Only a square learns to square dance

One thing that my parents liked to do was go square dancing. When I was in the seventh grade, they decided it was time that Loyd and I learn so we could go out as a family and square dance. Yeah, square dancing is for losers. That's part of what makes me one, even though I don't do it anymore.

I was okay with it up to the point that Loyd was going to get to learn at the same time. He just barely missed the cutoff for the lowest age they would accept. That meant I was going to have to put up with his nonsense.

Learning how to square dance gave me my first indication of how I was going to do with girls. At first, it wasn't that hard getting girls to be my partner. However, as the weeks wore on and more of my quirks became apparent, I couldn't get anyone close to my age to dance with me. I had to settle for asking the older women to be my partner. I kind of didn't like that. (I should also add that Loyd had similar problems.)

During your average square dancing song, everyone changes partners. The women move over to the men on their right side. This process continues until you get your original partner back at the end of the song. The first time the instructor pulled this switch after about a month's worth of lessons, he forgot to explain that changing partners is what's supposed to happen. So when the switch occurred, the experienced dancers knew what was going on, but we newbies were all, "What's going on?"

The one thing about doing that switch is that all those girls who didn't want to dance with me wound up being my partner at some point anyway.

However, the important thing about square dancing is that you absolutely have to have a partner if you are an adult at an actual dance. I feel sorry for someone who shows up solo at one of those things. It's one thing to be a teenager going with your parents. You can at least ask your mother to be your partner for a few dances. (Yes, I had to do that. I was such a loser.)

But I attended my last square dance when I was 13. And now, I can't even remember 90% of the calls. I would have to go through the whole learning process again. I'm not planning on doing that.