Up to this point in my life (11 years old), I'd actually had a few crushes. I've only discussed one of them in a past blog. However, I'm not going to detail every single instance in which I found myself oddly attracted to someone. But I will go into detail about some of the more notable ones.
I'm reminded of something Adam Carolla said on "Loveline" several years ago. He mentioned that when he was in school, he had developed major crushes on about 2,500 different girls. He was completely in love with all of them and would have done anything to be with them. Yet, during that time, there were probably only two or three girls who ever felt that way about him. That exactly matches the way I felt about the inequity of my crushes.
In sixth grade, I participated in the choir. The choir would rehearse during lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The choir director (from the fire drill story) would call roll and I would always hear the name of this particular girl named Tez, but I never looked around to see who it was.
The age of 11 is when boys are supposed to go out deer hunting with their fathers for the first time. It was not something I was looking forward to. (I'll blog about that experience later.) The top requirement was to take a gun safety class in order to get a deer hunting license. For about four weeks, my father took me to the class, which took place on Wednesday nights. They called roll there. I heard Tez' name. I looked around and saw her. She had this round face, red hair and wore glasses. She was going to go deer hunting!
I started noticing her more during the choir rehearsals. Without ever talking to her, I started to like her more. She was rather tomboy-ish and almost never wore dresses. At some point, I had come up with this test to determine how much I liked a girl: If I dreamed about her three times, that meant I was in love with her. I dreamed about Tez three times. I don't remember what happened the first two times, but the third time, I dreamed that I was swinging from some type of bar in only my underwear. I turned my head and noticed her watching me. It surprised me in the dream. I immediately woke up and knew that I was officially in love.
The only thing was that I didn't know how to approach her. The choir was the only gathering we had in common. I didn't even think to ask her about deer hunting. (That would have meant telling her what happened to me and it's rather embarrassing, but I promise I'll tell all about it in the next post.)
If I happened to be standing next to her in choir (which didn't happen often), I could feel my body temperature increasing. I was so in love with her and she didn't even realize it. It drove me crazy.
So the whole rest of the sixth grade went by and I never spoke a word to her. In the seventh grade, I still had the crush on her. Once, a friend and I were kind of joshing around in the hallway and fake wrestling. She walked by us and uttered, "Queers!" It wasn't very loud, but we were able to hear it. Wow! This was the first time she even came close to talking to me! However, I really didn't like that she thought I was queer, so I had to do something about it.
The next day, she and her best friend were hanging out before school started. I went up to them and said, "Queers!" Boy, they got mad! She grabbed me by the collar and threatened to punch me. It was very thrilling for me! I apologized for the remark and she let me go without hitting me. We never talked again after that.
Now, the reason why I'm writing about this crush is that I realized something about Tez some time ago. I have reason to believe that she might have been a lesbian. (Yes, kind of ironic considering the "queers" remark.)
This important to note because I found out later I had somehow developed some kind of pre-disposition in which I found myself attracted to lesbians. Now, I don't mean that I only find lesbians attractive, but if I'm not certain of a woman's sexual orientation, I find the stronger attraction to lesbians, particularly if they are somewhat tomboy-ish with feminine features. I will admit that two of my ex-girlfriends turned out to be lesbians. (I will blog about them MUCH later!)
As for Tez, she appears to have become a pediatric nurse practitioner for a medical group in Roswell. She graduated from medical school at Arizona State University and was certified in 2008. The practice's website has a photo of her. She looks very similar to the way I remember her in high school. I'm glad to see someone I liked was able to find their place in this world.
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