Don't try to hunt with it

Sometimes, you see stuff at a store and you wonder if anyone ever thinks it a good idea to buy it.



Maybe it works better if you get the bear to scratch your back.

A trip to the hospital

A couple of weeks went by in which I was adjusting to my new life without Kelz and Sasd. However, that didn't really last very long. One day, I got a call from Kelz. She told me that Sasd was taken to Children's Hospital. She asked me to come over and gave me the room number where she would be.

I jumped in the car and drove up to the hospital. When I got there, Sasd appeared to be in shock while they were inserting tubes through her nose. Kelz was telling the doctor what happened. She noticed that Sasd had stopped breathing and her lips were turning blue. That was when she called 911. The ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital.

After a few minutes, Sasd was acting like her normal self and didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong. She was smiling and laughing. But they were going to have to keep her there for observation for a couple of days. Kelz said she wanted me to stick around and spend the night there in the hospital room. The funny thing was that early in our relationship, Kelz and I once drove past Children's Hospital and I wondered out loud what it would be like to stay there. And now, I was going to find out!

It's not really very good for adults. The "beds" were chairs that would fold out so you could sleep on them. The staff would provide a couple of pillows and blankets, but they weren't very comfortable. Neither Kelz nor I could sleep very well. We spent a lot of time talking.

The doctors said that Sasd likely had some respiratory issues and she would need to be attached to a monitor when sleeping. I was worried about this. I'd seen stories about women suffering from Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy because of these monitors and was afraid it would affect Kelz that way. (As it turned out, it didn't.) The doctor also recommended that Sasd sleep in a crib with a slanted mattress and a harness designed to hold her in place so she wouldn't slide down. The doctor asked if Kelz had such a crib. Kelz looked at me. I had the crib at my apartment and Mom told me not to let her have it. I sighed and said, "Yes, she has a crib we can adjust like that."

Before taking Kelz and Sasd back to Mr. & Mrs. B's, I stopped by the cottage and got the crib. I brought it in the house and assembled it as instructed. It would work very well.

But the monitoring device was a bit of a pain. If one wire happened to fall off, the alarm would go off. It's bad enough that you're worried a baby will stop breathing in the middle of the night. But you really go into panic mode every time the alarm goes off. It turns out to be a little disappointing when nothing is really wrong. I can see how easy it is to have Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy affect someone.

A few weeks later, Kelz sold the crib and kept the money. She just had Sasd sleep in a little stand that held her upright. Mom was right, but I wound up getting paid back for that. As usual, you'll find out how that happened later.

A reluctant grandmother

The week I moved to get away from Kelz and Sasd was the same week my Mom was coming to visit for three days. She was rather disappointed that she probably wasn't going to get to play grandma like she had just three months earlier, but decided to make the best of the visit with me.

I had to pick her up from the San Diego airport very early in the morning, like around 4am. I parked my car, went inside and waited for her flight to arrive. She finally came out, we walked out to the car and left. The plan was for me to drop her off at the cottage, she would catch up on her sleep while I went to work.

On the way, I explained that Kelz and Sasd were staying with some people and I still had contact with them. I also told her about some stuff that was going on around town. The Del Mar Fair was opening that day and the X-Games were going on, so there was going to be plenty to do. She had picked a good weekend to come visit.

We arrived at the cottage and went inside. Mom started unpacking her clothes in the living room, where she would be sleeping. She saw the size of the cottage and started crying. She felt like I had given up a really good apartment because of Kelz. I didn't tell her about the criminal element that I was also trying to get away from. I went to work.

When I came back home, Mom decided she wanted to go to both the Del Mar Fair and the X-Games. We would go to the Del Mar Fair that evening and the X-Games the next day. It sounded like a plan. Then she asked if I wanted to invite Kelz and Sasd to go along with us. "Do you really want to do that?" "Sure!" I called Kelz and yes, she did want to go.

We drove over to the house where Kelz and Sasd were staying. Mom met Mrs. B. We loaded everyone in the car and drove to the fair. Mom and Kelz appeared to get along okay. While traffic was very slow getting there, we did eventually arrive. While nothing extraordinary happened while we walked around, there was something unusual happening between me and Kelz. We were acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. Mom was probably bewildered by this, and I have to admit that I was, too. At one point, Mom offered to walk Sasd around in her stroller while Kelz and I went on some rides. So Mom did get to be a grandmother again.

At one point, Kelz and I were at the games. We were at one booth that featured Skeeball. The prizes were these stuffed aliens. Kelz wanted one so she could say she slept with an alien. I tried a few times and I was finally able to score enough points to win a hand-sized alien. Kelz said it would do.

We met back up with Mom and left the fair. We drove Kelz and Sasd back to where they were staying. Mom and I went back to the cottage. Mom really didn't know what to think about the situation, but didn't say much about it.

The next day, we got ready to go to the X-Games. Mom asked if we should invite Kelz. I tried calling the house, but no one picked up. Mom and I started leaving the cottage when the phone rang. I knew it was Kelz and I decided not to pick up. I knew that Mission Beach and the X-Games would not be a good place to take a baby.

The great thing about the X-Games is that it was free to attend. All we had to do was park the car and get on a bus that would take us there. Mission Beach was practically set up like a theme park. Mom and I got to see a lot of stuff. We saw an extreme bicycle demonstration and a mountain bike on a half-pipe competition that aired live on TV. It was all very exciting, but a lot of the day was spent waiting in line. When we were seated for the competition, I had to get up and buy some drinks. When I returned, I had to wait in line to get into the stands again.

The next day, I planned to take Mom to see Balboa Park. She asked if we should invite Kelz and Sasd and do a picnic. I didn't explain that you didn't really do picnics at Balboa Park and just figured we'd get some food there and call it a picnic. I called up Kelz. She said she and Sasd would go. We picked them up. I don't remember what happened between Mrs. B's house and getting to the park, but Kelz got REALLY upset. It was in the same manner that Mom had experienced the two times she came to Artesia. Mom said, "Fayd, just take me back to the cottage. You and Kelz can go." I drove Mom back home. When we got back on the road, Kelz started saying a lot of bad stuff about Mom. I got mad at her and told her that Mom was trying really hard to be nice. "I don't want to go to the park. You can just take me and Sasd back home!" I gladly obliged.

I came back to the cottage and told Mom that Kelz and I didn't go to the park. Mom was relieved that she didn't have to put up with Kelz anymore. We then went to Balboa Park and I was able to show her what it was all about. She was amazed.

The next day, I had to drive Mom back to the airport. She told me that under no circumstances was I to let Kelz have the crib. Mom had originally paid for that crib and I had taken it with me to the cottage when I moved. She didn't want that money going to waste.

Mom never saw Kelz or Sasd again. But she still wonders about what happened to Sasd sometimes.

Follow-up on the Relationship Wreckers and Others

Before I get into the next phase of my relationship with Kelz, I thought I would do the final word on a some of the characters who were heavily involved in the previous phase. After these encounters, I'll never have to mention them again.

A couple of weeks after I had moved into the cottage, I was driving home from work. The route I took to get to the cottage was similar to the route I took to get to the old apartment. Out of a force of habit, I drove to the old apartment and pulled into my parking space. Jaid was outside and waved at me. I waved back and realized I was at the wrong house. I lowered my head, backed up my car and drove to my new place. That was the last time I saw Jaid.

A couple of months later, I drove home from work. I passed the street for the old apartment. On the opposite side of the road, I saw Krud walking toward his apartment. Kelz and Sasd happened to be in the cottage at the time. (I will be getting to that in a later post.) I knew that he had just been at the cottage visiting with Kelz. But I didn't ask her about it. I just KNEW! That was the last time I saw Krud and I'm pretty certain he didn't see me.

(I should point out that I would continue to deal with Krud's mother and step-father as Kelz and Sasd were staying at their house. But I am grateful that he was never there when I was.)

A year later, I was shopping at Lucky. I took my groceries out to my car. I suddenly heard a voice behind me. "Hey! Didn't you used to know Kelz?" I turned around and found myself face to face with Wod. He asked, "Do you remember me?" Trying to keep the straightest face I could, I said, "No, I don't." I turned back around, got in my car and drove off without looking back. I would never see him again.

While I'm at it, I'll also give the final word on Brod, Sasd's father. Kelz told me that he came over to the apartment a couple of weeks after she had been born. (I didn't have a problem with this. I just didn't like how he likely freaked me out the first night we were home.) A few weeks after I had abandoned Kelz and Sasd, I had planned a trip to New Mexico and Denver. (That's coming up.) The day before I left, I was getting my mail from the personal mail box I used for my music business (and eventually became my permanent mailbox in San Diego). As I was going inside, I heard someone holler at me. I turned around and saw Brod in a car with some woman I'd never met before. I was surprised to see him, because just a few weeks earlier, he had been in the hospital getting treated for cancer (which was a story I didn't go into detail about). He seemed genuinely happy to see me and asked how I was doing. I asked how his recovery was going. He said he felt great, and that was it. I have no idea where he is now.

And even though she didn't play much of a role in all this, I saw the neighbor who first greeted us when Kelz came back from the hospital with Sasd. She lived in the unit underneath Krud's apartment. This was more than a year after I had moved out. I was getting into my car at McDonald's when she came up to me. She told me there was mail waiting for me at the old apartment. I drove over there. I quickly went into the common area where the mailbox was and saw an envelope stuck on the outside to be returned to the sender. It was a wedding invitation from my cousin Jend. I thought it was a strange coincidence that the day I had mail, I ran into that neighbor.

I don't remember any of their full names, so I wasn't able to find them on the Internet. I have a feeling that all three Relationship Wreckers wound up getting arrested one way or another.

The Big Move

The day had come that I was going to abandon Kelz and Sasd and take all my furniture and other belongings to my new apartment. I had it planned for the afternoon. I was going to pick up Abed, go over to Thoz' apartment, get her roommate's pickup and the three of us were going to take a few trips to transport everything. From what I could tell, Kelz hadn't figured out what she and Sasd were going to do for a place to live.

But I still had several hours before I would get to do that. In the morning, I went over to Jaid's apartment. This was the point that we had the conversation in which he told me Kelz had slept with Krud. When I went back to my apartment, Kelz informed me she heard everything and we got in a shouting match. She didn't like that I was kicking her to the curb, but she didn't see that she had done things that made me want to leave.

At one point, she calmed down and asked if she and Sasd could come stay with me in the cottage until she could figure out where they could go. I really didn't want them to have to live on the street. I figured that getting out of that environment with Jaid, Krud and Wod would be an improvement for all of us. Against my better judgement, I told her that yes, they could come stay with me temporarily.

The very next second, she started getting angry. "I can't believe that you cheated on me with Thoz!" I knew where this was heading. I said, "Okay, that's it! I've changed my mind! You and Sasd are NOT going to stay with me!" Then she came toward me and started screaming. She tried to dig her fingers into me and wound up shredding my t-shirt off. Then, she went into the bedroom where, for some reason, we had this big rock on the floor. She picked it up and threw it. It knocked a hole in the drywall. I realized I was probably not going to get my security deposit back. (There were other damages in the apartment, including having the bedroom door torn off the hinges from her slamming it so much.)

I had already moved all my clothes and other small items over to the cottage. This meant that I didn't have a clean shirt to wear. Fortunately, a dirty t-shirt of mine that Kelz had worn was on the floor. I was able to put that on and wear it. I left the apartment and didn't plan to return until I was going to come back with the pickup. Even though I spent the next couple of hours at the cottage, I didn't change the shirt. I figured if she was just going to tear another one off me, it might as well not be one that was clean.

The time came for me to pick up Abed and go over to Thoz'. We got there before her roommate had gotten home, so we had to wait. Thoz told me she wasn't going to be able to help me move. She said it was too bad, because she was looking forward to Kelz attempting to attack her so she could empty a whole can of pepper spray into her face. I was actually glad that wasn't going to happen.

Thoz' roommate arrived and gave me the keys. She didn't want any money for the pickup, but did ask that we fill up the tank. That wasn't a problem. Abed and I went to the apartment. Wod was there. All Kelz would do was say mean things about me while we were grabbing stuff. We loaded up the furniture, drove it over and took it inside.

When we returned, Krud came out and asked, "Hey, where's your girlfriend? I thought she was going to be helping you!" He was talking about Thoz. I guess when Kelz told him she thought I was cheating on her, she built up this image of Thoz as a "tall, skinny hoochie mama with big boobs." I'm certain Krud thought, "Wow, her boobs are bigger than Kelz'? I gotta check this out!" So, he was probably very disappointed that Thoz wasn't there.

Abed and I did the second load and came back one more time. Kelz continued her tirade about me kicking her to the curb. Abed then yelled at Kelz, "What the f*** is wrong with you? You'd better stop doing this s***!" After we left, Abed questioned why she would hang out with some homeless guy who was drinking out of a 40-ounce bottle of beer and why she would want to expose her baby to that. I don't know how Abed felt before about me abandoning them, but I think after he saw for himself what was going on, he agreed that I was doing the right thing.

We filled up the pickup with gas, thankful that Kelz or Wod didn't attempt to damage it. We took it back to Thoz' roommate and I drove Abed home. I went to the cottage and started arranging my belongings. While this was going on, I got a call from Kelz. (I had given her my new phone number.) She said that Krud had talked his mother into allowing her and Sasd to stay with her. She said it was a large house and there was plenty of room. I was relieved she was able to get help and surprised that it came from Krud. She also asked me to apologize to Abed for her. She didn't mean to make him yell at her.

Since I knew she wasn't there, I went back to the apartment to survey the damage. It wasn't any more damaged than when I made my last trip with the furniture. That was something else to be thankful for. While I was doing this, Krud came by. He told me he could show me where his mother lived and that we should go over and see Kelz and Sasd. His mother and step-father lived in the San Carlos neighborhood of San Diego. It wasn't very far away. He said the best thing about it was that it was miles away from the closest 7-Eleven.

I met Krud's mother and step-father, Mr. & Mrs. B. They seemed nice. I was a little afraid of how Kelz might take advantage of the situation and become an attractive nuisance again. But if there was going to be a problem, it would happen here and not at my house. Kelz didn't have a whole lot to say to me. She was calm, but still angry.

Krud and I drove back. I went about trying to clean the apartment. Krud told me he knew someone who could fix that hole in the drywall. I told him that the next day was the last day I'd be able to be in the apartment and I didn't think that would be enough time to arrange to get it fixed. I was just going to have to lose money on the deposit.

Krud asked me, "I'm probably never going to see you again, am I?" I responded, "Probably not." It turned out to be true.

But it was not the last time I saw Kelz. We are still quite a ways from the end of this story.

My park is worse than my plight

A few weeks ago, I did a video titled, "Fayd vs. Morgan Hill Parking Enforcement." I complained about a lack of parking spaces on the street. Here is an update:



It is nice that this inconvenience is no longer a burden for me. Unfortunately, I haven't been getting as much exercise since.

Trying to close the era

I thought the end of my relationship with Kelz was about to happen. I just had to wait a couple of weeks before I would get to move into my new apartment. In the meantime, I did whatever I had to in order to keep my sanity intact.

One bad consequence is that my Mom called my house one day to let me know that she was planning a trip to come out to see me, Kelz and Sasd. Because Kelz was home and could hear every word I was saying, I told Mom that it would be a great idea for her to come out. I hoped that she wouldn't book the flight right away.

The next day, I called her from work. She had already made the reservations. I told her I was abandoning Kelz and Sasd and moving into a new apartment. She was very disappointed because she had already spent the money. I said she could go ahead, come out and stay with me for a couple of days and we'd have a nice visit, but she probably wouldn't get to see Sasd. I felt like a connection with family was something I needed around this time. She continued with her plans.

Since I attempted to report Kelz to CPS, we had not been intimate. She usually slept in the bed in the living room. That meant I had to tend to Sasd in the middle of the night. Fortunately, she rarely woke up.

One morning, I woke up to go to work. Kelz was asleep on the bed in the living room and Twod was sleeping next to her. They were both fully clothed and apart, so I don't think anything happened between them. I just left without saying anything. Kelz told me later that she heard Sasd crying and wondering why I wasn't doing anything. She got up and found out I wasn't there. She didn't get mad, but was surprised she didn't hear me leave.

A couple of nights later, we were watching some porn videos that she had borrowed from Krud. We started to fool around. Suddenly, I saw a blood stain on her pants near her crotch. Nope, it wasn't going to happen that night.

And as it turned out, the opportunity would not arise again while we lived at the apartment. Soon after that, she found out from Jaid that I had been planning to move out. She was angry that I had been keeping this from her for the past few weeks. I told her that I had planned to let her know a couple of days before it happened (but that wasn't true). I said that I couldn't put up with her nonsense anymore and I had to get out (which was true). She kept asking where she and Sasd were going to go. I didn't know, but she had more time to figure it out. I had honestly reached that point that I didn't care enough to try to set something up for her.

I don't know why I did this, but we were driving around with Sasd and I decided to show her the cottage where I was moving. When I opened the front door, the first thing she saw was the foam mattress on the floor. "Oh, I see this is where you've been bringing your women!" She looked around further and shook her head at the size of the cottage. "Oh, no! We can't live here." Well, I wasn't asking them to move in!

Nothing else happened until the day of the big move. As you'll find out on Monday, THAT was a day of drama!

Biding my time

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I was doing what I could to avoid being at the apartment as much as possible. I tried to be there for the baby, but Kelz and everyone else there made me feel like self-preservation was more important. The only thing I could do was stop caring.

One of the other neighbors (who I haven't mentioned before, AND hadn't had any contact with before or after) came up to me and told me he looked in the front door when it was open and saw Kelz sleeping on the bed in the living room while Sasd was next to her and wide awake. I told him there wasn't anything I could really do about that. He said he was going to report us to Child Protective Services. I told him to go ahead and do that. I think he was shocked that I called his bluff. As far as I know, he never called them.

Really, I think he was concerned about the criminal element that had been introduced and saw Kelz as the catalyst. In my head, I referred to her as an "attractive nuisance." It seemed like no matter where she was, there was going to be lots of trouble nearby. While she didn't always initiate it, she did appear to enjoy stirring the pot.

I mentioned once before how I had left for work in the middle of the night when a situation had arisen with Wod. This was a stunt I would pull a couple more times. Once, after I came back from work, Kelz asked me where I went. I told her I was at work. "No! You spent the night with someone. Who were you with?" "No one. I was at work." "You're lying! You were with Thoz, weren't you?" "She and I are just friends. I wasn't with her." "TELL ME THE TRUTH!" "THAT IS THE TRUTH!" "I don't believe you!"

I went on about my day. For some reason, I had to leave the house that evening and came back late. When I got home, I found this letter on the bed in the living room:

I had done all I could. I slept in the living room. It didn't really bother me.

The next day, I called Baz at the drug store in Hillcrest where she worked. I called because a singer-songwriter I liked a lot worked with her before she moved back home to Chicago. She was supposed to be visiting and I wanted to ask Baz if she knew when she was going to be in town. As it happened, that singer-songwriter happened to be at the store that very moment. I briefly talked to her. She knew about my original situation with Kelz, but didn't know about the baby, so I quickly caught her up, including the fact that I was going to abandon Kelz and Sasd. We probably weren't on the phone more than two minutes.

Right after I got off the phone with the singer-songwriter, I called Thoz, who used to attend her performances with me. I told her, "Hey, guess who I just talked to? [singer-songwriter]!" Thoz replied, "Hey, guess who just threatened me?" "Uh, [singer-songwriter]?" "NO! KELZ!" I thought she was joking around. She wasn't, and she was VERY upset.

I had kept Thoz abreast of the situation surrounding my abandoning Kelz and Sasd. Since I last saw Thoz, she had moved out of her grandmother's house and into an apartment with two roommates. One of her roommates had a pickup truck and Thoz helped arrange for me to borrow that truck for my move.

Kelz would call up and leave the threatening messages on the answering machine at the apartment. Thoz knew she wasn't serious, but Kelz freaked out her roommates. Once, Kelz called twice in a row and left messages. The phone rang a third time. Thoz' roommate (the one with the pickup) said, "I'll take care of this," and picked up the phone. She offered a VERY gruff "HELLO?" But it was someone else calling.

And I guess that Kelz felt really bad about sleeping around on me. But I also guess that she wanted to justify it, so the best way would be to get me to confess to cheating on her, even if it wasn't true. I didn't give in because I knew I hadn't been unfaithful.

I came home and Kelz was no longer angry at me. She said she had discussed the situation with Krud and he "explained" why it was that men needed to have girlfriends on the side. He said it had nothing to do with me not loving her, it was just something men had to do. She said she wasn't going to get mad about it any more and I could go ahead and sleep with whomever I wanted. This really wasn't a solution, but if it stopped her from being mad at me and threatening Thoz, I could live with it.

I just knew I wasn't going to have to live with it much longer.

Apartment #10: 4635 33rd St., San Diego, CA 1997 - 1999

This would wind up being the second time in my life that I decided to move into a dwelling without seeing the inside first. (But it wouldn't be the last.) When I went to check it out, the current tenant was moving her stuff from the apartment out to her car. There were four units on this property. The main house in front had been split up into two units. Then there were the two cottages in the rear. This appealed to me because it meant I wouldn't have to share a wall with anyone.

The bad thing was that the inside was much smaller than my apartment at that time. In fact, the interior of the cottage could probably all fit inside the living room and kitchen area. The kitchen here was VERY narrow. You couldn't stand in front of the oven when you opened the door. AND the oven was so old that you had to light the pilot every time you wanted to bake or cook something.

There was also an area next to the kitchen where you were supposed to put your dining room table. However, that space was taken up by the refrigerator. I move the fridge closer to the counter to have more room, even though I didn't put a table there.

The picture above shows the view of the cottage from the alley. That was where the parking spots were for this cottage and the one next door. Fortunately, the residents in the cottage next door always parked behind their house, so I always had an extra parking space. (Since then, a chain-link fence has been installed to prevent that.) When I lived there, it didn't have a fence (wooden or otherwise) or a satellite dish. (In San Diego, you didn't really need satellite or cable TV.) One thing that is missing from the photo is an avocado tree that used to grow there. I don't care much for avocados, but it was nice to know that I had some sort of food supply in the event I was starving.

The apartment was located close to Normal Heights. This was a great area of town that featured a lot of local businesses, including coffee houses and bars that featured live music. I was a half-block away from most of it. AND it was where they held the Adams Avenue Street Festival and Roots Festival every year. I didn't have to scour for parking.

After Operation Fake Eviction was successful, I informed the property management company that while they did not need to follow through with the eviction, I was still going to move into that cottage. They told me I could move in anytime I wanted because the previous tenant had moved out.

The first thing I took over there was the foam mattress. Almost every day after work, I would go to the cottage instead of coming straight home to Kelz and Sasd. I would lay down and take a nap for a couple of hours. This went on for more than a week. I knew that it didn't matter what time I came home, I was going to have to deal with drama. And just because the night came and Sasd was asleep, it didn't mean the drama was over for the day. It was nice to have this place to get away from it all for at least a brief period of time.

I lived at this address for more than a year after Kelz had left my life. Toward the end of 1998, Abed moved back to San Diego from Los Angeles. Because I had two beds (one in the bedroom and one in the living room), we were able to live here together for a few months before we found a suitable two-bedroom apartment.

During the time I was single, I immensely enjoyed living here. But I wouldn't get to live in another dwelling separate from other units for 15 years.

My Deepest, Darkest Secret

This is it, in a nutshell: I used to work for a drug-dealing pimp. (And I'm not counting this among my official jobs.)

It all started one night after 11pm. I was already in bed asleep so I could go to work the next day. Kelz came into the bedroom and told me I needed to drive Jaid somewhere. Jaid didn't have a car at the time. She told me he would pay me $15. I put on my clothes and went to the car. He got in and had a paper bag with him.

He gave the address where I needed to take him. It was just a few miles away. We drove over and I parked across the street. He said he would give me $15. I told him that the gas didn't cost that much and I'd settle for $5. "You sure?" "Yeah, this isn't a problem." He gave me the money and told me to go ahead and leave. He'd be able to find a way home. I left and didn't think much about it.

When I got home, Kelz asked me if he paid me. I told her about the $5. "It was supposed to be $15!" "I didn't have to drive him that far." "Jaid's got plenty of money! He could have afforded it!" Then she said, "You know he was dropping off drugs, right?" I didn't know that. I knew he was a pimp, but I didn't know about the drugs at this point. I just went back to bed.

A couple of days later, Jaid asked me to drive him and one of his women (the younger one) so she could meet up with a client. I knew what was going on. We went to an address. She got out and we just waited for her in the car. It was during this time that he started talking about his business. I didn't ask a lot of questions. I just let him talk.

He told me about the specific rates he had the women charge for various services. He said most of the clients would only ever pay for a BJ because it was a quarter of the cost for full intercourse. "Most guys just settle for the BJ because that's all they can afford." He said that when one of his women made $1000 for him, she would get to have sex with him. (I guess you'd call that an incentive. I'm certain if I was a pimp, women would earn that money so they could avoid having sex with me.) He talked about how everything was business.

But he didn't talk about the drugs. He made no mention of that, even though he had me drive and drop him off at another address late at night.

One Saturday, I drove him and the younger woman to an address in Vista. She was going to be spending an hour with this client. We went out to a fast food restaurant and got something to eat. When we returned, she came out and got in the car. She had flowers. She said the client had proposed to her, but she had to turn him down.

The next day, another woman who worked for Jaid (but didn't live with him) needed a ride to her parents' house. He had me drive her over. On the way, she asked me if I could tell she'd been tweaking. I told her I couldn't tell, but didn't let on that I didn't spend enough time around drug addicts to know. We got to the house and got out of the car. We went to the gate to the backyard. I saw a sign that said, "Beware of Doberman!" I asked her if there were really dobermans back there. "Yes, there are!" I stayed outside the gate. She came back out after awhile. I don't know what it was that she had to get, but I didn't see it. I drove her back to the apartment.

I drove him and both the women who lived with him a couple more times. The younger one was rather sweet, but "Courtney Love" never spoke to me. Jaid told me not to take it personally, she was all business.

One night, I was driving Jaid and the younger one back from a client's house. We were going north on I-805. I usually took the El Cajon Blvd. exit to get home. However, the offramp was closed. I got mad because there weren't any signs indicating it was closed ahead of time (meaning I could have exited University Ave. if I'd known). We had to go the long way around, take I-8 West and exit on Texas St. Jaid decided he was hungry and wanted to stop at Taco Bell since we were in the area. There was a long line at the drive-thru. While waiting in line, we saw a couple of men hitting up the cars for change. It turned out to be Wod and Twod. Steam was coming out of Jaid's nostrils, but we remained in line. They came up to my car, saw who was inside and started laughing.

Every time I drove, Jaid would pay me. I knew it was all going to come to an end soon because he kept talking about buying a car. I was rather relieved when that day came and he told me he would no longer need my services.

During the two weeks that this was going on, Jaid never gave me any kind of talk about what to do in the event we got caught up in some kind of sting operation. I guess he felt pretty confident that no one was going to suspect that a pimp and his women would be driving around in a Chevy Citation. It did make a perfect cover. (So I don't know why he felt compelled to buy a Cadillac.)

The thought had crossed my mind that I might get in trouble. I figured that if I did, I could provide the appearance of plausible deniability. I would state that I had no idea that they were engaging in prostitution. I could just say they never talked about it and that I never saw money exchange hands. (Both of which were not true.) With my lack of a police record, I probably wouldn't have anything really stick.

On the other hand, drug charges would have been different. I didn't know this at the time, but there would have been MAJOR consequences because that would have been a Federal offense. About a year after the whole Kelz thing ended, I was watching a TV newsmagazine program. It focused on the harsh penalties associated with drug charges. A young woman had driven her friend's mother, who got caught dropping off drugs. The mother got a relatively light sentence because she was able to give the Feds some information regarding her suppliers. However, the young woman didn't have anything to give up, and she had admitted to knowing that she knew what the mother was doing. She wound up getting sentenced to 11 years in prison.

My jaw dropped when I saw that. I had practically dodged a bullet. I don't think Jaid would have told the Feds I knew what was up, but they likely would have lied to me and told me that he did in order to get a confession out of me. I could have been sentenced to prison, ALL BECAUSE OF KELZ!

Looking back, Jaid appeared to take precautions. I never saw him go into either of the residences when I dropped him off. He probably waited for me to leave and checked to see if anyone followed me before knocking on the door. If he saw another vehicle, he likely would have run off as quickly as possible. Nothing was worth getting arrested for. So, maybe I wasn't in that much danger, after all.

But up to this point, the only people I've told about this are my brother Loyd, Abed and Thoz. And now, you know.

But I never did anything ever again that would have gotten me into so much trouble.

An Alarming Sight

We got a bit of a scare earlier this week. A home in the mobile home park where we live caught fire. The house was on the next street over, but the smoke and flames could be seen from our house.



It was concerning because it's conceivably very easy for a fire to spread to other nearby houses. The fire was contained to that one house, but it's pretty much destroyed. I didn't know the people who lived there. We don't know what caused it.

Relationship Wreckers - Jaid

At the apartment complex where we lived, there was a two-bedroom apartment next door to us. The people in there told us they were moving. This was before all the drama started. Kelz and I pondered the prospect of moving in there so we could have more space for Sasd. However, I wouldn't have had enough money for the deposit upfront.

When the neighbors moved out, they offered to sell us their bed for $20. I gave them the money. We brought their bed, which was in better condition, into the bedroom and moved the old bed into the living room.

About a month later, we had new neighbors move in. There were four people. One was a muscular black man named Jaid. There were two rather attractive women. One of them was in her late 20s and sort of looked like Courtney Love. The other was in her early 20s and had a baby boy a little older than Sasd. Even though the baby had a black father, Jaid was not the baby daddy.

Kelz got to know them. It turned out he was a drug-dealing pimp and the women worked for him as prostitutes. Kelz said he used to be a professional bodybuilder and had won a Mr. California competition one year. (However, what research I could come up with indicates that no one with his first name has ever won a Mr. California competition. I found someone with a similar first name listed in second place in the short division one year, but I never learned Jaid's last name, so I don't know if that was him.)

Jaid did not appear to be your average stereotypical pimp. He was very articulate. He didn't wear outrageous clothes or carry a cane. However, when he bought a car, it was a Cadillac. And the women did not dress like the prostitutes I saw frequenting El Cajon Blvd. They would typically wear nice-looking little black dresses and looked more like professional escorts.

When I came home from work one day, I found Jaid in the grassy area next to the parking. He was shuffling his feet around. I asked him what he was doing. He said, "I left something out here and now I can't find it."

I guess it was a stash of drugs that he was going to deliver later. Supposedly, Krud had found it and invited Jaid's women up to his apartment for a little party. Jaid said he didn't mind what his women did on their free time, but he really didn't like that they were probably doing it with his drugs.

Even though I thought I got along with him, Jaid wasn't above stirring up trouble for me. He had gone over the property management to see if they had any apartments available. They told him I was moving out. He came back and told that to Kelz. This was about a week before I was going to tell her. I had planned to give her a two-day notice. Now, I was going to have a lot more drama to deal with.

And I'm pretty certain Kelz went to Jaid and offered to work for him. His response probably started with laughter, followed by, "You're too fat and ugly. Nobody's going to pay money to have sex with you!"

The day of the move, I went to Jaid's apartment and talked to him. He said, "You know Kelz has slept with Krud, right?" "Yeah, I don't really care right now." I said some other disparaging things about Kelz before going back to my place. The walls were very thin and Kelz could hear the whole conversation. She was very angry at the things I had said. I didn't care about that, either.

One good thing about Jaid is that after he moved in, Wod stopped coming around so much. I mean, he still came over, but it was a lot less frequent and he was never there late at night.

Relationship Wreckers - Krud

Krud lived in an upstairs apartment in the building where Kelz and I lived. He was probably a couple of years older than me and had long, brown hair that he wore in a ponytail. When we first moved in, we would see him come and go, but we didn't have much contact with him.

Krud and Kelz struck up a friendship around the time that the problems started with Wod. He would invite Kelz and Sasd to his apartment to watch TV. He was very proud of his entertainment system. He enjoyed watching movies that had the audio recorded in Hi-Fi. He also had a smaller TV hooked up to the same system in his bedroom. This way, the movie that was playing in the living room was also showing in the bedroom. I'm surprised he didn't have one hooked up in his bathroom.

From what I could tell, Krud didn't work. Or at the very least, he didn't have a full-time job. It seemed like he just spent most of the day at home, watching movies. Kelz told me Krud wondered why I'd never got to know him before. Under normal circumstances, this was not someone I would be friends with. Really, the only thing we had in common was that we both couldn't stand Wod.

Krud was a recovering alcoholic. Around this time, an Alcoholics Anonymous convention was taking place in San Diego. He told me about one gathering in which they had people who had been sober one week stomping on the floor. Then they had those who had done two weeks, three weeks, a month, two months, etc., until everyone in the room was stomping their feet. He said that gave him such a spiritual lift to be part of that.

Krud had been married once and had a kid, but had gotten divorced a few years earlier. I'm guessing that it was the alcohol that split that union up. He had a girlfriend that would come to his apartment from time to time.

He swore to me that there was nothing going on between him and Kelz, but he did admit that he was attracted to her. At this point, it didn't matter. I had already started my plans for moving out of the apartment.

One night, he asked me to go with him to the liquor store a couple of blocks away. He wanted to get some peppermint schnapps that they kept in the freezer. I asked him what he was going to do with it. "I'm going to drink it!" "But what about all that stuff you were telling me about Alcoholics Anonymous and staying sober?" "Hey, man! I know I can handle myself! You can't tell me what to do!" So, we went to the liquor store and sure enough, there was peppermint schnapps in the freezer. He bought it and brought it home. I just didn't have to be around him when he drank it.

Another time, he came up to me and asked me if his ex-wife re-married, would he still have to pay child support? I told him that unless he gave up the rights to his kid and the new husband adopted, then no, he'd still have to continue paying. He didn't like that answer.

One day, I got in a fight with Kelz. She told me she and Sasd were going to leave me and move in with Krud. I thought, "Great! This will solve all my problems." I could just move and let Krud deal with all the drama now. She went and saw Krud. She came back and she was obviously angry. I went up to see Krud. Without him really saying anything, he indicated that he wasn't letting them move in with him. I figured that she had probably recently slept with Krud and hoped that he would let them move in. That didn't work.

But Krud would wind up playing a larger role after I had abandoned Kelz and Sasd. That will be in a future post.

Meanwhile, I do have a small follow-up. A few years after I left this era of my life behind, I was going through my VHS collection (which was very small compared to the DVD collection I would build up later). I pulled out the boxes that had my Duran Duran and Peter Gabriel videos. I found the boxes empty. I noticed that the audio on both was presented in Hi-Fi. KRUD STOLE THEM FROM ME! And please note that watching them on YouTube is not a viable substitute. The video quality on the VHS tape is much better than YouTube (until they come out with a REAL Hi-Def version). But on the bright side, he didn't steal my Kate Bush videos.

Relationship Wreckers - Wod (Part 2)

One night after 10pm, Wod and Twod came over. Kelz went out and talked to them in the common area of the apartment building. This went on for a couple of hours. I didn't say anything to her. I hoped that this wouldn't become a regular thing.

But it did. A couple of nights later, Wod and Twod returned. They were both drinking 40-ounce bottles of Cobra. (In my current job, I deal with insurance. When someone says they have COBRA, that's the image that comes to mind.) Wod was getting loud and obnoxious, unnecessarily laughing every couple of minutes. This went on for a couple of hours.

And then they came over again the next night with Cobra. Wod was laughing louder than the night before. It seemed like all he wanted to do was get into a confrontation with someone from the apartments. So I gave him that confrontation. I went outside and tried to talk to him like a reasonable person. I said, "Wod, we can't have you coming here every single night and making noise. There are people here trying to sleep. Maybe we can work something out where you can come over, at most, two nights a week. But you can't come here every night and do this." He responded, "Who do you think you are, coming out here and gritting your teeth at me? Kelz wants me here and there's nothing you can do about it. Besides, I've seen that bruise you gave Kelz!" He was referring to an incident in which one of the kids in the building had bit her. The thing was, he was there when it happened. And I told him that. He replied, "Well, I'm going to tell the cops you did that!" Around this time, Twod asked Kelz, "So, who is this guy? Is he your brother?"

I was about to say something else in anger, but Kelz pushed me to go back into the apartment. Wod was apparently someone who couldn't be reasoned with unless you used violence. He wasn't a big guy, but I'm certain I wouldn't have been able to do enough damage to him to keep him from being the victor in an actual battle. So I had to come up with a different tactic. I got dressed, went outside and told Kelz I had to go to work. I actually went to work at 1am. (I wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway.) This forced her to bring Wod and Twod's visit to a close, because she was not going to let them in the apartment with the baby.

I thought the incident had some impact, because they didn't come back the next night. However, it turned out they had been arrested for public intoxication and were put into detox. He came back a couple of days later and was banging on our front door, yelling for Kelz. Kelz asked me to put Sasd's crib in the bedroom. She stayed close to me and was obviously frightened. After a while, Wod went away. I hoped we wouldn't see him again.

The next day, after I came home from work, Wod was in the apartment. I thought, "Really?" While he was there, Wod kept saying that he was able to borrow his brother's car and that he wanted to take Kelz out of town to do something. She refused to go, but he kept asking. They didn't go anywhere. I was thankful for that.

So, I don't know how this happened, but he wound up actually living with us. (I can hear you pulling your hair out.) He was sleeping on our spare bed and it didn't look like he was going to go anywhere. This was typical of Kelz, to allow something to happen without discussing it with me (because she knew I was going to say no).

I knew it was pointless to fight with them, so again, I went another route. I went to my property management company and told them the situation. I said I was going to need to move out. They told me about a cottage nearby that was about to become vacant. It only required $100 deposit and had the same monthly rent, but I wouldn't be able to move in until the first of the month, which was still a few weeks away. I then came up with a genius idea. I asked them to serve us with an eviction notice because of the unauthorized resident. (Really, Kelz was unauthorized because I had her name removed from the lease.) I said that I could just pretend to move all my stuff out, wait for her, Sasd and Wod to leave and then move all my stuff back in.

It wound up not being that complicated. After the manager went over and delivered the eviction notice to Kelz, she called me at work. "Did you tell them Wod was living with us?" I said, "They called me and said someone had reported him. They asked if it was true." Kelz then hung up the phone. When I got home, Wod was no longer at the house. (But he was not out of our lives. He'll show up in future posts.)

I still kept my plans to move out of the apartment at the end of June. I just wasn't going to tell Kelz anytime soon.

Relationship Wreckers - Wod (Part 1)

This week, I'm going to focus on some people who were major contributors to the downfall of the relationship between me and Kelz. I acknowledge that the actual problem was Kelz, and that things were going to go south without their involvement. However, the men I will write about this week all played crucial roles.

A couple of weeks after Kelz and I had reconciled and appeared to be on the right track, I was awakened from my slumber by the sounds of people talking in the living room. This was after 11pm. Kelz was not in bed with me. I went out and saw three men sitting down and talking to Kelz. One looked like a homeless Vietnam vet I will refer to as "Wod." Another was a younger Hispanic man I will call "Twod." The third man was someone I only saw that one time. I looked at the three of them. Wod looked at me and said, "We're just visiting. You got a problem with that?" I said no and went back to the bedroom. I just didn't know what to make of the situation.

I wasn't going to make a big deal about it because I didn't expect them to hang around very long. I just stayed in the bedroom and hoped they would leave soon. An hour later, I came to the realization that this was not going to be a short visit and Kelz was not going to do anything to make them leave. I also recalled that one of them appeared to be smoking. If I had thought about it at the time, I could have stood my ground and said that yes, I had a problem because one of them was smoking around the baby. At any rate, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get any sleep until they left.

I couldn't hear much of the conversation, but around 2am, I could tell that they were leaving. I went out into the living room. Twod and the other guy were heading out the door, but Wod was starting to lay down on the spare bed we had in the living room. Okay, I was going to stand my ground this time. I told him he couldn't sleep at the apartment. He refused to budge. I told him I could drive him where he needed to go, but he needed to leave. Kelz told him to go ahead and let me drive him somewhere. He put up a fit, but I was able to get him into the car and drove him just a few blocks away.

When I came back home, Kelz was sleeping in bed. I laid down, but I still couldn't get any sleep. However, I never asked Kelz what was going on. I figured she wasn't going to tell me anyway. I just hoped that I wouldn't see him again.

Those hopes were dashed a few days later when he came by the apartment looking for her. She went outside and talked to him for awhile out in the common area of the apartment building. She came back in before our regular bedtime. I had a problem with this, but I tried hard not to let it get to me.

On May 11th, 1997, Mother's Day, I had gotten Kelz a card and some flowers to celebrate. Since it was Sunday, it was my day to take care of Sasd. Wod came over in the afternoon. He had brought some alcohol. He and Kelz went into the bedroom. She kept the door open, but I could hear them getting drunk over the next two hours.

During this time, I was starting to get a grasp on what was going on. Wod was likely one of Kelz' former johns. Somehow, he had found out where she lived and came over that first night hoping she would show him and his buddies a good time without having to pay for it. My presence kind of squashed those plans. When the good time wasn't forthcoming, he was hoping that if he was still there after I'd left for work, he'd still get that good time.

I know nothing sexual happened that Mother's Day, but it was rather clear that he was aiming for that. But she never got so drunk that she was going to let him have his way with her. After they ran out of alcohol, he decided to leave. He said he would come back later around 7pm and take her out to go do something.

I got mad at Kelz. I had planned for us to go out and do something special as a family, but there was no way we could do that in her condition. I told her I did not agree to take care of Sasd on Sundays so she could hang out with guys and get drunk like that. She said she didn't care. She was still going to go out with him when he came back. It wasn't really a good conversation to have when one party is drunk.

I'm certain that he was thinking that if he got her away from the apartment, Sasd and me, things would go as he had planned. However, 7pm came and went. So did 8pm and 9pm. I was relieved. I figured he had flaked, in a good way. However, the doorbell rang at 10pm. It was Wod. He called to Kelz, "Are you ready to go?" I said, "She's not going anywhere. It's after 10:00. We have to put Sasd to bed." He replied, "IT'S MOTHER'S DAY!" Kelz said, "I'll come out there, but we're not going anywhere." I put Sasd to bed and tried to get some sleep. I felt like it was the early part of our relationship all over again.

An hour later, I heard Kelz come back in and make the distinct noise of tearing a piece of aluminum foil off the roll. I was ready to end this. I called Child Protective Services' 24-hour hotline. I told them what was going on and that drugs were likely involved, but they said they couldn't do anything. I didn't know what to do. Kelz came back in an hour later and came to bed. I had another sleepless night.

The next day at work, Kelz called me and yelled. She claimed that she had gotten a call from CPS telling her that I had reported her. This struck me as odd, because they're supposed to keep the reporting parties anonymous. I figured that she must have hit the redial button on my phone to find out who I'd been calling. I admitted to reporting her, but that they said they couldn't do anything. I told her I would talk to her later when I got home.

When I got home, we had a big fight. I told her I didn't want Wod to come around anymore. She said I couldn't keep her from hanging around with him. I told her I could hear her tearing the aluminum foil and that I knew what it was for. She claimed that Wod was the only one taking the drugs. I then went to the refrigerator, where there was a full bottle of some alcoholic beverage. "Okay, but I know you're doing this! You have to take care of your daughter. That means you can't be doing this anymore!" I opened the bottle and poured the entire contents down the drain. She didn't try to stop me. I could tell she was just getting madder and madder.

Did anything change? Well, yes they did. They got worse. WAY worse. More worse than you could imagine.

You won't have to imagine after tomorrow.

Road Rageless

It kind of stinks when you want to pass the car in front of you, but there's someone in the next lane over who's not going that much faster. And then this happens:



Another motorcyclist came up and passed them, but I had stopped recording by that point.

Rebuilding the Relationship

Things between Kelz and me were rough for the next week. She didn't want to talk to me and didn't want me to have anything to do with Sasd. (Except that she occasionally needed me to take care of her when she was taking a nap.) Kelz started sleeping in the living room on the foam mattress because she couldn't stand being in the same bed with me. (This was fine because Sasd's crib was in the living room.)

One day, I came home from work. Kelz was taking a shower and had Sasd in her seat next to the bathroom. I could hear Sasd crying and saw that her pacifier had fallen out of her mouth. I gave her the pacifier and went into the bedroom. I heard Kelz ask Sasd, "How did you get the pacifier back in your mouth?" Then she could see me in the bedroom. "Oh, Fayd's home." She didn't sound too happy about that.

However, things did appear to get back on track. She seemed to tolerate my presence a little more each day. Eventually, she started sleeping in the same bed as me. A little while longer, we started making out after we'd put Sasd to sleep. Up to this point, we hadn't made love because the doctor told us to wait six weeks. One night, I told Kelz it was too bad we were going to have to wait one more week. She quickly pulled a condom from underneath the pillow and said, "Who says we're waiting?" Despite the medical advice, we went for it. It was the first time we'd made love since June of 1996.

So this continued for a couple of weeks. We appeared to get back to where we were before all the unpleasantness began. I was feeling good about things and took great care not to do something else that would set Kelz off again. I didn't bring up the subject of Thoz
again, nor did I continue to have contact with her. I never explained to Thoz what was going on. I was hoping that Kelz could come back to a place in which I would be able to continue my friendship with Thoz. However, I knew that was going to take awhile and I didn't want to rush it.

We got back on the schedule in which I would take care of Sasd on Sundays. Kelz appreciated this. It allowed her to recharge her batteries and prepare for the week ahead when I would be working.

One thing I didn't do was let anyone know that anything bad had happened. I wanted my friends and family to believe that everything was running smoothly. The bad thing was that, with the exception of Abed
, I didn't really have much contact with my friends. The good thing about that was that they couldn't tell when I was hiding some deep dark secret.

So, this was not like Baby Rapture. I had my guard up the whole time that something bad was just around the corner. Whatever it was going to be, I knew there was no way I was going to let it be my fault this time. It was just a matter of waiting.

And as you'll find out on Monday, I didn't have to wait for long.

Crashing Down

In the weeks before Kelz gave birth to Sasd, I was still hanging out with Thoz
from time to time. At this point, we had gotten into watching the Special Editions of the original "Star Wars" Trilogy as they were making their way to movie theatres in February and March of 1997. We agreed that we would go see all three together.

We had no problem seeing "A New Hope" and "The Empire Strikes Back." It was common for me to leave Kelz at home alone. I frequently went out during those times that she was sleeping. She just didn't always know where I was. I never told her I was going with Thoz to the movies.

The thing about our "Star Wars" outings was that we would go see the movies at Mann's Cinema 21, which featured a 60-foot wide screen. It and the Valley Circle were the best places to see movies like this. However, Thoz and I could only go when our schedules allowed. We saw "A New Hope" the first week it was out. We had to wait a week before seeing "Empire." Then Sasd was born and we had a difficult time scheduling "Return of the Jedi." We found out that this would be the last week it would be showing on the big screen, so we made plans to go see it on a particular night. The only problem was that Kelz and Sasd were going to have to go with us.

I did sense a little bit of anxiety from Thoz when I explained that I had to invite Kelz and Sasd. I told her that Kelz' attitude had greatly improved and it shouldn't be a problem. There wasn't going to be anything that would keep me from completing the Trilogy with Thoz. It was something I felt I HAD to do.

I started getting ready to go around 6pm. I asked Kelz if she and Sasd were ready. She asked why we were leaving so early since the movie didn't start until 7pm. I told her we had to go and pick up Thoz first. "WHY IS SHE COMING WITH US?" "Because Thoz and I saw the first two movies together." "WELL, I'M NOT GOING, THEN!" "Are you sure?" "YES, I'M SURE! JUST GO OFF AND HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH YOUR WOMAN!!!!"

In my mind, this solved a lot of problems. I'd still get to take Thoz to the movie and I wouldn't have to worry about Sasd crying. And besides, Kelz and I were still getting along great. I saw absolutely no consequences from this.

At this point, Thoz had recently moved in with her grandmother. When I arrived, Thoz looked like she was ready to get out of there in a hurry. She was surprised that Kelz and Sasd weren't with me. I told her Kelz decided not to come. She seemed kind of relieved.

We still had a lot of time before the movie started. We went over to a nearby Bennigan's and got something to drink. We talked a little about what was going on with us. After we got to the theatre and got our seats, Thoz realized that she had never seen "Jedi" before. She'd seen the first two before, but somehow, never got around to watching the last chapter. I felt rather honored to watch the Special Edition with someone experiencing it for the first time. After it was over, she said she liked it better than the first two, but knew it was likely because it was very new to her.

I took Thoz back to her grandmother's and drove home. I was not prepared for what happened when I got back to my home.

"Did you have a good time with your WOMAN?" "Yeah, we had a good time. You should have come with us." "YOU LIED TO ME LAST NIGHT! YOU KEPT TELLING ME THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU WANTED TO BE WITH AND THEN YOU WENT OUT WITH THAT SLUT!" "Well, it wasn't like it was a date. Thoz and I have only ever been friends." "I DON'T CARE! YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME! YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER MAN I'VE EVER MET!" "I didn't have sex with her." "DON'T LIE TO ME! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!"

After hitting all these emotional highs the last three weeks, this was a shock to my system. I honestly had no idea she was going to have this big a problem with me going out because it hadn't been a problem the previous seven months when I went out. She didn't seem to care then. Why did she care now?

At that moment, I regretted taking Thoz to the movie. It wasn't my intention to make Kelz so mad. But I determined later that I had made the right decision. Because bad stuff was eventually going to happen, it was best that it started then, and not several months down the line.

There will be plenty more to come.

Baby Rapture

The week after Sasd was born and the two weeks that followed were practically the best time in my life. I refer to this period as "Baby Rapture." It felt so good that I thought it would never end.

During this time, Kelz and I were on the same wavelength when it came to taking care of Sasd. We did everything as a team. We took turns changing diapers, doing the feeding and burping and getting Sasd to go to sleep.

Sasd turned out to be a good baby. She slept all through the night. Kelz and I were well-rested. It reminded me of how Mom said I slept through the night as a baby. Maybe I had a lot in common with Sasd after all.

But we would have occasional disagreements. One night, Sasd wouldn't eat. Kelz started getting worried and thought we should take her to the emergency room. I told her that the situation hadn't reached a real urgent point yet and we should wait. She didn't want to do that, so we got in the car and drove to the hospital where Sasd was born. After waiting a couple of hours, Sasd was seen. The doctor told Kelz that it was normal for the baby to not eat from time to time and it really only becomes an issue if she goes more than a day without eating. I got a little ticked off because the time we went to the hospital was the time I was usually in bed sleeping. Even though we were getting plenty of rest, it still interfered with my ability to go to bed in a timely manner so I could work the next day.

One day at work, Kelz called and told me that I needed to come home right away because caseworkers from the Welfare department were there. I rushed home. There were two other women in the apartment. One of them asked me, "Why are you helping her take care of a baby that isn't yours?" I responded, "Because I love her?" She then asked me some other questions about our relationship. I don't recall what led up to this, but I informed her that Kelz was a recovering addict. She turned toward Kelz and said, "You're a recovering addict? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL US ABOUT THAT!" Kelz got mad at me for telling them that. I didn't know there were going to be consequences. I don't know exactly what happened, but Kelz never got any money from Welfare while she was living with me.

But we were still a very strong parenting team. I told her that on Sundays, which were my day off, I would be the one to take care of Sasd and she could just take it easy those days. She was happy about that.

One night, we were putting Sasd to sleep in the crib. All of a sudden, I felt a very close connection to Kelz. She acted like she was in a hurry for us to get to bed. We both laid down. I turned to her and started kissing her on the mouth. This was the first time we'd kissed since before Sasd was born. She reciprocated and we spent the next hour or so making out. During this time, I told her she was the only woman I wanted to do this with.

This capped off the greatest three weeks of my life up to this point. But as you might expect, it all came crashing down the next day.

A willing grandmother

Kelz had invited my Mom to come out to San Diego to help with Sasd after she had been born. Mom was very excited because she had always wanted to be a grandmother. She would have actually preferred the baby to be my biological child. But she wanted that experience more than anything, enough to be willing to love a child she wasn't related to.

However, we had some preparations to make. I needed to find a crib for Sasd. I looked in the classifieds and found someone who was selling one for $60. That sounded like a good deal to me. I went over to see the man. The crib was white-painted metal with pastel colors on the bars. I was not picky. I paid him the money and loaded the pieces into my car.

I picked up Mom at the airport. She asked how Kelz and Sasd were doing. I said they were doing very well. She asked how I was dealing with the situation. I told her that things between me and Kelz had greatly improved. Kelz had a better attitude and had stopped smoking. Mom was relieved to hear that.

We arrived at the apartment and went inside. Both Kelz and Sasd were asleep in the bedroom. We tried to be quiet while Mom admired the baby in the drawer, but Kelz woke up anyway. She was happy to see Mom.

The next three days went very well for the three of us. Everyone got along. It was nothing like Christmas. Mom enjoyed helping change Sasd from time to time and giving her a bath. Mom also made some meals for us. Right before Easter, Lucky was giving away hams with purchases over a certain amount. This meant that we had a ham for Mom to make a casserole with one day. It was like living at home again.

While Mom was there, I assembled the crib. We decided to have the crib in the living room. Mom told Kelz that my Dad was good at putting things together and I appeared to take after him.

One night, we went out to eat at the Corvette Diver in Hillcrest. The wait staff there has a schtick in which they pretend to be rude. Our waitress exclaimed, "Oh, no! It's a baby! It's going to cry!" Actually, Sasd stayed quiet during the entire meal.

While we encountered no actual drama, there was a little hiccup. I invited Thoz
to come over and see Sasd. When she arrived, Kelz whispered to me, "I don't want her to hold the baby." Thoz got to see the baby, but did not get to hold her. Mom sensed that there was tension while she was there. She told me that she thought Kelz was jealous of Thoz. I told her she was. This wound up being the only time Thoz saw Sasd.

On Sunday, it was time for Mom to go home. She was very sad about leaving. Kelz and Sasd did not come with us to the airport. On the way there, Mom told me that Kelz really appeared to be on edge. She actually recommended that I buy cigarettes for her. I had no choice but to agree. After seeing Mom off, I went to the store and bought a pack. Kelz was very happy to have the cigarettes and went outside to smoke.

I felt good about Mom coming out. It made her so happy. But I didn't know if I would ever feel so good about Kelz that I would want us to have a child together. And I didn't know if Mom wanted that, either. Again, we were simply living day to day.

A new era begins

Imagine coming home one day to see that the landscape has changed.



As far as I know, no one has bought the house yet. I don't know when someone will be moving in.