As I've mentioned before, I enjoyed trying to meet women through the personal ads in the San Diego Reader alternative weekly. Honestly, I never got a girlfriend through it. Thoz was no different in this regard, but she wound up being one of my best friends in San Diego.
Around June of 1995, I saw an ad with the headline, "Loves to Cook." I can't say that was the part that appealed to me, but I remember it. I do recall that she stated she was 23 years old and was looking to meet someone 22 - 29. I was 30 at the time and figured it wasn't too far out of her range. I left a message on her voice mail. I was surprised when she called me back because I did tell her how old I was.
One of the first questions she asked me was which state was I born in. I told her "New Mexico." She continued to talk to me. I don't recall much about the conversation, but we decided to meet that Saturday at the Family Fun Center in Kearny Mesa. She said I would find her in the parking lot with a white convertible. I was just one year into the aftermath of my bankruptcy and was barely living paycheck to paycheck. I'd hoped that we weren't going to have to pay money to do something like play miniature golf or go on rides, because that just wasn't in my budget. I was at a point in which I didn't mind spending money on food, but entertainment just seemed like a waste.
I found her right away. She had described herself pretty well. She had long, medium dark hair in a ponytail. Even though she was wearing sunglasses, I could tell immediately that she was out of my league. However, she did have a big smile when she saw me. We talked for a little bit. She asked me if I wanted to go into the Fun Center or go get something to eat. I opted for the food. She asked me to get in her car and we would drive someplace.
After we were a couple of blocks away from the Center, she said, "So, what are we going to eat? Spaghetti, you think?" "Yeah, probably." "Well, I've got spaghetti I made at home that we can have. Let's just go to my house and eat there so we won't have to waste money." I was really starting to like her.
We got to her house in La Jolla. It was rather large. Her father was an accountant and was fairly well-off. She had a dog there named P-nut. It was a schnauzer mix. We started talking and I found out a lot about her.
For starters, she had recently come close to getting married. She didn't give me details about what happened, but she looked back and realized that she'd only ever been in committed relationships throughout high school and college, one guy at a time. She wanted to see what it was like to date a whole bunch of guys all at once, so she submitted the personal ad. She wasn't looking to hook up or anything. She just wanted to have a good time without having to worry about getting attached to someone.
My first thought was that this meant that my chances of having her as a girlfriend were zero. However, I liked her and I liked the idea of hanging out with her and being seen with her from time to time. I didn't have a problem with being put in the friend zone this time because she was so upfront about it.
She also told me she had been adopted. She was in the process of finding her birth mother. One thing she knew was that she had a brother by the same mother and this brother was born in California. She said because of this, she wouldn't date any guy who was born in California. This was why she asked which state I was born in during our first conversation.
She drove me back to the Fun Center, so I could get my car and go home. She told me she wanted me to call her again and we'd go do something. I actually had something to look forward to.
And the story continues tomorrow.
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