I first became aware of Terz when I was a senior in high school. In 1982, my Drama club had gone to the Drama Festival at Eastern New Mexico University. We got there in time for the first play, which was "The Tea Cup Tree," presented by Clovis High School. She played the lead role of a woman who was being forced to take down her tree, from which she hung a collection of tea cups. It was pretty terrible, probably worse than the play we were originally set to put on, but cancelled at the last minute.
I would see Terz again when I was a sophomore at ENMU. She was a freshman. She was very skinny with light brown skin and thick black hair. Her hair was done in such a fashion that it made her appear about four inches taller. She was from Panama, but I never got the full story about how she got from Panama to the United States. Chances are that she was born in Panama to US citizens who were working at the canal. This would have been 1965. I never met her parents, so I don't know if she was maybe adopted from there or the whole family came up. Her last name is European and she speaks perfect English.
She was very cute and clever. I became smitten with her. However, I never got up the courage to ask her out because I would usually start out by asking her what she was up to over the weekend. She always had distinct plans, which mostly involved going home to Clovis. I just wasn't going to be able to catch a break with her, so I stopped trying to start something up. We often had lunch together with other students from the Theatre Department and in all that time, I never got any indication that she was the least bit attracted to me.
We appeared onstage in minor roles in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" and "The King and I." But we had larger roles together in "Deathtrap." In that play, I portrayed Porter Milgrim and she was Helga ten Dorp. We were in the last scene together. I gave an understated performance and she stole the show.
The next year, her parents offered to help her move into an apartment off-campus. It was their idea. She was shocked, but did have her own apartment that year. I never got invited over.
It was around this time that I started suspecting that she might be a lesbian. As I've written earlier, I found I was somewhat pre-disposed to find some lesbians attractive. At the same time, I also felt like I never got an opportunity to let her know how crazy I was about her and regretted that I had never let her know soon after we had met. By the end of my third year in college, it felt like it was too late for me to express this and get her to like me. I figured that the only way I could get my message across was by working somewhat suggestive things into our conversation as a form of flirting.
I honestly don't remember any of the things I said. I know that they were relatively mild, but still clear enough to indicate what I had on my mind. I know it got so bad that once, I asked her what she was going to do after rehearsal one night and she said she was going to go home and go to bed. And then she added, "And NO, you can't join me!" I actually was going to ask if I could join her. I stopped the flirting after that because it was rather apparent it wasn't getting me anywhere. At the time, I thought it was all innocent fun. But now that I'm older and have learned more about the subject, I realize that I was indeed sexually harassing her. I feel terrible. I shouldn't have done that. I understand why I did it, but it's not really an excuse. However, it does give me a little insight into why some other guys sexually harass women, but I can't say I sympathize with them. I was able to figure out when to quit.
The strange thing is that I have never done that with any other woman that I wasn't dating. I guess it was pretty clear that was just not the way to get a woman to like me. But I have seen that approach work for some guys, but they were always a whole lot better looking than me.
The last time I saw Terz was in 1987 when she was performing her Senior Recital. I know she pursued some sort of career in acting, but probably was not able to make a living at it. I saw a mutual friend about seven years later and she had been to ENMU to see the new Theatre building that had been constructed after we left. She saw rehearsals for one of the productions and thought to herself that one of the actresses looked like Terz. It turned out it was Terz, who had come by invitation to take part in a production as a visiting artist.
Around 2008, I started looking up Terz on the Internet. I found that she had become the Unit Assistant Director at Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center in Amarillo. She works in the library and research department. She has a profile at imdb.com, but didn't to a lot of work in film or television and probably did more stuff on stage. She recently had the lead role in a play produced by Amarillo Little Theatre.
In recent photographs, she has put on a little weight (maybe 30 pounds) and has a few strands of grey hair. I would recognize her today if I ran into her.
And if I ever did, the first words out of my mouth would be an apology. I don't know if I'll ever get to do that.
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