You would think that with all the drama and the buildup surrounding Chez being in love with me (here, here, here, here, here, here and here), that she would have been excited to finally have us get to be boyfriend/girlfriend. I was certainly anticipating that. But I apparently hadn't learned my lesson that things don't always go the way I expect with Chez.
After I wasn't able to stop down in Roswell on the way from Denver to Artesia before Christmas, I would be able to see her on my way back up because I would be driving a different vehicle. We were able to arrange to meet at Job Corps. She wouldn't be in class that day. She had to give pretty specific directions on how to get to the Job Corps campus. (It was very easy to get lost around the old Air Force base there.)
I followed the directions and was able to find the administrative office. I went in and told them I was there to visit Chez. They said they would call for her to come to the office. I just had to wait for her. I saw her outside walking toward the building. I hadn't seen her in almost 2 1/2 years. She still looked pretty much the same. I went outside and peeked from behind a barricade. She looked really happy to see me. I went up, hugged her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. That was the first time I got to kiss her.
She had to go into the office to get permission to leave the premises, which wasn't really a problem. We went out to my car in the parking lot and held hands as we walked. We got in the car and started passionately kissing each other for a few seconds. Then, Chez said she didn't want the people in the office to see us, so we had to stop. Chez said she was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's for breakfast.
After we ate, we went over to a video arcade that she liked to frequent. We played a few video games. She had a rapport with the arcade owner, who spoke through one of those throat voice boxes. She talked to him for a little bit.
But the whole time, she didn't seem to enjoy being with me. I guess it was because I was only going to be there for a few hours before I had to go back to Denver. She probably felt she had no choice but to emotionally detach herself from me. Anytime we kissed, it felt like she was just letting it happen instead of trying to return the affection.
Then, we went to a park and walked around. This was the point at which we discussed our future. Chez said she wanted to complete Job Corps and get her high school diploma. After that, she didn't know what she wanted to do. She wasn't sure if she wanted to come up to Denver to be with me. She was afraid I was going to hurt her again. I told her I wasn't, but she didn't believe me. I couldn't blame her for thinking that. Another issue was that she was starting to feel like Roswell was her home and she didn't think she could live anywhere else, especially in a large city where she would feel out of place.
I took her back to Job Corps. We hugged, kissed and said goodbye. Neither one of us knew when we would see each other again.
We continued to keep in contact on the phone for the next few weeks. But one day, Chez said I was likely never going to hear from her again. She did not give an explanation.
It was kind of disappointing. This meant that our actual relationship only lasted a few hours. I couldn't get mad about it because of what I had done to her before, but it was still a major letdown. I felt that if I couldn't get someone who loved me as much as she did to want to be with me, what chance did I have with anybody else? All I could see before me was a lonely future.
But as usual, this was not the end of our story. Another chapter will be coming in the near future.
No comments:
Post a Comment