Tuesday, October 7, 2014

College Enemy: Toilethead, Part 2

Yesterday, I had some nice things about the person I am referring to as Toilethead, but I will admit there was a tinge of pressure underneath what I wrote. I guess I can sum it up by saying that Toilethead was a rather abrasive individual. But on this blog, you know I have to go into more detail, so here goes:

Part of of the problem that I and a lot of the other Theatre students had was his idea that he was much more talented than everyone else in the department. I mean, he definitely was respected for his acting by everyone, but he refused to acknowledge that other people can be talented in other areas. He had very little regard for the abilities of the other students, with the exception of Bid.

My freshman year, I was working in the lighting booth for "Fiddler on the Roof." After rehearsal was over, everyone started gathering in the auditorium for notes from the director, Dr. R. I sat a couple of rows behind Toilethead. Before addressing the cast, Dr. R was talking to him about getting in the right spot for the lighting. Toilethead said something like, "Yeah, Fayd's not too smart." Dr. R said, "He's right behind you." "Yeah, he's still not too smart." (Dr. R later told me, "No, you're the smart one.")

My sophomore year, I was cast in two productions in which I got to act side by side with him. In "A Midsummer Night's Dream," he played Nick Bottom and I played Tom Snout. In "Deathtrap," he played Sidney Bruhl and I played Porter Milgrim. In both of these, he did what he could to inflict physical pain on me while on stage in front of the audience. In "Dream," during our introductory scene, he did a Three Stooges-style downward nose swipe, and he did it really hard. I laughed while on stage, but it hurt. The skin on my nose was starting to peel, so I finally had to tell him to not do it so hard. He complied somewhat. In "Deathtrap," I had to shake his hand when I made my entrance. The way he did it, we should have just called the play "Deathgrip." (I should add that he never did these things very hard in rehearsal, so it may have just been the adrenaline from the live performance that caused him to triple his efforts, but it was probably still intentional.)

But those were the only two times I had to come in direct contact with him on stage. I'm pretty certain I'm not the only one he abused onstage (or off, for that matter). I remember that during the post-mortem for "The Elephant Man," one of the cast members complained about all these stressful situations that were happening behind the scenes. While no one mentioned any names, I immediately knew they all had to do with Toilethead.

But when you really got right down to it, he just didn't have any respect for me. When he landed the role of Tevye for "Fiddler," everyone gathered around him. I kept sticking out my hand to congratulate him. He kept ignoring me while shaking everyone else's hands. That is something that has stayed with me all this time. It's not like I was that good or competing against him for the role (which I wasn't, because I didn't even make the callbacks.) I really don't know why he decided to have that much disrespect for me. I never again congratulated him on another role.

During his sophomore year, he pledged one of the fraternities on Campus. Suddenly, his passion was split between acting and his frat brothers. The next couple of years, he wanted to spend more time with the fraternity and less time with the Theatre department. And while a lot of the students didn't like the direction this was going, I actually think many of them were a little jealous that he had this life outside of the Theatre that we couldn't be a part of.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, he got accepted into a program at NYU toward the end of his junior year. But I didn't mention that after he received the official word, he was saying stuff like, "I'm glad to be getting away from this place. There's nothing for me here." A lot of us were really looking forward to not having him around the next year.

When I returned in the fall of 1984, I talked to one of the Theatre professors, Dr. W. He casually mentioned that he had just seen Toilethead. I shuddered. "No, what are you talking about? He was supposed to go to NYU." "No, he's decided to finish his education here at Eastern." Moments later, another student walked in to see Dr. W. I broke the news. "Guess what? Toilethead is back this year." "NO! He was supposed to be at NYU!" Whenever some of us Theatre students congregated before the start of the year, the conversation would turn to Toilethead's return. The consensus was that if we had said the things he did, we wouldn't have come back to Eastern.

When we did see Toilethead again, he appeared very uneasy to be back. I'm certain he got all kinds of darting looks from everyone and he looked like he had his tail between his legs. But after a couple of days, he was back to his old self. However, he only auditioned and participated in one production that year.

So what happened to NYU? I don't know, but I am quite willing to speculate. A few years ago, I saw an episode of "Mr. Show" that featured a sketch that was a parody of the opening scene from "The Firm." The law school's top student is being interviewed by a prestigious law firm. The recruiters tell him that before they hire him, he has to give them all blow jobs. This got me to thinking that something like this happened to Toilethead. He was probably all set to meet with the Theatre department heads and may have made some kind of homophobic comment beforehand that got overheard by someone in charge. (Toilethead made it very clear at Eastern that he wanted nothing to do with homosexuals.) They probably decided to teach him a lesson during the department interview and told him he had to give them all blow jobs.

"What? You're kidding, right?"

"No, we're absolutely serious. Do you think theatre professionals cast on talent and skill? No, they cast based on who gives the best blow jobs."

"But I'm a really good actor!"

"Then you're probably really good at giving blow jobs."

(Yes, I am aware I stole the best lines from the sketch. You should check it out here if you haven't seen it.)

Chances are that the NYU people would not let up on their "act," so he likely just walked out and started thinking about no longer pursuing a life as an actor. He decided to just come back, finish his degree and find some other avenue for making a living after he graduated.

And he did manage to do that. I'll have more in tomorrow's post. (Yes, I have to do a Part 3.)

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