Jolz and I continued being boyfriend/girlfriend for a few weeks after she had her bariatric surgery. She was adjusting to the restrictions very well. We still went out and did things. They just didn't involve food. Even though I was being supportive through all of this, cracks were starting show in our relationship.
One issue I had was that she wanted me to come over to her house around 5pm every other day to eat dinner with her family. This itself wasn't the problem, but the traffic going out to El Cajon at that time was horrible. When I first started, I thought it would be like the traffic in Denver, in which there was a siphoning effect. However, it seemed like every car on the highway was going to El Cajon. It made for a stressful drive, which I didn't appreciate when I was trying to go see my girlfriend.
She still spent Friday nights with her boss. They just didn't eat like they used to. They would go out and do things. Most of the time, it was to go see movies. Again, this probably didn't sound like a problem, but she would end up going to see movies with her that we had made plans to go see. This meant that by the time we went out, she'd already seen the movie. And she usually didn't tell me this until after it was over. "Wow! Were you expecting (such and such) to happen?" "Yeah, I saw it last night with my boss."
A couple of times, the Friday nigh involved going to a strip club on "Ladies Night." She told me about getting lap dances from male strippers. The funny thing was that this didn't bother me in the slightest. (I was surprised by this myself.) I guess it was because I was confident that none of the men she paid to do a lap dance would have any interest in doing anything else with her. However, I did get the feeling that if I wanted to pay a stripper for a lap dance, Jolz wouldn't be as casual about it.
Once Jolz asked me to come to a party that her aunt was hosting. Her aunt had graduated with a Master's degree and was celebrating. Jolz didn't have the exact address, but told me the intersection in San Diego where her aunt lived and I would meet her there. She said it was a white house on the corner. I got there and ALL FOUR CORNER HOUSES WERE PAINTED WHITE! I walked around to each of the houses and heard the sounds of a party coming from the yard of one. I knocked on the fence. This woman opened the gate. I told the woman I was Fayd and asked with Jolz was there. She said, "I don't know anyone named Jolz" and shut the gate.
Fortunately, Jolz had a cell phone (at a time when few people had one). I found a pay phone nearby and called her. I asked her which house on the corner because they were all white. She said it was on the southwest corner. "That was one I was just at. The woman who answered said you weren't there!" "No, I'm here."
I knocked and the same woman opened the gate. "Is Jolz here?" The woman replied, "Oh! JOLZ! I thought you said Jilz." (NO, I DID NOT!) I know I looked angry about that. Everyone at the party thought this was funny, but it was at my expense. I really wish I hadn't gone to that party.
But the biggest issue we faced was something that a lot of overweight people deal with when they're romantically involved with someone they're much larger than. Jolz enjoyed being with me at first, but I got the feeling that she was thinking, "Why is he with me? Why does he like me? Can't he see that I'm fat? This isn't normal. There must be something REALLY wrong with him!"
She never said this to me, and even though she had started losing weight, it appeared to be a major burden on her mind. She started acting less like a girlfriend and more like someone who was about to become an ex-girlfriend.
And that happened. More details tomorrow.
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