Radio Tease # 8: Coz

(What's a Radio Tease? Click here!)

I reluctantly refer to Coz as a Radio Tease, because she was pretty clear about that from the beginning that she wasn't going to be my girlfriend. But we didn't go on a date, so she can't be a Friend Zone. She wasn't married, so she can't be a Ring Zone. She's not a Mistop or a Lostop because I definitely know she didn't have any romantic feelings for me. I can't refer to her as an Unusual Friend because I never went inside her house to hang out. My options are kind of limited here.

About three weeks before I left for Denver, I got a call a few minutes before my shift. A woman asked if we played anything by The Cure and some other alternative bands that I was aware of. My first thought was, "Oh, my gosh! It's the woman of my dreams!" I told her we had played The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" some months before, and even though I liked them and the other bands she listed, we weren't playing them now. I also told her that she was probably the only person in town who liked that kind of music. She said she moved with her father to Clovis from Killeen, TX, a pretty good-sized city a little more than 60 miles north of Austin. It made sense that she would be exposed to that music there.

She told me her name was Coz and she really missed the scene in Killeen, where there were all-ages clubs she was able to go to. I told her there wasn't anything like that in Clovis and she'd probably have to travel four hours to Albuquerque for anything like that. I seriously doubted Amarillo or Lubbock had any clubs like that. I told her I'd like to meet her and that I was going to be at a live remote that weekend. She said she would probably come.

That Saturday, she did indeed show up at the remote. I saw her when she was walking up toward where we were. She was with her two cousins. She was exactly as I'd imagined, with dyed black spiky hair and goth-style make-up (although she wasn't exactly goth). Her cousins just looked like mainstream high school girls, which they were.

After the remote was over, they got in my car and we drove to the mall. We went inside Walmart and she shoplifted some makeup. We got something to eat there. I made some comment about us actually going out on a date and she said, "I want to make one thing clear: I am not going to be your girlfriend. I already have a boyfriend in Texas right now, and we're kind of engaged. I'll be your friend, because you're the only cool person here in town, but we are not going to be a couple." I didn't like what she had to say, but I was glad she wasn't going to lead me on like all those other Radio Teases I had dealt with the year before. It was just as well, because I needed one less reason to stay in Clovis. Even though I had made my plans to move to Denver, I hadn't turned in my final resignation to the station at this point.

The next day, I went to the station to write a dedication to her for the station's Sunday Night Program "KZZO Love Songs." (It was no longer "Love Songs on the Zoo" because we weren't calling ourselves "The Zoo" anymore. For whatever reason, I still have that dedication I typed. It reads "Dear KZZO Love Songs: Yesterday, I met the woman of my dreams, but unfortunately, I cannot wake up with her in my reality because she happens to be somewhat engaged to someone else. I entirely admire her taste in music, her style, and her perpetually intriguing personal flavor, which I wish to savor like an ice cream cone that never melts. (What? Did I actually write that? UGH!) Much to my dismay, her interest in me is expressed only as a friend, so if it must be in this respect that I can cherish her company, I have no choice but to put my falsely self-encouraged feelings aside and become a friend to her needs. I would like for you to play 'Just Like Heaven' by the Cure or 'Sign Your Name' by Terence Trent D'Arby and send it toward Coz, telling her that I would indeed be interested in a state of friendliness with her."

If I remember correctly, they actually played "Just Like Heaven." Mine was the last dedication of the program, so it kind of didn't matter that it wasn't a soft love song. I don't think she heard the actual dedication. I think I had to read it to her later. She enjoyed what I wrote.

We got to hang out a couple of more times before I left town, but we didn't really do anything. Even though she was 18, she was living with her father, who didn't really allow her to go out. I guess he was trying to get her away from the bad influences in Killeen, like her boyfriend. The last time I saw her, I got to take some photos of her, one of which is at the top of this post. It's one of the few times I purposefully took a photo of the back of someone's head.

After I moved to Denver, we wrote each other a few times. In the first letter she wrote, she revealed that she was moving back to Killeen and asked me to buy her a D.R.I. cassette. I did that and sent it with copies of the photos I took with my next letter. She sent me a second letter before she received the package. When she wrote back, she sent the tape, after opening it and listening to it. Here's part of the third letter:

In that letter, she revealed that she was going to be moving to Dallas in two weeks. I never wrote her again and she never wrote me. I wasn't able to get my money back on that D.R.I. cassette. I also did not care much for it.

While I was in Denver, I met people like her and became friends with them. But, like her, I didn't become romantically involved with them, either. And those are stories for another day.