Ring Zone #5: Reaz

(What's a Ring Zone? Click here!)

In the middle of Kelz coming in and out of my life, I started thinking about pursuing a new relationship. However, I didn't want to start up with the personal ads again. But I didn't really know of any other method of meeting women. Even though I was now officially sexually active, I didn't have any desire to begin a series of prowling for one-night stands. I still wanted to meet someone I could have feelings for and have those feelings returned. This had all a part of my need to be a mature person before experiencing sex for the first time. I wanted to continue that same line of thinking, even though I knew I would be having sex with future girlfriends.

One particular Friday night, I went to the Javanican coffee house in Pacific Beach. It was practically a hut and could probably seat about 10 - 15 people inside. (But there was outdoor seating.) It featured a very small stage that was large enough for one person and a guitar. There were a few local musicians who had weekly gigs there.

This was the night I met Reaz. She was a singer-songwriter who was about my age. She had medium-length blonde hair and brown eyes. She was dressed in black. I was sort of like the only person there (out of maybe five) who was paying any attention to her. Usually, if I went to see live music and I'm just about the only person, I'll read whatever publications the venue has strewn about so as to not creep out the entertainment.

Her songs were standard coffee-house fare, intended more for background music as opposed to attention-seeking folk-rock activism. The songs were pleasant to listen to, but weren't anything special. During her break, she sat down and talked to me for a little bit. I told her I was also a local musician and we compared notes on songwriting. After her break, I decided to go do something else.

I ran into her again a few weeks later. I was going to perform during an open mic at the Wikiup Cafe. She came in to perform as well. I recognized her immediately, but it took her a few seconds to remember me. She told me she had been invited to be a part of the Wikiup's showcase the next week and the open mic MC asked her to come in that night to help build up an audience for the show.

I saw Reaz again at the showcase the next week. I was starting to get the idea that she might actually like me. However, for reasons that will become clear in tomorrow's post, I didn't think to get her phone number at the time. It would be a few months before I got to see her again. I saw a listing in the Reader that she was going to be playing at a coffee house in Carlsbad. I drove up to see her perform. She appeared very excited to see me. In the middle of her performance, this guy came in and walked up to her. She gave him a hug and a kiss on the lips. I was surprised. In the conversations we'd had, she never mentioned that she was involved with anyone. I didn't know what to think about this.

After her show was finished, I asked for her phone number. She gave it to me without hesitation, but didn't say anything about the guy I'd see her kiss. I looked at this as a positive.

I called her up a few days later. She sounded like she didn't really want to talk at that time. She told me where she was going to be performing next in San Diego and I said I would see her there.

I showed up at the coffee house and the kissing guy was there. She introduced him as her husband, Krad. He didn't act all jealous or anything, but I was pretty certain she asked him to be there as a kind of buffer. We were able to talk to each other like a couple of regular guys, so it didn't appear all awkward, although I felt the whole time that it was.

I saw her perform sporadically a few more times over the next couple of years. In 1999, when Abed
and I were going to perform at the Casbah in San Diego at a release show for a compilation CD that we appeared on, I had called and left a message on their machine. They actually showed up. I got to surprise them with my short hair. We visited for a bit.

Fairly soon after that, Reaz and Krad decided to move back to Minnesota, where she was from. I talked to her briefly before she left. I never got to talk to her again, even though she gave me her new address. I have not been able to find her on the Internet.

I have to tell you, Ring Zones aren't much fun when you have to interact with the husband.