There's one thing I would like to point out about my second girlfriend. Marz set off a common thread among most of my upcoming girlfriends in that every woman I got romantically involved with, starting with her, had some kind of major flaw about her. As I pointed out yesterday, Marz was legally blind. These flaws are not always physical, but they cause me to have a tendency to refer to my ex-girlfriends as "the blind one," etc.
I also need to take this opportunity to explain a few things about everything for which I'm going into detail, most of which will probably make you slap your forehead hard enough to get a concussion. Please keep in mind that Marz was the first real girlfriend I'd had in almost eight years. I was bound and determined to make this relationship last more than two weeks because I believed at first it might possibly lead to marriage. I was going to do everything to be the best and most understanding boyfriend ever, even if my willingness to trust her showed a great deal of naivete on my part. If I had experienced all the types of girlfriends I'd had my entire life up to this point, I probably would have left her after the first week (following the discussion we had after she'd told me she'd been raped). But at that time, there was no way I was willing to wait another eight years for another girlfriend, which scared me more than anything. I had to make this one last awhile.
As I mentioned yesterday, she capped off our first week by telling me that she had to go to Albuquerque with her family. I wrote that I didn't like this, but didn't fully explain why: During our conversations, she told me that her ex-boyfriend (named Nid) moved to Albuquerque a few months earlier with his family. One of the things that was apparent about Nid was that he was a "rich boy." She swore to me that she was not going to see him while she was there.
I didn't hear from her Monday or Tuesday. Wednesday was the day I found out I got shafted to the overnight shift at KZZO. While I was at home that night waiting for my show to begin, she called me. She had tried calling the station first, but found out that I wasn't going to be on the air yet. I had to explain what happened and that we weren't going to be able to spend as much time together because I knew how messed up my sleep pattern was about to become.
She then told me that she "accidentally" ran into Nid in Albuquerque. (As much as I was trying to be the trusting boyfriend, I knew she was lying. You don't accidentally run into the person you're trying to avoid in Albuquerque. I've even gone up to Albuquerque to meet with a friend and missed him the whole time I was there, and he knew I was coming!) I didn't get mad at her because I appreciated that she was being honest. Besides, I was too upset about what happened to me at work to worry about her indiscretions.
I was on the air Saturday afternoon when she called me. I remember screeching with delight when I heard her voice. We made plans for me to come see her that night at her sister's. However, she told me she got sunburned in Albuquerque, so I wouldn't be able to touch her. When I actually saw her, I completely forgot all about the sunburn and hugged her. I suddenly remembered what she said and backed off. I said I was sorry. The strange thing was that she didn't exhibit any signs of pain when I touched her bare arms.
I had been hoping to fall asleep with her in my arms that night, but that didn't happen. We only got to hang out for a couple of hours before she asked me to leave. The whole time I was there, it seemed like her mind was on something else, but she wouldn't tell me what was going on. (Yes, I know what her mind was on!)
My main goal at that point was to get her to go on a second date with me, something I never got to do with Roz. We went bowling. I knew she wasn't going to be good at it, but the point was just for the two of us to go out and have fun as a couple without going to the movies or some other activity that required us to sit on our butts. It wouldn't have been so bad, but the alley put the only other people there right next to us, so she got rather embarassed about it.
We would spend some time together here and there. Mostly, we just hung out at my apartment or went to get something to eat. The first couple of Friday and Saturday nights we spent at my apartment. We would hold each other and kiss before falling asleep in each others' arms. I was very happy when our relationship hit the three week mark.
And that's when things started to go bad. One night before my shift, we were talking on the phone. She started saying she was afraid that something could happen between us and I would be the one to blame. I tried to be sensitive to what she was saying and told her the idea that something could happen scared me a little too. And then the conversation went into "Say Anything" territory (two years before that movie came out). There's that scene in which Ione Skye thinks she needs to focus more on her family problems while John Cusack is sensitively listening and agreeing with her. The next thing he knows, they're broken up! The only difference was that our conversation did not end with stunned silence. I actually yelled and screamed at her for seeing her ex-boyfriend in Albuquerque when she promised me she wasn't going to. She hung up the phone and I thought, "Well, that's it, then." I just sat there for a half-hour. (I got to work really early because I had nothing better to do.) She called back and we calmly talked things through. I apologized for yelling at her and we decided to continue seeing each other.
But the relationship was never the same after that. It was little things that changed at first. When we kissed, she would wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. It wasn't because I slobbered on her. She would let me continue to kiss her, but every time, she wiped. She did this in an "I'm only kidding" manner, but she didn't stop. After awhile, she wouldn't let me hold her. After that, we didn't hold hands as often.
We went a couple of weeks without spending the night together. I finally got her to agree to come to the apartment on a Saturday night. Before we started holding each other, she said she had to make a phone call. I was laying on the bed while she sat next to me. I don't know who she was talking to, but it was obviously a guy and she was acting very flirtatious with him. Every once in awhile, she would lean over and kiss me. But the conversation went on for an HOUR AND A HALF! All day long, I had been really looking forward to getting to hold her and kiss her. I didn't want to wreck that by making her get off the phone and having her get mad at me. However, when she did hang up, she just sat there and looked at phone. She didn't say anything to me. I tried to hold her, but she gently brushed my hands away. Okay. Now, I'm mad. "WHY DID YOU SPEND AN HOUR AND A HALF ON THE PHONE WITH THAT GUY? YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO BE ON THE PHONE THAT LONG!" She yelled back, "I WAS TRYING TO SET SOMETHING UP FOR MY SISTER!" "NO, YOU WEREN'T! YOU DIDN'T EVEN MENTION YOUR SISTER THAT WHOLE TIME!"
We stopped talking to each other and just laid down on the bed with our backs facing each other. We both fell asleep that way. When we woke up, I really felt rested, which was surprising. I just drove her home after she woke up. She didn't really say much.
After that, I was never able to get her to sleep at my apartment without her friends or her sister Vid (or both) staying the night in my living room. We never got to hold and kiss. We just laid in bed and fell asleep. One time was really awkward when Vid had to sleep in the bed with us because there were two friends on my living room couches. (Marz was in the middle and would scream if I tried to touch her.)
And yet, things just kept getting worse. More about that on Monday.
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