I started settling into a post-Kelz existence. I was still trying to piece together everything that went wrong between us. The good part about all this was that none of my friends told me they thought I was stupid to move her out of Iowa. They probably knew I already felt that way.
One of the people I talked to was Lawz
. Unbeknownst to me, she had started a phone friendship with Kelz and would call from time to time. One of the things she told Kelz about was a phone line that she could call and listen to free personal ads by men. Lawz got a kick out of listening to them and thought Kelz would, too. But Lawz never tried to contact those who placed the ads. It was just something else she did when she was bored. I realized that this was the reason I kept getting phone calls from people who would hang up on me. It appeared that Kelz responded to the ads, went out and likely had one night stands.
At the time, I held Lawz responsible for that part of the downward spiral in our relationship. I didn't get mad on the phone, but I didn't talk to her again until about a year later. (The details of that are in the article I wrote about her.) But in the end, this wasn't the catalyst of the downturn in the relationship. It just led to me receiving a lot of awkward phone calls.
Kelz' ex-boyfriend from the Chicago area also called. (This was the one who fathered the child she had shortly before I met her.) It turned out she was keeping in contact with him and would call him from time to time. I thought this would be a good time to get answers to questions because I was having a hard time figuring out what was real about Kelz and what wasn't. He seemed eager to share.
He told me that she had a pretty messed-up existence. She had a tendency to have sex with random guys all the time, even when they were together. She would sometimes go so far as to find homeless men in alleys and have sex with them. He didn't know why she did this.
I asked about the satanic cult. He said he was pretty certain that was true, because she used to have a lot of tattoos that displayed this kind of activity. She'd had them removed before she met me. I could see the scars on her arms and body, but couldn't see what the tattoos used to be.
I asked about the other child and the drug dealing father, both of whom apparently died recently. I asked if they existed. He didn't know it for a fact. However, he did recall seeing a photograph of her holding a baby in the hospital when she was 16. So the child was real, but it was probably another one she gave up for adoption.
I told him that occasionally, when she was on the phone, it appeared like she wasn't talking to anyone (especially during those times she wanted to communicate something to me but couldn't tell me to my face). In fact, she was supposedly talking to him. He said there was one time when they were living together that she was on the phone and the noisy tone came on, so he didn't know when she was really talking to someone, either.
He told me that recently, she called him up and acted like I was there in the room with her, going so far to say something like, "Hey, make yourself useful and get me a beer!" I told him she never asked me to do that when she was on the phone.
I told him that before she moved back out to San Diego, she said that he had come to Iowa and hung out with her at her grandmother's house. He swore he'd never been to Iowa, especially in the last couple of months.
That conversation answered some questions, but brought on a lot more. Most of the questions were "Why?" I had to come to the realization that I would never get closure on them. I also needed to conclude that there was probably nothing I could have done differently to change the outcome. Kelz was just one of those women who could find trouble without really looking for it.
Since I knew she was not completely out of my life, the biggest questions were "When will it all end?" and, "What has to happen to make it all end?" It would be a long time before I got answers to those.
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