Braceface! (Redux)

(A note to readers: I had used the Blogger App on my phone to publish this on 11/21/13 because I was spending a lot of time on the road. However, the post, which was accessible because I shared it on Facebook and Twitter, seemed to completely disappear from my list of published articles and was not retrievable from my list of drafts. It ceased to exist on my profile. I copied and pasted the text below into a new blog post because there is a reference to it in the final sentence of the previous article.)

This is probably the main thing that affected my life the most when I was in the seventh grade: Having to get braces. I had seen lots of TV shows in which kids get braces. I never thought I would be one of them. (I should note that "The Brady Bunch" flat out LIED about braces. In one episode, Marcia has to wear braces for only TWO WEEKS! There is NO WAY that would happen in the real world! Braces for two weeks would be a waste of time AND money. I wonder how many kids watched that episode and were shocked to find out how long they were really going to have to wear braces.)

I never thought my teeth were that incredibly crooked, but I guess my Mom thought so, and she took me to see an orthodontist. At this time, in 1977, there was only one orthodontist in our region of the state. His regular practice was in Roswell. What he would do was work four days a week there and then spend one Friday a month in the surrounding towns. This meant that EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN ARTESIA WHO HAD BRACES ALL HAD TO COME SEE THE ORTHODONTIST ON THE SAME DAY!

He probably saw between eight to ten people an hour. Most of the time, the patients just needed a quick adjustment. If I was able to get in at 8am, I could make it to school on time. But I rarely got that slot, so I would be late for my first class at least once a month.

When my Mom took me to see him for the consult, he said I would need to wear braces for two years. He also said that at some point, I would have to wear a night brace for a while. The cost was estimated at $2,000. This was back before dental insurance would cover braces. In fact, dental insurance started paying for braces about one year after I had mine removed.

Before I got the braces put on, I had to have four teeth extracted. I went to two separate appointments at my regular dentist. The first time, I kept my eyes closed the whole time. I could feel the dentist doing a lot of pushing and pulling in my mouth. The next week, I opened my eyes once. Big mistake. I could see the dentist was using what appeared to be a pair of pliers to remove my teeth. That freaked me out.

To have the braces put in, I had to go to Roswell and miss some classes. They didn't feel too bad. In the gaps where my extracted teeth used to be, there were these little springs.

The first few monthly appointments were fairly smooth. I would just go in and he would adjust the springs. However, after he removed the springs, the real torture began. Every month, he would tighten the wires strung through all the braces and my mouth would be in severe pain the entire weekend. I would not be able to eat anything solid. Mom got mad at me because all I wanted were milkshakes. After the weekend, everything felt normal again and I could eat regularly.

I never did have to wear the night brace. However, I did have to wear a rubber band that connected the top and bottom teeth of my left side for a couple of months. I had to keep the band in at all times, even when I was eating. I was given a small bag of rubber bands and was told to replace them if they broke. I sort of got into the habit of chewing on the rubber bands while they were in my mouth. This made them break more often. It got to the point that I was breaking one every hour. I had to start being more careful with them.

Almost two years to the day I had the braces put on, I got to have them removed. Two weeks later, I had to go back to get the retainers. He put a permanent one on my lower teeth and the removable one for the upper part of my mouth. I had trouble removing the upper retainer on my first day. I coughed up some phlegm and it got stuck between the retainer and the roof of my mouth. Once I actually got the retainer out for lunch, it was permanently stained with the phlegm. I could not remove that stain no matter how much I brushed the retainer.

I continued to wear the retainers through high school and I never lost the upper one. I made certain to wear it every day and my teeth stayed straight. I only had to see the orthodontist about once every three months at this point. I basically came in, sat down, he'd look in my mouth, say everything looked good and told me to come back in three months. During my senior year, he told me that my next appointment would be the last one I would have with him.

I assume that he was going to remove the bottom retainer at that last appointment, but I didn't go for some reason. I think it had to do with me forgetting what date the appointment was and his office never called to confirm it. I stopped wearing the upper retainer less and less, but kept the bottom retainer in.

That bottom retainer would stay in my mouth until I was 36 years old. Because I didn't have dental insurance, I didn't go see a dentist for more than 13 years, even though I could see and feel the wisdom teeth on the right side of my mouth decaying away. The dentist who cleaned my teeth said they would need to remove my bottom retainer so they could clean my teeth better. They would also have to create a new Invisalign retainer so I could keep my bottom teeth straight. I said I didn't think I needed a bottom retainer because I was pretty certain everything was going to stay in place. They said they could do it, but it would cost $150. I told them I didn't want them to do it.

I had planned a vacation home to New Mexico. I decided to look up my old orthodontist. I found out he had retired and someone else had taken over his practice. I was able to see that orthodontist and he said he could remove the retainer and make the Invisalign for $70. When I told him the retainer had been in my mouth for 22 years, I'm pretty certain his assistant was thinking, "Wow! That's longer than I've been alive!" I wore the Invisalign retainer for a few weeks, but I got fed up with it and stopped using it. Nothing ever happened to my bottom teeth.

An amusing follow up to this story is that about 15 years after I graduated from high school, Mom decided she wanted to get her teeth straightened and she went to see the same orthodontist Loyd and I did. She chose to get the regular braces and not the Invisalign. She soon found out what it was that me and my brother went through. She said, "I was not sympathetic enough with you boys. I had no idea it was this painful."