It seems like people LOVE getting in my way

Last week, I just needed to move forward on the train prior to our arrival at the station so I wouldn't have to walk too far to cross the street. However, I found I couldn't:



There are bicyclists who complain very loudly about there not being enough room because the cars always fill up. I can assure you that wasn't the problem here.

College Roommate #2: Jad

I first met Jad right before the start of the Spring 1983 semester at Eastern New Mexico University. One of the RAs brought him and his father in and introduced him as my new roommate. My first impression was that he was very much like me. He was geeky and wore glasses, but had short hair.

As I mentioned in my post about Retz, he had gone to Cibola High School in Albuquerque. After he graduated, he started attending college at New Mexico State University in Las Cruces. I don't remember why he decided to transfer to ENMU instead. I know he told me, but I just don't remember. He actually had a couple of friends from his high school at Eastern. One of them came over to the room that day and they discussed what was going on with their old classmates.

Our first night as roommates, we were sleeping in our beds. All of a sudden, I felt something hit me, like a basketball. I thought Jad was joshing around and threw something at me. When I got up, it was the cover for the light fixture above my bed. It's about the size and shape of a basketball. The previous semester, the light bulb had burned out. I had to get help to replace it because the cover would not come off. It involved having to take a screw out. I guess when the RA put it together, he didn't put the screw back in and also didn't tighten it all the way. That's why it fell off. I made sure it was on as tight as possible. I did not have anymore trouble out of that fixture for the next two years.

Jad enrolled in Dr. R's Beginning Acting class. His acting partner turned out to be Chud's roommate. Jad also became friends with Bard and hung out with him most of the time.

One interesting thing is that we had both developed a crush on the same girl. Her name was Diz. However, during our freshman year, she was dating this other guy that Jad and Bard hung out with. Jad was hoping that they would break up so he would have a shot at her. I know they broke up before the next school year, because that guy was dating one of the freshman students. Diz wound up dating Bard. Then she wound up marrying him before they graduated from college. I have no idea how Jad felt about that.

I didn't see much of Jad after freshman year, only around campus from time to time. When I worked for a radio station in Clovis, he wound up in one of our TV commercials walking with a bumper sticker held to his chest and his index finger making a "#1" sign.

Jad did not graduate with me, Bard and Diz in 1986. I don't know what he did after leaving ENMU because his name is so common I cannot locate him.

However, I did locate Diz on Facebook! Her hair got darker. And I saw some recent photos of Bard on there, although he does not seem to have a Facebook account. His hair is also darker. He went into the Air Force sometime after college. It also looks like they had five boys.

It's too bad I couldn't locate Jad that easily.

Dungeonzzz and Dragonzzzzzz...

I had always heard about the game Dungeons and Dragons prior to starting college. I liked the idea of playing a role in a medieval quest. However, no one I knew in Artesia played it.

So I was aware that I would run into people who played in college. I was able to track some down and gave it a shot. These were all complete strangers and I was kind of okay with the experience. For me, the main problem was anytime we encountered some foe, we had to wait about five minutes for each person to figure out what attack they were going to use, roll the dice and wait for the Dungeonmaster to look up the number to determine the outcome. We had to do this several times for the same foe. Then we would walk a few feet, and another foe would suddenly appear and we had to go through the entire process again. I left after a couple of hours.

Knowing that I might not have had a good first experience, I was hoping to find another group to play with. I found it with some theatre students. We gathered at the apartment of one of the other students after a morning of rehearsal for "How the Other Half Loves." There were about ten of us involved.

This game was a lot more lively than the other one. We didn't come up against monsters in every room. There was treasure and individual encounters with other characters taking place. This game was certainly a lot more engaging and we spent 10 solid hours playing.

However, I had a number of issues that I didn't encounter the first time. The first was that the Dungeonmaster permitted the particpants to pass him notes about things they were doing that they didn't want others to know. A few times, those notes involved taking items out of my bag, so that when I reached in to use a weapon, I would find that it was missing. Another was that the other particpants had a tendency to loudly argue with me about things that were happening in the game. They kept saying they were yelling at me in character, but I actually felt like they were getting mad because I really didn't know how to play. I guess I should also mention that some of them were drinking during the game. As the game wore on, they got more beligerent.

I also felt like the Dungeonmaster was picking on me and subjecting me to all sorts of cruel outcomes. He also would not let me deal the finishing blows on the foes, which reduced my chances for earning experience points and moving up levels. Everybody else playing got those points. The strange thing is, outside the game, this guy was actually one of the better friends I had in the Theatre department (although I am not writing a post about him).

So, I never really got into the game even though it's normally played by people who are known for being nerds and geeks. Interestingly enough, Loyd got sucked into it that year. He actually found friends from Artesia High School to play with. The Dungeonmaster he knew came up with a quest that was supposed to take a year to complete. However, Loyd was going to go to the New Mexico Military Institute for the spring 1983 semester and tried to get his friend to tear through that quest in the two weeks before he was supposed to show up for classes. I don't know if they ever made it.

I got more into the Dungeons and Dragons-style games when the video game versions came out. At the very least, I feel like, when I'm playing it, everyone is following the rules.

Ring Zone #1: Retz

(What's a Ring Zone? Click here!)

I first met Retz in my Beginning Acting class the first day of college. My friends Chud and Kird were also in this class. She had long, curly brunette hair and a big, toothy smile. She was REALLY cute.

Once during class, Ms. C had us pair up for a little improvisational project. I asked her to be my partner and she agreed. The project involved us having to "mold" each other into certain body positions. Retz was wearing shorts that day, so that meant I got to put my hands on her bare legs. And then she got to put her hands on me. I enjoyed this project very much.

The day arrived that I had gathered up the courage to ask her out after class. That day, Ms. C separated us into groups of four. She and I were in the same group. (I think I positioned myself to be in her group on purpose.) Before we got into our project, the other guy in the group asked Retz, "So, how long have you been married?" "Oh, almost a year," she replied. My jaw hit the floor, but I don't think anyone noticed. I don't even remember what happened the rest of the class. There was so much going through my mind, like how I could have majorly embarrassed myself by asking her out. I was really glad to find out that way, but I was a basket case for several hours.

A thought had occurred to me soon afterward that she had somehow set that up. I thought I was making vague overtures toward her, and they may have turned out to be really obvious. I actually believed she knew what was about to happen and didn't want me to feel humiliated, so she had that other guy ask that question if I came anywhere near her. I know that's far-fetched, but I still cannot get over that timing.

I learned a hard lesson that day. I had to remind myself that I was in school with a bunch of adults, a lot of whom might be married to someone else. In high school, it was easy to figure out who the married girls were. They were all pregnant.

I steered clear of her the remainder of the year, but it would drive me nuts when we happened to run into each other elsewhere on campus. She would see me, smile and tell me hi. My heart would melt.

The next semester, I got College Roommate #2, Jad (whom I will go into more detail about in a couple of days). He went to Cibola High School in Albuquerque, from which he graduated in 1982. He brought a couple of his school yearbooks. I looked through them. I saw that he had gone to the same school as Toilethead and was in the Theatre program with him.

I looked through the photos of the seniors from his sophomore year. I saw a photo of Retz. Gasp! She graduated in 1980! That meant she was two years older than me! I thought we were the same age. And it also showed that her maiden name was Hispanic. I didn't know that might have been her ancestry. The yearbook also showed her husband was in her graduating class. It was a guy whom I had seen around campus from time to time, but I had no idea he was her husband.

You probably think I'd be able to go through the remainder of my college experience without ever having to deal with her again. That's what I thought. We're both wrong. During the Fall 1983 semester, she was in the Intermediate Acting class with me, Chud, Kird, Lorz, Pad, Scod and a lot of other students I'm never going to write about. A few weeks in, Dr. R chose our acting partners. He put Retz and me together. There was a part of me that was kind of happy about it, but I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it as much as getting to touch her legs.

The next day, some of us Acting students were in the Theatre lobby talking about our partners. Pad asked me who I was teamed up with. I said, "Retz." "Who's that?" "You know, that girl with the long brown hair." Pad's eyes widened and he said, "Hey! She's sexy!" Toilethead, who was in the lobby at the time said, "Hey! She's married! Her husband's in my fraternity." Pad's jaw dropped just like mine.

However, it appeared that Pad was not as easily dissuaded as I was. At some point, I thought I heard him say something to the effect that he was going to attempt to score with Retz. He actually took some steps toward that. Retz, Pad and I were involved in the Theatre fraternity's Evening of One Acts that semester. One of the directors videotaped the dress rehearsal and a few of us went over to his house to watch it. Pad didn't have a car, so he asked Retz to drive him over. After the play with them was over (which was first on the tape), she drove him home. I never heard what happened after that, but it's fun to imagine her kicking him out of the car (which she could totally do, as she had a black belt in martial arts and Pad was rather scrawny for a guy).

Retz and I rehearsed and did our scene for Acting class. It was an excerpt from "The Tempest." I played Prospero and she played the daughter Miranda. We decided to kind of do costumes for our presentation. She had a gold-colored gown that she wore at her high school graduation. I wore that onstage.

Because of some problems with Dr. R communicating the parameters of what we were supposed to do with our scenes, everyone in the class had to work on just the one scene the entire semester. Intermediate Acting classes in previous years did at least two scenes. One of the other students expressed great displeasure with this arrangement because he said there were other students he would have liked to have worked with. I got the idea he was talking about Retz.

The next semester, Retz and I were in the cast for "The King and I." I played a priest and she was the lead dancer in the "Uncle Tom's Cabin" sequence. We didn't really get to interact much because she was only in that one sequence.

After that, I don't remember ever seeing her again. She and her husband may have graduated in 1984.

I do have the current information on her. She is now a teacher at the same high school she graduated from. Her husband is the head football coach at West Mesa High School. I wonder what things are like around that house when those two schools have to play each other.

They have been married 33 years. I guess I really didn't have a chance with her, but on the bright side, neither did Pad.

How did some people get into college?

As I mentioned before, I didn't really have to worry much about being accepted at Eastern New Mexico University. I knew that my grades in high school were good enough to get into just about any state-funded college. I expected all the other students to be close to the same academic level I was. I mean, I was aware there were a lot of B and C students, but I figured that since they all graduated, they had the same basic education, learned basic English, Math and History and got through it okay.

And I was wrong. In the post linked above, someone told me that ENMU's admission standards were so low that the school would accept anyone who took the SAT or ACT. It didn't matter what the score was. ENMU was really good at recruiting out-of-state students. They actually targeted the B and C average students. I kept hearing stories of students from other states who didn't know what they were going to do after high school and they got a brochure for ENMU through the mail. Some of them didn't like the idea of having to go out of the country to go to college because they didn't want to drink the water. After it was pointed out that New Mexico is a state, they thought better of it.

During my Stage Crafts class my freshman year, Mr. H, the professor, was telling us about the various jobs that people did behind the scenes. He started talking about the Scene Designer. We were all taking notes. I was sitting next to Tood (who was not my roommate). I looked at his notes and saw that he had written "sean dezzigner." I thought, "Wait! You don't know how to spell the words 'scene designer?' How the heck did you get into college? How did you graduate from high school with atrocious spelling like that?" I knew teachers who would gladly flunk students who didn't know how to spell relatively simple words even to the point that they could not graduate, so I wondered about the quality of public education was in Albuquerque. I mean, I was blown away by the level of acting in his school's Theatre department. I'm surprised that quality didn't carry over to the basic educational needs.

And it was especially surprising to have that from Tood. Tood was actually one of the smartest people I've ever met and he worked really hard on backstage projects in the department. I wondered why he didn't try to do better in English. I guess it doesn't matter because, as far as I know, he never finished college.

I didn't realize it at the time, but this would be the forerunner of all the bad spelling, grammar and punctuation that would plague the Internet in the future. He wasn't the only one who failed to make an effort at doing things correctly in school. As you've probably noticed, I try to make everything perfect on this blog. Even when I text, I try to make it as close to the way I speak as possible. I do not even use the standard abbreviations, like LOL and WTF. Many years ago, when I used to chat on AOL, I did this as well. There was this one woman I started a conversation with. I didn't notice, but she gradually started using punctuation and capitalization in her messages. She pointed this out to me. She started doing it because I was doing. She was actually trying to impress me.

At the very least, this taught me not to expect so much from people in general. This meant that I was going to enter a world in which people didn't try very hard in their writing. I had to accept that there would be a lot of misunderstandings because somebody didn't put a comma in the right place. Nothing was really ever going to be up to my standard. I know there are people who have little tolerance for that, and they are in positions to actually do something about it. I'm not. That's another thing that makes me a loser.

An aversion to temptation

Every day, I get off work and find myself being lured by the most wonderful aroma. However, there is an obstacle that I cannot overcome.


It's a good thing, too. Otherwise, I'd lose $100 a month just eating there.

Lostop #1: Lorz, Part 2

(What's a Lostop? Click here!)

When I last left off with Lorz in yesterday's post, I had just found out her baby was stillborn. This was before the Fall 1984 semester, which would be my junior year at Eastern New Mexico University. When I came over to the Theatre, she had left a thank you note on the bulletin board. She showed appreciation for the love and support everyone gave her during that time. She also mentioned where she had buried the body of the child. I felt really bad that I was not able to be there for her.

The day after I came back to start school, I ran into Lorz outside the Campus Union Building. I had actually seen her from a distance, but her hair was all frizzed out, so I didn't recognize her until we were closer together. I knew that I had to be careful about what to say. I asked her how she was doing. I then told her I was sorry to hear what had happened. She said, "Thanks," and we never discussed it again after that.

About a week later, I was walking past the CUB at night. On the stairs were three of the geekier guys on campus (and yes, I mean geekier than me) engaged in conversation. One of them was mentioning how everything was fine leading up to the delivery. I immediately realized that they were talking about Lorz. I just continued walking past them. I heard one of them say, "Well, one thing that I know is that she smokes. That probably had something to do with it."

Lorz and I started becoming friends again. I finally got the nerve to ask her out on a date to go see the Theatre department's production of "Charley's Aunt" the next week. She actually said yes. I told her we would go out before the performance to get dinner. I was really excited that she accepted. However, there was one thing that could spoil it: She may be scheduled to work that night. I kept my fingers crossed.

I've mentioned before that I had made a choice to remain celibate. However, I was aware that if Lorz wanted to make love, I wouldn't have told her no. I actually wondered if something like that was going to happen once we started going out.

A few days before the big date, another Theatre and Radio/TV student was directing a video for a band from Albuquerque. The goal was to make it on MTV's "Basement Tapes" program. He had reserved the ballroom at the Campus Union Building to shoot a stage sequence. He put out a notice for everyone to come be extras. I went to it and about 100 people were there. However, the director felt like there wasn't enough people, so he asked everyone to leave, get their friends and come back. (He did this even though he was afraid that no one would come back.)

I decided to try to get Lorz in on this. I ran over to her dorm room and knocked on the door. She said I could come in. I opened the door and I saw her sitting there talking to this guy I knew named Bred.

Bred was a sophomore at Artesia High School when I was a senior. I didn't really know him then, but he remembered me. His older sister was in my DECA class. I met him at the beginning of the semester when he wound up being the roommate of a freshman Theatre student I was hanging out with. In my encounters with him, there were two things that characterized him. One was that he had a thing for Hispanic women. Two was that his ability to converse was limited to three topics: getting drunk, getting high and getting laid. With that in mind, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that he would wind up meeting her.

I told Lorz and Bred about the video shoot and how they should come. Lorz politely declined. When I closed the door, I knew what was about to happen. However, I didn't really let it get to me because I was aware of his reputation. He was going to sleep with Lorz, get it out of his system and move on to the next Hispanic woman. I didn't think much of it. After all, Lorz and I weren't really dating yet.

The day of the big date arrived. I called Lorz' workplace to see if she was on the schedule. They told me she wasn't. I ran to the cafeteria to get something to eat since I was going to have a special dinner that night. (This year, to save on the upfront money, I opted for the two-meal plan instead of the three. I typically ate breakfast and dinner at the cafeteria and had something else for lunch.) At the cafeteria, I ran into Lorz. She was just getting up from the table after finishing her lunch. She had been eating with Bred. She came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to work tonight." I told her I just called and they said she wasn't working. "No, they're wrong. I'm working." But I knew what was going on.

I was really upset and didn't enjoy my lunch. I knew that she had just flat out lied to me and I knew why. I would have understood if she had said, "Hey, I really think this thing with me and Bred is really going somewhere. I can't just go out with another guy right now." But she didn't say that. I don't know why she couldn't tell me the truth, seeing as how she had always been able to be open and honest with me before. This really tore me up. The fact that she agreed to a date with me is what makes her a Lostop.

She continued to see Bred. I can't believe that at the age of 18, he met this one girl and decided this was it, he didn't need to sleep with any other women.

I had a very strange encounter with Lorz a few weeks later. We were rehearsing for the Theatre fraternity's Evening of One Acts. We were in this play written by a fellow student. During a rehearsal, we were sitting on a bench onstage while a couple of other actors were working through their scene. Lorz laid on her belly on the bench to read a book and put her legs in my lap. (She was wearing pants at the time.) I started running my fingers along her calves. She never told me to stop. It just felt so intimate to me, but at the same time, I was aware that I was probably never going to get to do that again.

The next semester, I was walking through the dorm and ran into Lorz. She told me she had gotten married. I told her congratulations and went on. I don't think I ever talked to her again after that. But not by choice. We just didn't see each other for the rest of the school year.

Lorz and Bred did not return to school the next year. I graduated. I had heard that they came back the next year. In 1986, I went to a concert at Greyhound Arena. I saw Lorz and Bred walking around, but I didn't approach them. I just knew that wasn't going to do anything but cause a lot of pain for me. I never saw them again.

About a year later, Bred's sister came and applied for a sales position at the radio station where I worked. I asked how Bred and Lorz were doing. She said they had just had a baby. I was actually happy about that, given what had happened a couple of years eariler.

So, where are they now? Doing an Internet search has found that they have lived in at least five different locations since I last saw them. These places are Albuquerque, Bernalillo, Los Lunas and Alamogordo, all in New Mexico, and Bridgeport, TX. I had initially found a couple of certifications that they had, but when I went back to Google them, I couldn't find them again. They don't appear to have set up any Facebook or LinkedIn accounts. They practically live off the grid, so to speak.

I have to look back and be thankful that we didn't get involved with each other. I would have wanted an eternity with her and she probably would have just been looking for her next brief fling (even though she married her next "brief fling"). If I had sex with her, the breakup would have been absolutely devastating. I was not mentally prepared for a relationship like that at that time.

But I really don't know what I would say if I ran into her today. Probably just, "Hey! How are you doing? I'm fine. See you later." I would then hope that would be the end of it. I do feel like the end has already happened. Now that I've written about it, I can quit dwelling on it.