Friday, November 29, 2013

The terrible trauma of turning 13

As you might have noticed, I was a fairly unusual child from the time I was born to when I was 12 years old. However, everything that made me a good little boy vanished during the early part of my teenage years.

When I was forced to spend time with my family, I was in a bad mood. I didn't want to be around them. If they were watching TV, I would go to my room to watch, even though it was on a 13" black and white set. I would do this even though I was watching the same thing that was on the TV downstairs. I spent a lot of time in my room doing homework, watching TV and listening to music.

It was even worse when we went to see the extended family. I just didn't want to go anywhere or see anybody. When greeting relatives, including my grandparents, I would quickly hug them, grumble and be on my way from everyone. Mom would get really upset at me and scold me for acting that way. My Grandma Bend didn't really seem to mind. She would say it was okay.

I guess because I didn't act like a typical kid, it probably took my parents by surprise that I was starting to act like a typical teenager. Mom would just give me lectures about how I needed to behave better when I was around relatives. It didn't help that I couldn't explain why I was acting that way.

I should add that I didn't act like this with my friends, teachers or anybody else. It was all directed at people I was related to. I guess I preferred being at school because no one from my family was there. I didn't realize until I graduated from college what was wrong with me.

And really, there was nothing wrong with me. It was normal teenager behavior. But the way Mom acted, there was no excuse for treating everyone like that. While I agree, it was hard for me to really consider other people's feelings when it seemed like they didn't really even consider mine. And probably also the Asperger thing had a lot to do with it. Who knows?

I guess my Mom couldn't really identify because she probably wasn't able to go through that phase herself. As I have mentioned before, her father died when she was 12 and that completely devastated the family. They were uprooted from the home they'd known for years and plopped down in the middle of nowhere. It was their extended family that helped them out, so my mother was always grateful to be around them whenever possible.

Yes, this is like that episode of "Home Improvement" in which Tim's middle son is being disrespectful. When talking with Wilson, Tim said he never treated his father that way. However, Wilson points out Tim's father died when he was 12, so he never got a chance to rebel against him as a teenager. I actually didn't figure out my Mom's issue with my adolescence until I saw that episode.

And again, it was my Mom who had the problem with me. My father never said anything, either to me or my Mom. As I've mentioned before, Dad just seemed content to go with the flow to see what I would do next.

Sometimes, I feel like if I had just acted like this to everyone all the time, I probably wouldn't have been regarded as such a loser. That's only because nobody would ever get a chance to really know me.

No comments:

Post a Comment