Advance rejection

Even though I was desparate for a girlfriend in high school, I still had standards for the kind of girl I was willing to date. As I have previously mentioned, I was looking to team up with someone smart. The girls I most wanted to date were among the top students in school. I wanted someone who would complement my mental abilities. However, the smartest girls also happened to be among the most attractive and sure weren't going to look to me to complement them. Even the ones closer to my league lookswise paid me no attention. They would ALL rather date the Alpha males, even the boys who were C students. (You had to maintain at least a C average in all your classes to participate in school sports. Many boys just did the bare minimum so they could concentrate more on their ability to play.)

The point I'm trying to get to is that every once in awhile, I would find that there were girls who appeared to be interested in me. The only problem was that NONE OF THEM MET MY STANDARD FOR APPARENT INTELLIGENCE. I had already made that mistake once before. I didn't want to do it again just for the sake of saying that I had a girlfriend.

One of these girls was Wynd. Wynd was a junior. She was in choir. She was tall and thin. She had long, dark red hair, freckles and dimples. She had a pleasant personality and was someone I was friendly with. She was actually attractive, but was someone my mother might say "has nothing wrong with her." I never saw her as a potential girlfriend.

During one of the choir's performances of "The Music Man," I was sitting on a bench backstage with couple of other people. She came and sat down beside me. She asked me, "Is it okay if I just sit here and flirt with you for awhile?" She started touching my shoulders. I started experiencing the feelings I used to have when I was around my ex-girlfriend. I wasn't certain if I was enjoying this.

I quickly stood up and walked away without saying anything to Wynd. I went to the other side of the auditorium. I had so many things to sort out in my head. I tried to figure out if Wynd was someone I wanted to hook up with. I mean, I liked her, but not like that. Not only was she not a good student, she wasn't a good singer in choir. If she had some semblance of talent, I could at least go with that, but she didn't, so she really didn't have anything to offer me, except the status of dating a junior. But I had already dated a senior, so that was like a step down for me.

I also didn't know what the immediate impact of me walking away was going to be. I was afraid she was going to try something again and I didn't know what I would do or what I would allow to happen. Would I let things go a little further? Would she do something to make me desire her more? Would I change my mind and actually start pursuing her?

But I think the main problem I had was that I was very much interested in someone else I thought I had a chance with: Dayz. I've mentioned her in previous posts, and she may have seemed like someone I only touched base with a couple of times, but there was a lot more that got to happen.

While Wynd and I remained friendly with each other at school for the next year, we never did talk about that incident again. I don't know if she felt hurt or rejected. I hope that she knew that the problem was me and not her.

My senior year, her mother was one of my co-workers at the women's clothing store. She popped in from time to time and we would exchange pleasantries. After I quit that job in the summer of 1982, I never saw her again. I wasn't able to locate her on-line. Some girls are going to be like that. I think many of them never list their maiden names and that's why I can't find them. In a future post, you'll find that Dayz is one of them.