Bedmate #1: Joz

(What's a Bedmate? Click here!)

I found Joz through the personal ads. I don't recall exactly what hers said. But she did call me back.

She was 21 years old. She told me she had already been married and divorced. Her husband was an older man who owned a ranch and was rather wealthy. She had gotten pregnant. At one point, her husband got mad at her and punched her in the stomach. This caused her to have a miscarriage, and it turned out to be twins. He swore he'd never let that happen again and started treating her like a princess. But she didn't like this either because it didn't feel genuine. She filed for the divorce and I don't think she got any money out of it. (But also, she could have been making all this up as I was somehow prone to finding women who liked to do that.)

She told me that she sort of had an actual boyfriend at the time, but wanted to make friends and that's why she posted the ad. She still wanted to meet me and gave me directions to her house. I came up. She was pretty much how she described herself. She had long blond hair and light blue eyes. She was also a little overweight, but it didn't bother me. She had a rather flirtatious personality. Her "boyfriend" was also there at the time.

She lived in a standalone building with one room behind a house. She was technically the roommate of the woman who lived in the house, but the building didn't have a bathroom. She had a waterbed, dresser, TV, VCR and phone in there.

With her "boyfriend," she was the first real girlfriend he'd ever been with, so he didn't start getting all jealous because she kept having guys coming up to meet her from the personal ad. She told me that she had arranged to have one guy come over, but when he saw the "boyfriend," he got upset and left.

We started making inroads to becoming friends. I would go up every once in a while to hang out with her. Sometimes, the boyfriend would be there. Sometimes, he wouldn't be. Sometimes, other guys would show up. It was a strange friendship, but I didn't have anywhere else I could go where I could hang out with someone, so I would spend a lot of time there.

The woman who lived in the main house had a child. She had divorced the father, but he would come around at least once a month to drop off the child support money. And when he did, he would demand sex from her before he would hand the money over. She would always oblige. I was never around when this happened. The woman had a boyfriend who was around most of the time. Once he saw me and asked what the deal was with me coming up all the time to see Joz. He was kind of being intimidating about it. I told him all I was doing was hanging out. Joz had to yell at him to back off. I have no idea what was going on.

During our initial conversations, Joz told me that she preferred not to be in bed alone at night. One evening, we were spending time together and I was the only one there. She asked me to spend the night and sleep in the bed with her. I had actually been hoping that this was going to happen sometime, and it did. I didn't have any expectations about what was going to happen. We both fell asleep on the bed and never once touched each other the entire night.

However, I did wake up in the middle of the night and needed to go to the bathroom. I knew I couldn't go in the house and I knew I couldn't hold it in until morning, so I peed in the backyard and hoped no one saw me. When we woke up in the morning, I simply went home. Nothing happened.

And that was the extent of her being a bedmate. I never got to spend the night there again. But we did get to go on an actual date. We went out to eat at the Corvette Diner in Hillcrest. It was across the street from the Hillcrest Cinemas, where I used to work. I was rather familiar with the management there because I would provide them with passes that they could give to their customers.

When we went, I saw one of the managers and called to her. She remembered me. Joz and I sat down to order. I didn't tell her to do this, but she ordered one of the cheapest things on the menu. I did, too. The total came up to about what I had in my pocket. Then the manager came over and told me that because of everything I had done in giving them passes from the theatre, the meal was on the house. It was great news! But I regretted not ordering something more expensive. (But that's probably why they decided to treat me.) I did leave a tip for the servers.

I was supposed to take Joz and drop her off at this guy's house. We got there later than she told him she would be there. This guy was in the military and Joz was being very flirty with him. This meant that I provided her meal and she probably slept with that guy. But at least I had the satisfaction of making him wait for it.

When I left Joz, I realized that I was only five minutes away from the Barona Casino. I took the money I saved from the dinner and played 21. I wound up losing it. Such is the life of a gambling addict.

I never saw Joz or spoke to her again after that night. It wouldn't surprise me if she got married to that guy. I don't recall her last name, so I can't find out where she is right now.

But I never saw her as a great loss. I never really had her to start with.