! More and more people were getting cell phones, but they didn't connect to the regular 411 service reached by landline users. The company actually made its money when someone would call directory assistance and then have the operator transfer them to the number they requested. I guess if you were rich enough to own a cell phone at the time, you didn't care about an additional 50 cent charge to be connected via Directory Assistance. The recruiters even relayed a story about how a cell phone user was stuck on his boat in the ocean. He couldn't call 911, but he could call 411 and they were able to coordinate the call to connect him to 911.
I felt bad about not getting spruced up. I figured my appearance was going to cost me the job. However, the recruiters mentioned that they were looking to hire for overnight shifts. I figured this was my best chance to get hired. After the presentation, I approached them and told them I was interested in the overnight shift. They said they would consider my application.
A few days later, I got a call from them to set up an interview. I figured my interview would be with one of the recruiters I had already met. While I got a little more dressed and shaved before I went there, I decided not to wear my hair in a ponytail. I thought that since they'd already seen me with my hair like that, that damage was already done. I arrived on time and was taken to a room. A man whom I hadn't met before came into the room and did the interview. Again, I felt like a schmuck.
I remember one of the first lessons from my Job Interview Techniques class in college: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." My professor should have amended that with, "...but with every interview you attend, act like you have to make a first impression." The interview went okay, but I didn't get the job. I was REALLY mad at those telemarketing companies now.
And then there was that job prospect that turned out to be a fool's errand. I saw that the San Diego International Airport was hiring people to work the kiosks. They were paying a decent amount, so I thought I'd call them up. I arranged for an interview on a certain day and time. I showed up at the airport and went to the Human Resources department. I was told to take a seat as the recruiter was interviewing someone else. While I was waiting, I suddenly heard yelling: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO POSITIONS AVAILABLE? WHY DID YOU CALL ME DOWN HERE? THIS IS A F****** WASTE OF MY TIME!" I saw a woman storm out of the office.
I didn't know what to think about this. It didn't make sense that they would call candidates over just to tell them there were no jobs. The bad part about this was that I had to pay for my parking and they made no offer for validation. This interview for a non-existent position was going to cost me a dollar. I don't blame that woman for getting mad. However, I knew that putting on a show like that would definitely make them not want to hire me, so I decided to just go along with it and be quiet in the chance that they were perpetuating a hoax just to see how the candidates react to bad news.
When I went in, the woman told me they didn't have anything available. I said, "Okay." The woman went on to describe the position and mentioned that it was a union job. This probably explained what happened. They likely just filled the positions with employees who were current union members and had shut down the recruiting right before the other woman and I got there. However, the recruiter didn't explain this. As it turned out, they didn't hire me. So much for taking the high road on that one.
I did eventually get my self un-unemployed. But before I accomplished that, things got a whole lot worse for me personally.
More on that Monday.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Real Life Roommate #2: Jadd, Part 2
In yesterday's post, I explained how I got Jadd as a roommate. Today, I'll go into detail why we stopped sharing the same apartment. It's pretty much the beginning of the end.
Jadd came across some information about this Shakespeare company based on the East Coast that was going to be holding auditions. They traveled around to schools and did repertory productions of some of Shakespeare's plays. If he was selected, he would be committing a year to this company. This would mean he would be moving out.
Before he left to go audition, a phone call came in for him. I answered it. The person on the other end said she wanted to hire Jadd to work a convention in which he would be helping to promote cell phones. His resume with his agent stated that he was able to juggle and that's what they needed someone to do. They said the job would be for three days and he would get paid $200 a day. It happened to be scheduled right before he was supposed to fly out of San Diego. I told her I couldn't speak for him, but I knew he would be very interested. When he came home, I gave him the message. Yes, he was very interested and was happy to make some money before heading out.
Before he left for the audition, I told him that I was probably going to eat all the food he had in the house because I was really low on money. He didn't have a problem with it.
(I will go into further detail about Jadd's audition in a future post. I need the space of a full article to explain what happened.) He did get the job. He called me to let me know so I could turn in my month's notice to the property management company as he was going to be doing the same. This meant I was going to have to go through the roommate search again, but I knew I wasn't going to pay for it this time.
When Jadd came back to San Diego, one of his friends was supposed to pick him up at the airport, but he didn't show up. Jadd called me and I was able to get him. I found him waiting at the curb and called over to him. In the time he had been gone, I had some good news. I'd gotten two part-time jobs, but he was too tired to get really excited about it.
As we were preparing to move out, we had to defrost the refrigerator as the freezer had a three-inch thick layer of ice inside. I asked him if he'd ever defrosted a refrigerator before. He shook his head no. I explained that we needed to keep an eye on the freezer because we didn't want all the ice to melt and get water all over the inside of the fridge. I told him that if he was ever home and he heard a loud crash, that meant the upper layer of ice had collapsed and he would need to remove it and put it in the sink. He looked at me like he didn't believe anything could make that much noise just falling five inches.
One day, I came home and he said, "Oh, man! It happened just like you said it would! I heard the loud crash, opened the freezer and the top part had caved in." I guess he really didn't think I knew what I was talking about.
Before we moved out, he had to have his old roommate come by and sign a release for the deposit. Her name was still on the lease and if he didn't get her signature, the deposit check would have been made out to both of them and he wouldn't have been able to cash it. When she came over, I could tell that he was REALLY into her and it was too bad she had a boyfriend. Otherwise, I probably would have heard some more sneezing coming out of his room.
When we were working to pay our final bills before moving out, I got some good news in the mail. A program I had signed up for with Pacific Bell when I was living with Chez would give me 300 free minutes of long distance if our long distance averaged more than $30 a month for six months. As is turned out, Chez and all her long distance calls made my bill average around $200 a month. Right before we moved out, I received three coupons worth $10 each. Even better, they didn't have to be used on a phone account in my name. Jadd and I were able to use them toward our phone bill.
The day came that Jadd was to leave San Diego and go to the airport. His friend, the same person who was supposed to pick him up at the airport and whom he had just sold his USPS jeep to, was supposed to show up at a certain time to drive him over. But he didn't show up at the scheduled time. Jadd asked if I could drive him instead. I agreed. A few minutes later, his friend showed up and Jadd gave him a dirty look while maintaining a smile. His friend exclaimed, "Oooh! He gave me the evil eye!" They were able to leave in a timely manner and that was the last time I ever saw him.
I did speak to him a couple of weeks later when he found out he'd received his deposit refund in his postal mail box (at the same location I would set up a postal mail box a couple of years later). After I retrieved the check, deposit summary and our final bills, we figured out how much we would receive from the deposit based on the summary. (They claimed my bathroom was messy and charged for cleaning it, so that was money I lost. But I know I got that bathroom as clean as possible.) I was to deposit the check into his bank account. (It did not need to be endorsed.) He would send me a check for my share. I did get that in the mail about a week later.
I never heard from him again. Less than a year later, I had produced my first (and only) cassette release of my original music and I wanted to send him a copy. I still had his father's phone number. I called him up and he gave me the address to send to the members of the traveling company. I never heard back from him.
But I do know what has happened to him. He went on to appear in several stage productions across the country and appears to have been able to make a living in the theatrical field. He has also been providing lessons for children who want to learn how to do Shakespearean-style acting. It doesn't look like he's ever gotten married or had children, but I could be wrong.
One interesting thing about the period in which I was living with Jadd was that, even though we became roommates soon after my debacle with Chez, I don't believe I ever mentioned her or burdened him with what I went through prior to meeting him.
I"m sorry that we didn't become better friends. I thought we had a lot in common, but some people can in a place in which they feel it's fruitless to be friends with someone through no fault of their own. I certainly don't hold that against him.
Jadd came across some information about this Shakespeare company based on the East Coast that was going to be holding auditions. They traveled around to schools and did repertory productions of some of Shakespeare's plays. If he was selected, he would be committing a year to this company. This would mean he would be moving out.
Before he left to go audition, a phone call came in for him. I answered it. The person on the other end said she wanted to hire Jadd to work a convention in which he would be helping to promote cell phones. His resume with his agent stated that he was able to juggle and that's what they needed someone to do. They said the job would be for three days and he would get paid $200 a day. It happened to be scheduled right before he was supposed to fly out of San Diego. I told her I couldn't speak for him, but I knew he would be very interested. When he came home, I gave him the message. Yes, he was very interested and was happy to make some money before heading out.
Before he left for the audition, I told him that I was probably going to eat all the food he had in the house because I was really low on money. He didn't have a problem with it.
(I will go into further detail about Jadd's audition in a future post. I need the space of a full article to explain what happened.) He did get the job. He called me to let me know so I could turn in my month's notice to the property management company as he was going to be doing the same. This meant I was going to have to go through the roommate search again, but I knew I wasn't going to pay for it this time.
When Jadd came back to San Diego, one of his friends was supposed to pick him up at the airport, but he didn't show up. Jadd called me and I was able to get him. I found him waiting at the curb and called over to him. In the time he had been gone, I had some good news. I'd gotten two part-time jobs, but he was too tired to get really excited about it.
As we were preparing to move out, we had to defrost the refrigerator as the freezer had a three-inch thick layer of ice inside. I asked him if he'd ever defrosted a refrigerator before. He shook his head no. I explained that we needed to keep an eye on the freezer because we didn't want all the ice to melt and get water all over the inside of the fridge. I told him that if he was ever home and he heard a loud crash, that meant the upper layer of ice had collapsed and he would need to remove it and put it in the sink. He looked at me like he didn't believe anything could make that much noise just falling five inches.
One day, I came home and he said, "Oh, man! It happened just like you said it would! I heard the loud crash, opened the freezer and the top part had caved in." I guess he really didn't think I knew what I was talking about.
Before we moved out, he had to have his old roommate come by and sign a release for the deposit. Her name was still on the lease and if he didn't get her signature, the deposit check would have been made out to both of them and he wouldn't have been able to cash it. When she came over, I could tell that he was REALLY into her and it was too bad she had a boyfriend. Otherwise, I probably would have heard some more sneezing coming out of his room.
When we were working to pay our final bills before moving out, I got some good news in the mail. A program I had signed up for with Pacific Bell when I was living with Chez would give me 300 free minutes of long distance if our long distance averaged more than $30 a month for six months. As is turned out, Chez and all her long distance calls made my bill average around $200 a month. Right before we moved out, I received three coupons worth $10 each. Even better, they didn't have to be used on a phone account in my name. Jadd and I were able to use them toward our phone bill.
The day came that Jadd was to leave San Diego and go to the airport. His friend, the same person who was supposed to pick him up at the airport and whom he had just sold his USPS jeep to, was supposed to show up at a certain time to drive him over. But he didn't show up at the scheduled time. Jadd asked if I could drive him instead. I agreed. A few minutes later, his friend showed up and Jadd gave him a dirty look while maintaining a smile. His friend exclaimed, "Oooh! He gave me the evil eye!" They were able to leave in a timely manner and that was the last time I ever saw him.
I did speak to him a couple of weeks later when he found out he'd received his deposit refund in his postal mail box (at the same location I would set up a postal mail box a couple of years later). After I retrieved the check, deposit summary and our final bills, we figured out how much we would receive from the deposit based on the summary. (They claimed my bathroom was messy and charged for cleaning it, so that was money I lost. But I know I got that bathroom as clean as possible.) I was to deposit the check into his bank account. (It did not need to be endorsed.) He would send me a check for my share. I did get that in the mail about a week later.
I never heard from him again. Less than a year later, I had produced my first (and only) cassette release of my original music and I wanted to send him a copy. I still had his father's phone number. I called him up and he gave me the address to send to the members of the traveling company. I never heard back from him.
But I do know what has happened to him. He went on to appear in several stage productions across the country and appears to have been able to make a living in the theatrical field. He has also been providing lessons for children who want to learn how to do Shakespearean-style acting. It doesn't look like he's ever gotten married or had children, but I could be wrong.
One interesting thing about the period in which I was living with Jadd was that, even though we became roommates soon after my debacle with Chez, I don't believe I ever mentioned her or burdened him with what I went through prior to meeting him.
I"m sorry that we didn't become better friends. I thought we had a lot in common, but some people can in a place in which they feel it's fruitless to be friends with someone through no fault of their own. I certainly don't hold that against him.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Real Life Roommate #2: Jadd, Part 1
After I returned from my vacation and did my phone interview with the unemployment people, I had to set about finding a roommate to move in with. I decided to pay to enroll in a roommate matching service. I made an appointment to go the nearby Postal Annex to sign up. I put down my anticipated rent and areas I was willing to move to. I really didn't want to get too far away from the part of San Diego that I lived in, so I kept my options pretty limited. This all turned out to be a big waste of money.
When I looked at the available listings after paying the fee, virtually everyone looking for a roommate was either outside my rent range or the distance I was willing to move. I figured I could try again the next week as I could keep looking for a whole month. However, the night after I registered I got a couple of phone calls from people who were looking to have roommates move in. They sounded DESPERATE! Almost as if they wouldn't be able to afford the next month's rent if someone didn't move in. Since I still had a few weeks left in my apartment (I wasn't going to move out until July 7th), I wasn't in that big a rush to agree to something right away. On top of this, the people who called were from National City and Chula Vista.
I looked in the classifieds to find people looking for roommates. I came across this one person who lived on Cleveland Ave. His name was Jadd. We arranged to meet at his apartment. He was 26 years old and somewhat resembled Tom Hanks if he had blond hair. He was very fit and trim. I told him about my situation with being jobless, but that I would be receiving unemployment, so I'd be able to make the rent every month. He told me that he was an actor. He didn't have a regular job, either. He did temp work for a company that provided costumed characters for children's birthday parties. He also worked with children learning how to act at the San Diego Junior Theatre and did other odd jobs from time to time. He said he always managed to make enough to pay for rent and his bills. As an actor, he played Romeo in a production of "Romeo and Juliet" for the San Diego Shakespeare Festival. But getting paying gigs in local theatre productions was really tough.
I told him that I also had a degree in theatre, and tried to do some acting, but it really didn't pan out. One of the things he asked about was my furniture. I told him I had a sleeper sofa, a bed and a TV. He was interested in that because he didn't have a TV and his current roommate would be taking her TV with her. He told me that the only things he had to watch on TV were "Law & Order," "The Simpsons" and "Seinfeld." He said he still had a couple of other people to talk to about the apartment and that he would be getting back to me soon. I told him I thought he would be a good roommate and that we would get along very well.
A few days later, he called me up and told me he had chosen me to be his new roommate. He just needed to have me pay my half of the rent and the deposit. I was able to pay the rent, but not all of the deposit. He said that wouldn't be a problem. The old roommate wasn't in a real rush to receive her share. As it turned out, the day I moved in was the day I managed to get the money to pay the deposit after selling the crib I had. I brought it over so he could get it to the old roommate, who was supposed to come over that day to get the rest of her stuff.
I came back by later to move some more stuff in and the old roommate was there. She was a very attractive woman about my age. She had mid-length light brunette hair and a nice tan. I asked her what it was like living with Jadd. She said she really didn't know because she was rarely there at the apartment. She spent most of her time at her boyfriend's place, but said he was nice and they got along okay during the times they were together in the apartment.
I had managed to get the guy from the Hillcrest Cinemas who got fired a week before I did to help move the heavy stuff. As usual, I had to pay him in pizza. We ordered a Bigfoot pizza that was available from Pizza Hut at that time. Jadd had helped us get the sleeper sofa in, so he was also entitled to the pizza. My moving-in pizza tradition continued.
Things went very well between Jadd and me during the time that we lived together, but we were never really friends. If we were watching TV together, I would sit on the sleeper sofa and he would sit on his chair against the back wall of the living room. We would talk to each other while watching TV, but it was always awkward for me to have to turn my head almost completely around to address him. The only time we both sat on the couch was when a female friend came over during the rerun of the 4th season finale of "Seinfeld." She also sat on the couch with us.
As for his work doing costumed characters for children's parties, I came home one day to find a Barney the Dinosaur costume in pieces on his furniture. It was a funny sight to greet me. He told me he'd also dressed up as Aladdin and worn a dalmatian costume. The odd thing about the Barney costume was that it wasn't exactly Barney. It like of looked like him, but the hue of purple was considerably darker and the person wearing the costume would have purple fingered gloves on his hands instead of the "claws" that Barney typically sported on TV. It wasn't a job he liked, but he did it to get some income. One time, I heard him talking to the employer on the phone. He wanted Jadd to do a dalmatian party in August and he told him no. "That costume is too hot for this time of year and I'm not going to do it!"
Jadd told me that he was going to have a female friend from a few years back stay with us a few days. He had planned several things to do with her while she was in town, like going to the beach, going to see a movie and so forth. She was also planning to spend some time in Los Angeles, so she wasn't going to be with us the whole time she was here. She would return and stay a couple of days before she went back home. When she was at the apartment, she slept in his room and he slept on the sleeper sofa. It turned out to be a good arrangement. I hardly saw her.
The final night she was in the apartment, I was awakened by a noise. It sounded like Jadd was sneezing several times in rapid succession. Then I realized it was coming from his room. And then the thought struck me: HE'S NOT SNEEZING! THEY'RE HAVING SEX!!!! And I could hear some sounds emanating from her, but she wasn't as loud. I was freaking out. I'd never been so close to two people making love before (that I knew of).
But the one thing I didn't know was how I was going to act around them the next day. I knew something had happened between them and it was going to be very awkward for me. When I woke up the next morning, his bedroom door was closed and the sleeper sofa was back in place. Later, Jadd came out of his room. She had already left. This was a relief. Just him, I could deal with like nothing had happened and I don't think he knew that I knew. I mean, I certainly did not high-five him. THAT really would have been awkward.
There was never anything else as unexpected that happened while we were roommates, but our time together ended rather abruptly. More on that tomorrow.
When I looked at the available listings after paying the fee, virtually everyone looking for a roommate was either outside my rent range or the distance I was willing to move. I figured I could try again the next week as I could keep looking for a whole month. However, the night after I registered I got a couple of phone calls from people who were looking to have roommates move in. They sounded DESPERATE! Almost as if they wouldn't be able to afford the next month's rent if someone didn't move in. Since I still had a few weeks left in my apartment (I wasn't going to move out until July 7th), I wasn't in that big a rush to agree to something right away. On top of this, the people who called were from National City and Chula Vista.
I looked in the classifieds to find people looking for roommates. I came across this one person who lived on Cleveland Ave. His name was Jadd. We arranged to meet at his apartment. He was 26 years old and somewhat resembled Tom Hanks if he had blond hair. He was very fit and trim. I told him about my situation with being jobless, but that I would be receiving unemployment, so I'd be able to make the rent every month. He told me that he was an actor. He didn't have a regular job, either. He did temp work for a company that provided costumed characters for children's birthday parties. He also worked with children learning how to act at the San Diego Junior Theatre and did other odd jobs from time to time. He said he always managed to make enough to pay for rent and his bills. As an actor, he played Romeo in a production of "Romeo and Juliet" for the San Diego Shakespeare Festival. But getting paying gigs in local theatre productions was really tough.
I told him that I also had a degree in theatre, and tried to do some acting, but it really didn't pan out. One of the things he asked about was my furniture. I told him I had a sleeper sofa, a bed and a TV. He was interested in that because he didn't have a TV and his current roommate would be taking her TV with her. He told me that the only things he had to watch on TV were "Law & Order," "The Simpsons" and "Seinfeld." He said he still had a couple of other people to talk to about the apartment and that he would be getting back to me soon. I told him I thought he would be a good roommate and that we would get along very well.
A few days later, he called me up and told me he had chosen me to be his new roommate. He just needed to have me pay my half of the rent and the deposit. I was able to pay the rent, but not all of the deposit. He said that wouldn't be a problem. The old roommate wasn't in a real rush to receive her share. As it turned out, the day I moved in was the day I managed to get the money to pay the deposit after selling the crib I had. I brought it over so he could get it to the old roommate, who was supposed to come over that day to get the rest of her stuff.
I came back by later to move some more stuff in and the old roommate was there. She was a very attractive woman about my age. She had mid-length light brunette hair and a nice tan. I asked her what it was like living with Jadd. She said she really didn't know because she was rarely there at the apartment. She spent most of her time at her boyfriend's place, but said he was nice and they got along okay during the times they were together in the apartment.
I had managed to get the guy from the Hillcrest Cinemas who got fired a week before I did to help move the heavy stuff. As usual, I had to pay him in pizza. We ordered a Bigfoot pizza that was available from Pizza Hut at that time. Jadd had helped us get the sleeper sofa in, so he was also entitled to the pizza. My moving-in pizza tradition continued.
Things went very well between Jadd and me during the time that we lived together, but we were never really friends. If we were watching TV together, I would sit on the sleeper sofa and he would sit on his chair against the back wall of the living room. We would talk to each other while watching TV, but it was always awkward for me to have to turn my head almost completely around to address him. The only time we both sat on the couch was when a female friend came over during the rerun of the 4th season finale of "Seinfeld." She also sat on the couch with us.
As for his work doing costumed characters for children's parties, I came home one day to find a Barney the Dinosaur costume in pieces on his furniture. It was a funny sight to greet me. He told me he'd also dressed up as Aladdin and worn a dalmatian costume. The odd thing about the Barney costume was that it wasn't exactly Barney. It like of looked like him, but the hue of purple was considerably darker and the person wearing the costume would have purple fingered gloves on his hands instead of the "claws" that Barney typically sported on TV. It wasn't a job he liked, but he did it to get some income. One time, I heard him talking to the employer on the phone. He wanted Jadd to do a dalmatian party in August and he told him no. "That costume is too hot for this time of year and I'm not going to do it!"
Jadd told me that he was going to have a female friend from a few years back stay with us a few days. He had planned several things to do with her while she was in town, like going to the beach, going to see a movie and so forth. She was also planning to spend some time in Los Angeles, so she wasn't going to be with us the whole time she was here. She would return and stay a couple of days before she went back home. When she was at the apartment, she slept in his room and he slept on the sleeper sofa. It turned out to be a good arrangement. I hardly saw her.
The final night she was in the apartment, I was awakened by a noise. It sounded like Jadd was sneezing several times in rapid succession. Then I realized it was coming from his room. And then the thought struck me: HE'S NOT SNEEZING! THEY'RE HAVING SEX!!!! And I could hear some sounds emanating from her, but she wasn't as loud. I was freaking out. I'd never been so close to two people making love before (that I knew of).
But the one thing I didn't know was how I was going to act around them the next day. I knew something had happened between them and it was going to be very awkward for me. When I woke up the next morning, his bedroom door was closed and the sleeper sofa was back in place. Later, Jadd came out of his room. She had already left. This was a relief. Just him, I could deal with like nothing had happened and I don't think he knew that I knew. I mean, I certainly did not high-five him. THAT really would have been awkward.
There was never anything else as unexpected that happened while we were roommates, but our time together ended rather abruptly. More on that tomorrow.
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