The Beneficiary

During the two nights that Sasd was in the hospital, the relationship between me and Kelz entered this weird phase. I wasn't expecting this, but it happened.

The first night, Kelz and I had to go to my apartment to get something. This was just a few hours after Sasd had been admitted. Kelz said, "Hey, I want to f*** right now." "Uh, I don't think this is an appropriate time to be doing something like that." "I don't mind. It'll be okay." I didn't know what to think. I was concerned about Sasd and couldn't wrap my mind around getting laid at this moment. While we didn't have intercourse, I did engage in an activity of a sexual nature and told her that was all I was going to do.

The next night, we were at my apartment again. Kelz said, "Okay, I want to f***. I want us to really f*** and I'm not going to take no for an answer this time!" I reluctantly obliged. Afterwards, I felt bad about doing that, but I couldn't deny that I still desired Kelz, even after all she had put me through.

Up to this point, I'd never heard of the term "Friends with Benefits." In fact, I wouldn't hear the term for almost five more years. But I was familiar with "F*** Buddies." I guess that's what we were doing.

Every once in a while, I would do something with Kelz and Sasd. We'd come back to the apartment. If Sasd fell asleep, we would make love. If she didn't, then we didn't. Sometimes, she would spend the night. She'd just call Mr. & Mrs. B and let them know she wasn't coming back to the house that night.

Honestly, this situation messed me up. It made it hard for me to try to pursue other relationships. I still felt committed to Kelz and responsible for Sasd. I know I abandoned them to get them out of my life, but I guess what I really wanted out of my life was the criminal element she was attracting. And I'm surprised that she still wanted to have anything to do with me, especially after I basically left them for fend for themselves. It astonished me that she still wanted to be intimate, considering how we weren't prior to me moving out. The only thing I felt I could do was go with the flow.

But I have a problem with describing our relationship at this point as "Friend with Benefits" or "F*** Buddies." I had too many emotions involved to use those terms. I'd always maintained that when I made love with a woman, it was because I cared about her and not because I only wanted to satisfy my own urges. However, Kelz managed to bring out that negative aspect in me in ways I couldn't comprehend.

Since then, I haven't had this kind of relationship with a woman.

Don't try to hunt with it

Sometimes, you see stuff at a store and you wonder if anyone ever thinks it a good idea to buy it.



Maybe it works better if you get the bear to scratch your back.

A trip to the hospital

A couple of weeks went by in which I was adjusting to my new life without Kelz and Sasd. However, that didn't really last very long. One day, I got a call from Kelz. She told me that Sasd was taken to Children's Hospital. She asked me to come over and gave me the room number where she would be.

I jumped in the car and drove up to the hospital. When I got there, Sasd appeared to be in shock while they were inserting tubes through her nose. Kelz was telling the doctor what happened. She noticed that Sasd had stopped breathing and her lips were turning blue. That was when she called 911. The ambulance arrived and took her to the hospital.

After a few minutes, Sasd was acting like her normal self and didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong. She was smiling and laughing. But they were going to have to keep her there for observation for a couple of days. Kelz said she wanted me to stick around and spend the night there in the hospital room. The funny thing was that early in our relationship, Kelz and I once drove past Children's Hospital and I wondered out loud what it would be like to stay there. And now, I was going to find out!

It's not really very good for adults. The "beds" were chairs that would fold out so you could sleep on them. The staff would provide a couple of pillows and blankets, but they weren't very comfortable. Neither Kelz nor I could sleep very well. We spent a lot of time talking.

The doctors said that Sasd likely had some respiratory issues and she would need to be attached to a monitor when sleeping. I was worried about this. I'd seen stories about women suffering from Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy because of these monitors and was afraid it would affect Kelz that way. (As it turned out, it didn't.) The doctor also recommended that Sasd sleep in a crib with a slanted mattress and a harness designed to hold her in place so she wouldn't slide down. The doctor asked if Kelz had such a crib. Kelz looked at me. I had the crib at my apartment and Mom told me not to let her have it. I sighed and said, "Yes, she has a crib we can adjust like that."

Before taking Kelz and Sasd back to Mr. & Mrs. B's, I stopped by the cottage and got the crib. I brought it in the house and assembled it as instructed. It would work very well.

But the monitoring device was a bit of a pain. If one wire happened to fall off, the alarm would go off. It's bad enough that you're worried a baby will stop breathing in the middle of the night. But you really go into panic mode every time the alarm goes off. It turns out to be a little disappointing when nothing is really wrong. I can see how easy it is to have Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy affect someone.

A few weeks later, Kelz sold the crib and kept the money. She just had Sasd sleep in a little stand that held her upright. Mom was right, but I wound up getting paid back for that. As usual, you'll find out how that happened later.

A reluctant grandmother

The week I moved to get away from Kelz and Sasd was the same week my Mom was coming to visit for three days. She was rather disappointed that she probably wasn't going to get to play grandma like she had just three months earlier, but decided to make the best of the visit with me.

I had to pick her up from the San Diego airport very early in the morning, like around 4am. I parked my car, went inside and waited for her flight to arrive. She finally came out, we walked out to the car and left. The plan was for me to drop her off at the cottage, she would catch up on her sleep while I went to work.

On the way, I explained that Kelz and Sasd were staying with some people and I still had contact with them. I also told her about some stuff that was going on around town. The Del Mar Fair was opening that day and the X-Games were going on, so there was going to be plenty to do. She had picked a good weekend to come visit.

We arrived at the cottage and went inside. Mom started unpacking her clothes in the living room, where she would be sleeping. She saw the size of the cottage and started crying. She felt like I had given up a really good apartment because of Kelz. I didn't tell her about the criminal element that I was also trying to get away from. I went to work.

When I came back home, Mom decided she wanted to go to both the Del Mar Fair and the X-Games. We would go to the Del Mar Fair that evening and the X-Games the next day. It sounded like a plan. Then she asked if I wanted to invite Kelz and Sasd to go along with us. "Do you really want to do that?" "Sure!" I called Kelz and yes, she did want to go.

We drove over to the house where Kelz and Sasd were staying. Mom met Mrs. B. We loaded everyone in the car and drove to the fair. Mom and Kelz appeared to get along okay. While traffic was very slow getting there, we did eventually arrive. While nothing extraordinary happened while we walked around, there was something unusual happening between me and Kelz. We were acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. Mom was probably bewildered by this, and I have to admit that I was, too. At one point, Mom offered to walk Sasd around in her stroller while Kelz and I went on some rides. So Mom did get to be a grandmother again.

At one point, Kelz and I were at the games. We were at one booth that featured Skeeball. The prizes were these stuffed aliens. Kelz wanted one so she could say she slept with an alien. I tried a few times and I was finally able to score enough points to win a hand-sized alien. Kelz said it would do.

We met back up with Mom and left the fair. We drove Kelz and Sasd back to where they were staying. Mom and I went back to the cottage. Mom really didn't know what to think about the situation, but didn't say much about it.

The next day, we got ready to go to the X-Games. Mom asked if we should invite Kelz. I tried calling the house, but no one picked up. Mom and I started leaving the cottage when the phone rang. I knew it was Kelz and I decided not to pick up. I knew that Mission Beach and the X-Games would not be a good place to take a baby.

The great thing about the X-Games is that it was free to attend. All we had to do was park the car and get on a bus that would take us there. Mission Beach was practically set up like a theme park. Mom and I got to see a lot of stuff. We saw an extreme bicycle demonstration and a mountain bike on a half-pipe competition that aired live on TV. It was all very exciting, but a lot of the day was spent waiting in line. When we were seated for the competition, I had to get up and buy some drinks. When I returned, I had to wait in line to get into the stands again.

The next day, I planned to take Mom to see Balboa Park. She asked if we should invite Kelz and Sasd and do a picnic. I didn't explain that you didn't really do picnics at Balboa Park and just figured we'd get some food there and call it a picnic. I called up Kelz. She said she and Sasd would go. We picked them up. I don't remember what happened between Mrs. B's house and getting to the park, but Kelz got REALLY upset. It was in the same manner that Mom had experienced the two times she came to Artesia. Mom said, "Fayd, just take me back to the cottage. You and Kelz can go." I drove Mom back home. When we got back on the road, Kelz started saying a lot of bad stuff about Mom. I got mad at her and told her that Mom was trying really hard to be nice. "I don't want to go to the park. You can just take me and Sasd back home!" I gladly obliged.

I came back to the cottage and told Mom that Kelz and I didn't go to the park. Mom was relieved that she didn't have to put up with Kelz anymore. We then went to Balboa Park and I was able to show her what it was all about. She was amazed.

The next day, I had to drive Mom back to the airport. She told me that under no circumstances was I to let Kelz have the crib. Mom had originally paid for that crib and I had taken it with me to the cottage when I moved. She didn't want that money going to waste.

Mom never saw Kelz or Sasd again. But she still wonders about what happened to Sasd sometimes.

Follow-up on the Relationship Wreckers and Others

Before I get into the next phase of my relationship with Kelz, I thought I would do the final word on a some of the characters who were heavily involved in the previous phase. After these encounters, I'll never have to mention them again.

A couple of weeks after I had moved into the cottage, I was driving home from work. The route I took to get to the cottage was similar to the route I took to get to the old apartment. Out of a force of habit, I drove to the old apartment and pulled into my parking space. Jaid was outside and waved at me. I waved back and realized I was at the wrong house. I lowered my head, backed up my car and drove to my new place. That was the last time I saw Jaid.

A couple of months later, I drove home from work. I passed the street for the old apartment. On the opposite side of the road, I saw Krud walking toward his apartment. Kelz and Sasd happened to be in the cottage at the time. (I will be getting to that in a later post.) I knew that he had just been at the cottage visiting with Kelz. But I didn't ask her about it. I just KNEW! That was the last time I saw Krud and I'm pretty certain he didn't see me.

(I should point out that I would continue to deal with Krud's mother and step-father as Kelz and Sasd were staying at their house. But I am grateful that he was never there when I was.)

A year later, I was shopping at Lucky. I took my groceries out to my car. I suddenly heard a voice behind me. "Hey! Didn't you used to know Kelz?" I turned around and found myself face to face with Wod. He asked, "Do you remember me?" Trying to keep the straightest face I could, I said, "No, I don't." I turned back around, got in my car and drove off without looking back. I would never see him again.

While I'm at it, I'll also give the final word on Brod, Sasd's father. Kelz told me that he came over to the apartment a couple of weeks after she had been born. (I didn't have a problem with this. I just didn't like how he likely freaked me out the first night we were home.) A few weeks after I had abandoned Kelz and Sasd, I had planned a trip to New Mexico and Denver. (That's coming up.) The day before I left, I was getting my mail from the personal mail box I used for my music business (and eventually became my permanent mailbox in San Diego). As I was going inside, I heard someone holler at me. I turned around and saw Brod in a car with some woman I'd never met before. I was surprised to see him, because just a few weeks earlier, he had been in the hospital getting treated for cancer (which was a story I didn't go into detail about). He seemed genuinely happy to see me and asked how I was doing. I asked how his recovery was going. He said he felt great, and that was it. I have no idea where he is now.

And even though she didn't play much of a role in all this, I saw the neighbor who first greeted us when Kelz came back from the hospital with Sasd. She lived in the unit underneath Krud's apartment. This was more than a year after I had moved out. I was getting into my car at McDonald's when she came up to me. She told me there was mail waiting for me at the old apartment. I drove over there. I quickly went into the common area where the mailbox was and saw an envelope stuck on the outside to be returned to the sender. It was a wedding invitation from my cousin Jend. I thought it was a strange coincidence that the day I had mail, I ran into that neighbor.

I don't remember any of their full names, so I wasn't able to find them on the Internet. I have a feeling that all three Relationship Wreckers wound up getting arrested one way or another.

The Big Move

The day had come that I was going to abandon Kelz and Sasd and take all my furniture and other belongings to my new apartment. I had it planned for the afternoon. I was going to pick up Abed, go over to Thoz' apartment, get her roommate's pickup and the three of us were going to take a few trips to transport everything. From what I could tell, Kelz hadn't figured out what she and Sasd were going to do for a place to live.

But I still had several hours before I would get to do that. In the morning, I went over to Jaid's apartment. This was the point that we had the conversation in which he told me Kelz had slept with Krud. When I went back to my apartment, Kelz informed me she heard everything and we got in a shouting match. She didn't like that I was kicking her to the curb, but she didn't see that she had done things that made me want to leave.

At one point, she calmed down and asked if she and Sasd could come stay with me in the cottage until she could figure out where they could go. I really didn't want them to have to live on the street. I figured that getting out of that environment with Jaid, Krud and Wod would be an improvement for all of us. Against my better judgement, I told her that yes, they could come stay with me temporarily.

The very next second, she started getting angry. "I can't believe that you cheated on me with Thoz!" I knew where this was heading. I said, "Okay, that's it! I've changed my mind! You and Sasd are NOT going to stay with me!" Then she came toward me and started screaming. She tried to dig her fingers into me and wound up shredding my t-shirt off. Then, she went into the bedroom where, for some reason, we had this big rock on the floor. She picked it up and threw it. It knocked a hole in the drywall. I realized I was probably not going to get my security deposit back. (There were other damages in the apartment, including having the bedroom door torn off the hinges from her slamming it so much.)

I had already moved all my clothes and other small items over to the cottage. This meant that I didn't have a clean shirt to wear. Fortunately, a dirty t-shirt of mine that Kelz had worn was on the floor. I was able to put that on and wear it. I left the apartment and didn't plan to return until I was going to come back with the pickup. Even though I spent the next couple of hours at the cottage, I didn't change the shirt. I figured if she was just going to tear another one off me, it might as well not be one that was clean.

The time came for me to pick up Abed and go over to Thoz'. We got there before her roommate had gotten home, so we had to wait. Thoz told me she wasn't going to be able to help me move. She said it was too bad, because she was looking forward to Kelz attempting to attack her so she could empty a whole can of pepper spray into her face. I was actually glad that wasn't going to happen.

Thoz' roommate arrived and gave me the keys. She didn't want any money for the pickup, but did ask that we fill up the tank. That wasn't a problem. Abed and I went to the apartment. Wod was there. All Kelz would do was say mean things about me while we were grabbing stuff. We loaded up the furniture, drove it over and took it inside.

When we returned, Krud came out and asked, "Hey, where's your girlfriend? I thought she was going to be helping you!" He was talking about Thoz. I guess when Kelz told him she thought I was cheating on her, she built up this image of Thoz as a "tall, skinny hoochie mama with big boobs." I'm certain Krud thought, "Wow, her boobs are bigger than Kelz'? I gotta check this out!" So, he was probably very disappointed that Thoz wasn't there.

Abed and I did the second load and came back one more time. Kelz continued her tirade about me kicking her to the curb. Abed then yelled at Kelz, "What the f*** is wrong with you? You'd better stop doing this s***!" After we left, Abed questioned why she would hang out with some homeless guy who was drinking out of a 40-ounce bottle of beer and why she would want to expose her baby to that. I don't know how Abed felt before about me abandoning them, but I think after he saw for himself what was going on, he agreed that I was doing the right thing.

We filled up the pickup with gas, thankful that Kelz or Wod didn't attempt to damage it. We took it back to Thoz' roommate and I drove Abed home. I went to the cottage and started arranging my belongings. While this was going on, I got a call from Kelz. (I had given her my new phone number.) She said that Krud had talked his mother into allowing her and Sasd to stay with her. She said it was a large house and there was plenty of room. I was relieved she was able to get help and surprised that it came from Krud. She also asked me to apologize to Abed for her. She didn't mean to make him yell at her.

Since I knew she wasn't there, I went back to the apartment to survey the damage. It wasn't any more damaged than when I made my last trip with the furniture. That was something else to be thankful for. While I was doing this, Krud came by. He told me he could show me where his mother lived and that we should go over and see Kelz and Sasd. His mother and step-father lived in the San Carlos neighborhood of San Diego. It wasn't very far away. He said the best thing about it was that it was miles away from the closest 7-Eleven.

I met Krud's mother and step-father, Mr. & Mrs. B. They seemed nice. I was a little afraid of how Kelz might take advantage of the situation and become an attractive nuisance again. But if there was going to be a problem, it would happen here and not at my house. Kelz didn't have a whole lot to say to me. She was calm, but still angry.

Krud and I drove back. I went about trying to clean the apartment. Krud told me he knew someone who could fix that hole in the drywall. I told him that the next day was the last day I'd be able to be in the apartment and I didn't think that would be enough time to arrange to get it fixed. I was just going to have to lose money on the deposit.

Krud asked me, "I'm probably never going to see you again, am I?" I responded, "Probably not." It turned out to be true.

But it was not the last time I saw Kelz. We are still quite a ways from the end of this story.

My park is worse than my plight

A few weeks ago, I did a video titled, "Fayd vs. Morgan Hill Parking Enforcement." I complained about a lack of parking spaces on the street. Here is an update:



It is nice that this inconvenience is no longer a burden for me. Unfortunately, I haven't been getting as much exercise since.