Friend Zone #9: Brez

I first met Brez when I started working at News Monitoring Services in 1993. She was the editor. She would take the orders for video clips of news stories and edit them together. She had been working there at least a year before I started.

She was definitely in my league. She was smart quirky cute and I got along with her. Looking back, I'm pretty certain she had Asperger Syndrome. I never realized until now that we probably had that much in common. (But as you'll see, it wasn't really going to do that much good.)

A couple of months after I had been hired, she quit to go to work in the UCSD video department. About seven months later, I was at the 1994 Comic-Con in San Diego during the big Saturday night party under the sails. I had been playing Blackjack with the limited number of chips we were each given. When I ran out of "cash," I started walking around. I ran into Brez. She didn't recognize me at first. We talked and compared notes on working for Mr. N. She decided to leave and I walked her out to her car. I got her phone number. I was excited. I picked up someone at the Comic-Con!

I called her a few days later and asked her if she was interested in hearing some of my music on cassette. We arranged to meet at Java Joe's in Ocean Beach one day. This would be the first time I would go to the location that used to be a church. We talked for a little bit. I gave her the tapes, but I never found out what she thought of the music.

I would call her from time to time. I got her to agree to go out to see a movie with me. Somehow, I guess it started with us talking about the film "Natural Born Killers," and we decided to go. (I guess I was still unclear on the concept of a good "first date" movie.) We arranged to meet at the movie theatre. She didn't care much for it, but did like Robert Downey, Jr. She drove me back to my car in the parking garage. Before I left, I asked her for a hug and she obliged. (While I thought she enjoyed that as much as I did, I guess, in retrospect, she actually did it grudgingly.)

Within the next week, I had moved into my new apartment. I called her up to see if she wanted to get something to eat. She hesitated. I asked her if she wanted pizza. She groaned, like I had discovered her weakness. She still turned me down, but said we'd try to get together again sometime in the future.

A few days later, I tried to call, but the number was disconnected. WHAT? I tried calling directory assistance to see if she had a new number, but they would only give me the number I already had. I had no other way of getting hold of her. I didn't know where she lived. I knew where she worked, but I wasn't THAT desperate.

This was the second time in two years that I had someone ghost on me. And it was irritating both times because I thought we were off to a good start. And this time, she went so far as to cut off her primary means of communication. Was I really that undesirable that someone would go to these lengths to avoid me?

So, you're probably asking how Brez is a Friend Zone. Over the course of the next few years, I would keep running into her at Comic-Con. We'd usually talk for a little bit, but I never asked her about her disappearing act. I just figured she wasn't that interested in me and let it go. One time, Chud went with me to the Con on a Saturday and we ran into her. The three of us hung out for the rest of the day and attended the Masquerade together. Somehow, I think she forgot that we had dated.

She still lives in San Diego. She appears to work as a free-lance in TV production. She's into steampunk. One thing I found out is that she's Facebook friends with Mr. N. WHAT? Why would she do that? I found one photo of her online that appears to be from 2005. She looks the same as when I last saw her, but that photo was from 12 years ago (and she doesn't post photos of herself on her Facebook account). I also found that we have a Facebook friend in common. It's no one I'm that close to, but I did find a student film on YouTube that they had worked on together from 2011.

I guess it's a good thing that most friend zones come to an end sooner rather than later.