Close Call #1: Paz (Part 2)

(What's a Close Call? Click here!)

The next week after our first date, Paz called me to meet up for the next Saturday. We didn't plan anything out. When I came to the house to pick her up, she decided she wanted to go into the mountains. So we drove up. She brought a portable stereo with her. She was playing Robert Plant's "Now and Zen" CD, but she only played three songs off it the whole time: "Heaven Knows," "Dance on My Own," and "Ship of Fools." I didn't know ahead of time that we were going to reach an altitude of 11,000 feet. When we got close to the peak, my car was not driving any faster than 30 mph. However, I saw we weren't the only ones with that problem. I was just glad I wasn't trying to run my air conditioner at that time. We would have been in real trouble.

When we got up to the mountains, Paz said, "Oh, we should have brought some food to cook on a campfire. We'll have to do that next time." We just drove around and drove back. Unfortunately, there was some kind of accident on I-70, so it took us more than an hour longer to get back home. She had me take her to a different house. She told me her sister lived there and that her sister had a child. I went in an met her sister and then I left.

The next Saturday, she wanted to go up into the mountains again, but this time, we were going to cook something up there. That morning, I went to pick her up. The doctor answered the door and I asked for Paz. The doctor explained that Paz didn't live there. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have her phone number. (She had mine, but I didn't have hers. I don't know how that happened, but as I will explain later, there was a lot about Paz that I didn't know.) Then I figured out I could probably find her at her sister's. I drove over there. Before I even got out of the car, Paz was coming out of the house. She said, "I just got off the phone with the doctor, and she said that she just had a conversation with you. Why did you go there?" "I thought that was where I was supposed to pick you up." "No, it's not! I don't live there! I told you I live with my sister!" (No, she didn't.)

She didn't get mad at that, but it was just awkward. Before we went to the mountains, we stopped by the grocery store. We bought some hamburger meat, buns, cheese, aluminum foil and some other supplies. On the way up, the car again wouldn't go any faster than 30 mph. We got up there and went to a campsite she was familiar with. We started a fire. She shaped the meat into patties, put them in the aluminum foil and put those in the fire. She mentioned that she had taken a wilderness survival class before. While we were waiting for the meat to cook, Paz layed back on the ground and looked toward me. I put my arms around her and embraced her, but I didn't kiss her. For some reason, I didn't feel like that was a kissing moment. We just held each other for a bit and then the meat was done.

We ate, drove around the mountains a bit and went back home. A couple of days later, Paz called me and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. She said she had free passes to AMC. She wanted to see "The Dead Pool." Up to this point, I had paid for everything (including the camping food), even though I didn't have a job and she did. So, I was definitely looking forward to her treating, even if the movie tickets were free.

Before we drove to the movie theatre, she wanted to stop by this bar in the downtown area. We went in and she started talking to this guy she knew. He appeared to be a little effemenate. After awhile, I looked around and figured out that we were in a gay bar. I was still a little homophobic at this time. (And I actually think she told him I was gay.) I just figured we would quickly be on our way so we could go see the movie. We weren't there too long.

We went to Westminster Mall. We walked around inside the mall first. I was amazed at the balloons that sporadically went up and down in the main lobby area. I thought it was a rather clever thing to include in the design of the mall. (It's too bad that mall is no longer open.) We went out to the movie theatre. For some reason, Paz was afraid that they weren't going to take both passes at once, so she had us go up to the window separately. She went first. They told her the passes couldn't be used on "The Dead Pool" because it was still in its first week of release. That meant I HAD TO PAY FOR THE MOVIE! AND THE POPCORN AND SODA, TOO! FOR BOTH OF US!

We enjoyed the movie and I drove her home. I walked her up to the front door. She embraced me and we hugged for a long time, but I didn't kiss her. I honestly wasn't feeling it yet and I didn't know if I was ever going to feel it. It was not a matter of her not liking me. She made it clear that she was attracted to me and wanted to be more than just friends. She was probably wondering what my problem was and that was why she may have thought I was gay. I never told her I was a virgin and that I was REALLY inexperienced when it came to women.

I guess my not really feeling anything for her was a combination of all those red flags from our previous dates, my experience from my last actual girlfriend, Marz, and the guilt over the hedged promise that I made to Chez. Also, I had met someone else at this point that I liked a whole lot more. That last part probably had a lot more to do with it than the other reasons combined.

After the movie date, I didn't talk to her for another week and a half. I couldn't call her because I still didn't have her phone number. She called me on a Saturday morning. Up to this point, I had spent a lot of time thinking about what I was going to say, if I needed to say anything. (There was a chance she would never call me again.) She asked me if I wanted to go do something that day. I probably told her I had to work. She asked when we could go do something. I told her I really didn't want to see her any more. She asked why. I said something to the effect that she didn't really inspire me and I didn't think I could be a good enough boyfriend. I don't remember the rest of the conversation. I just know that we got off the phone and I never heard from her again.

A couple of years later, I was working at Landmark's Mayan Theatre. We were holding a preview screening of the film "Longtime Companion." I saw the doctor come in with the crowd. I tried calling out to her, but she didn't hear me. In the middle of the movie, she came out of the auditorium and went straight outside. When she came back in, I called to her. She stopped in her tracks and turned around. "Do I know you?" "Yeah, my name is Fayd. I used to date Paz." "Yeah, Paz," she said. "That was an interesting situation." She then went back in to watch the rest of the movie, so I never really got any answers about what happened.

The stupid thing in all this is that I don't remember her last name. And I don't mean as in 27 years later. I didn't remember it when I was dating her. I know she told me her last name during our first phone conversation, but it quickly went out of my mind as I was thinking up stuff to talk about. I felt embarrassed about this because she got slightly huffy because I didn't remember that she DIDN'T mention she was a travel agent on her personal ad and that I didn't know that she DIDN'T tell me she lived with her sister. I can only guess at her reaction that I DIDN'T recall her last name, even though she only mentioned it that one time. When I saw that episode of "Seinfeld" a few years later in which he had forgotten his girlfriend's first name, I knew exactly what he was going through. I had also planned to go through her purse and look at her ID. I'm just glad it never got to that point.

As a result, I have no idea where she's at now. It's funny, but this would be the only time in my life I would be the one to completely end a relationship before it got out of hand. As you will eventually find out, I would never be able to do this again with situations that were far worse than this.