Mistop #6: Biz

(What's a Mistop? Click here!)

Biz is very unique for a Mistop as she is the only woman I retroactively believe that I could have started something with. I didn't want to be with her at the time that I could have dated her, but I now realize what a mistake that might have been. But first, I want to make perfectly clear that this is not about "the one who got away." This is about "lowering my standards so I could've had at least one girlfriend during college."

I first met Biz when I was a senior in high school. I would eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken on a frequent basis. I enjoyed going there because there was this really cute girl who worked behind the counter. She appeared to be about my age, but I never saw her at school before. She always smiled at me when I came in. However, she wasn't always the one waiting on me and I would typically get Biz instead, a situation I didn't like very much. She was not the reason I went there to eat.

I honestly did not find Biz attractive. She kind of looked like Shelley Duvall with freckles.* But of course, she was working with a REALLY CUTE girl, so trying to find something to like about her would have been a chore. She also didn't appear to have much of a personality and clearly didn't enjoy working at KFC.

During the summer of 1982, I was eating at Pizza Hut in the middle of the afternoon. I saw Biz there eating lunch with someone else. I recognized the other person as the really cute girl from KFC, but she looked very different. This was the first time I'd seen her with her hair down (not wearing a KFC cap). She had a child with her. OH! THAT'S WHY I NEVER SAW HER AT SCHOOL! (A side note: It's too bad they didn't wait 15 years to eat out. Otherwise, their meal at Pizza Hut would have been free.)

At the beginning of the Fall 1984 semester at Eastern New Mexico University, I saw Biz in the lobby of the Campus Union Building. I remembered her from KFC and assumed (correctly) that she was starting her freshman year there.

During the summer of 1985, she got involved in the Theatre Department, working on the backstage crew for "Carnival." This was when we really got to know each other. She found out I was from Artesia. She told me she was from Lake Arthur, a small town about ten miles north of Artesia. She had finished high school before I did. (At the time, I assumed she had graduated the year before me, but I just found out she's almost three years older than me.) I told her I remembered she used to work at KFC, but she didn't recall me at all. I never mentioned the really cute girl she used to work with.

One evening, I had arrived at the Theatre to get ready for one of the final dress rehearsals. I was sitting on the inside stairs next to the make-up rooms and talking with someone. Biz came in with one of the other actors. The person I was talking to started talking to the other actor. I was not looking directly at them, but I could feel Biz place her hand on the top of my head. In that instant, I realized that she had a crush on me.

I tried not to think too much about it. I had to get ready for the rehearsal. On opening night, she gave me a big "Hi!" when she saw me. Because I was doing so much for the show, changing costumes and running the sound board, I didn't really see much of Biz during the performance.

After opening night was over, I got out of my costume and went back to the dorm. Biz was sitting on top of the front desk, talking to two other students (who were not in the Theatre Department). She saw me and excitedly said, "Hi, Fayd! Congratulations!" She stuck out her hand so I could shake it. I knew she really just wanted physical contact with me, so I went ahead and shook her hand. She said, "Oh, we're going to go to the Sands Motel Restaurant! Do you want to come?" I said, "Sure." She slid off the desk, and motioned for the other two students to follow us. She then took me by the hand and we started walking out the door.

At this point, I didn't know what was happening. Was this something I wanted to do? Did I need to put a stop to it or to should I see how far it I would let it go? Should I yank my hand away so as to not give her the wrong impression? Would that be rude? I actually never had to get answers to these questions. She stopped holding my hand when she went to push the front door open.

We walked across the street to the restaurant. There were several other cast members there. We all hung out for awhile. Biz didn't try to hold my hand again. She never made any more overtures after that night. I guess she either stopped having a crush or she figured I wasn't going to ask her out and stopped putting any more effort into it.

We didn't see much of each other after the Fall 1985 semester started. I would see her at the Theatre from time to time, but that was it. We never talked and she never took part in another production.

So when I look back at my experience with Biz, there's a part of me that wouldn't have minded a relationship with her. Growing up as a teenager, I couldn't stand it when my Mom would say about a girl, "There's nothing wrong with her!" I have to say that describes Biz. There really was nothing wrong with her that should have prevented me from trying to find out if we were meant for each other.

But I did have a few issues. While the current version of me would describe her as "quirky cute," she was not "smart quirky cute." This was me being really stubborn about my standards. I never saw Biz as someone who would sweep me off my feet with her intellect. I had a hard time imagining me with the girl I knew from KFC and I didn't like that I might get involved with someone who grew up just ten miles away from me. It also freaked me out that she was older than me, but was two years behind me in college. That was just weird. However, seeing as how no one else came along, it shouldn't have been a big deal to explore the possibility of a relationship at that time.

And even though I now would have liked for us to become romantically involved, I'm actually glad we didn't. I probably would have figured that this was going to be the best that I could do and latch onto her. We would have gotten married and had at least one child (even though my Mom probably wouldn't have liked her). As we all know, I simply was not mature enough in my early 20s to be a husband and father. Bad things would have happened and we likely would have been hurt in the process.

So, what has happened to her? I'd actually been trying to locate her the last few years on the Internet. Right before I started writing this post, I located her. From what I've gathered, she lives in Albuquerque now and has a different last name. Her Facebook profile features a photo of a girl (not Biz) holding a dog, but there doesn't appear to have been any activity since January of 2010. I know she never graduated from ENMU. That's all the actual information I could find about her.

In my investigation, I found her possibly connected to some guy with the same unusual last name as the one I found. This guy lives in Albuquerque and works at Sandia Labs. He graduated from ENMU in 1989, three years after me. This means that we were in college together, but I don't remember ever having met him. It also means that he and Biz would have been at ENMU at the same time. He got his degree in Business. I really didn't hang out with the Business students much. Judging from his Facebook profile, he appears kind of geeky and has been involved with the Society of Creative Anachronism. The latest ENMU Alumni Directory came out about a month ago. Alumni are able to list their spouses and children. He has two children listed, but no spouse.

I did come across the the Facebook profiles of her daughters. One of them had a photo of her with Biz from a few years ago. She looked the same, but was obviously older. She was still thin. I do get this feeling I will run into her again some day. I'll likely never mention this post, but it would be interesting if she accidentally came across it.

* (I would like to point out that during that period of time in high school, I DID find Shelley Duvall attractive. I didn't figure out the similarity in the features until I started writing this article. If I had made that connection at the time, my reaction to Biz' appearance would have been less adverse. However, as I point out in the very next sentence, I was blinded by the cuteness of the other girl and kind of turned off by Biz' attitude. If the cute girl wasn't there and Biz was the one to light up when she saw me, I probably would have liked her much earlier.)