I've posted before about how I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I've decided to make an exception this year. I need to get rid of a monkey that's been on my back for the last nine years: Facebook.
I should point this out that I am not doing it as part of the "Quit Facebook" movement. The truth of the matter is that I'm not actually quitting Facebook. And concerns about privacy didn't really impact me because I didn't use my real name.
In 2010, I had no desire to get involved with social networks. I had completely avoided MySpace and planned to do the same with Facebook and Twitter when they started building up steam. I had no interest in trying to connect with people from my past. And it seemed pointless to do with my co-workers. (I didn't have any real friends at the time.)
One day, Ms. Ogolon wanted to do some lurking on Facebook and asked me to set up an account. I thought this was odd because she'd actually had a MySpace profile so I don't know why she didn't want a presence on Facebook. Then she threatened to go ahead and set up a profile in my name. I told her that if she was going to do that, she should set up one under my San Diego music scene pseudonym and not my real name. This was something I hadn't thought about doing before. I was concerned about people I hated catching up with me, but they didn't know me as Fayd, so this solved everything.
Facebook was very exciting when I first got on. I was able to reach out to people I used to know in Denver and San Diego and reconnect with a lot of friends. I was finding people I hadn't had contact with in years. And having a Facebook account inspired me to go out, do things and post photos and statuses.
However, I wasn't so willing to reach out to my family members. My Mom knew about the account and sent me requests a couple of times, but I always denied her. A few years later, I wanted to get my friend count over 100, so I sent her and other family members a request. Mom thought someone had hacked into my account.
As you're all aware, Facebook has changed over the years. It evolved into a platform for people to promote their agendas. I have to admit to being guilty of that as well, but I tried hard to post and comment with honesty and integrity. I worked to read and research articles and memes that I shared, and would add comments to present my perspective. The problem was that there were too many other people who didn't want to do that and seemed to take great joy in contradicting and criticizing my comments.
I recall one time when I made a comment on an article shared by a friend. One of his friends replied to my comment, and went on this lengthy rant about race, which was not even a part of my comment. When I read it, it was obvious he was not calling me a racist, but any casual reader would have thought that was what he was trying to do. I got really upset about it, but I didn't know how to respond. There really is no proper response to being called a racist, or in this case, being implied as one. After thinking about it, I decided the best thing to do was to delete my comment and that would make his go away. The next day, he wrote a comment wondering what happened to his reply. I guess he had gone back to archive his writing because he was just so darn proud of what he had written and how he really slammed me. If I'd known he was going to get that mad about it, I would have taken a screenshot of his remarks before deleting them and then hold them for ransom by making him promise not to respond to any of my remarks ever again.
As we reach the end of our second year of the Trump administration, I see this aspect of Facebook is just going to get a lot worse. I'm tired of coming across it in my newsfeed every day. I don't like Trump and it would be nice if he was no longer President, but I am just so tired of having that drilled by everybody I know.
That's part of the problem. A bigger part is that it seems like my posts don't turn up in my friends' newsfeeds. You're all aware of the rumors about Facebook's algorithms that limit the posts you see to around 25 of your friends. Because I had only 100 friends, this didn't seem to be the case. I would see everyone's posts. But if you have more than 300, you're certainly not going to see everything. This means I get lost in the shuffle for most of my friends. I see my friends post stuff and they get 40 or 50 reactions and comments. Most of the time, I'll post something and it lands like a dull thud.
This is how the algorithms seem to work: If you have a friend and you frequently react and comment on their posts, they will continue to show up in your feed. I you have friends you don't do that for, then you don't see them as much. In order for others to see my posts, one of my friends needs to see it and react to it. When that happens, mutual friends will then see it and they might react, causing more people to see it. This is my theory of how it all works. And of course, you can always visit the profiles of all your friends and see all their posts individually without having to like them. When you do this, you'll likely find that the reason why you haven't seen a post from someone in years is because they haven't posted anything in years. They've given up on Facebook, like I'm doing now, without completely removing themselves.
(I actually have several "friends" who abandoned their profiles and started up new ones. They just didn't want to be deluged with friend requests from people they didn't really know.)
Another reason I want to stop using Facebook is because they've stopped notifying me when my friends are having birthdays. I always posted messages on my friends' timelines because Facebook let me know when to do that. If they're not telling me when the birthdays are, that means they're not telling my friends when it's my birthday.
Even worse is that I'm no longer getting friend requests. If I do get one, it's probably a catfisher. I actually had a few friends I suspected were catfishers, but they never even DM'd me. I mean, you must be a real loser if a catfisher doesn't even bother to follow up.
So, you're probably wondering why I don't just delete my account. Well, there are reasons. Number one is that I need an active account to do Video Chats with my Mom and her husband on Messenger. It's the only way she can do a video face to face with her grandson. I also have other friends that I will occasionally DM because I don't have their phone numbers.
And while I'm going to stop posting on my profile, I will continue to post on my Apink fan page "Apink Updates and My Loser Blog." It's nice because it tracks how many people have seen my posts and I actually get a lot more reactions than I do on my profile. If you enjoy seeing this blog show up in your Facebook feed, you're going to need to like this page because I will continue to share it there.
It should also be noted that I'm doing the same thing with my Instagram account. Those of you who follow me will no longer see me posting photos there. I have to keep that active because of who I follow.
However, you'll find me continuing to post on my Twitter account. But you're just going to get all the stuff I share on my Apink/Blog page and whatever I feel like replying to. It is not taking the place of Facebook. I will also keep my YouTube channel and will occasionally produce new content.
And if you know my real name, I also have a LinkedIn account. But I rarely post there and it's usually just work-related blog posts that I share.
And I'm not asking anyone to boycott Facebook or stop sharing on their profiles. If you're getting a positive experience out of it, you should continue. I've just decided it's no longer for me.
