Kelz and the Book of Mormon

While I was at work all day, Kelz spent most of her awake time watching TV. During the daytime, there would be all these commercials from the Mormon church offering viewers a free copy of the Book of Mormon. I guess she decided to get something for free, so she called up and ordered one.

And I don't know if she was seriously considering bringing up her child in this religion, but I'm not certain that she was aware that the Book really wasn't "free." The church didn't just ship it to your address. They would send a couple of missionaries over and give a theological lesson when delivering the Book. If you weren't willing to invite them into your home and let them talk to you, you didn't get the book.

One day, I got a phone call from someone who identified himself as "Elder P." He was trying to set up an appointment to come over to meet with Kelz. Kelz was awake, so I got her on the phone. After she talked to the guy a little, she told me that he was going to come over to the apartment on a certain date at 2pm.

The day before that appointment, but at 2pm, the doorbell rang. I saw two young men around 18-19 years old. One of them was wearing a dark blue blazer and had glasses. The other was wearing the stereotypical short-sleeved shirt with a black tie. The one in the blazer introduced himself as Elder P. My first thought was, "Elder? Really?" I told them that the appointment was for the next day. They said they would come back then. Elder P invited me to join the meeting. I told him I would consider it.

The next day at 2pm, the doorbell rang. It was the same two missionaries. I let them in the house. Kelz came out of the bedroom and sat down in the comfy chair. They sat on the floor on both sides of Kelz. I sat on the floor a few feet back. Kelz looked at me and motioned her head toward the door. I said, "They invited me to join the meeting." "I want you to leave." Elder P said, "We'll be done in about an hour."

I drove around and ran a few errands during that hour. As I came back to the apartment, I saw the missionaries coming out the door. They had smiles on their faces. Elder P said to Kelz, "It was nice meeting you." They both saw me coming in. They said goodbye to me and were on their way.

I asked Kelz how it went. "Okay." "Are you thinking about becoming a Mormon?" "I don't know." I looked at the Book of Mormon she received. This was the first time I'd flipped through the pages of a copy. I saw how it was patterned very much after the Bible.

I put the incident out of my mind until the next day when the doorbell rang. I opened it and saw FOUR new missionaries outside. One had the blazer and the other three had white shirts. "Is Kelz here?" "NO! SHE'S NOT! GO AWAY!" I slammed the door and we never got any more visitors from the Mormon church ever again.

To this day, I have no idea what she did to those missionaries. Whatever it was, they must have told their friends, who felt they had to come check it out themselves.