Many people might call me a loser. Even though I don't have many negative attributes, I just haven't been able to really get what I want out of life. This blog is a means of helping me figure out what things went wrong and how they went wrong, but will not offer any solutions on how I can fix my problems. There will be no epiphanies here. I am trying to take a light-hearted look at my life, despite the many dark areas.
Monday, October 23, 2017
It wasn't completely over
Even though she left California, Kelz was not totally out of my life, at least for the first six months. She called me when she and Sasd arrived in Iowa so I would know they were safe. I guess we agreed to keep in touch, but I knew I wasn't going to put much effort into that.
One thing I did was send her all the photos I had of her and Sasd. I also had a lot of the pictures that were originally taken at the hospital after Sasd was born. About a month after they left, I received a large envelope. Inside were two letters and a card with another letter inside. (I'm not going to share ALL the letters she wrote. Just a couple.)
From what I could figure out in the writing, the letter in the card was the first one she wrote. The card had a sexually suggestive bent to it and the letter expressed some regret about falling in love with me and provided her phone number and address. Then, it looks like she wrote this one:
As it turns out, she never did put Sasd up for adoption. And I don't think she got involved in the cult again.
The other letter in the packet expressed the same sentiments, except that she begged me to reveal my secret as to how I got over her so quickly. The truth was that I did not immediately get over her, but I was still in a lot of pain. One of the problems was that I was getting correspondence from the San Diego Police Department that apparently had me registered as a victim of domestic violence. I didn't like that designation, but it was one of the consequences I had to pay to get her permanently out of my life.
After Thanksgiving, I received two cards that had been mailed off the same day. One was a Christmas card. The other was a Thanksgiving card that included Sasd's first baby picture and a baby picture of the boy Kelz had before she met me. It also contained the postcard at the top of this article. Okay, that was CLEARLY intended to spook me a little. I don't care how smiley that face is, it's taunting me!
After New Year 1998, she sent two more cards. She included a photo of Sasd standing and another one of her and Sasd together. Kelz was sticking her tongue out with the piercing. The other card had unfocused photos of her without glasses, a nose piercing and her sticking her tongue out. It also had this "wedding invitation:"
It gave a date for a wedding between her and some guy that was set for February 15, 1998 at 2:30pm at a church in Garner, IA. And because she appeared to be getting married, she included this letter:
But of course, this was not the last I heard from her. She sent me a rather flirty Valentine's Day card. A couple of weeks later, she called me at work. My supervisor was surprised to hear her voice again. Kelz asked me to get Sasd some clothes for her birthday. She also told me that the wedding never happened and that she was still single. I went to K-Mart, found some stuff and sent it to her. I remember calling to make sure she got it. Kelz got very emotional on the phone. She said she couldn't believe that I could hate her so much, but still show love for Sasd. I told Kelz that I didn't hate her, but didn't offer any more than that.
Six months after she'd left San Diego, I finally stopped hearing from her on a regular basis. But she did find ways to communicate with me over the next few years.
I'll go into that tomorrow.
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