(What's a Lostop? Click here!)
When I last left off with Lorz in yesterday's post, I had just found out her baby was stillborn. This was before the Fall 1984 semester, which would be my junior year at Eastern New Mexico University. When I came over to the Theatre, she had left a thank you note on the bulletin board. She showed appreciation for the love and support everyone gave her during that time. She also mentioned where she had buried the body of the child. I felt really bad that I was not able to be there for her.
The day after I came back to start school, I ran into Lorz outside the Campus Union Building. I had actually seen her from a distance, but her hair was all frizzed out, so I didn't recognize her until we were closer together. I knew that I had to be careful about what to say. I asked her how she was doing. I then told her I was sorry to hear what had happened. She said, "Thanks," and we never discussed it again after that.
About a week later, I was walking past the CUB at night. On the stairs were three of the geekier guys on campus (and yes, I mean geekier than me) engaged in conversation. One of them was mentioning how everything was fine leading up to the delivery. I immediately realized that they were talking about Lorz. I just continued walking past them. I heard one of them say, "Well, one thing that I know is that she smokes. That probably had something to do with it."
Lorz and I started becoming friends again. I finally got the nerve to ask her out on a date to go see the Theatre department's production of "Charley's Aunt" the next week. She actually said yes. I told her we would go out before the performance to get dinner. I was really excited that she accepted. However, there was one thing that could spoil it: She may be scheduled to work that night. I kept my fingers crossed.
I've mentioned before that I had made a choice to remain celibate. However, I was aware that if Lorz wanted to make love, I wouldn't have told her no. I actually wondered if something like that was going to happen once we started going out.
A few days before the big date, another Theatre and Radio/TV student was directing a video for a band from Albuquerque. The goal was to make it on MTV's "Basement Tapes" program. He had reserved the ballroom at the Campus Union Building to shoot a stage sequence. He put out a notice for everyone to come be extras. I went to it and about 100 people were there. However, the director felt like there wasn't enough people, so he asked everyone to leave, get their friends and come back. (He did this even though he was afraid that no one would come back.)
I decided to try to get Lorz in on this. I ran over to her dorm room and knocked on the door. She said I could come in. I opened the door and I saw her sitting there talking to this guy I knew named Bred.
Bred was a sophomore at Artesia High School when I was a senior. I didn't really know him then, but he remembered me. His older sister was in my DECA class. I met him at the beginning of the semester when he wound up being the roommate of a freshman Theatre student I was hanging out with. In my encounters with him, there were two things that characterized him. One was that he had a thing for Hispanic women. Two was that his ability to converse was limited to three topics: getting drunk, getting high and getting laid. With that in mind, it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that he would wind up meeting her.
I told Lorz and Bred about the video shoot and how they should come. Lorz politely declined. When I closed the door, I knew what was about to happen. However, I didn't really let it get to me because I was aware of his reputation. He was going to sleep with Lorz, get it out of his system and move on to the next Hispanic woman. I didn't think much of it. After all, Lorz and I weren't really dating yet.
The day of the big date arrived. I called Lorz' workplace to see if she was on the schedule. They told me she wasn't. I ran to the cafeteria to get something to eat since I was going to have a special dinner that night. (This year, to save on the upfront money, I opted for the two-meal plan instead of the three. I typically ate breakfast and dinner at the cafeteria and had something else for lunch.) At the cafeteria, I ran into Lorz. She was just getting up from the table after finishing her lunch. She had been eating with Bred. She came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to work tonight." I told her I just called and they said she wasn't working. "No, they're wrong. I'm working." But I knew what was going on.
I was really upset and didn't enjoy my lunch. I knew that she had just flat out lied to me and I knew why. I would have understood if she had said, "Hey, I really think this thing with me and Bred is really going somewhere. I can't just go out with another guy right now." But she didn't say that. I don't know why she couldn't tell me the truth, seeing as how she had always been able to be open and honest with me before. This really tore me up. The fact that she agreed to a date with me is what makes her a Lostop.
She continued to see Bred. I can't believe that at the age of 18, he met this one girl and decided this was it, he didn't need to sleep with any other women.
I had a very strange encounter with Lorz a few weeks later. We were rehearsing for the Theatre fraternity's Evening of One Acts. We were in this play written by a fellow student. During a rehearsal, we were sitting on a bench onstage while a couple of other actors were working through their scene. Lorz laid on her belly on the bench to read a book and put her legs in my lap. (She was wearing pants at the time.) I started running my fingers along her calves. She never told me to stop. It just felt so intimate to me, but at the same time, I was aware that I was probably never going to get to do that again.
The next semester, I was walking through the dorm and ran into Lorz. She told me she had gotten married. I told her congratulations and went on. I don't think I ever talked to her again after that. But not by choice. We just didn't see each other for the rest of the school year.
Lorz and Bred did not return to school the next year. I graduated. I had heard that they came back the next year. In 1986, I went to a concert at Greyhound Arena. I saw Lorz and Bred walking around, but I didn't approach them. I just knew that wasn't going to do anything but cause a lot of pain for me. I never saw them again.
About a year later, Bred's sister came and applied for a sales position at the radio station where I worked. I asked how Bred and Lorz were doing. She said they had just had a baby. I was actually happy about that, given what had happened a couple of years eariler.
So, where are they now? Doing an Internet search has found that they have lived in at least five different locations since I last saw them. These places are Albuquerque, Bernalillo, Los Lunas and Alamogordo, all in New Mexico, and Bridgeport, TX. I had initially found a couple of certifications that they had, but when I went back to Google them, I couldn't find them again. They don't appear to have set up any Facebook or LinkedIn accounts. They practically live off the grid, so to speak.
I have to look back and be thankful that we didn't get involved with each other. I would have wanted an eternity with her and she probably would have just been looking for her next brief fling (even though she married her next "brief fling"). If I had sex with her, the breakup would have been absolutely devastating. I was not mentally prepared for a relationship like that at that time.
But I really don't know what I would say if I ran into her today. Probably just, "Hey! How are you doing? I'm fine. See you later." I would then hope that would be the end of it. I do feel like the end has already happened. Now that I've written about it, I can quit dwelling on it.
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