Goin' Mobile

Since I wasn't able to get a computer like I wanted, I thought maybe I could spend my income tax refund money on a cell phone. I got something in the mail from AAA that had a special offer. It was a Kyocera phone that looked like a silver bullet. It was available through Verizon Wireless and was practically free. One of the features was that it had a button to contact AAA directly in the event of an emergency. It looked like I would be getting a good deal on this.

I called the number and told the representative I was interested in getting the phone. She commented about how someone had brought this phone to the office to show everyone and a lot of people wanted it. She asked a lot of questions and then she said she was going to have to do a credit check. I told her we might run into a problem here because I had just been denied credit at Gateway. She said something to the effect that they use the same credit check system as Gateway, so she wasn't very optimistic about the results, either.

After a few moments, she said, "Guess what? You can get THREE phones!" What? Why did Gateway run me out on a rail then? But this was good news. I was going to get a cell phone and join the 21st century.

The package was delivered a few days later. The first thing I did was plug in the charger. The phone wouldn't come on. I didn't know why. Reading the directions, I found out that I needed to have the battery inserted before anything would happen.

After I got it to turn on, I tried to figure out how to get a dial tone. I was pushing the green "call" button, but I didn't hear any noise. I then read the directions and found that I needed to punch in the number I wanted and then hit the green button. I called my landline phone from the cell phone. That worked! However, I tried to call the cell phone from the landline. I could hear it make a connection, but the cell phone wasn't ringing. Fortunately, there was a number I could call for technical assistance. Within one minute, they had the cell phone ringing and working. Time to play with my new toy!

One of the first things I discovered was that the button that was programmed to call AAA was actually the button that was supposed to be used to call my voice mail. This wasn't very smart. I mean, I'm going to call my voice mail far more often than I'm going to call AAA. I feel sorry for anyone who has their car break down more often than their friends leave messages. I was able to reprogram it.

One of the cool things about the phone was that I could program a different ring tone for each contact. This was the most fascinating aspect, getting to match the available tunes to my friends' personalities. All the tones were recognizable tunes (and included "Happy Birthday") but there was one song I couldn't figure out. One night, I was driving through Arizona and listening to NPR. They played a recording of Mussorsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition." I was aware of the title, but never heard the piece. I suddenly realized this was the melody and assigned that one to Abed's wife, Qued, who was an aspiring artist.

The first person I happened to call on the phone was Abed. I walked up to his door and then called him. I told him I was coming over and immediately knocked on the door. He was shocked! When I ran into other friends, I would show them the new phone and tell them I had joined the "idiot brigade." It was funny because up to this point in my life, I thought people with cell phones were stuck up and materialistic. I had suddenly become one of them.

The plan available at this time was that I had a limited number of minutes I could use between 7am and 7pm and unlimited night and weekend minutes. I didn't have long distance. When I looked at the coverage map, it appeared that I could call anywhere in Southern California and it would be considered a local call. I thought this was a good thing. I was able to call Chud and some other people without having to worry about paying extra. But I was wrong. SO VERY WRONG! When I got my first bill, I went through the roof! In addition to the astronomical sales tax (which I wasn't expecting), I had a huge amount to pay for the calls to LA. When I called Verizon, they said something to the effect that the map didn't indicate the local calling area, just the coverage in Southern California. (Years later, I received a credit from a lawsuit. I assume it was related to this deception.)

For long distance, I had a calling card that I was able to program in the phone. That kept my bills from getting any higher.

Everybody I've ever known says the same thing about cell phones: "How did we ever get by without them." I recall the worst 24 hours of my life and think about how so much of that wouldn't have happened if I'd had one and there was an available wireless network.

The odd thing about this phone is that I only had it for one year. I then received an offer from Verizon Wireless for a free phone and plan that would include free long distance. The only problem was that the nighttime minutes didn't begin until 8pm. This would be the first in a long series of phone changes over the next several years. (And no, I'm not going to track those.)