Jobs #10 and #11: John Casablancas and JF Images Era, 1988 - 1989

When I first arrived in Denver in July 1988 and was looking for jobs, I searched the classifieds for people looking for actors. I found one ad for John Casablancas. I went to their open call in Aurora without knowing anything about what they were. It turned out it was a modeling agency. I had some three-year-old headshots that I was able to use. When I talked to the recruiter, I told her I was interested in acting and voiceover work, but not in being a model. The woman was rather impressed with my voice and said they could help out in that area. However, I still had to attend their modeling school before they would be my agent. I signed up and got a loan of $600 to pay for the classes. It seemed like a worthy investment.

I enjoyed going to the classes once a week. They were taught by beautiful women. They had separate modeling classes for men and women. The women had a lot more classes and had to pay about $1000 for the school. One of my fellow classmates was a 13-year-old boy. The agency was booking for a runway show and needed someone about his age and size, so he was able to get work while he was still going to school. It looked like John Casablancas was on the ball and strived to get work for its models.

I was the first one in my class to complete all the requirements for being signed by the agency. I kept calling them once a week to see if they had any voiceover work for me. They didn't. They never did. I don't think they really had the connections to help me get voiceover work. I wasn't good-looking enough to be an actual model. However, they were able to get me in with a couple of marketing promotions at the 16th Street Mall. In the first one, models from several different agencies were handing out free Marlboro Menthol cigarettes. They had groups of models stationed at each corner. Only the women handed out the cigarettes while wearing these white Marlboro jumpsuits. The men were in charge of the supplies, so I didn't really hand out the cigarettes. However, I did feel like a pimp.

We got paid $10 an hour and were there all week. Because we were from John Casablancas, we actually got paid more than the models from the other agencies and were told not to discuss the pay with the other models. One model told me she was getting paid $8 an hour. We only had a few people griping about us giving out cigarettes.

A few months later, the same marketing group did the same thing. Only this time, it was with Twix Peanut Butter Cookie Bars. Yes, it was a much better choice for giving things away. The idea was to increase sales of the peanut butter version, because just about everyone only ate the original caramel version. I also had to take part in giving them away, so I didn't get to just stand on the sidelines while the women did the work. This time, they only used the models from John Casablancas and we made $8 an hour. We each also got a whole case of Twix to take home. It took me about a month to eat mine.

With those two jobs, I actually made my money back on the school. I landed one more gig, doing a hair demonstration for Modafini products at some kind of hair convention in Colorado Springs. This job didn't pay. All I got was a free haircut and some Modafini samples. The only other thing the agency pointed me toward was an audition for a production of "Hair" in Boulder. At this time, my hair wasn't very long, so I never got past the audition.

Interestingly enough, I talked to Bid sometime after I had moved to Denver. He told me that he has John Casablancas was his agent as well. I'm certain they were able to do a lot more for him than they did for me. I realized that meant he also had to pay $600 and take their classes.

A few years later, when I was about to move to San Diego, I took a bus out to Aurora (because my car wasn't working) to talk to them about making certain my representation would transfer to San Diego. I figured that since it was closer to Los Angeles, I would have better luck getting voiceover work there. When I got there, the office was vacant and the business' name had been removed from the front of the building. There were no notices of where they may have moved. I didn't know when they closed, but I sure felt sorry for anyone who paid for and completed the school right before they shut down.

As for JF Images, I found out about this modeling agency after a PSA appeared on my station while I was working a shift. It put out a call for extras to appear in some television productions that were being shot in Denver. Right after the PSA aired, I got flooded with phone calls from people trying to find out more. I looked through all our PSA information, but I couldn't find the info. I had to call the woman who recorded the announcement. She told me that it was for JF Images and where I could find the information. I was able to answer the questions and I decided to look into it myself. I told Bez about it and she was also interested in taking part. We went down to the agency, filled out the paperwork and they took polaroids of us. At the time, I didn't have a phone in my apartment, so I listed Bez' phone number.

I was aware that this was flat-out wrong, having this agency book me for extra work when I was signed with someone else. I just didn't mention that on the JF Images paperwork.

One night, I was at my apartment when someone rang my doorbell. This was the first time this had happened since I moved in. I had a problem trying to get the intercom system to work because I hadn't dealt with it before. I kept hitting the buzzer to let whoever in, but I couldn't talk to them. I went outside my door. Bez' parents and grandmother were there. Her mother told me that I had gotten a call from JF Images and they wanted me to be an extra the next day. I thanked them for coming over. I did not let them in the apartment. Bez later told me her parents didn't like that I didn't show them around, but really, the apartment was a bit messy.

After they left, I went over to to my workplace at Phone Survey, Inc because they had phones over there I could use. I called the agency. They said they had filled their quota for the next day, but they could use me for another production a couple of days later. The location would be at Denver University.

I'm not going to go into full detail about my extra experiences because they involve celebrities. I'm saving that for Phase 2 of this blog. (It could be at least a year before I get to that.) Toward the end of the day's shoot, they told us to call JF Images in a couple of weeks because they would need extras for courtroom scenes. I called them and they told me that yes, they could use me and I was to show up at the City and County Building. I spent a whole week doing that. I got a taste for was it was like to make a living as an actor.

JF Images called me again to do more extra work. It was supposed to be one day on the outskirts of town. I drove all the way over there. After a couple of hours, they told us that the main actress was sick and couldn't work that day, so the shoot was canceled. They told us to all come back the next week, which I was able to do.

In all of this, they never called Bez to get her to be an extra. I found it hard to believe that they were that overloaded with women extras that they couldn't have found one day of work to do.

All in all, I made almost as much money working for JF Images than I did for John Casablancas, and I DIDN'T have to pay hundreds of dollars to take classes. I'm certain that John Casablancas has been able to get a lot of people work, but for me, it was really a ripoff. I actually don't feel bad about doing work for JF Images.

I never tried to do extra work again after that in Denver. I tried in San Diego, but the agency I used there only called once and then found out I wasn't the right type of person for the project.

I just wasn't meant to be in showbiz.

Girlfriend #3: Bez (Part 4)

When Bez broke up with me, it was probably the most adult decision she had made in her life up to that point. I doubt her parents had anything to do with her deciding to see what else was out there. However, every major life decision she made after that was reflective of her 14-year-old mentality.

During the year and four months that we were together, I had five (technically seven) different jobs. She was aware of her employment history and figured that one of us needed to have more stability job-wise if we were going to ever get married. She probably felt like if I was going to be a loser for the rest of my life (which I have been, so to speak, but not always at minimum-wage), she didn't want to have any part of it.

What happened after we broke up is that she met some other guy and spent a lot of time with him. However, this guy didn't have his own place. He was living with his brother. Her father told me that she would go over there and spend the night sometimes. This kind of made me mad because I could never get her to spend the night at my apartment. Any time we were at my place, we had to wrap everything up so I could drive her home before 10pm. Her parents didn't like the idea that kind of stuff was going on when we were together, but they didn't find out until after we broke up that Bez and I never had sex. But I guess she exerted her independence and they just let her spend the night at that guy's place.

Just before her 30th birthday, the guy she was seeing decided to move to Milwaukee, where he came from. He was going to move back in with his mother. He invited Bez to go along with him and she agreed. I talked to her one last time before she left. I don't remember the conversation, but I know I ended it by telling her that I loved her.

In the meantime, I moved upward in my job at the movie theatre. I was the Assistant Manager before I had been there a full year. A year later, I was offered the Assistant Manager position at a new multi-plex they were opening in San Diego. I moved there in November of 1991.

Bez had always wanted to move back to California. I can only imagine her reaction when she found out I was moving out there. In fact, I think she realized she made the wrong decision when it became apparent that I had job stability. But she probably felt like she had to prove to herself she made the right decision by marrying that guy. Mind you, this followed a volatile period in which they had broken up and she moved back to Denver. Somehow, he talked her in to returning and a wedding was held. She got pregnant and had a baby girl. Then, they went through a divorce and custody proceedings. Bez' father mentioned something to the effect that the guy physically abused her.

Even though Bez and I split up, I still had a rapport with her parents. They were very much like a second set of parents. After moving to San Diego, I would come visit them anytime I came to Denver. In 1995, I was going to see them, but Bez had moved back home with her daughter. That meant that I was going to have to deal with her somewhat. I was afraid that, after all she had been through, she was going get the idea that she could try to start things up again. I did not want that thought to enter her mind when she saw me I was staying with Rid. Bez really did not like Rid. Even though she was civil to him when we were spending time together, she made it clear she wished I didn't have anything to do with him. I begged Rid to come with me to her parents because if he was there, she would remember all the stuff she didn't like about me.

Rid agreed to go. He had never met her parents before, but they had heard plenty of things about him. Bez was on her way home from work when we got to the house, so we spent some time visiting with her parents. He seemed to get along with them pretty well. When Bez did come home, she recognized Rid, but didn't recognize me because I had really long hair. Her daughter was there and was walking around here and there. Bez said I could pick her up if I wanted to. I shook my head. There was no way I was going to let her see me bond with her child. Again, I didn't want to give her any ideas.

Rid and I left after a little while. Bez did not request to speak to me alone. I told her it was nice seeing her again. I don't think she really ever had any intention of getting back together, but I felt better knowing that I had taken every precaution to keep that from happening.

Bez managed to get custody of the girl and they continued to live with her parents. At one point, Bez was working at Incredible Universe and Rid ran into her there. I came through Denver once a few years later and saw her parents. Bez was at work, but her daughter was there. She was about eight years old at the time. The last time I saw her parents was in December of 2009. My cousin Jend had passed away. My brother Loyd and I drove to see Bez' parents. When I called them ahead of time, her father said that Bez was coming home from work at a certain time. I told him I didn't want to see Bez and that we would be coming over before she got home. While we were there visiting the parents, Bez' daughter was there, but she stayed in her room the whole time. She came out real quickly once to go to the bathroom, so I didn't really get to see her. The parents said she acted like a typical 17-year-old. However, I wonder if she would have taken a greater interest in the visitors if she knew I was one of her mother's ex-boyfriends, particularly the one she dated before meeting her father.

I still send them Christmas cards and will get their annual newsletters in return. The 2013 edition showed that she was living with some guy who also appeared to have job instability. The 2014 version didn't really give much information about her, but said that her father had prostate cancer and it had worked its way into his bones, so he may not be around much longer. (UPDATE: He passed away in 2015. I sent Christmas cards in 2015 and 2016, but I didn't get anything from her mother last time, so I won't be sending any more cards.)

One of the things I realized about myself later was that, if we had gotten married, I might have wound up having an affair. I mean, I wouldn't have actively sought one out. But if a woman came along with the qualities I desired and made it quite clear that she was interested, I would have a hard time turning her away. If Bez ever made any indication that she wanted to be with me again, I would have told her about this and agree that she had made the right decision in breaking up with me.

So, before I close out this chapter on Bez (and know that she'll be making several more appearances in this blog), I'll let you know a little tidbit that I'd forgotten to mention in the previous posts. In 1963, Bez and her family lived in Washington, DC, where her father worked for the Department of Labor. They went to John F. Kennedy's funeral. Bez doesn't remember it, but it's interesting to know that I dated someone who attended a Presidential funeral, especially his.

Girlfriend #3: Bez (Part 3)

Bez and I had a very good relationship. It was the kind I always wanted, where the affection we felt for each other didn't disappear just a few weeks after we started the hand-holding and kissing. We got along very well as friends. And I had a really good rapport with her parents, who liked that I had graduated from college. It seemed like everything was moving toward something bigger.

The first time I brought her to my apartment, we listened to some music. Very soon, we started making out. After rolling around on my mattress for a few minutes, I told her I was a virgin. She was a little shocked. I told her I wanted her to know that because I didn't want her to think that I was expecting our makeout session to turn into a takeoff session, as far as our clothes were concerned. She didn't seem to mind, but she told me she wasn't a virgin. I told her that didn't matter to me.

Most of the time, our makeout sessions took place in my car because her parents rarely let her come to my house. We always had trouble finding decent places to park because the cops loved finding the cars with the steamed-up windows. I never had an officer actually come up to the car, but a couple of times, they shined their beacon in our window. The prospect of us moving in together was never in consideration as both our parents looked down on that practice.

Even though I was a virgin, we eventually engaged in activity of a sexual nature. We never had actual sex, but I discovered that I enjoyed all the things that would lead up to it. At the time, I was still planning to wait until I was officially married. She seemed okay with it.

A couple of months in, I asked her what she expected her wedding to be like. While she answered the question, she was rather taken aback that I was already talking about the subject of marriage. Something that I interpreted about her was that she wanted to get married before she turned 30 years old. That turned out to be a correct assumption. For a period of time, I actually thought she might be the one I marry.

And we actually came close one time. In 1989, Re/Max held a balloon festival in Denver. KOA-AM 850 held a contest in which some lucky couple could get married in a balloon. They would provide the wedding rings, the food and some other gifts for about 25 guests. Bez agreed to go along with it, if we won. I wrote what I thought was a very good essay comparing how being in the balloon would make the world seem like it was revolving around us for once. We didn't win.

It turned out to be a moot point anyway. Bez had bought tickets for us to go that day. At the time, I was working a job in which I was there until 2am on Saturday night. I came over to her parents' house to spend the night so we could get a fresh start in the morning because we had to be there before 7am. As it turned out, it rained the night before. Traffic was backed up getting into the site. The instructions on the tickets said that we needed to put this placard on the rearview mirror so we could park. Bez was driving and I asked her to give me the placard. She wouldn't give me the placard. I was still cranky from not getting enough sleep, so I started YELLING at her to give me the placard. It was the only time I wasn't able to keep my cool around her. She still wouldn't give it to me. When we got up to the gate, the person directing traffic told us the festival had been canceled and we had to turn around and go back. My yelling turned out to be a moot point as well. She didn't say anything on the way back to the house. I could tell she was very upset.

But when we got back to the house, everything seemed okay. I crawled onto the couch in the den to finish my sleep. Bez climbed on top of me and I put my arms around her. We slept for a little while this way and her parents didn't say anything.

When we had discussed having an actual wedding, we were looking at March of 1990, when my parents would be on spring break. I never officially proposed to her, but was saving up money to get her an engagement ring.

Sometime later, I had a job that had me working even more ridiculous hours. I was there all day on a Saturday and didn't get out until 8pm. I called Bez to let her know I was on the way. She told me that she and her friend had declared it a "Girls Night Out" and I shouldn't come over. After a terrible day like that, all I wanted to do was spend time with my girlfriend and cool down. She wasn't going to let that happen. I told her that if drove down there and she and her friend hadn't left yet, we were going to see each other that night. She angrily told me not to do that.

Very soon after that, she told me that she wanted to wait a year before we made plans to get married. She said that we would still be boyfriend/girlfriend and we would still do things of a sexual nature, but we weren't going to be planning a wedding for March of 1990. I reminded her of her goal to get married before she was 30. She said that goal no longer mattered.

After that, I didn't really try that hard in the relationship. We would still be affectionate toward each other and still did a lot of stuff together, but I just felt like we were coasting until she decided she wanted to get married. I had actually saved up $1000 to buy an engagement ring. I was hoping she would change her mind if I went ahead and proposed. However, I lost the high-paying job at the time (the one that had me working ridiculous hours) and started working for minimum wage at a movie theatre.

Very soon after that, Bez called me one night. She said she needed to talk to me about something. I said, "Uh-oh." She told me that she thought we should start seeing other people. We could still be friends, but we'd no longer be boyfriend/girlfriend. I had a meltdown and started crying and yelling at her. I told her that what hurt the most was that she actually thought there was someone out there better for her than me. As it turned out (and as I'll go into detail tomorrow), I was correct on that point. There really was not a better person out there for her. I simply was the best she could do.

I was also hurt that she broke up with me over the phone. I was calling her before I came over so that she could give me money that she owed me. She had it in her head that she could just break up with me over the phone and then I would come by to pick up the money. I completely forgot about the money until later. Why didn't she just have me come over and break up with me then? I may have yelled at her before, but I'd never threatened her with violence. But I guess that's the way someone with the mentality of a 14-year-old thinks. I did eventually get that money.

We went out "as friends" one last time about a month later. There was a movie she wanted to see at the Esquire (where we had our first movie date) and I could get us in for free. I came to the house to pick her up. When I saw her, I gave her a long embrace. We went to the theatre and sat down. A few minutes into the movie, I started holding hands with her. She let this go on for about 30 seconds, then she took her hand away. I knew then that it was over.

Tomorrow, I'll go into detail about why I believe she decided to break up with me and all the stuff that happened after she did.

Girlfriend #3: Bez (Part 2)

So, Bez and I had gone on our first date (as friends). I was definitely hoping that we would be more than "just friends" and was getting signals that she wanted that as well. Very soon after, I had moved into my own apartment. My parents had been waiting for that day so they could bring up the stuff I had left at their house when I moved out of Clovis, NM. In fact, they came up the very next weekend.

I decided I would like them to meet Bez, especially after the experience they had with Marz. She was kind of hesitant at first, but I guess she could see this was important to me, so she agreed to go with us to eat and to a movie.

I told my parents about Bez before they came up. When I told Mom she was 28 years old, she said, "That's kind of old for you, isn't it." (Yeah, Marz was 4 years younger.) I guess Mom was afraid that she was really getting up there in age and wouldn't be able to produce grandchildren. (Remember, Mom was 21 when I was born.) At the time, I kept trying to emphasize the fact that Bez and I were just friends and it wasn't anything serious.

My parents came to see my apartment. Dad said something about me having two pillows on my bed. Mom reminded him that I had said that Bez and and were just friends. Later on, we went out to pick up Bez. She was still in her room getting ready. At the time, Bez' paternal grandmother was staying with them. My parents got to meet her parents and her grandmother. They seemed to get along well with Bez' parents.

We went out to eat at Red Lobster. At the station, we ran an ad for some restaurant with a jingle that featured a chant that went, "Who's got crab legs? (beat, beat, beat) WHO'S got crab legs? (beat, beat, beat) WHO'S GOT CRAB LEGS?" It wasn't a Red Lobster commercial, but it still made me want to try crab legs. (It turns out it was an ad for Sea Galley, which had a restaurant in Denver in 1988. I remember seeing the print ad, but I never saw the TV commercial before I posted that link. If I had, I probably wouldn't have wanted to eat crab legs.)

Bez had to show me how to crack open the legs and use the fork to get at the meat. It probably seemed to my Mom and Dad that we were kind of flirting with each other. I guess we were, but I was just trying to work my way to the meaty part of the legs.

We went out to see the movie "Punchline." Bez sat between me and Mom. Dad was on the other side of Mom. We liked the movie okay, but Mom was kind of disappointed. We drove Bez home. I walked her to the front door and we hugged for a bit before she went in. She said she really liked my parents, especially my Mom. Mom and Dad drove me over to Uncle Ord's house, where I had parked my car. They had to leave the next day, so we said our goodbyes then.

After they had gotten home, Mom called me and told me that she really liked Bez a lot and hoped that things would work out so that she would become a part of our family. However, she was kind of concerned that we didn't hold hands or anything during the movie. Mom was the one who got that we were just friends before she met her, so I was suprised that I had to remind her that we weren't really boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

Bez said she was interested in going to see the film "Bird," which was the closing presentation of the Denver International Film Festival. I was interested in seeing that and was surprised that she asked me to go with her. The tickets included the ability to get into the post-festival party at a nightclub called 23 Parrish in Denver. Without any prior discussion between us, we both decided to get really dressed up for the movie.

I'm particular about trying to show up early for everything. For class, for work, for social activities. I showed up 15 minutes early for this date. Bez wasn't ready yet, but I didn't think there was anything wrong with being early. Later, she told me she didn't like me showing up early and told me to never do it again in the future. ("In the future? That means you plan for us to go out more.")

We went to the movie at Landmark's Esquire Theatre. I had been there before, because that was where I saw my first foreign film in a theatre. I had seen "Wings of Desire." (More than a year later, I would be working for the Landmark Theatre chain.) We were lucky enough to find two empty seats together in the back row next to the aisle. I went and got us a soda. During the first 15 minutes of the movie, I reached over and held her hand. I could tell that my hand was still cold from holding the soda. She didn't seem to mind and we continued watching the movie.

After it was over, we went to the nightclub and danced to a couple of songs before deciding to call it a night. She actually thought I was a pretty good dancer.

I drove her home and walked her to the front door. We started hugging before I left. We hugged for a long time. Originally, I was planning to just give her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving, but after I pecked her, I kissed her some more and worked my way toward her mouth. We enjoyed a passionate kiss. I had to leave, but I knew at that moment, we were officially boyfriend/girlfriend.

One of the thoughts running through my head as I was driving home was that I had managed to do something that I never thought I'd be able to do: I actually STOLE a woman from some guy. After having someone do that to me, it felt pretty good and I didn't feel the least bit sorry for the other guy. Bez told me later that she went ahead and broke up with him.

Since this is the second post about Bez, I'll go ahead and reveal the major flaw with her. (Remember that my previous girlfriend was blind.) Bez actually had two flaws. The first was that she apparently had the mentality of a 14-year-old girl. I didn't notice this at first and no one in her family let on that this was an issue. She was able to function as an adult, but from time to time, she would do and say things that only a teenager would conjure up. The second thing was that, according to Mom and Loyd, she was ugly. I only saw her as beautiful, but they had issues with her nose (which I will admit was larger than normal for a woman). Years after we broke up, Loyd told me about how Mom felt about her and that she had made a comment that she was going to have to pay for nose jobs for the grandchildren. I was surprised because of what Mom said about having her join our family after the first time she met her. Understand that my Mom really liked Bez as a person and at the very least, she couldn't accuse me of being shallow, but she wanted a daughter-in-law who was more attractive.

Bez and I had a very good relationship. But as I will go into more detail in the next couple of posts, it ended in a very surprising manner and the aftermath was rather unbelievable.

You'll see what I'm talking about starting tomorrow.

Girlfriend #3: Bez (Part 1)

I met my third girlfriend ever the second night I worked at Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre in the Denver area. I was assigned to a kiosk behind the green. Interestingly enough, it turned out to be the kiosk I would manage toward the end of the season.

This was a hot dog kiosk. In addition to hot dogs, they sold Polish and German sausages, which were heated up and served right there. They were actually already overstaffed, so they had me just helping out at the roller grill. There was a woman there, who had been preparing the food. Her name was Bez. She had long blonde hair and slanted blue eyes. She told me which ones were the hot dogs, the Polish and the German. However, when she said "German," it came out as "Herman." Since just about everyone who worked for Fidder's was rather young, I thought she was about 18 years old. We started talking and kind of flirting with each other. She seemed to enjoy it. I found out a little later that she was actually 28 years old. I was impressed at how young she looked.

Pretty soon, I got sent over to a kiosk that was definitely understaffed. I got put on a register, which I was not expecting, especially since I hadn't gotten my Arapahoe County Liquor Server's ID yet. I worked there the rest of the night at that kiosk, but I had to go back to the kiosk where I started because my personal items were there. Bez was still working there, but things were wrapping up. I told Bez that it was very nice to meet her and I looked forward to seeing her again.

There was an afternoon concert the next day. I stayed in one kiosk the whole shift. During my break, I ran around the venue to the other kiosks to see if I could find Bez, but she wasn't anywhere. I was disappointed.

The next concert was two nights later. I was assigned to the back of one of the main concession stands. I was mopping the floor before the show started. I turned around and I saw Bez standing there. She was smiling at me. I said hello. She was sent to a kiosk in the courtyard outside the main stand. I went over to her kiosk when I got my break. She was getting her break at the same time. We went out to the green, watched the concert a little and ate our free hot dogs. We talked some. I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me.

I called her up a few days later. Her story was that she had lived in Los Angeles for the last six years. She had a good time there, but never could land steady employment. She decided to come back to the Denver area and try to get some solid footing by moving back in with her parents. She was working a temporary position doing demonstrations at King Soopers, which was the kind of work her mother was also doing. She had gotten hired at Fiddler's the same day I did, but didn't work the Friday night show because she had already bought tickets for it. After working the Saturday night that I met her, she felt really worn out and decided not to work the Sunday afternoon show. And she decided she wasn't going to work there anymore. (I wouldn't realize it until later, but this was why she had problems finding regular work.)

I told her we should try to get together and go do something sometime, like have lunch or go to a movie. She said she would like to do that. I called her up a couple of days later. Then she told me that she was seeing somebody and really didn't want to hang out with me. I was rather disappointed, but I wondered why she didn't mention this before.

A few weeks later, I was still thinking about her. I decided to send her flowers. Her address was easy to find because I had called and gotten the answering machine at her parents' before and her father listed the name of every person in that household. I found his name in the phone book and the address was listed. (I sure didn't need the Internet back then!) And yes, this was me in stalker mode, but I was working hard to tone that down.

She got the flowers and called me. She appreciated them (and didn't ask how I got her address). She agreed to go to lunch with me, as friends. At the time, we were doing a survey at Phone Survey, Inc. for Round the Corner restaurants. I had never eaten there before and she figured it was a good place for us to go hang out for a bit.

She told me that her parents were going to be there when I came to pick her up. She described her parents (who I will refer to as Mr. and Mrs. T) as being in their mid-50s. Her father had worked for the US Department of Labor and retired at the age of 50. He then went to law school, passed the bar and became a lawyer so he could work on behalf of Veterans Affairs. One of the things Bez warned me about was to not say anything about her mother's appearance. I didn't know what she was talking about.

So, the day of the lunch date came. I drove to their house. Her father was doing something to one of the cars in the driveway. He was just as I pictured him: Slightly bald and overweight with white hair. I introduced myself and he seemed pleased to meet me. He took me into the house. Bez was in the foyer. She seemed happy to see me. Then I saw this woman come down the stairs from the living room. She looked to be about 35. I thought she was Bez' older sister. Nope, I was wrong. It was her mother! THAT'S what she was talking about! I didn't say anything, but I know my eyes must have widened. I figured that looking youthful ran in the family. That was a good thing.

We had lunch and I drove her back home. Not once did I ask about the "boyfriend." I told her I had fun and we should hang out again. She said she would like that.

Our first "date" is a good place to stop today, because a whole bunch of stuff happened next before she officially became my girlfriend.

More tomorrow.

Radio Tease #9: The Lizard

(What's a Radio Tease? Click here!)

I'll let you know right now, this will be the last Radio Tease that I will ever write about. I had a few other women call me while at KSYY-FM in Denver, but I never met any of them and none of them really made a lasting impression on me. When I went to work at the newsradio station in San Jose starting in 2005, I never got any calls from radio teases there. Also, this is one of the few times I will use someone's actual first name (or what I believed to be her name).

Within the first few weeks of me working the Saturday and Sunday night shifts, I would get the occasional call from those women who enjoyed talking to DJs. Even though none of us were really on the air, a lot of people didn't really know that and would call us up requesting songs. We would even get calls from people trying to call another station's contest line, which had a phone number similar to our hotline. (These people would get mad at US because they didn't win!)

One Saturday night, I was talking to this one woman who had contacted other DJs in town. (I wouldn't refer to her as a Radio Tease. She wasn't trying to flirt or anything. She just wanted to talk.) She asked me if I had heard about "The Lizard." I told her I hadn't. She said that The Lizard was a woman whose name was "Elizabeth." However, she had a tendency to act schizophrenic (actually multiple personality disorder). Sometimes, she would say her name was "Liz," "Liza" or "Beth." She described her as looking like Sheila E and said that she was at least 18 years old, because she knew one DJ who had slept with her and he wouldn't have done that unless he knew for a fact that she was 18.

She also told me about one incident in which The Lizard was talking to a DJ at Y108. He invited her to come over to the station and meet him while he was on the air (which is something we all know YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO). It happened to be raining at the time. She told him she didn't have a car or any way of getting over there. He told her to just take a cab. So, she took a cab to the station and tried to get him to come outside and pay for the cab. She actually thought he had offered to pay for the cab. He wouldn't open the door and just left her outside in the rain to deal with the consequences of skipping out on a taxi fare.

The next night, I got a call from some woman. She asked me my name. I told her "Fayd." I asked for her name. She said, "Elizabeth." GASP! Was this The Lizard? She was very flirtatious during that first conversation and sometimes, the discussion would get a little inappropriate on her end. She asked when I worked and I told her Saturday and Sunday nights. She said she would call me the next weekend.

She called me back during the next couple of weekends. We usually talked for about a half hour each time. During the successive conversations, she was spinning this tale about how she was married to pro wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Without coming right out and saying it, she was trying to make me think that she was THE "Miss Elizabeth" of the World Wrestling Federation (which the WWE was known as at the time). She would tell me that Savage and Hulk Hogan were in her house at the time watching wrestling videos. At no point did I ever believe a word that she was saying. I was thinking, "What is it with these women and pro wrestlers?" I had a similar issue with Friez (although she picked one of the more obsure wrestlers), and Kiz, Chez and their younger sister Pid were into pro wrestlers, too.

I spent one Friday night hanging out with my girlfriend and her parents. We had all gone out to eat and came back to their house. Her father was also into pro wrestling, and NBC had started showing wrestling matches on TV on Friday nights. We came home in time to catch the last 15 minutes of a tag team match that featured Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan. Somehow, one of their opponents managed to knock Miss Elizabeth (the real one) unconsious and the EMTs transported her to the medic's office. Savage went with her, leaving Hogan in the ring. Hogan overcame his opponents and ran into the medic's office. He and Savage started yelling at each other. Hogan didn't like being left alone in the ring and Savage thought it was his responsibility to make sure Miss Elizabeth was okay.

On Saturday night, The Lizard called me. She started telling me about what happened to her the night before. She said she got knocked unconscious at a wrestling match. While she was kind of waking up in the medic's office, she could hear Savage and Hogan yelling at each other. I didn't really make any comment except, "Oh, that's terrible."

But this was bewildering to me! How could she have possibly known that I had watched WWF the night before? She's never gone into detail about matches previously, but why did she pick this one to tell me about? And what was the point? I just didn't get it. Of course, the answer was that she didn't know and there was no possible way for her to know. It was just a coincidence. And I know what you're thinking: That my girlfriend was pretending to be Miss Elizabeth, much like Marz did that one time. That wasn't possible. My girlfriend had a noticeable speech pattern that would have made it impossible for her to pass herself off as someone else.

The next night, The Lizard called me again. She was going on more about Savage and Hogan. Then, she suddenly said, "You don't believe that I'm the First Lady of pro wrestling, do you?" I told her no. "Why not?" I said something to the effect that it didn't seem possible that Miss Elizabeth would just call some DJ up out of the blue and start talking to him, especially in the manner in which The Lizard had been talking to me. That wound up being the last conversation I had with her.

Later, I wondered how many other DJs she called up that weekend and told them the same story. I doubt any of them took her seriously. I'm certain that if just one thought she was really Miss Elizabeth, they probably would have been surprised when they met her in person. I also wondered if that woman who told me about The Lizard in the first place was actually her. However, it didn't seem likely that she would have told me all that stuff about her being crazy.

Before writing this article, I tried to do some research to see if anyone else has ever written about The Lizard in the Denver radio market during the late 1980s. I was not able to find anything. I guess no one thought she was worth writing about until now.

The real Miss Elizabeth died in 2003. I wonder if The Lizard is still alive and if anyone still calls her that behind her back.

Job #9: KSYY-FM Era, 1988 - 1989 (Part 2)

One of the things I enjoyed most about working at a radio station that had satellite programming was that I got paid more than I did at KZZO-FM to do a whole lot less. Because almost everything was automated, I had plenty of time to run around the station, go downstairs and talk to the cute woman who worked the same shift at KHOW-AM, eat, talk on the phone, oh, and get some production done.

One of the things I had to do every once in awhile was come in and get critiqued by the Program Director. I had heard stories about my former co-workers moving to larger markets and getting their butts chewed out at least once a week by their Program Director during the aircheck review. This Program Director wasn't like that, but I did think a lot of his criticisms just seemed to exist just so I would try harder. All I could really do was the weather. I really couldn't try harder than that.

Everything was going fine for awhile. However, I had one night in which the woman who worked at midnight didn't show up. It turned out she had covered for one of the full-timers earlier that week and he was supposed to come in. I tried calling him, but I only got his answering machine. I guess he forgot to come in. At first, I thought, "No problem, I'll just do this until 6am." But around 2am, I started feeling REALLY tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open. I resorted to calling up the Program Director. He told me that I could get the cute woman from KHOW-AM to watch both stations at the same time since she was working overnight that night. I have no idea how much trouble that full-timer got into.

I guess around this time, my job at Phone Survey, Inc. had me working 9am to 5pm on Saturdays and 1pm to 9pm on Sundays. I requested that my shifts change to Saturday night and Sunday morning. The Program Director didn't express any problem with this and was able to make this happen.

Everything seemed to be going okay. Then we had an air staff meeting early in November. The Program Director discussed some upcoming promotions. He also announced how things were going to go for getting Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's off. We were all supposed to write down which two holidays we were willing to work and which one we wanted off and he would try to accommodate, but made no guarantees. Up to this point, I had always spent my Christmas with my family. (Up until the previous year, I had spent every Thanksgiving with them, but Marz wrecked that streak for me.) The schedules came out, but I did not get Christmas off. I asked the Program Director if something could be done. He said he would work on it.

A few days later, he called me at work at Phone Survey, Inc. I thought he was going to ask me to cover someone's shift. He said that he was going to have to take me off the regular schedule and put on the stand-by staff. This meant that I would only work when they really needed me. I was stunned. He said he couldn't accommodate my Christmas request and my working Saturday nights and Sunday mornings was causing problems with the air staff. He had already made up his mind and hired someone to take my place. However, he said I could still come to the KHOW/KSYY Christmas party.

In my mind, this made him a worse boss than Crad. I mean, things were stressful under Crad, but he would let me know right away when I was doing something he didn't like. He gave me a chance to correct things before he was going to fire me. But this Program Director gave no indication that my schedule requests were going to lead to me being let go from the regular air staff. If he had said something about me not working the same shift on Saturday and Sunday, I could have just quit Phone Survey and found another job.

Even though I was the low man on the totem pole at KZZO, I always got Christmas off. It was never a problem. I didn't expect it to be a problem at KSYY. When I told the Program Director I couldn't work Christmas, he could have said, "If you don't work Christmas, you're not working here anymore." I would have immediately told him, "I'll work Christmas. Don't worry about it." I never expected him to be passive-aggressive.

I needed that radio job more than anything because, at the time, I felt like that was what defined me. Later, my life would just take on new definitions.

So, I went to that Christmas party. It was held at Union Station on board the Altschul train cars. These were private cars used by the Altschul family for various trips across the USA. It was a nice party, plenty of good food. I was glad I went. The Program Director was there, but I didn't talk to him.

I did get called back in a couple of time to cover shifts early in 1989. And if I wanted to, I could make use of the production studio to create airchecks for future radio applications. But I never did that.

A short time after that, the new owners took over the operations of the station. Then the Program Director announced he was leaving the station. After this took place, I came to the station, went up to the third floor and spoke to the General Manager. I asked him, "Do I still work here?" He shook his head, "No." That was it. I no longer worked in radio and wouldn't for another 16 years.

One of the things I have to consider is that, even if I continued to work regular shifts there, something else probably would have come along to screw things up for me, like when the station changed owners again later in 1989.

When that happened, KSYY-FM became KHOW-FM. It has stayed that way ever since.

The Program Director went to a country/western station in Phoenix, where he worked for 22 years. He doesn't appear to be doing radio now, but runs his own voiceover business. As far as everybody else I worked with, I don't really remember all of their names, so I can't look them up.

Ever since then, I stopped putting so much importance on seeing my family for Christmas. As it turned out, I would only be with my parents for Christmas in 1988 and 1989 (both without Loyd), but never again after that. There's a part of me that wishes I had chosen my job over being with them, because it was a choice I wound up making many more times in the future.

Job #9: KSYY-FM Era, 1988 - 1989 (Part 1)

After failing to get a job at KLMO, I wondered if I had what it took to get some sort of job in the Denver radio market. After moving to the area in July of 1988, I made the rounds of all the radio stations, dropping off my resume and airchecks. I actually was not expecting to get a job there after I had failed so miserably in a small market like Clovis, NM.

After I had gotten the job with Phone Survey, Inc., I got a phone call from the Program Director of KSYY-FM. He said he had listened to my aircheck and was rather impressed with my production abilities. He said he had a part-time position available and asked me to come in for an interview. He explained that the station ran satellite programing most of the time and I would basically be a baby-sitter, but he needed people with real radio experience for the job. I wanted any radio job in Denver, so I knew I couldn't just wait for one of the other stations where I REALLY wanted to work, like Y108 or KBPI, to come along and make me an offer.

KSYY-FM was the sister station of KHOW-AM. KSYY basically played "soft favorites." It was Adult Contemporary with an emphasis in music going back about 25 years. Some modern A/C music would get played, but since the format featured "no-repeat workdays," none of the songs got played more than once per day.

Both stations were in the same three-story building. KHOW-AM's studio and staff were on the first floor. KSYY's was on the third. The second floor mostly comprised the sales and business offices. It was much larger than what I was used to with KZZO-FM in Clovis. I really felt like this was big-time radio. I arrived in the lobby and someone took me up to the third floor to meet the Program Director.

The Program Director was about 40 years old and did the morning drive show. He had previously worked at a couple of radio stations in Chicago and at KIMN in Denver (which was one of the stations that I had sent a resume to, but went out of business before I got there). He had quite a bit of experience. He said that the music on the station mostly appealed to women in their late 30's to early 40's. He said they were the kind of women who still "creamed in their pants" when they heard Neil Diamond sing.

He knew I had been working at Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre because I had to give him the name of my current employer so he could contact them as a reference. They told him good things about me. He said he had heard that one of the more recent acts made some crack on stage about bringing a sandwich in. I told him I had been in the audience at that time because I was on my break and told him exactly what the performer said. He thought it was funny. He went on to say that the idea for Fiddler's Green was that people would be able to come out, spread a blanket on the lawn portion and have a picnic there, but the confiscation of outside food was not anticipated.

He then took me on a tour of the station. We didn't just walk around the KSYY floor, we also went down to KHOW-AM on the first floor. He said that it wasn't uncommon for KHOW to ask KSYY staff to work air shifts there. He said he couldn't promise me that would happen, but it was certainly something I could anticipate. During the tour, I got to meet their newsradio team. I remember this one really attractive woman who was probably about three years older than me, but I never saw her again.

After the tour, the Program Director said he would contact me if he wanted to put me on the schedule. Sure enough, he called me and wanted me to start that first weekend after the Fiddler's season had ended. He had me come in during the week and train. I was taken rather aback by the guy who trained me. He looked like a slightly younger version of Dr. D, but had a voice exactly like Snid. It turned out he had been a full-time radio DJ in St. Louis, but somehow wound up in Denver. From what other people told me, he was really good, but the people in charge wouldn't let him do a live show on the station. Interesting enough, everyone else who worked at the station was in their 20's. It was like we all had to go there to pay our dues, but not really get to do anything live unless KHOW requested our help on their station.

I started out working the six to midnight shift on Saturday and Sundays. My first night there was uneventful. Everything happened like it was supposed to. One of the things I was supposed to do was record the weather announcements to be played between midnight and six. I got those done in fairly short order. During my announcements, I got to introduce the next song. It was the closest I got to being a real DJ in Denver.

The woman who worked the weekend overnight shift showed up. The first thing she said when she saw me was "Who are you?" I guess she was used to seeing a new face working six to midnight pretty frequently.

After that first shift, I drove around for the next hour and a half so I could hear myself doing the weather on the air. I was amazed that I had made it to a big city radio station like that. I wondered how many people out there were actually listening. Probably not a lot.

I knew I could leave my horrible radio experience from Clovis far behind me. I had made it. However, you know something was destined to come along and ruin everything for me and it came very unexpectedly.

I'll get to that tomorrow.

Job #8: Phone Survey, Inc. Era, 1988 - 1989

Prior to working at The Doctors Group, I had responded to a classified ad for people to do phone surveys. I called and was told to come in and fill out an application. The business was located in this building. It was at the end of the hall on the second floor. I arrived filled out the application, read a couple of scripts for the woman who was hiring and that was it. I was told if she wanted to hire me, she would call me back in a couple of days.

Those couple of days passed and I didn't hear anything, so I figured they didn't want me. That was how I wound up working at The Doctors Group. After I got fired from there and hired by Fiddler's Green, I didn't have to worry about applying for a job after awhile. However the Fiddler's Green season was coming to a close and I knew I was going to have to start a new job search. I wasn't looking forward to that.

As it turned out, I didn't really have to worry about that because I got a phone call from the woman at Phone Survey asking if I was still interested in being hired. I told her I could do it, but I had a commitment to Fiddler's Green, so I wouldn't be able to work the nights that we had concerts for the next few weeks. She didn't have a problem with that. I went back to the office and she wanted to hire me and set a date for my training. The afternoon I arrived, it was me and this other woman who were new hires. A man trained us. He was pretty straightforward about how we go about doing surveys. It seemed to be a lot easier than trying to set appointments for chiropractors.

The guy who trained me and another man were the night supervisors. The other man was one of those bosses who could be really mean and critical of your work. However, when you did your job right, he turned out to be a really nice guy. I found this out rather quickly. I took to the job so well that I actually got a raise before I received my first paycheck. I was kind of excited about being good at something for once.

I never really had a set schedule. Mostly I worked at night because we were trying to catch people at home. But we would have surveys that involved calling up businesses during the day. I liked those surveys better because it allowed me to have more of a social life.

I didn't get too much pushback from the people I called. It was my pleasant voice that helped me get a lot of surveys completed. However, I did have one woman who tried the old "can I have your number" routine. I actually gave her my phone number. "Well, can I call you at all hours and interrupt what you're doing?" "Why, certainly! I get awful lonely sometimes." She just hung up the phone. She never tried to call me.

One thing you need to understand about doing phone surveys is that they're really not supposed to take more than five minutes. Most people don't mind giving up five minutes of their time to talk about topics that interest them. The whole time I was there, we probably had only a couple of surveys that interested people: One that was commissioned by KOA-AM about local talk show hosts and another about cable TV service. But it seemed like the least interesting the topic, the longer the survey was.

We sometimes would get to do some pre-liminary run-throughs of the surveys before we did the official tallies. We would tell the marketing agencies that the surveys took at least ten minutes and that they should consider leaving out some of the questions so that we'll get more responses. EVERY TIME we made that recommendation, the surveys would come back with EVEN MORE questions and took at least 15 minutes. Then, the marketing agencies would get on our case about and inquire as to why the surveys were taking too long to do. I could always tell when a survey started out at five minutes, but then some head honcho would go, "While we've got them on the phone, let's find out about this, this and this." And they were too cheap to just commission a new survey. If they were a lot for this service, they were determined to get their money's worth on this one shot.

After a few months, I was promoted to a supervisory position. I didn't get to work as supervisor all the time, but it was a nice break to not have to make the phone calls every single day. At one point, the office manager told us that as supervisors, the company was going to pay for our health insurance. We were pretty excited about that. However, they never told us when that was going to go into effect. Six months later, we still didn't have insurance. The owner (who was not the office manager) kept telling us we had to wait for open enrollment, but wouldn't tell us when that was going to be. One of the other supervisors had something happen and really needed to see a doctor, but couldn't get a straight answer on whether or not she was covered. I think she wound up paying a lot of money to the doctor.

Aside from problems with the people we called and us not having health insurance, there were other work-related issues we had to deal with. The first was that work was not guaranteed. If we didn't have any survey contracts, there was no work and we didn't get paid. This would probably happen for one or two weeks at a time once every three months. (I understand it got way worse after I left.) Another issue was the break schedule. If we worked four hours, we got a 15 minute paid break. Six hours meant two paid 15 minute breaks and eight hours was three paid 15 minute breaks. We did not have scheduled times to take our breaks. If we wanted to, we could work seven hours and 15 minutes straight and take off 45 minutes early. However, if we went to the bathroom, we had to take those minutes off our break time. The owner tried to initiate a policy in which, if you got up to go to the bathroom, you had to go ahead and take a full 15 minute break at that time. The guy who trained me quit over that issue. The owner then changed her mind about putting that policy into effect, but the guy never came back. Come to find out later that the way she distributed the breaks was against the law as we're supposed to get a 30 minute unpaid break when we work at least six hours. On top of that, if the owner wanted to yell at you for doing something wrong, she would attempt to do it while you were on break. That was also against the law.

After I had been working there about a year, I was able to get a job working as a DJ at a nightclub in Aurora. It paid more money and I was tired of waiting for health insurance, so I just went to the office and quit. I didn't really turn in a resignation or anything. (This was during one of our down periods, so it didn't really cause much of an impact.)

Several years later, I went to the building, but another business was in its place. One of the problems the company had was trying to switch over to computerized surveying. The owner kept trying to contract with someone else to pay for all the computers, but I guess she just couldn't make it work.

I found out recently that the office manager who hired me had died some time ago. I found her daughter's Facebook page. Her daughter also worked there and was an occasional supervisor. One odd thing about her Facebook page is that she posted a photo of herself after she had apparently gotten beaten up. I have no idea what happened.

But I would eventually get a job that required me to make a bunch of phone calls and ask a lot of questions of people who were typically too busy to talk to me. That was when I working as a reporter for a newsration station in San Jose. I mean, I got plenty of rejections, but at least no one got on my case for calling them during dinner.

Close Call #2: Caz

(What's a Close Call? Click here!)

I met Caz during the final show of Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre's first season. Toward the final few weeks of the summer, Canteen Services stopped hiring new employees and resorted to hiring tempoary help. Some of these people were good workers, others weren't. As kiosk manager, I had the power to prevent a temp employee from coming back by circling an area of their temp form. I used that power frequently during the last four nights.

Caz was a temp employee that night. We had so many temp employees on hand that we ran out of the uniform puke-green shirts for everyone to wear. She wore a white knit shirt with long sleeves. She was Hispanic and was very cute. When I was at work, I was usually too busy to try to start anything with the female employees, but I took an instant liking to her and felt a connection. After we had closed the kiosk and I was signing everyone's temp forms, I asked her if I could have her phone number. She actually gave it to me.

I called her up a couple of days later. I found out that she had recently moved up to Denver after graduating from high school in Colorado Springs. She didn't know what she wanted to do. She wasn't going to college at the time and was trying to figure stuff out. She was living with an aunt and uncle and cousins. I asked her if there were any movies out that she was interested in seeing. She said she hadn't seen "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" yet. I asked her if she wanted me to take her and she agreed. I was surprised. Wow, I've only been up here a couple of months and I'd already landed dates with two different women. It made me wish it had been that easy in high school, college and the first year I was living in Clovis, NM.

For whatever reason, proabably because of the job I had at the time, we arranged our date to see the 9pm showing at the movie theatre in Littleton where I had seen the movie the first time. (Back then, big hit movies stuck around in the theatres for several months before going to home video. Interestingly enough, this was a trend that would change drastically the next year with Tim Burton's "Batman.") She told me that her aunt and uncle lived at the intersection of Yale and Yale. Actually, it was E. Yale Ave. and E. Yale Dr., but it was the second one coming from I-25. She told me to just drive up and park on the street and she would come outside. She didn't want me to meet her family because she was afraid her cousins would give me a hard time. I drove up and sure enough, she actually came out of the house. Since it was late, we didn't make any plans to go eat.

I didn't realize at the time that I was a considerable distance away from the movie theatre. She asked why I didn't choose a theatre closer to her house. I told her it was because I knew how to get to this one. (I had only been in town a couple of months and was still learning my way around.) It didn't matter, because we still got there in plenty of time.) We bought our tickets, got some snacks and soda and went into the theatre. We were the only two people in the audience, so it was like a private screening. I liked how that worked out.

After the movie began, I got brave and started holding her hand. I interlocked fingers and was suprised to see that she was allowing it. We held hands the entire movie and on the way out to the car. I was very pleased with how this was going. I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat after the movie, but she said it was late and asked me to drive her home. When we got back to her aunt and uncle's house. We quickly hugged in the car and said good night. I didn't try for a kiss, not even a quick peck on the lips. I watched her go into the house and then I left.

I called her a few days later, hoping we could go out again. However, while she had a good time on the date, she admitted that she still had a boyfriend in Colorado Springs. I guess she didn't think I was worth leaving her boyfriend for. I can't really say I blame her, but I didn't get real upset about this. At least she was honest about it and we hadn't kissed yet, so I wasn't that invested. Anyway, I was still working on trying to get this other woman to go out on a date with me. This was a situation I wasn't used to.

I actually saw Caz one last time. About a month later, I was at a concert at McNichols Sports Arena with that woman I had been working on (because she had actually become my girlfriend at that point). After the show, we were trying to find the exit where my car was parked. I had my arm around her. Suddenly, I saw Caz coming toward us. She was wearing a brown dress and appeared to be with a female friend (maybe one of her cousins). My eyes widened when I saw her. However, she didn't see us. I realized that if I thought Clovis was too small a town to try to juggle more than one woman, Denver was ALSO too small to get away with it.

I called Caz up a couple of days later. I asked her if she enjoyed the concert. She asked me how I knew she was there. I told her I saw her and she had passed right by me and my girlfriend. I think she was relieved to hear I had a girlfriend and wasn't going to try to ask her out again. We talked a little bit more, but I never called her again after that.

Because she has a rather common name, I cannot find out where she is right now. Even though this relationship didn't go in a direction I wanted it to, I'm glad I got to go out with her that one time. It made me feel like I was reaching my potential when it came to dating women and figuring out when to make the right moves. I'd had some help in that department with Paz. (I guess I should give Paz credit for something.)

Overall, I'm glad we could part with good memories of each other, but I doubt she has ever thought of me since.

Real Life Friend: Rid

Looking back, I realized I didn't have any actual friends in the two years after I had graduated from college. I mean, there were a couple of people I went to school with who stopped by the house during the summer of 1986, but that was it. The people I socialized the most were those I worked with. So, it came as a total shock to me in Denver that someone wanted to hang out with me.

I met Rid during my third day working at Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre. He was 19 at the time, tall and had short dark hair. We were both working at the same kiosk. I was cashiering and he was getting any food and drinks that were being ordered by my customers. These two women ordered beers and Rid said, "No! Don't sell them any beer!" I asked why. "Well, look at them." By that, he meant that we had been told that if customers appeared to be really drunk, we weren't supposed to serve them. But I had no idea what "really drunk" looked like aside from someone being passed out on the ground, so I went ahead and sold them the beers.

While we were working, Rid and I talked a bit more to each other between orders. I don't remember much of the discussion because so much was going on. We would continue to work together. More often than not, we were in the back kitchen at one of the main stands. There were a couple of other guys who worked with us, and we became a bit of a team. One night, Rid found out that all of us played instruments and said we should try getting a band together. We went to the house of one of the other guys. Somehow, somebody was able to get some beer. We sat around in the basement, talked about what kind of band we should have, what kind of songs we should write and generally griped about the way the supervisors treated us, particularly this one female, who we admitted being attracted to. We discussed writing a song about her and were tossing around ideas for lyrics, like "It'll be a cold day in hell before I f*** you!" I went home and actually wrote that song, but with different lyrics.

One night after work, Rid wanted to hang out before going home. He wanted to drive around town a bit. First we had to drive to my uncle Ord's house to drop off my car. We started driving up I-25. Rid decided we should go to Perkins Restaurant to get something to eat. So we drove all the way over to Lakewood. Perkins was on the opposite side of the street, so Rid got into the left hand lane and made a U-turn when the light turned green. He said to me, "I didn't see a 'No U-Turn' sign, did you?" I wasn't really paying attention. Rid parked the car. We walked toward the front door. The next thing we knew, there were lights flashing behind us and someone was yelling, "Hold it right there!" We turned around. It was the cops!

"What did we do wrong, officer?" he asked. "Didn't you see that 'No U-Turn sign?'" "No." "Well, you're going to get a ticket!" Rid gave the officer his ID and had go to into the car and get his registration and proof of insurance. I had to stand there next to the front door. While he was getting that, another patrol car pulled up. After he gave the information to the officer, he came back to join me. Then, we saw another patrol car come into the parking lot, but this one made a U-turn at the same light we were at. Rid started walking toward the officer to protest. "You just stay right where you are!" "But that police car just made a U-turn there! I shouldn't have to get a ticket!" "That's different!" After about 20 minutes, they finally gave Rid a ticket and left. We went inside the restaurant. Rid said, "Well, that's the first time I've ever gotten a ticket... in Lakewood!"

We sat down and Rid ordered something that wasn't on the menu. He wanted some toast with parmesan cheese on it. I've never tried to order anything that wasn't on the menu. I still don't to this day. I don't remember what I ordered, but I know it was probably something light. I'd already had my fill of hot dogs, pretzels and nacho cheese at work.

I didn't realize it at the time, but an encounter with police early in a friendship is a true bonding experience. If it hadn't been for that, we probably would have gone our separate ways after the season at Fiddler's ended. Nothing more happened with the Wergens and I never saw the two other guys again.

I will be writing pretty extensively about my adventures with Rid while I cover the period of my life in which I lived in Denver. There's so much that happened, I can't really cover it in just a couple of posts and be done with it. He was a major part of my life during the three years that I lived in Denver.

There are just a couple of things you need to know about Rid. First, he made friends very easily. There was so much going on in his life that I wasn't really a part of. There were mutual people that we knew, but I didn't realize how closely my identity was tied with him until I showed up at Rock Island by myself and saw several people we knew there. Every one of them, upon seeing me, would ask, "Where's Rid?" I really didn't have very many other friends.

Rid was rather popular with women. You wouldn't think it to look at him, but he had that kind of winning personality that went over well with everyone he met. You need to know that Rid was a romantic chameleon. If a woman he met was a vegetarian, he would become a vegetarian, and a rather pushy one at that. If a woman he liked was into skinheads, then he became a skinhead and would spout out racist propaganda. But as soon as it was over with the woman in question, he would go right back to being his regular self.

Since I left Denver, Rid has been married three times, joined the Navy, had two sons from two different women (one of whom was born while I still lived in Denver) and now has two grandkids, both of whom were born before my son. He now lives in Leavenworth, KS. I only ever met his second wife and have spent time with both of his sons. We remain friends on Facebook.

So, look for Rid to make numerous appearances on this blog. If it wasn't for him, I would have had no social life in Denver.

The thankless task of selling alcohol and food

I had only worked at a concession stand only once in my life. During my senior year in high school, officials decided to do away with hiring high school students to work the concession stands at the Bulldog Bowl during Friday night football games. I knew the girls who did that. They were upset that they lost a temporary source of income. The officials instead decided that the school clubs would have to earn their funding by working the concession stands. This was a bad idea. This meant that the stands had a different staff every week that was learning to do the job. If a major problem arose, no one knew how to deal with it because they weren't there on a regular basis. There were two concession stands. One on the home side, the other on the visitors' side. You were lucky if you were working the visitors' side. There was never a line and everyone was quickly taken care of. When I worked for the Drama Club, I started at the visitors' side. Then they made me go to the home side. EVERYTHING WAS CHAOS THERE!

That was just a hint of what I would encounter at Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre in the Denver area. But there was a new element: alcohol. I had no experience dealing with thousands of people who had been drinking nor people who got belligerent when they were drunk.

One of the things I didn't like about Fiddler's Green was that every cashier station sold beer and wine. In the main concession stands, every line had their own beer and wine taps for faster service. I would have preferred they have "Alcohol Only" kiosks manned by our burlier employees. But it's obvious that being able to get beer and wine anywhere you go increases the amount that can be sold and would beat having to make our customers go through two different lines.

Another problem with alcohol sales was that everyone who cashiered was required to get alcohol server permits from Arapahoe County. The funny thing was that you could get a servers permit when you were 18, but you couldn't legally drink alcohol until you were 21 in Colorado. We also had an issue with the fact that we were not permitted to provide lids and straws for our drinks. So a lot of people who bought two beers had to walk VERY carefully back to their seats. I know a lot of people spilled their beers and sodas all over the place.

The worst aspect of all this was that there were times when we couldn't serve everyone. One of the regulations regarding sales of alcohol was that once the main act started performing after intermission, we were forced to stop selling alcohol. Everybody who was still in line when the taps were removed were out of luck. My first Saturday evening and Sunday afternoon working there had two sold out shows by a well-known performer whose fans are referred to as "parrotheads." (And mind you, there were very few people who were capable of selling 36,000 tickets in Denver.) ALL these people were beer drinkers. When we shut down alcohol sales, there were still THOUSANDS in line. I thought a riot was about to break out. The stupid thing was that everybody was getting mad at us because they thought we didn't want to sell them beer. No matter how much we explained that the Arapahoe County Sheriff's Department was making us cut off the booze, they wanted to blame us. People started yelling things like, "Fiddler's Green sucks! Red Rocks is better!" It felt like the Bulldog Bowl concession stand all over again.

And that brings us to another point. Red Rocks is a legendary venue. The top recording artists LOVE playing there and it was very audience friendly. The day of a concert, people can start arriving several hours early. They're able to bring their picnic lunches, drinks and as much booze as they can carry in one trip. At Fidder's Green, if someone tried to bring in outside food and drinks, it was swiftly confiscated by security. Some people assumed that security ate the food. Nope, it was thrown away.

And our food was real cruddy. We had pretzels, pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, ham sandwiches and french fries sold at excessive prices. They all started out frozen and we baked them in the ovens. Most of the time, we would be in such a rush to get more pretzels in the oven, so we would just pull the other stuff out pre-marturely and hope it continued cooking under the heat lamps before somebody ate them. (As it was, the pretzels were our #1-selling food item. At $1.50 each, they were the cheapest thing on the menu. We never wanted to run out of those.) We also had popcorn, that had been made hours before we opened. We also had nachos. I loved the taste of nacho cheese on the pretzels, but I hated having to clean the vat.

The next to last show that first season was a big beer crowd. However, it was a mature beer crowd. I managed the hot dog kiosk. We always had the regular condiments: ketchup, mustard and relish. For this one show, those in charge brought over this gigantic jar of Grey Poupon. They said it was because we had an "upscale" crowd that night. I looked at that jar and KNEW that someone was just going to come up and take it. Upscale crowd or not, that concert was the only time the whole season that we SOLD OUT of beer. Nothing was coming out of the tap, we sold all the bottled beer in the fridge and we weren't going to be getting any more kegs because intermission was almost over. We had a whole crowd of people who suddenly left our kiosk and ran to the next one about 20 yards away, but I'm pretty certain they were sold out of beer, too. After they left, I looked at the condiment counter. I saw the Grey Poupon jar. It had been scraped completely clean, BUT IT WAS STILL THERE! I had underestimated the integrity of this crowd.

I was doing my final closing that night. We had finished cleaning up and I had sent the employees to clock out. I had lowered the flaps on the kiosk and started doing the paperwork. A couple of guys from supplies had come by to get the empty kegs. All of a sudden, this man walked in under the flaps and said, "Hey, man! Sell me a beer." "I can't sell you a beer. We're closed." "Well, there was a big crowd earlier and I didn't want to wait. I need to get a beer!" "Even so, I don't even have any beer here. We sold out." He finally left. I was glad those supplies guys were there. I'm pretty certain he would have started throwing stuff around if he didn't get his beer and I was there all by myself.

A couple of years later, I was the Assistant Manager at the Mayan Theatre in Denver. The Manager once proudly announced that the powers that be were considering getting us a liquor license so that we could sell beer and wine in the upstairs concession stand. My first thought was, "No, I can't deal with that that. I'm traumatized." He saw it as a real moneymaker. (He would. He got a percentage of the concession sales.) However, he added, "But they're not going to be able to take the drinks into the auditorium, and we're going to have to post people by the doors to make sure they don't take them into the auditorium." I said, "Why are we bothering then?" I could just see all the fights breaking out and beer and wine getting spilled all over our carpets. I think someone figured out it was a bad idea and didn't follow up on it. But I knew what we would be in for.

The one thing I learned from all this is that I never would have been able to be a bartender. I'm glad I never tried.

Job #7: Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre Era, 1988 - 1989

I became aware of Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre the day I arrived in the Denver area. It was an 18,000-seat music venue. 1988 was the its premiere season and it had stirred up a lot of controversy in the first few weeks that I was in town. There were complaints about noise all the time. City officials were threatening to shut it down. The unions objected because the employees of Canteen Services, which provided concessions, weren't in a union. There were also complaints about traffic on event days.

The day after I got fired from The Doctors Group, I was going through the classifieds. Fiddler's Green had an ad looking for concession employees. Since it was only about three miles away from my Uncle Ord's house, I thought it would be a good place to work. When I arrived, there were a lot of people filling out applications. (One of the things I knew I was NOT going to do was put The Doctors Group down as a previous employer. I figured they wouldn't notice I hadn't been employed in three weeks.) We were told that when we finished, we were to stand in line and wait to be interviewed.

There were different people who would come up and get the next person in line to interview. When I got close to the front, there was some confusion and the manager wound up interivewing two of us at the same time. He took us into the general seating area. He told us about what the job entailed and asked us about what we had done before. We both gave generic answers, but neither one of us had done food service. He just went ahead and hired us both on the spot. He told us to show up the next day and they would tell us where to go. He gave us these green visors. He said those would get us into the employee entrance. We were also told to wear black slacks, NO JEANS. I guess they hired just about everyone who showed up that day.

The next day, I parked my car on the outside of the horseshoe-shaped street that surrounded the amphitheatre. I started walking toward the entrance. On my way there, I noticed another person who was also carrying a visor. I asked if he also worked at Fiddler's Green. He said he did and that he had been there since the season opened. On our way, we ran into someone from the union handing out flyers and trying to get people to boycott the place. The guy I met said he didn't care about a union, he was just happy to have a job.

Concessions had numerous kiosks set up around the perimeter of the amphitheatre. There were two main concession stands on each side of the venue. When I showed up, I was assigned to the back kitchen of one of those main concession stands. It was rather chaotic. It was me and whole bunch of other new hires who had absolutely no idea what to do. There was someone running around barking orders. I suddenly realized what it must be like to work in a fast-food restaurant. After the opening act started, things calmed down. We were able to collect ourselves and prepare for the rush at intermission.

After the intermission rush, they started sending people on breaks. During our breaks, we were given these tickets so that we could collect our free hot dog and soda during the shift. We were also permitted to go out and watch part of the concert during our break. We were allowed to go onto the grassy part of the amphitheatre to watch. I enjoyed taking a break like this, but it was very easy to lose track of time and forget that you were supposed to be back in 15 minutes.

(Before I was hired, they had apparently had a big problem with lots of people quitting in the middle of their shift so they could go see one of the biggest tours of the year without having to buy a ticket. One of the things they had given me when I was hired was a list of rules. One of them stated that if you quit in the middle of your shift, you would be escorted off the premises and not allowed back in.)

As I mentioned earlier, there were a lot of complaints from nearby residents about the noise coming out of the venue. It got so bad that it was featured regularly on the local TV news. There were all kinds of threats to shut it down. I had to watch the news on event days to figure out whether or not I was going to be able to go to work. Somehow, compromises got worked out and we were able to stay open for the rest of the season.

One of those compromises was earlier start times. The bad thing about this was that if you bought a ticket before the compromise, it had the original start time. That meant many people showed up an hour late and missed the opening act. People were coming up to the concession stands to complain. What made them think we were in charge?

One issue with working shifts was that many of the kiosk managers in the beginning of the season really didn't know how to manage. Some of the other co-workers and I had determined that they got their positions because their parents knew people in charge and were able to secure positions that were higher up the chain, even though they had no previous work experience. By the end of the season, most of these managers had left. This meant that people like me, who were hired in the middle of the season got promoted to assistant kiosk manager and up to the position of kiosk manager. This is what happened to me. I was a kiosk manager for the final three shows of the season. But I still really didn't know what I was doing. There was no training for being a manager. They just threw me into it.

I came back the next season in 1989. The one big change was that they put up these walls on the north and south sides of the amphitheatre. I really didn't like it because I had enjoyed being able to see the Rocky Mountains in the early part of the evening. I guess they did that to cut down on the noise.

Canteen Services also did things very differently that year. Instead of having countless employees at the kiosks, they allowed local organiztions, like the Jaycees, come in and work the kiosks to earn funding for their causes. There would only be one Canteen employee at each kiosk to help things go smoothly. I was put in charge of the back kitchen at first, but when the first show turned out to be a disaster in the back, that position was taken from me and given to someone else.

In the end, it didn't matter because I found a different job in the middle of the season that had me working nights. I had to quit.

But this job had a deep impact on my life in Denver. That was where I met the person who would become my best friend and the person who would become my next girlfriend. I'll be writing about them in later posts.

I'll also be writing more about my experiences at Fiddler's Green. There was so much that happened there, I couldn't put it all in this one post. I'll also be getting to those soon.

Job #6: The Doctors Group Era, 1988

After I found out I didn't get the job at the radio stationradio in Longmont, I needed to start looking for an actual job in Denver. The first thing I did was prepare airchecks and go around to all the radio stations to apply. The one thing I should have done when I first sent out resumes was to include the airchecks. I probably would have gotten a lot more call backs if I had done that. However, this gave me an opportunity to see where all the stations were located.

I had also been scanning the classified advertisements in the Denver Post and the Rocky Mountain News looking for radio jobs. I never saw any listed, but I did see a listing for someone wanting to hire a DJ. I figured it wasn't radio-related, but I knew how to DJ. The ad specified that they would be taking calls until 3:00 that afternoon. I saw the ad around 2:30pm. I kept calling, but no one picked up the phone. I figured they already found who they were looking for, but I still got angry that they weren't even willing to pick up the phone and explain that to whoever happened to call.

After hitting up all the local radio stations, I started looking for other lines of work in the classifieds. One of the things that I frequently saw were ads for telemarketers. I had received telephone solicitations before. While I know I didn't like them (and had given some of them a hard time in the past), I thought it would be a pretty easy way to make money.

I called up one company. The ad was seeking "telemarketing pros." I inquired about the job. The person asked if I had done telemarketing before. I said no. Then he said, "THEN I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! I'M LOOKING FOR TELEMARKETING PROS!" and hung up the phone.

One ad I found was looking for operators to conduct phone surveys for chiropractors. They were called "The Doctors Group." I got there about 3pm. It was a couple of rooms with phone banks. I filled out the application. The woman in charge asked me if I was ready to start right then and there. I said, "Sure." What they were doing was calling people up in the phone book and asking them to participate in a survey. The operators would ask a series of questions. At the end of the survey, they would let them know that for participating, they would get a free visit with a chiropractor. They would then set up an appointment with a chiropractor in their area. I didn't see anything wrong with this, but I also didn't know about the reputations of chiropractors.

The hours were Monday through Friday 3pm - 8pm. We were required to get at least five appointments a shift, which comes out to one an hour. It was certainly a reachable goal and I thought I could do okay at this.

My training consisted of me sitting in the cubicle next to someone who was making outgoing calls. I was given the script of the questions we were supposed to ask. They basically all had to do with whether the respondent had any issues with their backs or experienced back pain. The woman in charge told me I had to stick to that script in order to set the appointments. However, the person she put me next to was asking a bunch of questions that weren't on the script. This kind of confused me. After about an hour, she started having me make the phone calls. One of the things we had to do was talk a little loudly on our end of the phone. This was because there was no monitoring system, so the only way the woman in charge could tell what was going on was by hearing our end of the conversations.

After an hour, I had to start making calls. Most people were cooperative with the survey, but wouldn't take the appointment. I only got a few people who got upset at me calling them. But on my first day, I was able to make two appointments. The woman in charge said I did a good job and that I would probably do better the next day.

She was right. I managed to set four appointments that day. Things were looking up. But the next day, which was a Friday, I only made two appointments. When I came back on Monday, I only made one. On Tuesday, I made one, but very soon after I made that, the woman in charge told me it wasn't working out and I could come in the next day to pick up my paycheck. For the first time in my life, I had actually been fired. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I had been let go from a couple of previous jobs (here and here), but never fired. This was a major shock to me.

It made me feel completely worthless. This was a job that anybody could have done and I couldn't do it. I can't say that they didn't give me a chance, because they did. I looked back and realized there was some stuff I could have done differently. One thing I would do with my phone pages was go back and call numbers where the residents didn't answer or were busy. I should have just kept calling numbers without going back. I would have stood a better chance of getting more responses. Also, I had plenty of opportunities in when the respondents said they didn't need the appointment, but knew someone who could use it. I didn't think we could do referrals. The main problem would have been identifying where they were and which office we could set the appointments at. However, the day I was fired, the woman in charge announced that if someone could refer us to a friend or family member, we could go ahead and call them up. I really felt cheated.

All of these thoughts were occurring to me on the drive home, which took about 30 minutes. I was absolutely in tears. But by the time I got home, I realized that The Doctors Group was really not a good place to work. Three out of the five nights that I was there, I came home with headaches. REALLY BAD HEADACHES. It was a lot more stressful that it looked the first couple of days. I was actually relieved that I didn't need to make any more calls to set up appointments.

But this meant I was going to have to go back out the next day to find a job. Well, you know what? I did find a job the very next day. I'll go into detail about that tomorrow.

Losing in traffic

With today's technology, I'm able to make some smart choices as I'm driving to work or home. However, they don't always work out in my favor.



Fortunately, this bad choice didn't keep me stuck on the highway for hours, but it did delay my getting home by 15 minutes.

Close Call #1: Paz (Part 2)

(What's a Close Call? Click here!)

The next week after our first date, Paz called me to meet up for the next Saturday. We didn't plan anything out. When I came to the house to pick her up, she decided she wanted to go into the mountains. So we drove up. She brought a portable stereo with her. She was playing Robert Plant's "Now and Zen" CD, but she only played three songs off it the whole time: "Heaven Knows," "Dance on My Own," and "Ship of Fools." I didn't know ahead of time that we were going to reach an altitude of 11,000 feet. When we got close to the peak, my car was not driving any faster than 30 mph. However, I saw we weren't the only ones with that problem. I was just glad I wasn't trying to run my air conditioner at that time. We would have been in real trouble.

When we got up to the mountains, Paz said, "Oh, we should have brought some food to cook on a campfire. We'll have to do that next time." We just drove around and drove back. Unfortunately, there was some kind of accident on I-70, so it took us more than an hour longer to get back home. She had me take her to a different house. She told me her sister lived there and that her sister had a child. I went in an met her sister and then I left.

The next Saturday, she wanted to go up into the mountains again, but this time, we were going to cook something up there. That morning, I went to pick her up. The doctor answered the door and I asked for Paz. The doctor explained that Paz didn't live there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have her phone number. (She had mine, but I didn't have hers. I don't know how that happened, but as I will explain later, there was a lot about Paz that I didn't know.) Then I figured out I could probably find her at her sister's. I drove over there. Before I even got out of the car, Paz was coming out of the house. She said, "I just got off the phone with the doctor, and she said that she just had a conversation with you. Why did you go there?" "I thought that was where I was supposed to pick you up." "No, it's not! I don't live there! I told you I live with my sister!" (No, she didn't.)

She didn't get mad at that, but it was just awkward. Before we went to the mountains, we stopped by the grocery store. We bought some hamburger meat, buns, cheese, aluminum foil and some other supplies. On the way up, the car again wouldn't go any faster than 30 mph. We got up there and went to a campsite she was familiar with. We started a fire. She shaped the meat into patties, put them in the aluminum foil and put those in the fire. She mentioned that she had taken a wilderness survival class before. While we were waiting for the meat to cook, Paz layed back on the ground and looked toward me. I put my arms around her and embraced her, but I didn't kiss her. For some reason, I didn't feel like that was a kissing moment. We just held each other for a bit and then the meat was done.

We ate, drove around the mountains a bit and went back home. A couple of days later, Paz called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. She said she had free passes to AMC. She wanted to see "The Dead Pool." Up to this point, I had paid for everything (including the camping food), even though I didn't have a job and she did. So, I was definitely looking forward to her treating, even if the movie tickets were free.

Before we drove to the movie theatre, she wanted to stop by this bar in the downtown area. We went in and she started talking to this guy she knew. He appeared to be a little effemenate. After awhile, I looked around and figured out that we were in a gay bar. I was still a little homophobic at this time. (And I actually think she told him I was gay.) I just figured we would quickly be on our way so we could go see the movie. We weren't there too long.

We went to Westminster Mall. We walked around inside the mall first. I was amazed at the balloons that sporadically went up and down in the main lobby area. I thought it was a rather clever thing to include in the design of the mall. (It's too bad that mall is no longer open.) We went out to the movie theatre. For some reason, Paz was afraid that they weren't going to take both passes at once, so she had us go up to the window separately. She went first. They told her the passes couldn't be used on "The Dead Pool" because it was still in its first week of release. That meant I HAD TO PAY FOR THE MOVIE! AND THE POPCORN AND SODA, TOO! FOR BOTH OF US!

We enjoyed the movie and I drove her home. I walked her up to the front door. She embraced me and we hugged for a long time, but I didn't kiss her. I honestly wasn't feeling it yet and I didn't know if I was ever going to feel it. It was not a matter of her not liking me. She made it clear that she was attracted to me and wanted to be more than just friends. She was probably wondering what my problem was and that was why she may have thought I was gay. I never told her I was a virgin and that I was REALLY inexperienced when it came to women.

I guess my not really feeling anything for her was a combination of all those red flags from our previous dates, my experience from my last actual girlfriend, Marz, and the guilt over the hedged promise that I made to Chez. Also, I had met someone else at this point that I liked a whole lot more. That last part probably had a lot more to do with it than the other reasons combined.

After the movie date, I didn't talk to her for another week and a half. I couldn't call her because I still didn't have her phone number. She called me on a Saturday morning. Up to this point, I had spent a lot of time thinking about what I was going to say, if I needed to say anything. (There was a chance she would never call me again.) She asked me if I wanted to go do something that day. I probably told her I had to work. She asked when we could go do something. I told her I really didn't want to see her any more. She asked why. I said something to the effect that she didn't really inspire me and I didn't think I could be a good enough boyfriend. I don't remember the rest of the conversation. I just know that we got off the phone and I never heard from her again.

A couple of years later, I was working at Landmark's Mayan Theatre. We were holding a preview screening of the film "Longtime Companion." I saw the doctor come in with the crowd. I tried calling out to her, but she didn't hear me. In the middle of the movie, she came out of the auditorium and went straight outside. When she came back in, I called to her. She stopped in her tracks and turned around. "Do I know you?" "Yeah, my name is Fayd. I used to date Paz." "Yeah, Paz," she said. "That was an interesting situation." She then went back in to watch the rest of the movie, so I never really got any answers about what happened.

The stupid thing in all this is that I don't remember her last name. And I don't mean as in 27 years later. I didn't remember it when I was dating her. I know she told me her last name during our first phone conversation, but it quickly went out of my mind as I was thinking up stuff to talk about. I felt embarrassed about this because she got slightly huffy because I didn't remember that she DIDN'T mention she was a travel agent on her personal ad and that I didn't know that she DIDN'T tell me she lived with her sister. I can only guess at her reaction that I DIDN'T recall her last name, even though she only mentioned it that one time. When I saw that episode of "Seinfeld" a few years later in which he had forgotten his girlfriend's first name, I knew exactly what he was going through. I had also planned to go through her purse and look at her ID. I'm just glad it never got to that point.

As a result, I have no idea where she's at now. It's funny, but this would be the only time in my life I would be the one to completely end a relationship before it got out of hand. As you will eventually find out, I would never be able to do this again with situations that were far worse than this.