The first couple of days back at school after the Homecoming dance were rather normal. Roz and I would hang out at lunch and hold hands. I would drive her to Drama class and then drive her home. We didn't sneak around to any hidden areas to make out during school hours. We also didn't get a chance to hang out together after I drove her home from school. I guess I didn't know that I was supposed to do that.
After a few days, Roz sort of stopped holding hands with me. I knew something was wrong, but I had hoped that Roz would just tell me what was on her mind. (I didn't think to just come out and ask.) We spent one lunch hanging out with this one girl (who was known for being somewhat trashy). She and Roz spend the whole lunch talking and laughing. I was just standing there thinking, "Let's stop hanging around with this skank and go hold hands!" (Note to self: You were not aware of the term "skank" in 1979.)
The next day at lunch, I went looking for Roz. I ran into the skank. She said Roz had a message for me. She handed me the bracelet I had given Roz that had my name engraved on it. The skank said she was sorry.
I didn't know what to think. I was angry! I was mad that there was something wrong and Roz didn't tell me about it. I didn't want my Mom to be right that this relationship was doomed to only last two weeks! I wanted it to last forever.
After choir, I went looking for Roz to drive her to Drama class. I found her. She was walking and talking with the guy she had asked to dance at Homecoming. I went up to her and said, "Roz! You're coming with me!" "No, I'm not! I'm getting another ride to class!" That ride happened to be my best friend at the time, Rad.
While we were waiting outside the auditorium waiting for the teacher to arrive, Roz engaged in a conversation with Rad's girlfriend right in front of me. She ooed about getting to talk to that guy from Homecoming. Rad's girlfriend said, "Roz, Fayd's right here!" Roz said, "No, it's okay. We're no longer together." Once Drama class started, I wasn't able to talk to Roz. After class, she got into Rad's car and they drove off.
I was very heartbroken. It was so nice to think that someone cared about me and wanted to spend time with me and hold hands and kiss. The worst part about it was that she couldn't tell me to my face that she was breaking up with me. Second hand information that I had gotten was that she didn't like that I didn't talk very much. WHAT DID THAT MEAN? Was I supposed to talk during every second of our time together, especially when we were making out? For crying out loud, I possibly have Asperger's Syndrome. (Although I didn't know it at the time.) I'm not the type of person to spend a lot of time talking when it isn't absolutely necessary.
Because we had quickly broken up, I believed that we could quickly get back together. For the next couple of weeks, I did something that was very symptomatic of being a loser: I became a stalker. I would walk after her following Drama class, trying to get her to talk to me. I tried telling her how much I missed her and how I wanted us to get back together. She refused to engage in conversation. She just acted mad all the time. This went on daily for a couple of weeks. After that, I would drive by her house when I knew she was home. I would make my car peel out so that it made loud noises outside her house. I would call her house in the middle of the night. Once I pretended to be the guy she danced with at Homecoming. As soon as she got to the phone, I hung up.
The thing is that I had no idea that any of this was wrong. I actually thought this was what you had to do to get someone to come back to you. I was just plain stupid.
Looking back, I find it interesting that my thoughts were focused on getting her to come back to me. At no point did I want to just try to hook up with someone else to get back at her. I knew that it would always be a struggle for me to get a girl to like me enough to be my girlfriend. I just wanted to be with someone I knew for certain had some desire for me.
Eventually, I figured it was a lost cause and stopped following Roz home. Roz did not come back to the Drama class for the second semester, so I didn't have to deal with drama in that class anymore. However, I continued to have scattered incidents of contact with her afterwards.
I will get to those in Monday's post. Believe me, when I started this particular section of my life, I never expected it to go on for eight posts.
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