One of the things I knew I was going to do after my Mom's wedding was go see Chez and Joad. I hadn't seen them in more than a year. At this time, they had their own place in Clovis. In the weeks and days before I came down, I had contacted Chez and told her that I was coming to Clovis on Saturday, July 23rd. I had planned to spend the afternoon with them before driving over to Tularosa to meet up with Abed. We planned for me to come to her mother's house to pick them up. She assured me that she would be there.
On the way up, I stopped at her father's house in Roswell. He told me she was looking forward to seeing me and he gave me a five dollar bill to give to her.
I got to her mother's house around 12pm, the time that I expected to be there. Her mother's boyfriend opened the door and let me in. Her mother was on the phone. I looked around, but I didn't see Chez or Joad. Her mother got off the phone. I asked where they were. "Oh, Chez told me to tell you she's sorry, but her friends came by her house this morning and took them on a road trip today."
I know I suddenly got very angry and punched my fist at a wall that wasn't there. Of course, this was in the time before cell phones, so there was no way I could have found out beforehand, but it still hurt because it meant that I didn't really mean that much to her anymore.
I said goodbye to her mother and boyfriend and went out to my car. I pounded my fists on the steering wheel. I suddenly remembered the five dollar bill. I decided that I was going to keep that. She owed me that much. But then I saw her mother and boyfriend coming out of the house and I knew it wasn't right for me to keep her money. I gave it to her to give to Chez. I didn't realize this at the time, but this would be the last time I would see her mother.
I drove off, found a pay phone and called her father. He was just as mad as I was. He gave me her phone number and told me how to get to her house, but he told me not to tell her how I found out. I called, but there was no answer. I drove over to the location he described, but all I saw was this small structure that looked like it would become a crackhouse at any minute. Considering that she was still on welfare, I figured it was where she lived, but there was no one there. I drove around Clovis for about an hour and stopped by her house a couple more times, but never found her.
I drove to Tularosa, met up with Abed and we went on our road trip the next day. (I'll go into more of our adventures in tomorrow's post.)
About a week later, I called Chez. She sounded surprised to hear from me and grilled me on how I got her number. I said I got it from directory assistance. She asked what it was listed under. I made a wild guess and said it was her last name and first two initials. I guessed right.
She said she was sorry she wasn't there, but her friends had planned that surprise road trip and they had gone to Lubbock. (I never would have even tried to go over there to find her, even if I knew she was there.) One of those friends was Saz. She said that Saz remembered me when I came up as a topic in conversation.
She told me, "I have something to tell you. I'm kind of involved with two people. One's a guy and the other is a girl." I replied, "Okay." She said, "DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT I TOLD YOU?" "Yeah, I know about that. I knew when we lived together." "No, you didn't know that!" "Oh yes, I did. Why do you think I drove you by the lesbian bar and went by the movie theatre anytime they were showing a lesbian film? And besides, there was that thing between you and Kijd." "HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT KIJD?" "Well, I don't know that anything happened between you, but it was very obvious you had feelings for her. I even flat out asked you if you were in love with her and you told me no!" "Well, I really did love Kijd, but we never got together. How did you know this about me when I didn't even know myself?" "I know you so well because I love you." She didn't really have a response to that.
She told me that the guy she was seeing was a "friends with benefits" situation (although that was not the terminology she used). He was married and in the Air Force. He and his wife had agreed to an open relationship, but she was the one who initiated it. As for the girl (who was not the wife), Chez said they had taken a liking to each other, but hadn't gotten physical yet.
Chez and I would continue to talk to each other over the course of the next few months. A lot happened in her sexual awakening in that time. I'll get to that later.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Monday, May 8, 2017
Mom gets hitched!
At some point in 1994, Mom called and told me that she was going to get married to Dend, the man she had been dating on and off for the last few years. I got along okay with Dend and I was glad to see Mom move on after she and Dad divorced. She told me that she wanted Loyd and me to give her away at the ceremony. We both said we'd be happy to. Mom also asked me to provide music for the wedding. I agreed to do that. The wedding was scheduled for the evening of Friday, July 22, 1994 at her house. It was going to take place in her backyard.
Later on that day, I talked to Dad about some other topic. Toward the end of the call, I said, "By the way, Mom's getting married." He said, "Well, that's great! The man she's marrying is a good man and I'm happy for her!"
I spent the next few months preparing music for the wedding. There were three songs that she wanted to have played during the ceremony. She had someone who would sing them. I figured I could program those three songs note by note in the sequencer on my synthesizer. That way, the music would be played "live" during the wedding. She also had a few songs that she wanted to play while people were coming in and getting their seats. I just needed to play them into the sequencer and record them on a cassette tape. She sent me the sheet music for the songs she wanted. I also had the sheet music for several other songs and came up with about 30 minutes' worth of music. After that, I programmed the primary songs and kept them stored on the keyboard. I would have to drive from San Diego to Artesia with my keyboard. I was supposed to arrive on Thursday and have it set up for the rehearsal, which was scheduled for 6pm.
This hadn't been planned ahead of time, but Abed came out with me and I dropped him off in Alamogordo. We had some adventures getting to and from New Mexico. I will go into detail about that in future posts. However, that part of the road trip caused me to get to my Mom's house about 5:55pm. Everyone involved in the wedding was there and they were all waiting for me to set up the keyboard.
I was surprised when I saw Dend because he had a toupee on. I was used to him being bald, and the hair kind of threw me off. I guess he wanted to look younger for the wedding pictures and video. Grandma Bend, Aunt Mard and Uncle Herd, Uncle Ord and Aund Merd, and Aunt Cind and her children were there. Everyone appeared to support the marriage.
Mom had a temporary gazebo set up in the backyard with rows of folding chairs. She had done a lot of work getting the wedding ready. It was a much bigger production than her original wedding, in which a few family members and friends gathered at her mother's house for both the ceremony and the reception.
The rehearsal got underway and there didn't seem to be any issues after setting up the sound system. Everything went like it was supposed to. We didn't seem to have anything to worry about. I know that I spent the night at Dad's house because everybody took up the available bed space at Mom's.
I don't recall anything special happening the day of the wedding. It was a beautiful day, everybody was where they were supposed to be and everything started on time. It was pretty hassle-free. Mom cried all throughout the ceremony. This was captured on the video.
The reception was set to take place at the Elks Lodge, where Dend was a member. One of the benefits of membership was that you got the place for free if you got married. Mom, Dend, members of the wedding party and most of the guests went over there. I, Loyd and the family members stayed behind and started cleaning up the backyard. We folded up the tables and chairs and put them away. This took a lot longer than expected. So long, in fact, that by the time Loyd and I got over to the lodge, everyone had finished eating and had started dancing. That meant we didn't get any food. We had to go out and get something to eat.
The next morning, I met Mom and Dend at the hotel where they spent their honeymoon in Artesia. They were eating breakfast with his parents. I had somewhere I had to go that day and told them goodbye.
The whole thing was completely worth it. Mom and Dend remain married to this day.
Later on that day, I talked to Dad about some other topic. Toward the end of the call, I said, "By the way, Mom's getting married." He said, "Well, that's great! The man she's marrying is a good man and I'm happy for her!"
I spent the next few months preparing music for the wedding. There were three songs that she wanted to have played during the ceremony. She had someone who would sing them. I figured I could program those three songs note by note in the sequencer on my synthesizer. That way, the music would be played "live" during the wedding. She also had a few songs that she wanted to play while people were coming in and getting their seats. I just needed to play them into the sequencer and record them on a cassette tape. She sent me the sheet music for the songs she wanted. I also had the sheet music for several other songs and came up with about 30 minutes' worth of music. After that, I programmed the primary songs and kept them stored on the keyboard. I would have to drive from San Diego to Artesia with my keyboard. I was supposed to arrive on Thursday and have it set up for the rehearsal, which was scheduled for 6pm.
This hadn't been planned ahead of time, but Abed came out with me and I dropped him off in Alamogordo. We had some adventures getting to and from New Mexico. I will go into detail about that in future posts. However, that part of the road trip caused me to get to my Mom's house about 5:55pm. Everyone involved in the wedding was there and they were all waiting for me to set up the keyboard.
I was surprised when I saw Dend because he had a toupee on. I was used to him being bald, and the hair kind of threw me off. I guess he wanted to look younger for the wedding pictures and video. Grandma Bend, Aunt Mard and Uncle Herd, Uncle Ord and Aund Merd, and Aunt Cind and her children were there. Everyone appeared to support the marriage.
Mom had a temporary gazebo set up in the backyard with rows of folding chairs. She had done a lot of work getting the wedding ready. It was a much bigger production than her original wedding, in which a few family members and friends gathered at her mother's house for both the ceremony and the reception.
The rehearsal got underway and there didn't seem to be any issues after setting up the sound system. Everything went like it was supposed to. We didn't seem to have anything to worry about. I know that I spent the night at Dad's house because everybody took up the available bed space at Mom's.
I don't recall anything special happening the day of the wedding. It was a beautiful day, everybody was where they were supposed to be and everything started on time. It was pretty hassle-free. Mom cried all throughout the ceremony. This was captured on the video.
The reception was set to take place at the Elks Lodge, where Dend was a member. One of the benefits of membership was that you got the place for free if you got married. Mom, Dend, members of the wedding party and most of the guests went over there. I, Loyd and the family members stayed behind and started cleaning up the backyard. We folded up the tables and chairs and put them away. This took a lot longer than expected. So long, in fact, that by the time Loyd and I got over to the lodge, everyone had finished eating and had started dancing. That meant we didn't get any food. We had to go out and get something to eat.
The next morning, I met Mom and Dend at the hotel where they spent their honeymoon in Artesia. They were eating breakfast with his parents. I had somewhere I had to go that day and told them goodbye.
The whole thing was completely worth it. Mom and Dend remain married to this day.
Friday, May 5, 2017
Monster Jam and Bread
For those of you who may not recall what things were like when I was originally posting my blog almost a year ago, I tended to take a little break from my life story on Fridays to share something extra, like a video or commentary. Today is no different.
I had the pleasure of going to the Monster Jam at Levi's Stadium with Ms. Ogolon and Boyd, our son. This was our first time to go to the "Home of the 49ers," so we arrived very early so we wouldn't be shocked and surprised by the parking situation. We got there 90 minutes before the official start time and got our seats:
The place got more packed as we got to the start time. I managed to record a little bit of action from the preliminary round:
But that was about all the good stuff we got to experience because Boyd started crying and we left after the first 30 minutes. We don't know what was bothering him, but the next day, he wanted to go back to the Monster Jam. We had to explain that the Monster Jam is like Christmas and his birthday: It only comes once a year.
I had the pleasure of going to the Monster Jam at Levi's Stadium with Ms. Ogolon and Boyd, our son. This was our first time to go to the "Home of the 49ers," so we arrived very early so we wouldn't be shocked and surprised by the parking situation. We got there 90 minutes before the official start time and got our seats:
The place got more packed as we got to the start time. I managed to record a little bit of action from the preliminary round:
But that was about all the good stuff we got to experience because Boyd started crying and we left after the first 30 minutes. We don't know what was bothering him, but the next day, he wanted to go back to the Monster Jam. We had to explain that the Monster Jam is like Christmas and his birthday: It only comes once a year.
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Abed and the Inner Change
Getting back into the blog earlier this week, I said that I wasn't going to write much about my involvement in the San Diego music scene. But I really wanted to write about this particular incident.
In 1994, Abed had recently moved back to San Diego after I had driven him to live with his mother in New Mexico two years earlier. I found out after I had called his mother to see what he was up to. She said he was living with his father and gave me the phone number. I called him and he was excited to hear from me. We met up at his father's apartment.
The funny thing was that we had both started doing our own music. We played each other tapes of songs that we had written and recorded. He had been playing open mics around town. He told me that the San Diego music scene was abuzz because this one person had gotten signed to a major record deal. I will call her "SuperFamousSingerSongwriter" here on out. (Yes, I realize you know exactly who I'm writing about, but I really don't need this blog to show up in Internet searches for that person. Besides, SuperFamousSingerSongwriter will be making a cameo appearance in this blog much later on, and not how you expect.)
Abed told me that SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had managed to get the recording contract because she played at this little coffeehouse called the Inner Change in Pacific Beach. He was going to play an open mic there and invited me to go see him perform. When I went there, his father was also in attendance. I remember sitting through a few performances of other people playing acoustic music. I recall this one singer-songwriter who sounded like James Taylor. He said he was a computer programmer and performed a song called "0s and 1s." It was pretty good, so much so that I remember it to this day, more than 20 years later (but I don't think he became much of a success). However, there was this one guy who was trying to be a stand-up comedian. At first, I thought this would be entertaining, but it was apparent he was just starting out and hadn't developed a stage presence yet. It was very hard to watch, so I turned my chair away from the comedian. I know at one point, he tried to come up behind me and get me to engage with him, but I wasn't having any of it.
Finally, Abed's slot came up. He performed a few of his songs on his guitar. The topics of his material showcased a feeling of protest in their delivery, but he did have a strong stage presence and a voice similar to the style of Tom Waits. I thought it went well, but also knew the majority of the music-loving public probably wouldn't find him entertaining. However, Abed would constantly fight against that label, saying, "Nobody should feel entertained by me!" He was all about getting his message across and not sugar-coating it.
A couple of weeks later, Abed told me that he had arranged an audition for the owner of the Innerchange to get a regular gig, like SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had. He gave me the date and time. I showed up a few minutes early. He had just started talking to the owner. He said I could take a seat with them during the interview portion of the audition.
The owner talked about how she had been flooded with inquiries since the news about SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had spread. She was aware that everyone was hoping that she could get them a similar deal. She informed Abed that there was long road ahead of him before she would attempt to use her connections. She said that there were a few requirements. The first was that he needed to have a following and a mailing list. He already had a mailing list, so that wasn't an issue. The second was that when people came to see him, the members of his following needed to buy something when he was performing, whether it was coffee or food. They needed to spend money.
She then described how she would then get in contact with her connections to help pave the way to a record deal. The way she was talking, it sounded like she was practically promising him a path to a recording contract. I don't know if he had the same take on this, but I was astonished that she was being so optimistic. I thought this was really going to happen.
I should point out that Abed was 20 years old at the time and he's considered very attractive. (I know a number of women who would have loved to have hooked up with him.) I think the owner saw what was on the surface and thought that she had found the male version of SuperFamousSingerSongwriter and was eager to pull the strings again. The interview was completed. A few people Abed had invited from work showed up. Remembering what the owner said, I got up and purchased a soda, but it was the only thing I could afford. I hadn't planned on spending money that night, but I knew I had to if this was going to happen for Abed. I don't recall seeing his co-workers order anything.
There were a couple of other patrons in the coffeehouse who appeared to just be socializing and weren't aware that there was going to be a performance. Abed got up on stage and started his act with his full-throttle angry young man vocals howling above the crunchy chords from his acoustic guitar. I knew what to expect and his co-workers knew what to expect, but I don't think it was what the owner was expecting.
His set went on for about a half-hour. Afterward, he went to talk to the owner by himself. When he came back, he told me, "She told me I wasn't ready for a regular gig yet, but she was going to try to set me up with some protest folk venues she knows." I realized that the owner did not want him or his music in her coffeehouse and that he should give up on those hopes of getting a record contract through her. As it turned out, she never did set him up with any venues.
The Inner Change continued to be an important part of the San Diego music scene for a couple of years and even went through a remodeling. But shortly after that, it closed down. However, it was apparent that the owner still clung to her legacy of getting SuperFamousSingerSongwriter where she was. One night, after the broadcast of the Grammy Awards, one of the local TV news stations did a live remote from Java Joe's in Ocean Beach, stating that it was where SuperFamousSingerSongwriter got her "big break." Reportedly, Inner Change's owner called up the station and angrily demanded a correction, saying that Java Joe's was not the big break, she was. The station never did air a correction.
Abed continued on his path of performing angry protest songs, evolving into other musical styles along the way. He still composes, records and performs to this day. I've practically given up on it. That's why I write this blog now.
In 1994, Abed had recently moved back to San Diego after I had driven him to live with his mother in New Mexico two years earlier. I found out after I had called his mother to see what he was up to. She said he was living with his father and gave me the phone number. I called him and he was excited to hear from me. We met up at his father's apartment.
The funny thing was that we had both started doing our own music. We played each other tapes of songs that we had written and recorded. He had been playing open mics around town. He told me that the San Diego music scene was abuzz because this one person had gotten signed to a major record deal. I will call her "SuperFamousSingerSongwriter" here on out. (Yes, I realize you know exactly who I'm writing about, but I really don't need this blog to show up in Internet searches for that person. Besides, SuperFamousSingerSongwriter will be making a cameo appearance in this blog much later on, and not how you expect.)
Abed told me that SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had managed to get the recording contract because she played at this little coffeehouse called the Inner Change in Pacific Beach. He was going to play an open mic there and invited me to go see him perform. When I went there, his father was also in attendance. I remember sitting through a few performances of other people playing acoustic music. I recall this one singer-songwriter who sounded like James Taylor. He said he was a computer programmer and performed a song called "0s and 1s." It was pretty good, so much so that I remember it to this day, more than 20 years later (but I don't think he became much of a success). However, there was this one guy who was trying to be a stand-up comedian. At first, I thought this would be entertaining, but it was apparent he was just starting out and hadn't developed a stage presence yet. It was very hard to watch, so I turned my chair away from the comedian. I know at one point, he tried to come up behind me and get me to engage with him, but I wasn't having any of it.
Finally, Abed's slot came up. He performed a few of his songs on his guitar. The topics of his material showcased a feeling of protest in their delivery, but he did have a strong stage presence and a voice similar to the style of Tom Waits. I thought it went well, but also knew the majority of the music-loving public probably wouldn't find him entertaining. However, Abed would constantly fight against that label, saying, "Nobody should feel entertained by me!" He was all about getting his message across and not sugar-coating it.
A couple of weeks later, Abed told me that he had arranged an audition for the owner of the Innerchange to get a regular gig, like SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had. He gave me the date and time. I showed up a few minutes early. He had just started talking to the owner. He said I could take a seat with them during the interview portion of the audition.
The owner talked about how she had been flooded with inquiries since the news about SuperFamousSingerSongwriter had spread. She was aware that everyone was hoping that she could get them a similar deal. She informed Abed that there was long road ahead of him before she would attempt to use her connections. She said that there were a few requirements. The first was that he needed to have a following and a mailing list. He already had a mailing list, so that wasn't an issue. The second was that when people came to see him, the members of his following needed to buy something when he was performing, whether it was coffee or food. They needed to spend money.
She then described how she would then get in contact with her connections to help pave the way to a record deal. The way she was talking, it sounded like she was practically promising him a path to a recording contract. I don't know if he had the same take on this, but I was astonished that she was being so optimistic. I thought this was really going to happen.
I should point out that Abed was 20 years old at the time and he's considered very attractive. (I know a number of women who would have loved to have hooked up with him.) I think the owner saw what was on the surface and thought that she had found the male version of SuperFamousSingerSongwriter and was eager to pull the strings again. The interview was completed. A few people Abed had invited from work showed up. Remembering what the owner said, I got up and purchased a soda, but it was the only thing I could afford. I hadn't planned on spending money that night, but I knew I had to if this was going to happen for Abed. I don't recall seeing his co-workers order anything.
There were a couple of other patrons in the coffeehouse who appeared to just be socializing and weren't aware that there was going to be a performance. Abed got up on stage and started his act with his full-throttle angry young man vocals howling above the crunchy chords from his acoustic guitar. I knew what to expect and his co-workers knew what to expect, but I don't think it was what the owner was expecting.
His set went on for about a half-hour. Afterward, he went to talk to the owner by himself. When he came back, he told me, "She told me I wasn't ready for a regular gig yet, but she was going to try to set me up with some protest folk venues she knows." I realized that the owner did not want him or his music in her coffeehouse and that he should give up on those hopes of getting a record contract through her. As it turned out, she never did set him up with any venues.
The Inner Change continued to be an important part of the San Diego music scene for a couple of years and even went through a remodeling. But shortly after that, it closed down. However, it was apparent that the owner still clung to her legacy of getting SuperFamousSingerSongwriter where she was. One night, after the broadcast of the Grammy Awards, one of the local TV news stations did a live remote from Java Joe's in Ocean Beach, stating that it was where SuperFamousSingerSongwriter got her "big break." Reportedly, Inner Change's owner called up the station and angrily demanded a correction, saying that Java Joe's was not the big break, she was. The station never did air a correction.
Abed continued on his path of performing angry protest songs, evolving into other musical styles along the way. He still composes, records and performs to this day. I've practically given up on it. That's why I write this blog now.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Bankruptcy Bingo
In yesterday's post, I explained what set me on my path to being bankrupt. Today, I'll focus on the process I had to go through to rupt my bank.
I was surprisingly proactive in finding out what I had to do to declare bankruptcy. Even though the plan was to wait until after I had a default judgement against me, I decided to do so research to see what I needed to do. I had always heard that I needed to have an attorney represent me. Somehow, I was referred to this one person. I got in contact with him over the phone. I asked him what his fee was. He said it was $1000. I asked him if he had financing plans. He said he didn't. He expected the full amount upfront because he'd had clients who would name him as one of the debtors in their bankruptcy filings.
However, he did give the best free advice an attorney could offer. First, he instructed me to go ahead and file bankruptcy before the court date for the lawsuit. If I did that, it might put a stop to the judgement against me and it wouldn't be on my record. He also said that since I really only owed two entities money (the insurance company and the credit card), I really didn't need representation. I could file myself and pay a paralegal service to prepare the paperwork for me. I could probably find one that would do it for a few hundred dollars. I thanked him for the advice.
So now, I had to find a paralegal service. I looked up several in the phone book and visited a few to get quotations. Most of them charged around $500 to $600. I did learn the correct term for self-filing: "In pro per." It looks like "improper," like they know you're going to do it wrong. I did find one service that would do it for $200 plus the $60 filing fee. That was a bargain.
I gave them all the information on my debtors. They told me I couldn't get out of paying the IRS, which I knew. In addition to the insurance company, they included the person who was injured in the accident in the filing. I didn't like that. I didn't want him knowing that I was avoiding having to pay for my part in his suffering and being reminded of the incident, but I couldn't put a stop to that.
One thing I was surprised I was able to do without an attorney was stop the harassing phone calls from the credit card company. I got called at least once a month demanding to know when I was going to make the next payment. When I knew I was going through with the filing, I replied, "Probably not, because I'm declaring bankruptcy." I had been shouted out by the collectors before, so I was expecting even more this time, but the collector was actually very pleasant about it. He really didn't have anything more to say and I never heard from them again. If I'd known I could have stopped those collection calls just by saying "bankruptcy" and not filing until it was absolutely necessary, I could have saved myself a lot of grief and a lot of money.
Even though I took action early on to file for bankruptcy, I fell back into my old procrastination habits when it came to doing what I needed to do to keep the process moving. I needed to deliver the forms to the court on a specific date. On that Friday, I called to find out if I could mail it in and if the postmark would count. They said no, I needed to come there that day to deliver everything. I just knew that a whole bunch of other people were going to be lined up because they also procrastinated and I was going to have to wait all afternoon. I drove to the court in Downtown San Diego. When I went inside, I was surprised to see that there was no line. I just went up to the window and presented the filing. That was it.
The next thing I had to wait for was a hearing date. I received the notice in the mail. This notice appeared to state that at least one of my debtors was going to appear at the hearing to contest my filing. I discussed this with Knod's mother, who had been through bankruptcy before. She told me that there was likely not going to be anyone who would show up to do that, because no one had showed up at her hearing. I really didn't know what to expect.
There were a few of us who had to appear in bankruptcy court that afternoon. I looked around, but couldn't tell if any of my debtors was there. I didn't see anyone trying to stare me down. There were a few other cases before me. Most of them just appeared before the judge, answered a few questions about their finances and left. There was only one person who had someone come up to confront him about his filing. They asked about the location of tools that he had financed from them. He said he didn't have them anymore. There wasn't a lot that could be done about that.
When it was my turn, there was no one to challenge my filing. I was worried about nothing. But I had to let the court know that I was going to be reaffirming one of my debts. That would be the loan with the credit union (that covered the fines and lawyer fees associated with the accident). I decided to keep making payments on the loan because I knew that if I ever needed money in a pinch, they would still be able to loan it to me (although it would be at a higher interest rate). This turned out to be the smartest decision I made in the process. The judge told me I needed to appear in court again to reaffirm that debt before bankruptcy would be declared.
When that court date came, I appeared before the judge to verify that I wanted to reaffirm my debt with the credit union. The judge said, "You know, you DON'T have to do this." "I know, but I want to." "Okay, but you DON'T have to do this." (Did the judge seriously think that continuing to pay a debt I owed was a really bad idea?) At any rate, the judge approved it and that was it for me.
During this entire endeavor, I anticipated that I would have to make a final appearance in court and that a judge would officially declare, "YOU ARE NOW BANKRUPT! YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT IS OVER!" But that didn't happen. I simply got a notice in the mail saying that the bankruptcy process was completed and I was clear of the debts I had claimed. I reflected on this for awhile. I never expected that I would be bankrupt before I turned 30. I felt like a loser all over again.
Mr. T had received a notice from the court that there was a default judgement against me declared. He provided an exact amount. I don't remember what it was, but it was more than was was on the subpoena I had been served. It didn't really matter at that point. I was absolved of paying that insurance company anything. (Oddly enough, I would wind up using that insurance company later on when I had to get auto insurance, so they did get something out of me.)
But in the end, being bankrupt really didn't have that much impact on my life, at least, not as much as I anticipated. There were a couple of apartments I didn't get approved for, but most places would still rent to me because the record showed I always paid my rent on time, so I was always able to find a place to live. When I needed a loan in 1995, I was able to get one from the credit union. In 1999, I was able to finance a new car from them, so I was glad that I reaffirmed that debt.
One thing I actually liked about bankruptcy was when credit card companies were signing up customers, like at the airport, with free gifts. I would apply, knowing I would be declined, but I would still get the gift. I knew that the bankruptcy's impact on my life was coming to a close in 2001 when I applied for a credit card and was actually approved.
The funny thing is that I am currently in more debt now than I was then, including the judgement against me.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
The dreaded knock on the door
I shouldn't really say it was a knock. Somebody actually rang the doorbell. Before I got up to see who was there, I suddenly thought that something bad was about to happen, like maybe I shouldn't answer the door. And I knew pretty much what was going to happen when I opened that door.
I need to backtrack. You may remember the accident I was involved in when I lived in Denver. The other driver's insurance company was continually trying to sue me. But they had trouble finding me because I kept moving from place to place. I was in one place long enough, so they sent me a letter via registered mail. It ticked me off when I got the notice because there are spaces on the card to write the name of the sender, but the Post Office would never fill that information in. I didn't know if I was getting a package or a check in the mail, so I went in and picked it up like an idiot.
The letter basically said that I owed them around $60,000. After I read the letter, I consulted with my attorney, Mr. T. He told me to write them a reply stating that I wasn't going to consider anything until they provided me with proof of the expenses, including receipts for damages and doctor visits. I did that and I didn't hear anything from them for awhile. Then I got a mysterious letter asking me to call this phone number and ask for a certain extension. It promised it wasn't a collection agency. The number had a Denver area code on it. I called the number. Some guy answered the phone and I knew right away the extension didn't really connect to anything, it was how they would look up my file. From what I could tell from the greeting, the letter did not lie. They were not a collection agency. They would probably just ask to verify my address. I hung up the phone without saying anything. A few weeks later, right before I moved out of the apartment on Idaho Street, I received this huge envelope from the insurance company. Inside was everything I had requested: Statements, receipts, doctors' notes, etc. A lot of it was copies of other statements, receipts and notes that they obviously threw in there to pad out the package. Since I knew I was going to be moving soon, I didn't do anything except ignore it.
I lived in my next apartment for about three months before I had to move again to my present apartment. But during that time, I never saw any evidence that the insurance company was wise to my whereabouts. In April 1994, this was when the doorbell rang. I opened the door. A man about my age asked if I was Fayd Ogolon. I said I was. He said, "I have some legal papers for you." He handed me an envelope and left. I had been served. They finally caught up to me.
I read the letter. It stated that the insurance company was proceeding with a lawsuit and that I was to appear in civil court in Colorado on a certain date at a certain time. If I didn't appear, there were be a default judgement against me for the full amount of $60,000. I immediately called my attorney, Mr. T, in Denver. We discussed the possibility of him representing me in the case, but he didn't feel like I had much of a shot of winning since I had already pleaded guilty to reckless driving. I said that if I lost the case, I could declare bankruptcy. He advised me to just let the judgement default and then declare bankruptcy. I guess he really didn't want to go to court, even though I had paid him the full amount for his services the last time.
(A side note: I realized later that while Mr. T was a decent defense attorney in my criminal case, he didn't seem to know much about civil law. A different attorney would have taken the approach that there were issues with the traffic signaling system at that intersection that could have been considered the cause of the accident. Supposedly, they have changed that traffic light to allow protected left turns from each direction. I could have won, but I still would have probably needed to pay my attorney thousands of dollars. The advice about going ahead and declaring bankruptcy was really the best option. Going to court would have also meant traveling to Denver and losing work and money.)
After receiving the summons, I realized that I could have delayed that a little longer if I had thought about it ahead of time. The original police report described me as a male with brown hair. My hair is actually blond and looked really blond after 2 1/2 years of living in Southern California without having it cut. The person doing the serving may not have realized right away that I was Fayd Ogolon, especially since it it was much longer than the time of the accident.
This was about a week after Kurt Cobain had been found dead in his home after committing suicide. There were stories about a lot of his fans who decided that would be the best way to bring their misery to an end. When the guy asked if I was Fayd Ogolon, I could have started getting misty-eyed and explained that Fayd was my roommate, but he committed suicide after Kurt Cobain had died. The guy probably would have said, "I'm sorry to hear that," and gone away.
But really, he likely would have done enough investigating to see that I was the guy driving Fayd Ogolon's car (especially since I had to park on the street). At any rate, I doubt I would have gotten away with it forever. He would have come back, caught me and the court date would have remained the same.
At any rate, all of this set me on my path to declare bankruptcy. I'll share those details tomorrow.
I need to backtrack. You may remember the accident I was involved in when I lived in Denver. The other driver's insurance company was continually trying to sue me. But they had trouble finding me because I kept moving from place to place. I was in one place long enough, so they sent me a letter via registered mail. It ticked me off when I got the notice because there are spaces on the card to write the name of the sender, but the Post Office would never fill that information in. I didn't know if I was getting a package or a check in the mail, so I went in and picked it up like an idiot.
The letter basically said that I owed them around $60,000. After I read the letter, I consulted with my attorney, Mr. T. He told me to write them a reply stating that I wasn't going to consider anything until they provided me with proof of the expenses, including receipts for damages and doctor visits. I did that and I didn't hear anything from them for awhile. Then I got a mysterious letter asking me to call this phone number and ask for a certain extension. It promised it wasn't a collection agency. The number had a Denver area code on it. I called the number. Some guy answered the phone and I knew right away the extension didn't really connect to anything, it was how they would look up my file. From what I could tell from the greeting, the letter did not lie. They were not a collection agency. They would probably just ask to verify my address. I hung up the phone without saying anything. A few weeks later, right before I moved out of the apartment on Idaho Street, I received this huge envelope from the insurance company. Inside was everything I had requested: Statements, receipts, doctors' notes, etc. A lot of it was copies of other statements, receipts and notes that they obviously threw in there to pad out the package. Since I knew I was going to be moving soon, I didn't do anything except ignore it.
I lived in my next apartment for about three months before I had to move again to my present apartment. But during that time, I never saw any evidence that the insurance company was wise to my whereabouts. In April 1994, this was when the doorbell rang. I opened the door. A man about my age asked if I was Fayd Ogolon. I said I was. He said, "I have some legal papers for you." He handed me an envelope and left. I had been served. They finally caught up to me.
I read the letter. It stated that the insurance company was proceeding with a lawsuit and that I was to appear in civil court in Colorado on a certain date at a certain time. If I didn't appear, there were be a default judgement against me for the full amount of $60,000. I immediately called my attorney, Mr. T, in Denver. We discussed the possibility of him representing me in the case, but he didn't feel like I had much of a shot of winning since I had already pleaded guilty to reckless driving. I said that if I lost the case, I could declare bankruptcy. He advised me to just let the judgement default and then declare bankruptcy. I guess he really didn't want to go to court, even though I had paid him the full amount for his services the last time.
(A side note: I realized later that while Mr. T was a decent defense attorney in my criminal case, he didn't seem to know much about civil law. A different attorney would have taken the approach that there were issues with the traffic signaling system at that intersection that could have been considered the cause of the accident. Supposedly, they have changed that traffic light to allow protected left turns from each direction. I could have won, but I still would have probably needed to pay my attorney thousands of dollars. The advice about going ahead and declaring bankruptcy was really the best option. Going to court would have also meant traveling to Denver and losing work and money.)
After receiving the summons, I realized that I could have delayed that a little longer if I had thought about it ahead of time. The original police report described me as a male with brown hair. My hair is actually blond and looked really blond after 2 1/2 years of living in Southern California without having it cut. The person doing the serving may not have realized right away that I was Fayd Ogolon, especially since it it was much longer than the time of the accident.
This was about a week after Kurt Cobain had been found dead in his home after committing suicide. There were stories about a lot of his fans who decided that would be the best way to bring their misery to an end. When the guy asked if I was Fayd Ogolon, I could have started getting misty-eyed and explained that Fayd was my roommate, but he committed suicide after Kurt Cobain had died. The guy probably would have said, "I'm sorry to hear that," and gone away.
But really, he likely would have done enough investigating to see that I was the guy driving Fayd Ogolon's car (especially since I had to park on the street). At any rate, I doubt I would have gotten away with it forever. He would have come back, caught me and the court date would have remained the same.
At any rate, all of this set me on my path to declare bankruptcy. I'll share those details tomorrow.
Monday, May 1, 2017
We got things fixed and we're back to losing!
I honestly did not expect to take an almost year-long break from my blog. A lot of stuff has happened, but I think I'm in a good place where I can resume my writings.
However, there are going to be a few changes: I'll probably stick to my main story of my life: jobs, women and friends I encountered throughout my life. I'll probably cut down on posts that are general commentary.
One thing I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about is my involvement in the San Diego music scene from 1994 to 2003. A lot of it has to do with the fact that many of the people I encountered coukd be considered cult celebrities, and I want to use their real names (with the exception of one actual celebrity, who will appear very soon). I will post some stuff about my music experience here and there, but I'll be saving the bulk of that for Phase Three of the blog. (If you're new to the blog Here are the three phases: 1. The chronological story of my life as a loser. 2. Encounters with celebrities. 3. Certain stories that I missed in the chronological story of my life and various commentaries.)
I'm going to skip ahead and provide some recent updates in my life: For starters, I have attained a supervisory position at my current place of work, and I've been pretty good at it. But as has been the pattern of my life, I predict something is going to happen in the near future to take that away from me and it will become part of the story.
The other thing is that my father and his wife Gred passed away in the early part of October 2016. It was very devastating and I'm still trying to deal with that. What it means to this blog is that I may have a lot of questions that were left unanswered and I'll be constantly referring to him in the past tense, to borrow a phrase from my brother Loyd.
But it won't be all sadness in this blog. There will be plenty to laugh and be shocked about as I reveal a lot of really stupid decisions that shaped my life and somehow, I am still here to write about it all.
One thing you need to be aware of is that while I will attempt to post on a daily basis, I'm going to come across a few days in which I have to take a breather here and there. I won't always indicate ahead of time when I'm going to take a break. Just know that I'll try to get something up as soon as possible. For right now, I have about a month's worth of material already prepared.
We pick up where we left off tomorrow. Enjoy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)