Unsettling News

Kelz called me up one day. "Hey, I'm pregnant. And it's yours!"

The first thought that entered my mind was: "THAT'S FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE! I USE CONDOMS! EVERY! SINGLE! TIME! AND YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE! I KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW FOR A FACT I'M THE FATHER!"

But I managed to keep these thoughts inside my head. I asked her what she wanted to do. "I want to get an abortion. I've already made an appointment to get one."

I thought, "Okay, end of discussion. She's already made the choice. I'm not going to stop her. I don't have a problem with this because I know full well I'm not the father." I asked for the appointment details. She told me when and where it was and that she wanted me to come pick her up afterward. I agreed to give her a ride home.

Since she had already planned the abortion, I wondered why she felt the need to tell me I was the father, particularly considering that I was likely not going to believe her. Did she think I would talk her out of it if I thought the baby was mine? She wasn't going to be able to pull that charade for very long because we were apt to have another situation like Sasd, in which it would have been very obvious I wasn't the father.

And I wondered if she had said anything to Ned. By this point, this guy had completely disappeared out of the picture, never to be heard from again.

Regardless of the knowledge that it wasn't mine and that Kelz had supposedly had prior abortions, I was still concerned about her. A singer-songwriter I knew in San Diego once wrote a song called, "After an Abortion." Seriously, it's one of the scariest songs I've ever heard. The artist details every range of emotion and feeling a woman experiences after having an abortion. Before I heard that song, I'd never given much thought about the mental impact the procedure would have on a woman. I just figured a woman decides to do that and it's done and over with. She just moves on with her life.

Some time ago, a Facebook "acquaintance" of mine was posting about the topic of abortion. He mentioned that he had gotten a few girlfriends pregnant in the past and each time, they had a logical discussion and decided that an abortion was the right thing to do. My thinking was, "Do you not know about the emotional toll the woman has to pay? Did none of these women express their feelings afterward? I'm guessing not, because if you had any idea what they were going through, you'd take measures to make sure you never put another woman in that position!"

I arrived at the clinic. Kelz was waiting outside. I got out of my car and went up to her. We held each other for a minute without saying anything.

As she got into my car, I asked her how she was doing. She said she was okay. I didn't press for any more information, but I could only imagine what she was thinking.

She also told me that the doctor said she couldn't have sex for six weeks. I saw this as a positive. No more giving into my urges and then feeling guilty about it afterward.

I dropped her off at Mr. & Mrs. B's and drove home. I didn't know how this was going to affect her in the long run, and I never did find out. The possibility that I had gotten her pregnant was never a topic of discussion ever again.