I was on my way to Las Vegas. This would be the first time I ever went to a destination all by myself, where I wasn't going to have to visit someone or abide by some schedule. I was just going to check into a hotel, gamble and relax before driving back home to San Diego.
I got to Las Vegas in the late morning. The first thing I did was go Downtown. I had heard that the slots were looser there, so I thought I would try my hand at the machines and play some blackjack. After years of seeing that neon sign featuring the cowboy beckoning with his thumb into the Pioneer casino, I actually got to go inside. The first thing that caught my attention was that for all of its iconic reputation, it's not very large. I played some slots and some blackjack, but didn't really win anything.
I spent most of the afternoon going from casino to casino, just playing blackjack. Around 3pm, I knew I could go check in at a hotel and decided to go to Circus Circus to see what they had available. I went to the front desk and they had a room in their Manor Suites available for $19. WOW! THAT'S CHEAP! I checked in and went to my room. I remember how one of my teachers in high school had gone to Vegas and he said that the room was like Motel 6. That described my room exactly. It was No Frills: two queen-sized beds and some festive trim on the walls. Of course, in Las Vegas, you spend very little time in your room, so the accommodations don't need to really knock you out.
After getting settled, I went out and rode the monorail to what I thought was the main casino. I wondered why I couldn't find the big area where they had the circus acts and the games for the kids from when I had been there in 1978. It turned out I was in the casino in their towers. I did not realize how LARGE Circus Circus was. (I guess the Tower casino was for those guests too lazy to walk all the way over to the main casino.) I found the main casino. I played more blackjack and more slots, but never really won any money. One of the cool things I liked about Circus Circus was that most of their female dealers were young and cute. It did prove to be rather distracting. After gambling awhile, I was feeling hungry, so I looked for something to eat. They had a pizza restaurant there. I ordered a pizza, but it wasn't as good as I was expecting. Usually, I can eat an entire pizza like nobody's business, but I think I barely got halfway through. It was probably the worst pizza I'd had since Video/Pizza in Roswell.
I figured I had spent enough time at Circus Circus' casino. I went outside and started walking down the strip. I soon came upon Caesar's Palace. I walked through the Shops at the Forum and then came back out to play blackjack. I sat at the same table for two hours. During that time, my chip pile was increasing, so I would start placing higher wagers. However, I soon found myself losing, so I would go back to my original wager. My pile would go back up and I would again increase my wagers. And of course, I started losing again after that.
A strange thing happened at one point. I could hear a guy who sounded drunk come up behind me and ask the dealer, "Can I play?" and placed a $20 bill on the table. The table was completely full and I don't think the dealer heard his initial question. The dealer gave the guy his chips and he continued to stand behind me. The person next to me said, "Hey, this guy here thinks he's playing your hand." I had two face cards dealt to me. He added, "He thinks he's winning." I gave the hand motion for "stand" and I saw the guy's hand also making the "stand" motion. Yeah, he did think he was playing my hand. The dealer got a 20 so that meant I pushed and my chip remained on the table. I saw the guy's hand reach toward my chip. I immediately slapped my fingers down on it so he couldn't pick it up. He said, "Hey!" I said, "That's MY chip!" The dealer informed him that he had given him $20 worth of chips and that he wasn't playing. I guess he got the message and went away.
So I pretty much broke even for the night. I walked back to Circus Circus and fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and ate at the breakfast buffet. This was the first time I'd ever gotten to do this. And it was so cheap! The thought occurred to me (as I'm certain it has for so many people who have come to Vegas) that I could easily make a living as a gambler. With the hotel room being $19 a day and meals being so inexpensive for all the food you can get, all I had to do was go out every day, quickly make $100 playing blackjack and I could make $36,000 a year without having to really work. I thought this was very viable. But I"m glad I never tried it. For starters, I would eventually learn that it's possible to have very bad streaks at the tables. I recall one time that I lost nine hands in a row without going bust on any of them. Even though I was getting 18, 19 or 20, the dealer ALWAYS had a higher hand. That probably happens more often than you expect. Another thing I didn't know was that I had paid the Sunday night rate, which is generally the cheapest night, AND this happened to be on the last day of the Thanksgiving weekend, when so many people are already trying to go home.
I walked around and gambled some more. Playing at one blackjack table, I had actually gotten $200 ahead when it was just me and the dealer. I found I preferred playing mano a mano because everything happened so fast and that's how I was able to ratchet up my chips. But as you might expect, I started losing after awhile and I kept losing. I wound up having to get a cash advance on my credit card so I could get myself home. I couldn't afford to gamble anymore. Yeah, that living in Vegas thing started looking like a bad idea.
Even though I lost a lot of money, it was still the best time I'd ever had by myself. I always enjoyed going to Vegas after that. And the nice thing was that since it was only six hours away, I could easily drive up and see my parents every time they decided to come to Vegas. I could just sponge off of them and it didn't cost so much.
One interesting side note: When I checked in at Circus Circus, I remember they referred to their motor lodge as the "Manor Suites." But recently, I made a reservation for an upcoming trip to Vegas and I made reference to the room being in the Manor Suites. The reservation desk corrected me and told me that the rooms were not suites, it was a motor lodge. I told her that they called them the Manor Suites when I stayed there 24 years ago. She didn't have much to say about that.
No vacation is really without its fallout. I'll get to that tomorrow.
(And a special side note: Not counting my "Redux" articles, this is my 500th blog post. I really thought I would be done with my WHOLE life by now, but I was wrong. We can probably expect at least another 250 posts before I catch up with my current life and can start on Phase Two.)
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
An unexpected vacation, Part 2
After I left Alamogordo, I drove to Roswell. I was hoping to see Chez and her son Joad while I was in town. I drove over to the duplex where I last saw them with Road. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I looked in the window and the apartment was vacant. I figured that I would go to her parents' house next.
Chez wasn't there, but her stepmother was. Also there were her stepmother's daughter and Kiz' three kids. Her stepmother told me that Chez had moved over to a duplex just down the street. What had happened was that Road was constantly violating a restraining order placed against him by the people who ran the low-income housing community where Chez lived. Because Chez never called the cops whenever he showed up, they just kicked her and Joad out. (Note that Road was constantly threatening to just up and take Joad away from her if she didn't let him in the house and he usually came over with friends, so she really didn't have much of a choice.) However, she and Road were living in this duplex together.
Kiz was also living with Chez and Road, but her father and stepmother had temporary custody of her three kids. What happened was that Kiz and her boyfriend were constantly on Child Protective Services' radar. She said that CPS had a file on them that was three inches thick. She added that the children were constantly being neglected and left alone at the house. One day, the children were REALLY hungry, so the oldest (who was four years old at this point) got a chair, opened the freezer compartment of the refrigerator and pulled out some frozen pizzas. The three children ate these pizzas while they were still frozen. When the boyfriend came home and saw that they had eaten the pizzas, he got angry, took off his belt and started beating the boy.
I drove over to the house where Chez had moved to, but no one was home. I drove to Artesia. I spent time with both my parents. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur, except that Loyd came with a different friend. I was going to spend the night at Mom's house. After she went to bed, I went out and drove to Roswell.
I went to Chez' house and knocked on the door. She asked who it was. "It's Fayd!" She opened the door. Road was asleep on the couch in the living room. Chez said Joad was sleeping in the bedroom. She was watching TV. We sat and talked for about an hour and a half. The whole time, Joad remained asleep. One of the things she told me was that she had started a rose tattoo on her shoulder. There was a blank space on the tattoo for someone's name. She said she was going to put Road's name there. At this point, I figured that was pretty much it, that she had decided to stay with him. I didn't like it, but there wasn't anything I could really do.
I went back to Mom's house. Loyd was laying down on the living room sofa. He woke up as I came in. He told me about this dream he was having in which events just kept repeating over and over. Then he asked me what I was up to. I told him I went to see Chez and that it looked like she was going to stay with him. I then went to bed.
We had Thanksgiving the next day. I don't remember too much about the next couple of days, except that this was the time that Dad was hurt because he felt like we weren't spending enough time with him. When it was apparent he was upset on the phone, Loyd and I rushed over to see him. He gave us a lecture on how he had so much to offer us and he didn't like being neglected like that, even though we spent more time with him than Mom when I was last there four months ago. We just couldn't win.
I decided that since I still had plenty of time left on my vacation, I would drive to Las Vegas and spend some time there. This had not been planned ahead of time. I knew that I would just up and leave Saturday morning, spend the night somewhere in Arizona, drive up Sunday morning and check into a hotel there.
Since I wanted to see Chez and Joad one more time before I left, I drove up to Roswell first. Road was awake this time and appeared to tolerate my presence. Kiz got out of bed while I was there. I hung out for a bit and took a few photos. One of Road's friends came by and they went outside to work on his car. It was during this time that I decided to leave. I asked Chez if I could give her a hug goodbye. She said, "Yeah, Road's not around." While I hugged her, I tried to kiss her on the cheek, but my long hair was in my face and kept my lips from making actual contact with her skin. After the attempted kiss, I whispered to her that I wish it could have been longer. I went outside, waved goodbye to Road and drove off.
As I was driving away, I started crying because I thought that I might never see Chez again. I believed it would be best if I just stayed out of their lives for all eternity.
Next, I drove to Alamogordo to see Kird. He was at his house with his girlfriend. We talked for a little bit. Nothing new had happened since I last saw him. While I drove north through Tularosa, I considered stopping to see Abed before going back to San Diego, but I didn't want to be driving too late into the night before I stopped to sleep. Along the way, I think I stopped in Springerville to get some gas. I remember some teenage boys at the gas station while I was there. It made me think back to my teenage years in Artesia and how growing up in this little town would have probably been a lot worse.
I stopped and spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ. This was the same town my family was supposed to stop and stay the night in December of 1978 before going to Vegas to see Uncle Ord and his family. We didn't stop because the reflective surface from all the highway signs had been temporarily removed, so we didn't know when to stop. We kept on driving and had to sleep in the car for a few hours before we decided it wasn't too early to go knock on their door.
I didn't do anything special in Flagstaff. I just found a motel and crashed. I woke up the next morning and drove to Vegas. I would have the time of my life.
More on that tomorrow.
Chez wasn't there, but her stepmother was. Also there were her stepmother's daughter and Kiz' three kids. Her stepmother told me that Chez had moved over to a duplex just down the street. What had happened was that Road was constantly violating a restraining order placed against him by the people who ran the low-income housing community where Chez lived. Because Chez never called the cops whenever he showed up, they just kicked her and Joad out. (Note that Road was constantly threatening to just up and take Joad away from her if she didn't let him in the house and he usually came over with friends, so she really didn't have much of a choice.) However, she and Road were living in this duplex together.
Kiz was also living with Chez and Road, but her father and stepmother had temporary custody of her three kids. What happened was that Kiz and her boyfriend were constantly on Child Protective Services' radar. She said that CPS had a file on them that was three inches thick. She added that the children were constantly being neglected and left alone at the house. One day, the children were REALLY hungry, so the oldest (who was four years old at this point) got a chair, opened the freezer compartment of the refrigerator and pulled out some frozen pizzas. The three children ate these pizzas while they were still frozen. When the boyfriend came home and saw that they had eaten the pizzas, he got angry, took off his belt and started beating the boy.
I drove over to the house where Chez had moved to, but no one was home. I drove to Artesia. I spent time with both my parents. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur, except that Loyd came with a different friend. I was going to spend the night at Mom's house. After she went to bed, I went out and drove to Roswell.
I went to Chez' house and knocked on the door. She asked who it was. "It's Fayd!" She opened the door. Road was asleep on the couch in the living room. Chez said Joad was sleeping in the bedroom. She was watching TV. We sat and talked for about an hour and a half. The whole time, Joad remained asleep. One of the things she told me was that she had started a rose tattoo on her shoulder. There was a blank space on the tattoo for someone's name. She said she was going to put Road's name there. At this point, I figured that was pretty much it, that she had decided to stay with him. I didn't like it, but there wasn't anything I could really do.
I went back to Mom's house. Loyd was laying down on the living room sofa. He woke up as I came in. He told me about this dream he was having in which events just kept repeating over and over. Then he asked me what I was up to. I told him I went to see Chez and that it looked like she was going to stay with him. I then went to bed.
We had Thanksgiving the next day. I don't remember too much about the next couple of days, except that this was the time that Dad was hurt because he felt like we weren't spending enough time with him. When it was apparent he was upset on the phone, Loyd and I rushed over to see him. He gave us a lecture on how he had so much to offer us and he didn't like being neglected like that, even though we spent more time with him than Mom when I was last there four months ago. We just couldn't win.
I decided that since I still had plenty of time left on my vacation, I would drive to Las Vegas and spend some time there. This had not been planned ahead of time. I knew that I would just up and leave Saturday morning, spend the night somewhere in Arizona, drive up Sunday morning and check into a hotel there.
Since I wanted to see Chez and Joad one more time before I left, I drove up to Roswell first. Road was awake this time and appeared to tolerate my presence. Kiz got out of bed while I was there. I hung out for a bit and took a few photos. One of Road's friends came by and they went outside to work on his car. It was during this time that I decided to leave. I asked Chez if I could give her a hug goodbye. She said, "Yeah, Road's not around." While I hugged her, I tried to kiss her on the cheek, but my long hair was in my face and kept my lips from making actual contact with her skin. After the attempted kiss, I whispered to her that I wish it could have been longer. I went outside, waved goodbye to Road and drove off.
As I was driving away, I started crying because I thought that I might never see Chez again. I believed it would be best if I just stayed out of their lives for all eternity.
Next, I drove to Alamogordo to see Kird. He was at his house with his girlfriend. We talked for a little bit. Nothing new had happened since I last saw him. While I drove north through Tularosa, I considered stopping to see Abed before going back to San Diego, but I didn't want to be driving too late into the night before I stopped to sleep. Along the way, I think I stopped in Springerville to get some gas. I remember some teenage boys at the gas station while I was there. It made me think back to my teenage years in Artesia and how growing up in this little town would have probably been a lot worse.
I stopped and spent the night in Flagstaff, AZ. This was the same town my family was supposed to stop and stay the night in December of 1978 before going to Vegas to see Uncle Ord and his family. We didn't stop because the reflective surface from all the highway signs had been temporarily removed, so we didn't know when to stop. We kept on driving and had to sleep in the car for a few hours before we decided it wasn't too early to go knock on their door.
I didn't do anything special in Flagstaff. I just found a motel and crashed. I woke up the next morning and drove to Vegas. I would have the time of my life.
More on that tomorrow.
Monday, March 7, 2016
An unexpected vacation, Part 1
Even though it had just been four months since my last vacation from the Hillcrest Cinemas, I decided to take the week of Thanksgiving off since I couldn't get off for Christmas. (Yeah, I know. In blog time, it was just two weeks ago.)
I'll start this story a couple of weeks before I hit the road to Artesia. I found out that Abed was planning to move back to Tularosa, NM. I asked him if he knew when he was going. He hadn't actually made up his mind. I told him I was going to New Mexico the week of Thanksgiving, and if he wanted to, I could drive him there on my way to Artesia. I even told him he wouldn't have to pay for gas because I was going home anyway. He said he'd think about it, but I could already tell that this was going to solve a lot of problems for him.
In the year that had passed after opening the Hillcrest Cinemas, Abed had started doing poetry readings and performing songs with his guitar.
The week before we were going to leave, Abed was somehow scheduled to work seven days in a row and it was really getting to him. (This was my fault, I was the one in charge of the scheduling.) The Friday before we left, a customer yelled at him about something while he was behind the concession stand making lemonade. At this point, he was fed up with people thinking they were better than him and telling him what to do. He threw the lemon he was squeezing at the customer and asked the woman managing at the time if he could just go ahead and go home. Then (according to her), he leaped over the glass barricade between the box office and the lobby floor, ran out the door into the courtyard and kept running without stopping.
Anz the Manager told me Abed wouldn't be working the Saturday and Sunday shifts I had scheduled him for. This meant we were going to be a little short, personnel-wise, but we'd get through it. In the meantime, we had planned a little midnight madness at the Hillcrest Cinemas to show a couple of movies to Landmark employees. Before the festivities began, Noad, an employee of the Guild Theatre, came over with a couple of friends. One of them was a woman named Colz. Colz was rather cute. We started talking and she seemed to like me. At one point, we all went over to the nearby ARCO AM/PM to buy some alcohol, but the clerk told us they shut of alcohol sales at 11pm. (WHAT?) We walked back to the theatre.
Before the movies started, Abed got to do a performance of his poetry and songs. He had shaved his head completely bald. This would be the first time I would get to see him perform his own material. While he read his poetry and played his songs, Colz asked me who he was. I told him he was one of our employees, but he was going to be going home to New Mexico on Sunday and I would be driving him. I could tell she was becoming more and more fascinated with him while he performed. I could see my chances with Colz quickly dissipating.
After his performance, Colz went up and talked to him. I was hanging out with Abed's father and sister while the conversation was going on. I couldn't hear everything, but it was obvious she was praising what she had seen and heard him do. Abed had a tough time looking her in the eye while she was going on about him. She went downstairs to watch the movie we were showing. Abed father kind of jabbed at him. "Hey, Abed! It looks like you met a girl. It's too bad you're leaving this weekend!" Abed didn't say anything in response, but I could tell he didn't like the idea of leaving when he found someone who was interested in him.
The next day, Abed called me at the theatre to ask for Noad's phone number. He was trying to get a hold of Colz. It turned out he was able to call her and spend the day with her.
After I got off work Sunday night, I went to the apartment where he was staying so that we could load up his stuff and leave. The nice thing was that he brought his stereo with him so we were able to listen to music on the way. (My car didn't have a radio.) He had brought a tape of songs he had written and I brought a tape of the tracks I had written on my keyboard. We stopped in Yuma, AZ to fill up on gas and ate dinner at the Lucky Greek Cafe.
Afterwards, we drove straight to Tuscon and spent the night at a Motel 6. We went out for breakfast the next morning at Waffle House. He had ordered the hash browns "smothered, covered" and whatever else. He got kind of mad because they didn't turn out the way he expected and didn't like how all the past-tense verbs didn't really describe what was happening to the hash browns. After breakfast, we went back to the motel room and listened to music a little before leaving.
I remember how it was raining very heavily most of the way between Tuscon and the New Mexico border. I had to drive slower than normal because I kept getting caught up in the tailwater of the vehicles in front of me. We eventually made it Alamogordo. Before driving Abed up to Tularosa, we stopped by and saw Kird. I was going to be spending a couple of nights with Kird before going to Artesia. After we hung out a little, I drove Abed over to his mother's house and dropped him off. I went back to Alamogordo.
Kird was somewhat in disarray because for the second time in two years, his wife had taken their daughter and left him. He was in the process of moving out of the house they had rented. In the last couple of years, Kird had been working on his music and had helped to create a thriving music scene in the Las Cruces/Alamogordo area. His group and others had enjoyed local success similar to what was going on in large cities in the wake of the Grunge scene. He organized a music festival called "Alamo-looza" and said about 250 people turned up. (That's actually a really good turnout for Alamogordo.)
Because of this, he was kind of living a rock star a few months lifestyle prior to my arrival, but only with regards to sleeping with women who came to his concerts. One of these women turned into a regular girlfriend. I met her the first night there. She was about ten years younger than Kird. She also knew his wife because she was her regular hairdresser at the salon in Walmart.
We were sitting around at his house watching the Rush Limbaugh TV show. This was the point at which he said that he had told his girlfriend about every woman he'd ever slept with. I embarrassed him by naming someone he hadn't told her about.
Kird slept in late the next morning. I ran around Alamogordo and took photos. After I came back, Kird had woken up. A couple of guys from Goodwill came over to pick up his bed and some other belongings that he was donating. Later, some people he knew from the Air Force base dropped by. Kird told them he had talked to a recruiter about re-enlisting because he really didn't have anything else better to do. One of his friends said he would never go back into the military.
Kird decided he wanted to go to Las Cruces that night and asked if Abed wanted to join us. Abed was up for a little adventure that night, so we ran around Las Cruces for a few hours, stopping to see a few people here and there. Then, Kird wanted to see what was showing at the Fountain Theatre in Mesilla. They were showing "Gas Food Lodging," which Abed and I had both seen already, but we thought it was good enough to see again. Kird actually liked it.
After we got back to Alamogordo, we went to Kird's house. Kird was tired and wanted to go to bed. Abed noticed that he had a LOT of music publications and books in the living room, many of which included his favorite artists. We decided to take some photographs with him surrounded by the books, newspapers and magazines. One of the books Kird had was Brian Wilson's "Wouldn't It Be Nice." I would try to sneak the book into the shots, but Abed would get mad and take it out. (He succeeded in the photo at the top of this page.) At the time, Abed didn't think much of Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but because of me, he came to appreciate his genius and went with me to see him on his Pet Sounds tour in 2000. (And yes, I am aware that Brian Wilson has disavowed that autobiography, but at the time, it was the best representation of him that I had available for the photo shoot.)
I drove Abed back to Tularosa and came back to sleep at Kird's. The next morning, I said my goodbyes and drove to Artesia by way of Roswell. That's where the unexpected part of this vacation will come in. I'll go more into detail tomorrow.
A side note to this post: As it turned out, Kird never did re-enlist in the Air Force. His wife and daughter did return to him, and while that lasted a few years, it never was permanent.
Friday, March 4, 2016
The Inquisitive Mind
I realized that it's been a long time since I've done a video based on my Asperger Syndrome experience.
I found that one never really does tire of the pursuit for those tiniest of details.
I found that one never really does tire of the pursuit for those tiniest of details.
Thursday, March 3, 2016
Close Call #3: Rebz
(What's a Close Call? Click here!)
Pretty soon after I had arrived in San Diego, I started the search for a girlfriend. I put in several personal ads in the Reader, but I almost never got any responses. If I did get a response, it almost never panned out into getting to meet someone.
(There was one woman I did get to meet. I won't spend a full article discussing her, but it's a pretty funny story. Her name was Elizabeth. {Yes, her real first name. I'm breaking a rule here, but it's for a very good reason.} She had described herself as having medium-length brown hair. We had arranged to meet at El Torito in Mission Valley. I got there a few minutes early. I saw this woman come in matching the description and she was obviously scanning the room trying to find someone. I approached her. "Are you Elizabeth?" She nodded her head. "Well, I'm Fayd." She then looked at me like, "Am I supposed to know you?" I realized what was going on. "You must not be the Elizabeth I'm supposed to meet." She shook her head. I then went outside. I was trying to figure out if that had really been her and she was lying to me. However the "real" Elizabeth walked up a few minutes later. It just didn't work out.)
I had to change my strategy and start paying to call the 900 number for the Reader personal ads. My phone bills had a tendency to get pretty astronomical.
The biggest problem was that I would respond to a lot of ads every week, but I would get very few phone calls back. Sometimes, I would get calls from women playing "personal ad roulette." They'd ask a couple of questions and if I answered in a way not to their liking, they would hang up the phone. I wound up hoping these women would get emotionally abused by whomever they declared the "winner." Sometimes, I would have rather lengthy conversations that seemed to go pretty well, but they wouldn't call back again.
Because responding to ads was costing too much, I decided to change my strategy. I would closely read the ads and just pick a couple to respond to. This particular time in October of 1992, I only left messages for two. Both of them called me back. One left a message on my machine, but never called again. The other called while I was at home and I actually succeeded in meeting her and going on a few dates with her. Her name was Rebz.
She was 23 years old and lived in Ocean Beach. She had a degree in Theatre. She typically worked in the costume departments of various productions. She had worked at the Old Globe Theatre in Balboa Park and had worked in other cities. Her income was dependent on her being able to find a project at any given time, but she never seemed to have a problem.
During our conversation, she determined I was one of those people who liked to wear black all the time. I got the idea she thought I was Goth, but I wasn't. I just liked to wear black clothing.
Since I had told her I had never set foot on the beach, she invited me to come meet her at Ocean Beach. I went over and I recognized her right away from her description. She wore a black shirt and jean shorts. She had blonde hair and was very attractive, but not so attractive that I felt like she was out of my league. She had me take off my shoes and socks so I could get my feet wet. I complied and screamed when the cold water rushed onto my feet. She thought it was funny.
We arranged to go out again over the weekend. We went walking around Cabrillo Point. We discussed the current Presidential race and how we both admired Bill Clinton. While I still wasn't going to vote for him (or George HW Bush or Ross Perot), I still hoped he would win. (An interesting side note: In 1988, when Bill Clinton became known for giving a lengthy introduction to Michael Dukakis at the DNC that year, he appeared on Johnny Carson and played his saxophone. It was one of the few instances in which I was able to see into the future. I knew that in four years, he would be the next President of the United States. It's too bad that kind of premonition doesn't happen to me more regularly.)
I remember going back to her apartment that day. She lived with a couple of male roommates and I met one of them. She made us something to drink and we hung out in her room awhile, but nothing happened. We made plans to go to a movie.
We wound up going to see the "Director's Cut" of "Blade Runner" at the Park Theatre. I remember the night we went, we had to park about two blocks away. I also remember seeing someone's car with a flashing red light inside and joking about trying to make the car alarm go off. It didn't happen. I drove her back to the apartment and that was basically the end of the date.
Our next date was to see "1492: Conquest of Paradise." I'm not certain, but we may have been the only two people in the theatre. Neither one of us had seen the other Christopher Columbus movie that was released earlier that year, but Rebz commented that the actor probably wasn't as sexy as Gerard Depardieu.
As were were walking from the theatre out to my car, I started holding her hand. She seemed to be okay with it. However, when we were driving to her apartment, she stayed silent the whole time. I tried to get her to tell me what was on her mind, but all she would say was, "Nothing."
Not long after that date, she called me and told me she was going to be working a temporary costuming job in Chicago. She would be leaving within the next week and was going to be gone about a month. I told her it was okay and to let me know when she got back.
Figuring there was a chance I might be able to see her again before she left, I noticed that a drive-in was showing "Thelma & Louise." Since our first two movie dates consisted of seeing films directed by Ridley Scott, I called and left a message suggesting that we make it "three in a row." She later called me back and said she didn't think she was going to have time for that. I told her I was kidding and that I would see her when she got back from Chicago.
I didn't realize it, but that would be the last time I would talk to her. She never did try to call me back after she'd returned.
In February of 1993, I was driving through Ocean Beach. I saw her walking down the street. Because of a certain life-changing situation at the time, I did not try to get her attention. While I had changed my phone number since she went to Chicago, she wouldn't have been able to call me at home. However, she knew where I worked, so she could have easily called me there. I just don't know if she even tried. It would have been nice to know that she liked me well enough to get back in touch with me.
Her real name is VERY common, so I have been unable to locate her on-line. It's too bad. I'd like to know what happened to her.
(There was one woman I did get to meet. I won't spend a full article discussing her, but it's a pretty funny story. Her name was Elizabeth. {Yes, her real first name. I'm breaking a rule here, but it's for a very good reason.} She had described herself as having medium-length brown hair. We had arranged to meet at El Torito in Mission Valley. I got there a few minutes early. I saw this woman come in matching the description and she was obviously scanning the room trying to find someone. I approached her. "Are you Elizabeth?" She nodded her head. "Well, I'm Fayd." She then looked at me like, "Am I supposed to know you?" I realized what was going on. "You must not be the Elizabeth I'm supposed to meet." She shook her head. I then went outside. I was trying to figure out if that had really been her and she was lying to me. However the "real" Elizabeth walked up a few minutes later. It just didn't work out.)
I had to change my strategy and start paying to call the 900 number for the Reader personal ads. My phone bills had a tendency to get pretty astronomical.
The biggest problem was that I would respond to a lot of ads every week, but I would get very few phone calls back. Sometimes, I would get calls from women playing "personal ad roulette." They'd ask a couple of questions and if I answered in a way not to their liking, they would hang up the phone. I wound up hoping these women would get emotionally abused by whomever they declared the "winner." Sometimes, I would have rather lengthy conversations that seemed to go pretty well, but they wouldn't call back again.
Because responding to ads was costing too much, I decided to change my strategy. I would closely read the ads and just pick a couple to respond to. This particular time in October of 1992, I only left messages for two. Both of them called me back. One left a message on my machine, but never called again. The other called while I was at home and I actually succeeded in meeting her and going on a few dates with her. Her name was Rebz.
She was 23 years old and lived in Ocean Beach. She had a degree in Theatre. She typically worked in the costume departments of various productions. She had worked at the Old Globe Theatre in Balboa Park and had worked in other cities. Her income was dependent on her being able to find a project at any given time, but she never seemed to have a problem.
During our conversation, she determined I was one of those people who liked to wear black all the time. I got the idea she thought I was Goth, but I wasn't. I just liked to wear black clothing.
Since I had told her I had never set foot on the beach, she invited me to come meet her at Ocean Beach. I went over and I recognized her right away from her description. She wore a black shirt and jean shorts. She had blonde hair and was very attractive, but not so attractive that I felt like she was out of my league. She had me take off my shoes and socks so I could get my feet wet. I complied and screamed when the cold water rushed onto my feet. She thought it was funny.
We arranged to go out again over the weekend. We went walking around Cabrillo Point. We discussed the current Presidential race and how we both admired Bill Clinton. While I still wasn't going to vote for him (or George HW Bush or Ross Perot), I still hoped he would win. (An interesting side note: In 1988, when Bill Clinton became known for giving a lengthy introduction to Michael Dukakis at the DNC that year, he appeared on Johnny Carson and played his saxophone. It was one of the few instances in which I was able to see into the future. I knew that in four years, he would be the next President of the United States. It's too bad that kind of premonition doesn't happen to me more regularly.)
I remember going back to her apartment that day. She lived with a couple of male roommates and I met one of them. She made us something to drink and we hung out in her room awhile, but nothing happened. We made plans to go to a movie.
We wound up going to see the "Director's Cut" of "Blade Runner" at the Park Theatre. I remember the night we went, we had to park about two blocks away. I also remember seeing someone's car with a flashing red light inside and joking about trying to make the car alarm go off. It didn't happen. I drove her back to the apartment and that was basically the end of the date.
Our next date was to see "1492: Conquest of Paradise." I'm not certain, but we may have been the only two people in the theatre. Neither one of us had seen the other Christopher Columbus movie that was released earlier that year, but Rebz commented that the actor probably wasn't as sexy as Gerard Depardieu.
As were were walking from the theatre out to my car, I started holding her hand. She seemed to be okay with it. However, when we were driving to her apartment, she stayed silent the whole time. I tried to get her to tell me what was on her mind, but all she would say was, "Nothing."
Not long after that date, she called me and told me she was going to be working a temporary costuming job in Chicago. She would be leaving within the next week and was going to be gone about a month. I told her it was okay and to let me know when she got back.
Figuring there was a chance I might be able to see her again before she left, I noticed that a drive-in was showing "Thelma & Louise." Since our first two movie dates consisted of seeing films directed by Ridley Scott, I called and left a message suggesting that we make it "three in a row." She later called me back and said she didn't think she was going to have time for that. I told her I was kidding and that I would see her when she got back from Chicago.
I didn't realize it, but that would be the last time I would talk to her. She never did try to call me back after she'd returned.
In February of 1993, I was driving through Ocean Beach. I saw her walking down the street. Because of a certain life-changing situation at the time, I did not try to get her attention. While I had changed my phone number since she went to Chicago, she wouldn't have been able to call me at home. However, she knew where I worked, so she could have easily called me there. I just don't know if she even tried. It would have been nice to know that she liked me well enough to get back in touch with me.
Her real name is VERY common, so I have been unable to locate her on-line. It's too bad. I'd like to know what happened to her.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Girlfriend #5: Priz, Part 2
I continued to have intermittent contact with Priz after she broke up with me. One time, she came to the Hillcrest Cinemas with Ard to see Lyd. I was putting up the new movie posters outside. When they were leaving, they walked by me. Priz said, "Oh, boy, that looks like a fun job!" That did not make me laugh. I wondered why she even bothered to say anything to me.
The stupid thing was that I still wanted her to be my girlfriend. So I took some action. I decided to write a song about her and record it. I had composed a few tracks in the last several weeks on my keyboard. I figured out which one I wanted to use to write lyrics about her. The song questioned why she started up with all the kissing and attempts at sexual activity if she was under the impression that I was going to eventually dump her for someone else, which was what her previous boyfriend had done.
After I had completed this, I contacted the husband of one of our employees to get him to record the song on his four-track cassette recorder. He was a local singer-songwriter and I figured he would be able to sing it, since I had little confidence in my abilities as a lead vocalist. He came to my apartment and brought the recorder, but he didn't bring a microphone. I remembered how headphones can be used as microphones, so I plugged mine into the mic input. This actually worked.
He was having trouble trying to sing the song. (I just presented him the song on the spot.) He asked me to sing it so he could hear how it was supposed to go. I sang it and he said I sang well enough that I should just go ahead and sing it myself. So that's what I did. We then copied the song onto a few cassette tapes and he left.
One night, I went by Ard's house and found Priz' pickup outside. I put the cassette under the windshield wiper on the driver's side and quickly drove off. I didn't know what was going to happen next.
I didn't hear anything right away. A couple of weeks later, Landmark had its employee Christmas party at the Park Theatre. I suddenly heard someone behind me. "Hey, Fayd!" I turned around. It was Priz. Lyd had apparently invited her to the party. "I got your tape. I was driving home when I saw something stuck on my windshield and thought, 'Is that a cassette?' But I was so tired when I was driving home that I just went straight to bed and left the tape on the car all night long."
She said she liked the song, but I don't think she actually grasped the points I was getting at. She said she was sorry for the way she treated me, that she was really getting back at her ex-boyfriend by starting something up with me. She was also sorry for how she acted that time she and Ard came by the theatre when I was putting up the posters.
But in the past two weeks, I'd had a major change in my life that meant I was no longer looking for a girlfriend. I told her what happened and I could see the glimmer of hope slowly disappear from her face. If she was coming to me with the possibility that we might be able to get back together, she had realized that the chances of that happening were zero.
Sometime after I'd discarded that change in my life and gotten fired from the Hillcrest Cinemas, I contacted Priz because I was going to do a self-published cassette release that included the song I had written about her. I wanted to give her a copy. She was working as a Shift Manager for Jack in the Box. She had previously worked at Carl's Jr. She had also experienced some severe health issues that had affected her for more than a year. It was around this time that she admitted she was a lesbian. I told her this didn't really surprise me very much, seeing as how her best friend was a lesbian. "What? Oh, no! Ard's not a lesbian!" "But you told me..." "No! She is NOT a lesbian!" (Honestly, if you ever saw Ard during this period, the first thought that would have crossed your mind was "This woman is a lesbian!") Later, it turned out that Ard actually came out. I don't know if Priz was lying to me when I mentioned that, because there was really no reason to deny it. I'll never know.
I haven't had any contact with Priz since I left San Diego. I found her on Facebook. Her relationship status states that she's married. Even though her profile shows she now lives in San Luis Obispo, CA, she appears to live in Shendon, CA with her spouse. She's still Facebook friends with Ard, but not with Lyd. (Oddly enough, Ard and Lyd are friends on Facebook.)
I guess I should be thankful that we didn't get back together because the inevitable breakup would have been so much worse the second time around. I should also note that even though I will refer to that major change in my life around December of 1993 was the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, it did keep me from experiencing this devastation.
The stupid thing was that I still wanted her to be my girlfriend. So I took some action. I decided to write a song about her and record it. I had composed a few tracks in the last several weeks on my keyboard. I figured out which one I wanted to use to write lyrics about her. The song questioned why she started up with all the kissing and attempts at sexual activity if she was under the impression that I was going to eventually dump her for someone else, which was what her previous boyfriend had done.
After I had completed this, I contacted the husband of one of our employees to get him to record the song on his four-track cassette recorder. He was a local singer-songwriter and I figured he would be able to sing it, since I had little confidence in my abilities as a lead vocalist. He came to my apartment and brought the recorder, but he didn't bring a microphone. I remembered how headphones can be used as microphones, so I plugged mine into the mic input. This actually worked.
He was having trouble trying to sing the song. (I just presented him the song on the spot.) He asked me to sing it so he could hear how it was supposed to go. I sang it and he said I sang well enough that I should just go ahead and sing it myself. So that's what I did. We then copied the song onto a few cassette tapes and he left.
One night, I went by Ard's house and found Priz' pickup outside. I put the cassette under the windshield wiper on the driver's side and quickly drove off. I didn't know what was going to happen next.
I didn't hear anything right away. A couple of weeks later, Landmark had its employee Christmas party at the Park Theatre. I suddenly heard someone behind me. "Hey, Fayd!" I turned around. It was Priz. Lyd had apparently invited her to the party. "I got your tape. I was driving home when I saw something stuck on my windshield and thought, 'Is that a cassette?' But I was so tired when I was driving home that I just went straight to bed and left the tape on the car all night long."
She said she liked the song, but I don't think she actually grasped the points I was getting at. She said she was sorry for the way she treated me, that she was really getting back at her ex-boyfriend by starting something up with me. She was also sorry for how she acted that time she and Ard came by the theatre when I was putting up the posters.
But in the past two weeks, I'd had a major change in my life that meant I was no longer looking for a girlfriend. I told her what happened and I could see the glimmer of hope slowly disappear from her face. If she was coming to me with the possibility that we might be able to get back together, she had realized that the chances of that happening were zero.
Sometime after I'd discarded that change in my life and gotten fired from the Hillcrest Cinemas, I contacted Priz because I was going to do a self-published cassette release that included the song I had written about her. I wanted to give her a copy. She was working as a Shift Manager for Jack in the Box. She had previously worked at Carl's Jr. She had also experienced some severe health issues that had affected her for more than a year. It was around this time that she admitted she was a lesbian. I told her this didn't really surprise me very much, seeing as how her best friend was a lesbian. "What? Oh, no! Ard's not a lesbian!" "But you told me..." "No! She is NOT a lesbian!" (Honestly, if you ever saw Ard during this period, the first thought that would have crossed your mind was "This woman is a lesbian!") Later, it turned out that Ard actually came out. I don't know if Priz was lying to me when I mentioned that, because there was really no reason to deny it. I'll never know.
I haven't had any contact with Priz since I left San Diego. I found her on Facebook. Her relationship status states that she's married. Even though her profile shows she now lives in San Luis Obispo, CA, she appears to live in Shendon, CA with her spouse. She's still Facebook friends with Ard, but not with Lyd. (Oddly enough, Ard and Lyd are friends on Facebook.)
I guess I should be thankful that we didn't get back together because the inevitable breakup would have been so much worse the second time around. I should also note that even though I will refer to that major change in my life around December of 1993 was the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, it did keep me from experiencing this devastation.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
Girlfriend #5: Priz, Part 1
I met Priz a few times in 1992. She was a good friend of Lyd, our Chief of Staff. She would come over and see her at the Hillcrest Cinemas. Sometimes we would talk to each other if Lyd was a little busy. I knew that I thought she was cute, even if she was a little overweight. She was rather funny and could usually make me laugh.
In August of 1992, she came to the theatre, saw me and said, "Hi, sexy!" This stunned me. I hadn't considered the thought that she might find me attractive. I began to wonder about my chances of going out with her. So, I did something I never thought I would do: get a third party involved. When Lyd and I were alone in the Manager's office one day, I asked her if she knew if Priz liked me. She said that Priz would sometimes ask about me. "Were you interested in going out with her?" I nodded my head. "Okay, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks." I told her thanks.
The next day, Priz called me at the theatre. "I understand you want to go out?" I told her I was interested in getting to know her better and we made arrangements to go out on one of my nights off. I thought it would be a good idea to get something to eat. I chose the Italian restaurant I ate at when I first met Ved and Anz. Priz said she would come by my apartment and pick me up. She was living with her father at the time and wasn't ready for me to meet him. I didn't have a problem with that.
While I was waiting for her, I was doing stuff on my keyboard. She arrived pretty much on time. Before she got to my front door, she came across a cat that was hanging around my front door. I could hear her say, "Hey, kitty kitty." I met her at the door. She asked if it was my cat. I told her I couldn't have any pets. She came inside and immediately commented on the size of the apartment. We walked out to her vehicle. She said, "Now, just because I drive a pickup doesn't mean I'm a dyke!" I was not aware of that stereotype at the time.
We then left and went to the restaurant. We both ordered individual pizzas. During our conversation, we got into past relationships. (Yeah, I know. You're not supposed to talk about this on a first date.) I told her I went eight years between girlfriends. Then she said, "Wait a minute! How old are you?" I told her I was 27 and about to turn 28 in the next month. "Okay, that's not too bad. I'm 23." But we didn't spend much time after that talking about our exes. She told me about her friend Ard, whom she and Lyd hung around with on a regular basis. She said that she had suspected Ard was a lesbian and that she and Lyd tried to get Ard to come out by pretending they were kissing each other. Somehow, that didn't work.
We took the leftovers and went back to my apartment. I told her that I had moved in so recently, that I hadn't even put anything in the refrigerator yet. She said, "Well, let me be the one to break that cherry," as she put the leftover pizza inside. (I never ate that pizza. It had onions on it!) She then asked if I wanted to go see the roller coaster at Mission Beach. I said sure and we went back out to the pickup and drove off. We arrived at Belmont Park a few minutes later. I was surprised that this little amusement park with a wooden roller coaster was there. I had done very little driving around since I moved to San Diego. It wasn't like how I did a lot of running all over the place in Denver my first year there. (However, that's also because I didn't need to look for a job once I got to San Diego.)
We got on the roller coaster and it was a thrilling two-minute ride. Afterward we started walking around the park. At this point, Priz started holding my hand. I was a little shocked by this, but ran with it. I was glad to be having as good a time as this on a first date. We went on the roller coaster one more time before we left. It was probably more fun the second time, because I put my arm around her.
She drove me back to my apartment to drop me off. Before I got out of the pickup, she signaled by putting her fingers up to her lips. I gave her a quick peck. She put her fingers up to her lips again and I gave her another quick peck. Then we started holding each other and kissing more passionately. We didn't do anything more. I told her I had a really good time and I would be calling her again. I was really happy that she became my girlfriend that quickly.
I called her a couple of days later. She asked if I wanted to go hang out in Balboa Park on Saturday. Again, she came by and picked me up. We went to the park and walked all over the place. At one point we were on a grassy area. She said, "I'll bet I can toss you over my back." "I'd like to see you try!" Sure enough, she was able to grab me and toss me over her back. That was kind of freaky. After we'd had enough of the park, she said we should get something to eat. She suggested "Jack in the Crack." This was the first time I'd ever heard anyone refer to Jack in the Box by that name, but I guess it was pretty common, because about a year later, they also did that in the film "Menace II Society."
We got the hamburgers and went back to my apartment. After we were done eating, we started making out. It was getting really intense. And then she tried to get me to do something of a sexual nature, but I resisted her trying to put my hand in a certain area on her body. She stopped what she was doing and asked what was going on. That's when I had to tell her I was a virgin and that I wasn't quite ready for that. She seemed to understand and we went back to making out. Before she left, she started giving me hickeys. I said, "No, don't! I have to work! I can't go to work with hickeys!" But she wouldn't stop. When she finished, she said, "Now, everybody knows you're mine!" She had to leave and I had to get ready for work. We made tentative plans to see movie the next week.
When I got dressed for work, my collar didn't quite cover up one of the hickeys. I hoped none of the employees would notice. The entire evening, no one said anything. Later, when we were alone in the office, Anz asked, "Fayd, are those hickeys?" "I tried to get her to stop, Anz, but she wouldn't! I thought no one could see it, because I was expecting all sorts of catcalls from the staff." "Well, you know what they say: A moment on the lips, a lifetime on your neck. Make sure that clears up soon."
She had called and left a message on my machine to call her at Ard's house so we could set up our next date. I did that and we decided to go see "Unforgiven." This time, I was going to drive to Ard's house, park the car and she was going to drive us over to her house. (Her father wasn't going to be home.) We went over there, but she still needed to take a shower. After she got out, we made out a little bit before heading to the theater. We were cutting it really close. (I'm really particular about showing up on time for a movie.) Instead of getting on the highway, she took a frontage road. She swore it was going to be faster. When we passed the time the movie was supposed to start, she said, "Oh, I guess we should have taken the highway!" YES! WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE HIGHWAY!
We did get there late and missed the first 15 minutes of the movie. However, we still enjoyed it. I had to get to work, so we drove back to Ard's house and I went straight home.
A couple of days later, I tried to call her at her house. Her father picked up the phone and said she was at Ard's. So I called Ard's number. Priz picked up the phone. I said, "Hi, Priz! This is Fayd!" "Uh, Fayd? You're not supposed to be calling me here." "But..." "This isn't my house and this isn't my phone. I can't have you calling me when I'm over here. Now, don't do this again!" And she hung up the phone.
My first thought was "S***! I just blew it!" But after awhile, I started thinking about what transpired and a lot of stuff didn't make sense. Namely, that she had given me the phone number to Ard's house to call her before. And if she didn't want to talk on the phone at Ard's house, why did she pick up the phone? I sure didn't want the relationship to end this quickly, but if she was going to act this way because I made a phone call that I ASSUMED I was permitted to make, maybe we didn't need to be in a relationship. I decided to not call her again and see if I would hear from her.
Believe it or not, she actually called me. I was working at the Hillcrest Cinemas when we had about five different crises happening at once. I had gone up to the Manager's office to get some cash. While I was there, the phone rang. I picked it up and it was Priz. "Hey, Fayd! How's it going?" I was just a little too frazzled at the time. I told her I had some stuff to take care of, then I would get back on the phone. It took me 10 minutes to put out all the fires and I was able to return to the Manager's office and talk to her. Priz was still on the line. "Hey, Fayd! I was wondering if you wanted to go out again." "Uh, sure, I'd like to do that. I'm going to the Ken Cinema Wednesday night to see 'Tommy" and 'Quadrophenia' if you want to do that." "Yeah, we can do that. What time do you want me to pick you up?" "Come by about 6:00." "Okay, I'll be there. Oh, and we'll also have to make plans for your birthday!"
Okay, so things were looking up in this relationship. She appeared to have forgiven me for "invading her privacy." But I wish I had known what was going to happen next. If I hadn't been so desperate to have a girlfriend, I would have told her, "You're not supposed to call me at work!" and hung up the phone. That would have been better than what eventually happened.
Wednesday night rolled around. 6pm came and went. I got tired of waiting after 15 minutes. I got in the car and drove over to Ard's house. Priz was outside. From my car, I yelled, "Priz!" She turned around. "Did you forget something?" "Were we supposed to go out tonight?" "Yes." "No, I never confirmed that!" (Yes, you did!) She came up to car. "I guess we need to talk. I just get the idea that you're probably more interested in dating other women." "No, I'm not." "Well, this just isn't working out. So, y'know, good luck with whatever."
I left even more bewildered than after I called her at Ard's house. (I'm actually surprised she didn't give me a dressing down for driving by.) What was she talking about? What gave her the impression I would rather see other women? I kind of came to the conclusion that maybe she didn't like that we weren't on the fast track to a a sexual relationship. But if she had a problem with that, she could have just told me. I really liked her, but I hadn't gotten to the point that I thought she would be the person I would lose my virginity to. Maybe that's what she meant. I would actually never find out.
Afterwards, I realized that, in this relationship, I felt like the girl. I mean, she was the one who made the moves. She was always driving me around. She was controlling the direction of the relationship. If I hadn't been the one who paid for everything, I would have been completely emasculated by her. It was a good thing this didn't last long. As it turns out, she would be the only girlfriend I had to whom I never said "I love you." She sure the heck didn't say it to me.
But just because the relationship came to an end, my contact with her didn't. More on that tomorrow.
In August of 1992, she came to the theatre, saw me and said, "Hi, sexy!" This stunned me. I hadn't considered the thought that she might find me attractive. I began to wonder about my chances of going out with her. So, I did something I never thought I would do: get a third party involved. When Lyd and I were alone in the Manager's office one day, I asked her if she knew if Priz liked me. She said that Priz would sometimes ask about me. "Were you interested in going out with her?" I nodded my head. "Okay, I'll talk to her and see what she thinks." I told her thanks.
The next day, Priz called me at the theatre. "I understand you want to go out?" I told her I was interested in getting to know her better and we made arrangements to go out on one of my nights off. I thought it would be a good idea to get something to eat. I chose the Italian restaurant I ate at when I first met Ved and Anz. Priz said she would come by my apartment and pick me up. She was living with her father at the time and wasn't ready for me to meet him. I didn't have a problem with that.
While I was waiting for her, I was doing stuff on my keyboard. She arrived pretty much on time. Before she got to my front door, she came across a cat that was hanging around my front door. I could hear her say, "Hey, kitty kitty." I met her at the door. She asked if it was my cat. I told her I couldn't have any pets. She came inside and immediately commented on the size of the apartment. We walked out to her vehicle. She said, "Now, just because I drive a pickup doesn't mean I'm a dyke!" I was not aware of that stereotype at the time.
We then left and went to the restaurant. We both ordered individual pizzas. During our conversation, we got into past relationships. (Yeah, I know. You're not supposed to talk about this on a first date.) I told her I went eight years between girlfriends. Then she said, "Wait a minute! How old are you?" I told her I was 27 and about to turn 28 in the next month. "Okay, that's not too bad. I'm 23." But we didn't spend much time after that talking about our exes. She told me about her friend Ard, whom she and Lyd hung around with on a regular basis. She said that she had suspected Ard was a lesbian and that she and Lyd tried to get Ard to come out by pretending they were kissing each other. Somehow, that didn't work.
We took the leftovers and went back to my apartment. I told her that I had moved in so recently, that I hadn't even put anything in the refrigerator yet. She said, "Well, let me be the one to break that cherry," as she put the leftover pizza inside. (I never ate that pizza. It had onions on it!) She then asked if I wanted to go see the roller coaster at Mission Beach. I said sure and we went back out to the pickup and drove off. We arrived at Belmont Park a few minutes later. I was surprised that this little amusement park with a wooden roller coaster was there. I had done very little driving around since I moved to San Diego. It wasn't like how I did a lot of running all over the place in Denver my first year there. (However, that's also because I didn't need to look for a job once I got to San Diego.)
We got on the roller coaster and it was a thrilling two-minute ride. Afterward we started walking around the park. At this point, Priz started holding my hand. I was a little shocked by this, but ran with it. I was glad to be having as good a time as this on a first date. We went on the roller coaster one more time before we left. It was probably more fun the second time, because I put my arm around her.
She drove me back to my apartment to drop me off. Before I got out of the pickup, she signaled by putting her fingers up to her lips. I gave her a quick peck. She put her fingers up to her lips again and I gave her another quick peck. Then we started holding each other and kissing more passionately. We didn't do anything more. I told her I had a really good time and I would be calling her again. I was really happy that she became my girlfriend that quickly.
I called her a couple of days later. She asked if I wanted to go hang out in Balboa Park on Saturday. Again, she came by and picked me up. We went to the park and walked all over the place. At one point we were on a grassy area. She said, "I'll bet I can toss you over my back." "I'd like to see you try!" Sure enough, she was able to grab me and toss me over her back. That was kind of freaky. After we'd had enough of the park, she said we should get something to eat. She suggested "Jack in the Crack." This was the first time I'd ever heard anyone refer to Jack in the Box by that name, but I guess it was pretty common, because about a year later, they also did that in the film "Menace II Society."
We got the hamburgers and went back to my apartment. After we were done eating, we started making out. It was getting really intense. And then she tried to get me to do something of a sexual nature, but I resisted her trying to put my hand in a certain area on her body. She stopped what she was doing and asked what was going on. That's when I had to tell her I was a virgin and that I wasn't quite ready for that. She seemed to understand and we went back to making out. Before she left, she started giving me hickeys. I said, "No, don't! I have to work! I can't go to work with hickeys!" But she wouldn't stop. When she finished, she said, "Now, everybody knows you're mine!" She had to leave and I had to get ready for work. We made tentative plans to see movie the next week.
When I got dressed for work, my collar didn't quite cover up one of the hickeys. I hoped none of the employees would notice. The entire evening, no one said anything. Later, when we were alone in the office, Anz asked, "Fayd, are those hickeys?" "I tried to get her to stop, Anz, but she wouldn't! I thought no one could see it, because I was expecting all sorts of catcalls from the staff." "Well, you know what they say: A moment on the lips, a lifetime on your neck. Make sure that clears up soon."
She had called and left a message on my machine to call her at Ard's house so we could set up our next date. I did that and we decided to go see "Unforgiven." This time, I was going to drive to Ard's house, park the car and she was going to drive us over to her house. (Her father wasn't going to be home.) We went over there, but she still needed to take a shower. After she got out, we made out a little bit before heading to the theater. We were cutting it really close. (I'm really particular about showing up on time for a movie.) Instead of getting on the highway, she took a frontage road. She swore it was going to be faster. When we passed the time the movie was supposed to start, she said, "Oh, I guess we should have taken the highway!" YES! WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE HIGHWAY!
We did get there late and missed the first 15 minutes of the movie. However, we still enjoyed it. I had to get to work, so we drove back to Ard's house and I went straight home.
A couple of days later, I tried to call her at her house. Her father picked up the phone and said she was at Ard's. So I called Ard's number. Priz picked up the phone. I said, "Hi, Priz! This is Fayd!" "Uh, Fayd? You're not supposed to be calling me here." "But..." "This isn't my house and this isn't my phone. I can't have you calling me when I'm over here. Now, don't do this again!" And she hung up the phone.
My first thought was "S***! I just blew it!" But after awhile, I started thinking about what transpired and a lot of stuff didn't make sense. Namely, that she had given me the phone number to Ard's house to call her before. And if she didn't want to talk on the phone at Ard's house, why did she pick up the phone? I sure didn't want the relationship to end this quickly, but if she was going to act this way because I made a phone call that I ASSUMED I was permitted to make, maybe we didn't need to be in a relationship. I decided to not call her again and see if I would hear from her.
Believe it or not, she actually called me. I was working at the Hillcrest Cinemas when we had about five different crises happening at once. I had gone up to the Manager's office to get some cash. While I was there, the phone rang. I picked it up and it was Priz. "Hey, Fayd! How's it going?" I was just a little too frazzled at the time. I told her I had some stuff to take care of, then I would get back on the phone. It took me 10 minutes to put out all the fires and I was able to return to the Manager's office and talk to her. Priz was still on the line. "Hey, Fayd! I was wondering if you wanted to go out again." "Uh, sure, I'd like to do that. I'm going to the Ken Cinema Wednesday night to see 'Tommy" and 'Quadrophenia' if you want to do that." "Yeah, we can do that. What time do you want me to pick you up?" "Come by about 6:00." "Okay, I'll be there. Oh, and we'll also have to make plans for your birthday!"
Okay, so things were looking up in this relationship. She appeared to have forgiven me for "invading her privacy." But I wish I had known what was going to happen next. If I hadn't been so desperate to have a girlfriend, I would have told her, "You're not supposed to call me at work!" and hung up the phone. That would have been better than what eventually happened.
Wednesday night rolled around. 6pm came and went. I got tired of waiting after 15 minutes. I got in the car and drove over to Ard's house. Priz was outside. From my car, I yelled, "Priz!" She turned around. "Did you forget something?" "Were we supposed to go out tonight?" "Yes." "No, I never confirmed that!" (Yes, you did!) She came up to car. "I guess we need to talk. I just get the idea that you're probably more interested in dating other women." "No, I'm not." "Well, this just isn't working out. So, y'know, good luck with whatever."
I left even more bewildered than after I called her at Ard's house. (I'm actually surprised she didn't give me a dressing down for driving by.) What was she talking about? What gave her the impression I would rather see other women? I kind of came to the conclusion that maybe she didn't like that we weren't on the fast track to a a sexual relationship. But if she had a problem with that, she could have just told me. I really liked her, but I hadn't gotten to the point that I thought she would be the person I would lose my virginity to. Maybe that's what she meant. I would actually never find out.
Afterwards, I realized that, in this relationship, I felt like the girl. I mean, she was the one who made the moves. She was always driving me around. She was controlling the direction of the relationship. If I hadn't been the one who paid for everything, I would have been completely emasculated by her. It was a good thing this didn't last long. As it turns out, she would be the only girlfriend I had to whom I never said "I love you." She sure the heck didn't say it to me.
But just because the relationship came to an end, my contact with her didn't. More on that tomorrow.
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