Chez meets my parents

I woke up the morning of Monday, 01/04/93 in my motel room in Clovis, NM. I was going to bring Chez and Joad back to San Diego with me. Since leaving San Diego almost a day and a third earlier, I hadn't gotten much of a chance to indulge myself. I didn't really stop anywhere along the way, not even at Eastern New Mexico University. Around 7am, I decided to go eat breakfast at one of my favorite diners. This was the same place where I met Saz that one time. (And ironically enough, Saz later became one of Chez' best friends.) I enjoyed my breakfast and my little time to myself. When I got back to the motel, I found that Chez had frantically tried calling me six times. She was panic-stricken that I had left without her.

We hadn't exactly set a time for me to come pick her up and I didn't know she was going to get up so early. I packed my clothes and headed to her grandmother's house. We started loading up my car. After a little bit, it became apparent that, even with the U-Haul carrier and my hatchback, we were not going to be able to load all of her stuff. I still needed to make room for the TV and microwave I was going to get from my Dad's house. We had to leave behind four boxes. (And even if I wasn't getting the TV and microwave, that still would have only been enough room for one more box.) Her family was just going to have to ship it to us later.

Before we left town, we had to stop by her mother's one more time. We hung out for a bit and she got to say goodbye to Joad. When I went to pick up Joad to put him in his seat, he started thrashing his arms about violently and didn't want me to pick him up. I started seeing that being a parent was going to be a lot more challenging than I thought.

When we had planned our trip back to San Diego, Chez did not want to run the risk of driving through Roswell. I told that was fine and we would find another way to get to Artesia to meet my parents. She suggested we drive to Artesia by way of Albuquerque. She had some family there she wanted to see. I guess they had money and she thought they were going to give her some. I told her we didn't have time to spare to drive eight hours out of our way. (But I think she didn't want to meet my parents.) I found a route from Portales through Lovington that would get us into Artesia on the east side.

We left Clovis around 11:30am. I don't recall us stopping anywhere along the way. Chez and I held hands the entire time. We were enjoying the rush of running off together. It felt like there was nothing that could keep us apart now.

One thing she didn't know was that we were going to be driving through the community known as Loco Hills between Lovington and Artesia. Apparently, a couple of Road's brothers lived there, not too far from the highway. Chez was afraid one of them was going to see her in the car. She told me if she'd known we were going to be going through Loco Hills, she would have demanded that we drive through Albuquerque. (Yeah, if we did that, we wouldn't have gone to Artesia to meet my parents.) She hid down in her seat while we drove through, even though I knew there was no possible way that anybody a quarter-mile from the highway was even paying attention to the people in each car going by.

We got into Artesia around 2:45pm. The first thing we did was go to Mom's house. She wasn't home. Her next door neighbor (whom I'd never met before) came out as I was walking back to the car. She told me Mom didn't get out of school until after 3:00. We drove over there, found her car and parked in front of it. We just had to wait for her to come out.

A few minutes later, she appeared. She was completely oblivious to the fact that my car was right in front of hers. Chez and I scrambled to get Joad out of the car. Fortunately, a couple of students went up to Mom and commented on her car, so she didn't start the ignition right away. We started walking toward her. She jolted when she saw me. She rolled down her window. I told her, "Mom, this is Chez and Joad. They're coming out to San Diego to live with me."

Prior to our arrival at the school, Chez and I had discussed what things Mom might ask when she met them. But we had no idea this would be the first thing out of her mouth: "How old are you?" "I'm 20." "No! Really?" I chimed in. "Mom, she's really 20 years old." (It turned out Mom thought she was around 14. Chez only weighed about 85 pounds at the time.) "Anyway, do you want to go to your house so we can talk about this?" "Well, I was going to go to the Post Office and drop off some mail." "Okay, that's not a problem. We'll follow you to the Post Office and then we'll meet back at your house." Mom decided not to go to the Post Office and just drove straight home.

After we got back in the car and left the school, I realized that I had forgotten to tell Mom that Joad was not my son. I worried about what was going through her mind as she was driving home. We parked outside her house and got Joad out of his car seat. Chez told me to carry him into the house. As I walked in, I could finally say, "Mom, I forgot to mention this at the school, but Joad is not my son!" Mom said, "Oh, I wasn't thinking that!" Really?

So we sat down in the living room and talked. I told Mom about how I had known Chez for years, and how I had tried to come see her when I brought Rid down. I told her about how she got pregnant. I said, "It happened while she was under the influence of alcohol..." I was about to say, "...and drugs." However, I realized that while my Mom might tolerate underage drinking, she was very stern about illegal narcotics. So, a little voice inside my head (which almost never appears when I need it) told me to stop right there and hope she would think I had finished the sentence. I guess it worked. I then went on about the domestic violence that sent her to the battered women's shelter and how I came out to get her and Joad.

After I finished the story, Mom started crying. She was mostly upset that Chez and I were going to be living together without being married. The thought never crossed my mind that it would be considered an issue with her. I was wrong. She asked why we didn't go ahead and get married. I told her we just wanted to concentrate on getting them away from Road.

She asked what we were going to do for money. I told her that Chez was probably going to go on welfare. Mom really did not like that. (I recall when I was going to ENMU in the summer of 1983. She asked what I was going to do for food. I was going to purchase a booklet of pre-paid food coupons that could be used at the Coffee Shop in the basement of the Campus Union Building. Students always referred to them as "food stamps." When I told her I was getting "food stamps," she told me flat-out "No!" No child of hers was going to go on food stamps. I then had to explain that I was talking about the pre-paid program. She relented after that.) She also didn't seem to like that we were going to be living in an apartment. "He needs to run around! Where's he going to play?" "Mom, that's not a problem. We live right across the street from a park." I guess Mom was surprised that I had kind of worked everything out.

Mom's tears started flowing a lot less. She said that Joad was adorable and asked to hold him. Chez let her. Mom said that earlier that day, she wished that she had a grandchild, but hadn't expected this.

Then Mom started talking about an issue with my high school class ring. I asked her what she was talking about. She said that she had gotten a phone call from a local pawn shop. Somebody had sold them a class ring. When they looked at it, they found my name engraved inside. Mom was the only Ogolon listed in the phone book, so they called her to see if she wanted to buy the ring. I guess she had to pay $50 for it. She was originally going to give it to me for Christmas, but she was going to wait until my birthday to surprise me with it.

I told Mom that I had given that ring to Chez more than four years earlier. Chez said she thought she had lost it, but now knew that it had been stolen from her and she knew who had taken it. (It was some other guy friend of hers, not Road.) Mom went and got the ring and I gave it back to Chez. I was rather stunned by this coincidence.

We needed to go see Dad. Mom recommended I call over to his house first in case he wasn't there. I called and my brother Loyd picked up the phone. Dad wasn't there. I asked Loyd to have Dad call me at Mom's when he got back. This meant that Chez was going to meet Loyd as well.

While we were waiting for Dad to call, we all had something to eat at Mom's house. During this time, Mom had been renting out her guest bedroom to another teacher. The last time I came home for Thanksgiving, the woman was out of town. She came home while we were still there. This would be the only time I got to meet her. (She didn't stay past the school year.) This meant she got to hear the story. Mom said that after we'd left, the teacher thought I was crazy for doing this. Yeah, she was right.

Dad finally called and I told him I was coming over with some people to meet. We got ready to go. Mom asked if we were going to come back after we went to Dad's. I said no. She asked "Why not?" "Mom, we have to get out of the state tonight. We really don't have a lot of time to blow." I gave Mom our new address and phone number and left. I also gave her the phone number for Chez' father. (However, she never did call him. That was probably a good thing.)

We went over to Dad's. Gred and Loyd were there, along with Loyd's girlfriend, who was cooking dinner. (This would be the only time I would meet that girlfriend.) I told them the whole story, but without the awkward pause describing how Chez wound up getting pregnant. After I had finished, Dad said, "Well, that's great!" He and Gred appeared to be very happy for us. Gred thought the story was very romantic.

Loyd said later that after he'd gotten off the phone with me, he knew who I was bringing over and told his girlfriend what was going to happen.

I told Dad we needed to get the TV and microwave I had left behind after I'd moved to San Diego. We went out into the garage to get them. While we were out there, Dad gave me some money. I was very grateful for that.

After loading the TV and microwave into the car,e said our goodbyes and left. We were setting off on a new adventure.

I'll conclude the trip home tomorrow.