A crush who had her spirit crushed: Sanz

I should start by saying that while I did have a crush on Sanz, it was not an all-consuming, can't think of anyone else-type of crush (as I've had in the past). She was just someone I liked who was very friendly toward me. I was fully aware the entire time I knew her that there was nothing that was ever going to happen between us. Although, once she asked me to give her a massage. That was kind of weird.

I first became aware of Sanz when I was a sophomore in high school. When my school's Theatre club went to the Drama Festival at Eastern New Mexico University, I had brought my movie camera. I saw this attractive young woman headed my direction. I started rolling. She walked past me and went into the Theatre office. While she was going into the office, I got a shot of her butt.

A few weeks later, ENMU had a touring production of "The Fantasticks" come to perform at our high school. Sanz was a member of the crew. This was when I first learned her name, and I was kind of embarrassed because I knew I had filmed her, something she was never aware of. (On a side note, I may have met Dr. R's first wife with this group as she appeared to be the one in charge. By the time I'd gotten to ENMU, they had split up and Dr. R had started dating another woman, whom he eventually married.)

The next time I saw Sanz was the summer of 1980. During the time I had gone to Portales with my Mom and hang out with Dayz, I was walking around the ENMU campus. I was in the vicinity of the Theatre building. I suddenly ran into Sanz. She recognized me, quietly said hi and continued walking.

I continued to see Sanz at the next two ENMU Drama Festivals. When I was a freshman at the college, she was a senior. She was going to graduate at the end of the fall semester. During her time at ENMU, she had become one of the "big fish." I had seen her in leading roles in the productions we saw my junior and senior years in high school. The summer before I started college, she had landed the role of Princess Fred in a summer stock production of "Once Upon a Mattress" in Texas. She definitely looked like she was going places.

Sanz was a friend to everyone, including us freshmen. When I came to her and presented my submission of "Allergies" for the Evening of One Acts, her face brightened up when I told her I had written it. Later, when we were casting, I told her about how someone I wanted in my cast had said beforehand that he didn't want to work with a freshman director. She got very upset, even more than I was.

Her plan was to graduate with her degree at the end of the Fall 1982 semester and go on to New York City. Her somewhat-boyfriend had graduated six months earlier and went up there with another fellow graduate. This was very inspiring to all of us. The idea someone we knew was actually going to go out and make a career out in the theatrical industry made us all feel like we could accomplish those same goals, that the Theatre Department was preparing us for that.

In April, I saw her come to the Theatre building. I just thought she was in town for a quick visit, but she never went back to New York City. I never got the full story about what happened to her there (even though I actually saw her somewhat-boyfriend when I went there for spring break a year later). The rumors going around was that all she got was rejection in NYC. She was cast in ENMU's summer 1983 production of "Stop the World! I Want to Get Off!" as the lead character's oldest daughter. Dr. R directed that show.

In the Fall 1983 semester, she returned and auditioned for "A Midsummer Night's Dream." Dr. R did not cast her. However, he did permit her to come in and lead the cast in vocal and body warms ups prior to the rehearsals. She auditioned for "The Elephant Man." Again, Dr. R did not cast her. It was clear he was sending her a message. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, it would have been nice if he had done this for other people who had overstayed their welcome. Why he did it to her and not anyone else is still a mystery to me.

Sanz never auditioned for any more productions. She went to nursing school, became a psychiatric nurse, met some guy and got married. She was in Clovis for awhile. I can't tell for a fact that she had any children. I do know that she ended up being a nursing professor at university schools of nursing in New Hampshire and Massachusetts. But I was not able to find any activity in theatre all these years. She really must have been dealt a crushing blow from her theatre experience.

I have no idea if she was aware of the impact she had on the morale of the Theatre Department when she came back. Because no one seemed to have all the details, all we knew was that we had no idea what to expect once we left college to try to become actors. If no one wanted to cast her, what would that mean for the rest of us?

It was a question that we all eventually got the answer to when we went out into the real world. It appears that almost everyone I knew back then faced the same treachery.