I had gotten to experience my first girlfriend in October of 1979. I met my second girlfriend in July of 1987. That means I went almost EIGHT YEARS without an actual girlfriend. After all the Friend Zones, Ring Zones, Mistops, Lostops and Radio Teases, I was finally able to get someone to actually commit to me.
Her name was Marz. I hadn't realized it at first, but I'd been in her vicinity and had contact with her on at least three occasions through KZZO, the station I worked at. One of those was durng Hands Across America. She had been one of our contest winners who got to ride the bus to San Jon, NM. At one point, I got on the bus and looked at the people who had boarded. She may have been on board at that time.
The other two times were when she had won our nightly Domino's free pizza giveaway. The rules were that the winner needed to live in the restaurant's delivery zone. She claimed both times that she was because they had delivered out there before. When I called the order in at Domino's, they pushed back and said it wasn't, but they still delivered the pizza anyway.
What led up to us getting to meet was my nightly feature, "Love It or Shove It." The new Michael Jackson single "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" came out. I premiered it on my show. Afterwards, she called up and asked about it. We talked for a little bit, but I still needed to take more calls from people wanting to give their reactions. I asked her to give me a call back in five minutes.
She actually called back and we talked some more. She was REALLY into Michael Jackson and enjoyed listening to other R&B artists. Somehow, I managed to talk my way into meeting her after I got off my shift that night. I drove home and shaved. On my way out the door, I ran into the woman who lived downstairs from me. We had seen each other, but had never met before. (She was not someone I was interested in dating.) I didn't chat with her very much because I was in a hurry to get over to see Marz. In my excitement, I plain forgot to brush my teeth.
I went to the apartment and knocked on the door. She opened it. She did not look straight at me. She was Hispanic, had long, black hair and was very skinny. At first sight, I didn't find her very attractive. However, I saw that she was really beautiful after a few minutes. One thing I found out about her was that she was legally blind. She mostly saw things through the sides of her eyes, which was why she didn't look directly at me when she opened the door.
This was at her sister's apartment. We hung around on the couch and talked. She was telling me about some bad stuff that had been happening to her. We were facing each other and my hand was up on the back of the couch near her head. I started slowly stroking her eyebrow. She didn't swat my hand away. We continued talking. Eventually, I worked my hand down to her hand and held it. We were both smiling while we were talking.
There were other people in the house hanging around. They were getting a little loud, so we went to her sister's bedroom. It was a little more quiet in there. There were still people in there, but they weren't making as much noise. We continued talking on the bed and holding hands. Fairly soon, we were both lying on the bed, holding each other and trying to look into each others' eyes. I couldn't believe it. I was making the moves!
I was there until about 5am. We decided to call it a night. She walked me out to my car. She said she wouldn't kiss me, but hoped that I would come over after my shift that night. (Whew! I didn't have to worry about stinkbreath!) I went home and I couldn't sleep for three more hours. I was so excited about what had just happened and couldn't wait for my shift to end that night.
She called me at work and we talked awhile and confirmed that I was coming to see her again. I went home and made sure I brushed my teeth this time. I came over and it was more of the same as the night before. Again, we didn't kiss. I didn't want to feel like I was moving on her too quickly (because goodness knows that's what I was doing the night before).
I got to come over again the next night. This time, there were a couple of her friends at the apartment. Then some of her sister's friends came over. They were black men. Marz said she wanted to leave. I suggested we go over to my apartment and hang out. She agreed to this. We went over to my place. The past two nights, we had been listening to Heid on KZZO all night long. I decided to put on one of my favorite CDs. It was Suzanne Vega's first album. We listened to the music and started kissing. We mostly just kissed and held each other the rest of the night. I drove her home again and looked forward to work ending that night.
However, she called and said that she wasn't going to be at her sister's that night or the next and we weren't going to be able to see each other those two nights, but she was planning to be there Saturday. I thought that it wasn't a big deal. I could certainly wait. I just wasn't going to have anything to look forward to after my shifts on Thursday and Friday nights.
Saturday night came. She called me and said she was at her sister's apartment and that I could come over. I went there, but we didn't really get affectionate because there were too many people around. Then, a couple of black people came in and she started acting a little anxious. They weren't around too long before they left. Her sister asked her what the problem was. Marz said she didn't want to talk about it. Her sister kept prodding until Marz finally exploded and yelled, "I WAS RAPED BY A BLACK MAN!" Then she ran off into the bedroom.
I didn't know what to say. I just waited for her to come out of the bedroom. I probably had to wait about a half hour. When she did come out, I asked her how she was doing. She said she was okay. Then she said, "We can't see each other anymore." I was probably more shocked by this than her admission that she had been raped. "What? Why?" "Because you don't want to be with me anymore." "That's not true! I never said that! I still want to be with you."
This conversation continued for the next 10 minutes. I finally convinced her that I didn't hate her and that we should stay together. I was simply not ready for a talk like that early in the relationship. I was glad we actually got to have that discussion before things suddenly ended out of my control. After we talked, we went over to the couch, held each other and laid down.
I woke up the next morning and found that Marz was still in my arms on the couch. Her sister's child was riding a tricycle through the apartment. This was the first time I had seen any children there. There were no other adults who were awake at the time. I was on the inside part of the couch, so I was unable to stand up without waking Marz up.
She finally did open her eyes. She was surprised that we fell asleep like that. I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie that night. She did. I specified a time that I would be by to pick her up. I went home and got some rest. I don't remember why, but I had to go to the mall before the date. I ran into Dr. W from the ENMU Theatre Department. We had a pleasant little chat.
I went back home and started getting ready for the date. I drove over to pick her up. She had some bad news for me. While we were still going out to the movie, she was going to have to go to Albuquerque the next day with her family and would be there until Saturday. I didn't like it, but there was nothing I could do about it.
We went out, got fast food and then went to the movie. We saw "Robocop." (Maybe that wasn't such a good choice for a first date, but I went to see it because Dr. W recommended it. ENMU's most famous graduate had a major role in it.)
After the movie, we drove back to where she actually lived, which was not her sister's apartment. It was a mobile home near the city landfill. (This would be the neighborhood that Domino's would not deliver to.) She lived there with her grandfather. After we arrived, her younger sister Vid came over. We talked while Marz packed her bags for the trip. It was hard to leave, knowing that I wasn't going to get to see her again for six days.
And that ended a glorious first week. I was in heaven and couldn't wait for her to return so we could get back to holding and kissing each other.
But, as usual, things just didn't work out the way I planned. You'll see for yourself in tomorrow's post.
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