Friday, December 27, 2013

An anniversary I no longer have to recognize

Today is December 27th. It was on this day in 1962 that my parents got married. If they had remained married, last year would have been their 50th wedding anniversary. Interestingly enough, that milestone never occurred to me until this year.

When I was growing up, their anniversary wasn't really something we celebrated. Mom and Dad just did their own thing that night and Loyd and I stayed with Grandma Bend or someone else since it was just two days after Christmas. On that note, Loyd and I never got them any cards or gifts or anything because we felt like it was just something between the two of them. We didn't think it really had anything to do with us.

That changed when I was 15. I guess Mom got some idea in her head that Loyd and I were going to get them something. That night, she and Dad sat us down. Mom did all the talking. She said that she was very disappointed that we didn't get them anything for their anniversary. We explained that we didn't know we were supposed to get something and that we'd never been asked to do anything in all the years before. That didn't matter to Mom.

I didn't really like having that guilt trip laid on me. I was somewhat determined to "forget" the anniversary the next year. However, when Christmas rolled around, Loyd said he didn't like that we had done that to Mom and Dad and suggested we get them something. I just wanted to get them a card, but he wanted to spend actual money and get them a present. We got them weights because it was something they both could use.

So, it went like that the next few years. On their 25th anniversary, a party was thrown at their house. It was Grandma Bend who did most of the organizing, but we still had to send out all these invitations. The good thing is that it meant that we didn't have to buy them any presents that year because the party was their present.

It was a good party. A lot of people came. One couple that Mom and Dad knew in college came all the way from Virginia. I was shocked. When I saw their name and address on the invitation list, I almost didn't want to send one to them because I knew for sure they were not going to come all this way. The funny thing was that they were not at Mom and Dad's wedding because his parents were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and they had just come in from their 50th anniversary.

Two years later, Loyd was in Spain and did not spend Christmas with us. This left me to get their anniversary present. Even though I had just been fired from a really terrible job and had only been able to line up a minimum wage job, I had a lot of money to spend on Christmas that year. I spent the most money I ever had for a present for Mom and Dad. I got them a CD player. It cost $127. I was proud of myself.

About a month later, Mom called to tell me that Dad had left her. She told me not to worry, that they were going to try to work it out. After getting off the phone, my first thought was, "Dang! And I just spent $127 on an anniversary present."

So obviously, they didn't work it out. They both got married to other people and they are still married to those other people. Dad and Gred have been married 22 years and Mom and Dend have been married 19. Even though I was at both their weddings, I have not sent as much as a card for their anniversaries. I have only called to congratuate them on their 10-year and 20-year anniversaries.

I don't plan to do more than that if they hit 25 or pass the 27-year threshold.

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