In May of 1991, I was sitting at home reading the paper. Suddenly, the phone rang. I picked it up. It was a collect call from Chez. I hadn't heard from her since she told me she wasn't ever going to contact me again just a few months earlier.
I asked her why she decided to call me again. She told me she had something to tell me. She was pregnant. WHAT? (A little note for those who do not wish to click back through her entire history on this blog: Chez was raped by her half-brother when she was 14 years old. She was severely injured in the assault and told by a doctor that she'd never be able to have children. This was the first thought that entered my head when she told me she was pregnant.)
After the shocked silence that followed the announcement, I asked her what happened. She told me she was at a party. She had been drinking and smoking marijuana. Then, she wound up having sex with this guy she knew named Road. She didn't know why she decided to tell me, but she thought I'd like to know.
She told me that she didn't love Road and didn't want to be with him, but she did want to keep the baby if she was indeed able to deliver. However, she said she also didn't want to be with me and had no plans to leave Roswell. On the other hand, she still had feelings for me, but she didn't know what to do about that. she said she would continue to stay in contact with me and we would remain friends, but it seem didn't like there would ever be any kind of a future for us once the baby arrived.
So now, I really didn't know why she called me. I made no offer to help her out and she didn't ask. There were so many emotions I was dealing with during and after our conversation. I felt like she had lied to me last year when she swore she hadn't been having sex. I also thought she was too smart to fall prey to someone who would take advantage of her in an inebriated state. And although I had no control over it, it seemed like she didn't even consider my feelings when she allowed this to happen. Let's face it, I was thinking of myself more than I was about the tremendous burden she was about to take on. All I appeared to care about was how it was making me feel. I have to admit that was very wrong of me.
I get the idea that if Chez hadn't been told that she couldn't have children, she would have gotten an abortion. As it was, she probably figured that she was going to miscarry at some point and she wouldn't have to worry about it.
I"m not going to keep you in suspense. She did have the baby, but the story behind that is remarkably complex and will be the subject of a future post, one that will be considerably much longer than this one.
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