Work Friend: Geard

Even though I had stopped being homophobic by the middle of 1990, I still never saw myself as being friends with gay men. Lesbians, yes, but not gay men. So I was probably caught off-guard when I started hanging out with someone who was gay.

Geard was working at the Ogden Theatre when I first met him. When the Ogden closed in May of 1990, he was one of the few employees who came to work for us at the Mayan theatre. He would only work the box office on Sunday afternoons. He had a regular weekday job, but enjoyed the benefits of free movies that he got by working at a movie theatre.

We started hanging out from time to time outside of work. Mostly, we would go see movies together. It was nice to have a friend I could do that with. While the average person could probably tell he was gay, he wasn't flamboyant and he never discussed his relationships. But if we were in her car and he was driving and I told him to go straight, he would say, "I can't go straight. I can only go gayly forward."

Cynz was also a good friend of his and hung out with him on occasion. Once her husband started getting a little jealous and asked her, "Are you sure he's gay?" But she got back at him when he was hanging out with a female friend of theirs by asking, "Are you sure she's a lesbian?"

One day, I was at the Mayan. Mr. M, who was the Manager at the time, gave me some bad news. Geard had been diagnosed with AIDS. I was stunned. Geard was the first person I knew diagnosed with AIDS. Mr. M said he was going to have to go on disability. That meant he couldn't work anywhere, including the Mayan. One of the things we decided to do for him was to call him in for passes at other movie theatres. Mr. M said he really didn't have anything to do, so we would just continue to say he was one of our employees.

I would also call Geard every time we had press screenings. It was always nice to provide a little bit of an audience for the critics when they were watching movies.

Having Geard for a friend certainly provided a dose of sanity for me, considering all the insanity that would occur anytime I hung out with Rid. There was very little drama that occurred on our outings. The only thing shocking that occurred was when he was driving a new car with the harness seat belts that automatically strapped you in. I can see why they don't make that feature anymore. I wonder how many people had heart attacks when they saw them for the first time.

I had always assumed that Geard would be the first person I knew who would die of AIDS. I was wrong. Someone else I knew passed away first. It was Mr. W, who had managed the Ogden when I first worked at the Mayan. He later managed the Mayan for a brief period of time after the Ogden closed.

Geard had come to visit me in San Diego after I moved there. He told me that Mr. W had passed away. The last time he saw Mr. W, he wanted Geard to tell me how much he appreciated the hard work I put in while he was manager. He said he wouldn't have been able to handle it without my help. It was a very touching thing for him to pass on.

When I saw Geard, he still looked good on the outside, but he was definitely having problems on the inside. One of the medications he was taking required him to have a tube sticking out of his chest in order to administer doses. He also qualified for a handicapped parking placard. If anyone gave him grief because he was walking, he would just lift up his shirt to show them the tube. That usually shut people up.

I never got to see Geard again after that visit. He passed away within the next year. I regretted not being able to see him when I went back just a few months later. I remember there was a problem with our schedules. I was only in Denver for just one day and had to drive back to San Diego the next day. We just couldn't meet up.

Since Geard, I've never really been friends with any gay men. It's not like I need a gay man to make my circle of friends complete, but it's nice to know that after my bout with homophobia that I am able to have one.