Bez and I had a very good relationship. It was the kind I always wanted, where the affection we felt for each other didn't disappear just a few weeks after we started the hand-holding and kissing. We got along very well as friends. And I had a really good rapport with her parents, who liked that I had graduated from college. It seemed like everything was moving toward something bigger.
The first time I brought her to my apartment, we listened to some music. Very soon, we started making out. After rolling around on my mattress for a few minutes, I told her I was a virgin. She was a little shocked. I told her I wanted her to know that because I didn't want her to think that I was expecting our makeout session to turn into a takeoff session, as far as our clothes were concerned. She didn't seem to mind, but she told me she wasn't a virgin. I told her that didn't matter to me.
Most of the time, our makeout sessions took place in my car because her parents rarely let her come to my house. We always had trouble finding decent places to park because the cops loved finding the cars with the steamed-up windows. I never had an officer actually come up to the car, but a couple of times, they shined their beacon in our window. The prospect of us moving in together was never in consideration as both our parents looked down on that practice.
Even though I was a virgin, we eventually engaged in activity of a sexual nature. We never had actual sex, but I discovered that I enjoyed all the things that would lead up to it. At the time, I was still planning to wait until I was officially married. She seemed okay with it.
A couple of months in, I asked her what she expected her wedding to be like. While she answered the question, she was rather taken aback that I was already talking about the subject of marriage. Something that I interpreted about her was that she wanted to get married before she turned 30 years old. That turned out to be a correct assumption. For a period of time, I actually thought she might be the one I marry.
And we actually came close one time. In 1989, Re/Max held a balloon festival in Denver. KOA-AM 850 held a contest in which some lucky couple could get married in a balloon. They would provide the wedding rings, the food and some other gifts for about 25 guests. Bez agreed to go along with it, if we won. I wrote what I thought was a very good essay comparing how being in the balloon would make the world seem like it was revolving around us for once. We didn't win.
It turned out to be a moot point anyway. Bez had bought tickets for us to go that day. At the time, I was working a job in which I was there until 2am on Saturday night. I came over to her parents' house to spend the night so we could get a fresh start in the morning because we had to be there before 7am. As it turned out, it rained the night before. Traffic was backed up getting into the site. The instructions on the tickets said that we needed to put this placard on the rearview mirror so we could park. Bez was driving and I asked her to give me the placard. She wouldn't give me the placard. I was still cranky from not getting enough sleep, so I started YELLING at her to give me the placard. It was the only time I wasn't able to keep my cool around her. She still wouldn't give it to me. When we got up to the gate, the person directing traffic told us the festival had been canceled and we had to turn around and go back. My yelling turned out to be a moot point as well. She didn't say anything on the way back to the house. I could tell she was very upset.
But when we got back to the house, everything seemed okay. I crawled onto the couch in the den to finish my sleep. Bez climbed on top of me and I put my arms around her. We slept for a little while this way and her parents didn't say anything.
When we had discussed having an actual wedding, we were looking at March of 1990, when my parents would be on spring break. I never officially proposed to her, but was saving up money to get her an engagement ring.
Sometime later, I had a job that had me working even more ridiculous hours. I was there all day on a Saturday and didn't get out until 8pm. I called Bez to let her know I was on the way. She told me that she and her friend had declared it a "Girls Night Out" and I shouldn't come over. After a terrible day like that, all I wanted to do was spend time with my girlfriend and cool down. She wasn't going to let that happen. I told her that if drove down there and she and her friend hadn't left yet, we were going to see each other that night. She angrily told me not to do that.
Very soon after that, she told me that she wanted to wait a year before we made plans to get married. She said that we would still be boyfriend/girlfriend and we would still do things of a sexual nature, but we weren't going to be planning a wedding for March of 1990. I reminded her of her goal to get married before she was 30. She said that goal no longer mattered.
After that, I didn't really try that hard in the relationship. We would still be affectionate toward each other and still did a lot of stuff together, but I just felt like we were coasting until she decided she wanted to get married. I had actually saved up $1000 to buy an engagement ring. I was hoping she would change her mind if I went ahead and proposed. However, I lost the high-paying job at the time (the one that had me working ridiculous hours) and started working for minimum wage at a movie theatre.
Very soon after that, Bez called me one night. She said she needed to talk to me about something. I said, "Uh-oh." She told me that she thought we should start seeing other people. We could still be friends, but we'd no longer be boyfriend/girlfriend. I had a meltdown and started crying and yelling at her. I told her that what hurt the most was that she actually thought there was someone out there better for her than me. As it turned out (and as I'll go into detail tomorrow), I was correct on that point. There really was not a better person out there for her. I simply was the best she could do.
I was also hurt that she broke up with me over the phone. I was calling her before I came over so that she could give me money that she owed me. She had it in her head that she could just break up with me over the phone and then I would come by to pick up the money. I completely forgot about the money until later. Why didn't she just have me come over and break up with me then? I may have yelled at her before, but I'd never threatened her with violence. But I guess that's the way someone with the mentality of a 14-year-old thinks. I did eventually get that money.
We went out "as friends" one last time about a month later. There was a movie she wanted to see at the Esquire (where we had our first movie date) and I could get us in for free. I came to the house to pick her up. When I saw her, I gave her a long embrace. We went to the theatre and sat down. A few minutes into the movie, I started holding hands with her. She let this go on for about 30 seconds, then she took her hand away. I knew then that it was over.
Tomorrow, I'll go into detail about why I believe she decided to break up with me and all the stuff that happened after she did.
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