Besides photographing birds, Fraz was also interested in being a performer. She tried her hand at being a singer/songwriter. She learned how to play the guitar and had a few songs that she had composed. This was how we started becoming friends.
However, her desire to succeed as a performer created a problem when we went to see live music. She would enjoy it for a little bit. Then, she would start getting jealous and question why we were watching someone play when she should be up on stage and the audience cheering for her. She would start making critical comments about the performer to me. "She's not really that good! Why do all these people like her?" These comments would start off as whispers and gradually get a little louder, enough that people close to us could hear her.
Since the singer/songwriter thing wasn't panning out, she decided to try her hand at stand-up comedy. Fraz was actually very funny and entertaining to be around. Abed noticed that when I was talking to her on the phone, I would spend a lot of time laughing. But she couldn't get that part of her personality to translate properly at comedy clubs.
I frequently went with her to the open mic nights on Sundays at the Comedy Store in La Jolla. Everyone who signed up would get to do a three-minute routine. What Fraz would do was spend a full minute singing. And I don't mean she sang funny songs or parody songs. She would do songs like "My Favorite Things" or "The Lonely Goatherd" from "The Sound of Music" and she simply performed them straight. She always wondered why she never got asked back to do longer sets. I told her what the problem was. The people who book at the Comedy Store were probably watching her three-minute sets and thinking, "If she spends one-third of her three minutes singing, she will spend at least three minutes singing in a ten-minute set. If we give her 30 minutes, she will spend ten minutes singing! We can't have that! People are not willing to buy that much alcohol to find her funny!"
She would also ask my advice on how to make her jokes better. I would give her some, but she never would abide by it. She just kept doing her own thing.
Fraz also tried her hand performing as a "Drag King." Drag Kings are women (mostly lesbians) who put on shows similar to Drag Queens. I saw one of the shows that Fraz participated in. Fraz would do her act wearing a cowboy outfit with a fake moustache. I have to say, I find Drag Queens far more entertaining.
Otherwise, Fraz and I were very good friends. We had a lot in common, including our taste in music. Another thing that we joked about having in common was our taste in women. I actually had to worry about her trying to coax away women I was dating. I had a tendency to not let them meet her. However, there was one time I tried to coax a woman she had seen, but that's a story for a later time.
While we were only ever friends, I did get the idea that she would have liked for us to have been more. But I have a feeling she didn't like the idea of being emotionally tied to someone she thought was a "loser" (even though she had less going for her than I did, and if she didn't have that trust fund from her father, she'd probably be dumpster diving). This, more than anything, including her attraction to women, kept us from being a couple.
In the meantime, you'll see Fraz make a few more appearances in this blog, but she will not take center stage, like my ex-girlfriends. Even though I'm certain that's someplace she'd like to be.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
Monday, October 30, 2017
More about Fraz, Part 1
(I had gone into a little detail about Fraz a couple of weeks ago. I wrote about how we met and became friends. I just needed to get some basic information out of the way so that I could clearly write about the incident involving LocalSinger. There was certainly a lot more to Fraz' story and she'll be making several appearances in upcoming posts. I'm using today's and tomorrow's articles to give more background about her.)
I called Fraz up a couple of days after I got her number at El Campo Ruse. She seemed excited to hear from me and we talked a bit about our interests. She invited me to come over and hang out on Halloween 1997. (Wow, 20 years ago!) She wanted to go to "A Nightmare on Normal Street," an annual festival-style gathering in Hillcrest.
I showed up at her house and Lawd (whom I met the second time I saw Fraz) was there. I realized at this moment that I was being Friend-Zoned. (Whatever.) He was apparently being Friend-Zoned, too. We hung out and Fraz just kept futzing around. Lawd and I kept trying to get her to leave to go to the Nightmare, but she insisted on us putting on some form of makeup for Halloween. I allowed her to put a little black triangle on my nose and whiskers so I looked a little like a cat. Lawd also agreed to a minor amount of make up.
We got over to Normal Street, but the event was already over. There were a lot of people hanging around in the aftermath, but crews were already taking down the stage. Fraz kept going around asking if anything was happening, but everyone told her the same thing. That was it. We missed it. I know EXACTLY how Cartman felt. (WOOHOO! A recent cultural reference!)
I did get to hang out with Fraz on numerous other occasions. Sometimes Lawd was there, sometimes it was just the two of us. It was always a struggle to plan things. If I came over to see Fraz, she would need to run a bunch of errands first before we would do the thing we planned on doing. Then, we wouldn't spend very much time on the planned activity.
Early on in the friendship, she came over to hang out with me at my apartment (without having to run errands first). We were going to watch a few episodes of "Ellen." She brought some alcohol with her. Since I didn't have a couch, we were going to have to watch TV on the bed. I was hoping that the alcohol might help lead to something happening between us, but it didn't.
While we were getting to know each other, I wondered how she supported herself. She freelanced as a journalist for the alternative lifestyle weeklies, but she clearly didn't make enough to afford her own apartment. And she didn't seem to have a regular job. Eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I straight out asked her. She admitted that her father was wealthy and he had set up a trust fund for her. She got an allowance and it was enough to cover her rent and other expenses.
After a few months, I got to meet her father. As it turned out, he has the same first name as me (my real name). Fraz said that if she knew me by my real name first, she never would have been friends with me. He was British, but became an American citizen. He seemed to tolerate my presence. Her mother appeared to have suffered from a stroke at some point. She had some trouble getting around. Her father was rather fit for his age and enjoyed skiing on a regular basis, something her mother couldn't do.
Fraz' thing was that she wanted to make a living photographing birds. In the United States, everyone says you can do what you want to do, but the opportunity to make money at it is not guaranteed. She had taken some amazing photos and had been able to have them displayed at local galleries and coffeehouses, but she didn't get paid for this.
And she was REALLY into birds. Once we were watching a documentary about the mating rituals of birds in Africa and the look on her face was like she was watching porn.
Prior to meeting me, she'd experienced a couple of setbacks. The first was that she'd survived a heart attack. She was 31 when I met her, so this happened at a fairly young age for her. The other was that she had been mugged at gunpoint. This created an aversion to violence. If we were watching something on TV, and it looked like violence was about to occur, she wouldn't be able to watch it. This presented a problem when we watched "Some Like It Hot." I had to fast-forward through the scenes involving gunfire. This also meant we couldn't go out and see movies because we almost never knew when one of them might contain enough violence to trigger her anxiety.
So, our friendship was basically limited to running errands, eating, watching TV and experiencing live events. As will go into detail in tomorrow's post, even that presented a problem.
I called Fraz up a couple of days after I got her number at El Campo Ruse. She seemed excited to hear from me and we talked a bit about our interests. She invited me to come over and hang out on Halloween 1997. (Wow, 20 years ago!) She wanted to go to "A Nightmare on Normal Street," an annual festival-style gathering in Hillcrest.
I showed up at her house and Lawd (whom I met the second time I saw Fraz) was there. I realized at this moment that I was being Friend-Zoned. (Whatever.) He was apparently being Friend-Zoned, too. We hung out and Fraz just kept futzing around. Lawd and I kept trying to get her to leave to go to the Nightmare, but she insisted on us putting on some form of makeup for Halloween. I allowed her to put a little black triangle on my nose and whiskers so I looked a little like a cat. Lawd also agreed to a minor amount of make up.
We got over to Normal Street, but the event was already over. There were a lot of people hanging around in the aftermath, but crews were already taking down the stage. Fraz kept going around asking if anything was happening, but everyone told her the same thing. That was it. We missed it. I know EXACTLY how Cartman felt. (WOOHOO! A recent cultural reference!)
I did get to hang out with Fraz on numerous other occasions. Sometimes Lawd was there, sometimes it was just the two of us. It was always a struggle to plan things. If I came over to see Fraz, she would need to run a bunch of errands first before we would do the thing we planned on doing. Then, we wouldn't spend very much time on the planned activity.
Early on in the friendship, she came over to hang out with me at my apartment (without having to run errands first). We were going to watch a few episodes of "Ellen." She brought some alcohol with her. Since I didn't have a couch, we were going to have to watch TV on the bed. I was hoping that the alcohol might help lead to something happening between us, but it didn't.
While we were getting to know each other, I wondered how she supported herself. She freelanced as a journalist for the alternative lifestyle weeklies, but she clearly didn't make enough to afford her own apartment. And she didn't seem to have a regular job. Eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I straight out asked her. She admitted that her father was wealthy and he had set up a trust fund for her. She got an allowance and it was enough to cover her rent and other expenses.
After a few months, I got to meet her father. As it turned out, he has the same first name as me (my real name). Fraz said that if she knew me by my real name first, she never would have been friends with me. He was British, but became an American citizen. He seemed to tolerate my presence. Her mother appeared to have suffered from a stroke at some point. She had some trouble getting around. Her father was rather fit for his age and enjoyed skiing on a regular basis, something her mother couldn't do.
Fraz' thing was that she wanted to make a living photographing birds. In the United States, everyone says you can do what you want to do, but the opportunity to make money at it is not guaranteed. She had taken some amazing photos and had been able to have them displayed at local galleries and coffeehouses, but she didn't get paid for this.
And she was REALLY into birds. Once we were watching a documentary about the mating rituals of birds in Africa and the look on her face was like she was watching porn.
Prior to meeting me, she'd experienced a couple of setbacks. The first was that she'd survived a heart attack. She was 31 when I met her, so this happened at a fairly young age for her. The other was that she had been mugged at gunpoint. This created an aversion to violence. If we were watching something on TV, and it looked like violence was about to occur, she wouldn't be able to watch it. This presented a problem when we watched "Some Like It Hot." I had to fast-forward through the scenes involving gunfire. This also meant we couldn't go out and see movies because we almost never knew when one of them might contain enough violence to trigger her anxiety.
So, our friendship was basically limited to running errands, eating, watching TV and experiencing live events. As will go into detail in tomorrow's post, even that presented a problem.
Friday, October 27, 2017
Kelz vs. Chez: The Final Tally
So, you're probably wondering: Who out of my last two relationships took up the most space on this blog? Was it Kelz or Chez? I had pretend marriages with both of them, and they both had major impacts on my life.
As far as I know, I have finished writing about both of them. I've fully completed my story with Chez, but I know that I will be making reference to Kelz in an upcoming post down the line, so I will include that in her total. I am including this article for both as well. I am not including posts in which I merely allude to them.
I acknowledge that either one of them could make an appearance in my life right now and will give me more material to write about. I cannot sit around and anticipate that. If it happens, it happens, and you'll eventually learn about it.
Here's the deal with Chez: In real time and in dealing with each other face to face, from the moment I met her at her parents' house to the moment I last saw her at her apartment, our story lasted 9 1/2 years. With Kelz, it lasted a month shy of two years.
So, here is the number of articles each appeared in:
Chez - 56
Kelz - 83
Yes, I expected Chez to win this one. In fact, when I first started writing about Kelz, I predicted that there would be at least 20 articles about her. BOY! WAS I WAY OFF! On this blog, it takes me about a month to cover a year of my life. Even though Kelz and I were together for less than two years, I have spent the last FOUR MONTHS writing about her and nothing but her with the exception of most of my Friday articles!
And if Chez wants to catch up, she's going to have create a LOT of major drama for me! I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!
Really, I could go the rest of my life without hearing from either one of them again.
But I do need to add that while I regret the period of time Chez and I lived together and wished that had never happened, I don't feel that way about Kelz. I would do anything to change the story about me and Chez, but not me and Kelz. It's often crossed my mind that if I set aside all the times she intentionally tried to sabotage the relationship, she was probably the best girlfriend I'd ever been with. We really bonded together so well and I fondly remember the good times we had. I don't do that so much with Chez. At any rate, I am rather glad that I don't really have contact with either of them.
And a special note to my regular readers: My blog is about to become a LOT less exciting from here on out. While a lot of bad stuff happened to me afterward, it was nowhere near the scale I experienced with these two women. But I guarantee it will still be worth reading.
As far as I know, I have finished writing about both of them. I've fully completed my story with Chez, but I know that I will be making reference to Kelz in an upcoming post down the line, so I will include that in her total. I am including this article for both as well. I am not including posts in which I merely allude to them.
I acknowledge that either one of them could make an appearance in my life right now and will give me more material to write about. I cannot sit around and anticipate that. If it happens, it happens, and you'll eventually learn about it.
Here's the deal with Chez: In real time and in dealing with each other face to face, from the moment I met her at her parents' house to the moment I last saw her at her apartment, our story lasted 9 1/2 years. With Kelz, it lasted a month shy of two years.
So, here is the number of articles each appeared in:
Chez - 56
Kelz - 83
Yes, I expected Chez to win this one. In fact, when I first started writing about Kelz, I predicted that there would be at least 20 articles about her. BOY! WAS I WAY OFF! On this blog, it takes me about a month to cover a year of my life. Even though Kelz and I were together for less than two years, I have spent the last FOUR MONTHS writing about her and nothing but her with the exception of most of my Friday articles!
And if Chez wants to catch up, she's going to have create a LOT of major drama for me! I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!
Really, I could go the rest of my life without hearing from either one of them again.
But I do need to add that while I regret the period of time Chez and I lived together and wished that had never happened, I don't feel that way about Kelz. I would do anything to change the story about me and Chez, but not me and Kelz. It's often crossed my mind that if I set aside all the times she intentionally tried to sabotage the relationship, she was probably the best girlfriend I'd ever been with. We really bonded together so well and I fondly remember the good times we had. I don't do that so much with Chez. At any rate, I am rather glad that I don't really have contact with either of them.
And a special note to my regular readers: My blog is about to become a LOT less exciting from here on out. While a lot of bad stuff happened to me afterward, it was nowhere near the scale I experienced with these two women. But I guarantee it will still be worth reading.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
A Momentary Follow-Up
While yesterday's post was very long, it could have been even longer if I had decided to include the information from today's article. I definitely had more things to discuss in the period of time that occurred between the sit-com moment and just a few years ago.
I don't think that I attended any more of LocalSinger's shows after the moment. The guilt I was living with really made it difficult to enjoy her performances after that. And I knew that one day, my identity was going to come out and be out of my control. So, by not going to her shows any more, I was able to completely avoid any further awkward situations.
LocalSinger never became someone who was wildly successful. She was able to make some kind of living as a performer, but she never reached the heights that she was fully capable of. I felt bad that Kelz made her go through something she wasn't ready for at a relatively early stage of her career for and probably never had to experience again.
One thing I didn't find out until later was that LocalSinger and Jazzer were very good friends. If I'd known that, I would have dropped her name instead of Appalachian's. I've always wondered if LocalSinger ever told Jazzer about the threats. And if she did, she probably mentioned my name. "Fayd? I met his girlfriend! She was crazy! I mean, Fayd's okay, but she had something wrong with her!" That conversation would have helped smooth things over, but I doubt it happened.
And there were other people she knew who'd had some minor contact with Kelz, including PuertoRican, Jez and two other people I'll refer to as "SeasonChanger" and "Catcher." I don't know that any of them could have given her much information or even remembered Kelz.
I'd put all of this out of my mind for about ten years. In 2010, I started a profile on Facebook. I was able to reconnect with a lot of people I knew from the San Diego music scene back then. After a few months, Facebook was suggesting friends I might connect with based on my current list of friends. One of them was LocalSinger. My first thought was, "Oh, no! If they're suggesting her to me, that means they're suggesting me to her. This is going to stir all that stuff up again for her!" I hope that she just ignored those suggestions, but it's possible she recognized me as that guy who used to come to her shows whose name she thought was "Perd."
Facebook no longer suggests her as a recommendation to me and I hope I no longer show up on hers. I would feel a lot better if she just completely forgot all about me.
I don't think that I attended any more of LocalSinger's shows after the moment. The guilt I was living with really made it difficult to enjoy her performances after that. And I knew that one day, my identity was going to come out and be out of my control. So, by not going to her shows any more, I was able to completely avoid any further awkward situations.
LocalSinger never became someone who was wildly successful. She was able to make some kind of living as a performer, but she never reached the heights that she was fully capable of. I felt bad that Kelz made her go through something she wasn't ready for at a relatively early stage of her career for and probably never had to experience again.
One thing I didn't find out until later was that LocalSinger and Jazzer were very good friends. If I'd known that, I would have dropped her name instead of Appalachian's. I've always wondered if LocalSinger ever told Jazzer about the threats. And if she did, she probably mentioned my name. "Fayd? I met his girlfriend! She was crazy! I mean, Fayd's okay, but she had something wrong with her!" That conversation would have helped smooth things over, but I doubt it happened.
And there were other people she knew who'd had some minor contact with Kelz, including PuertoRican, Jez and two other people I'll refer to as "SeasonChanger" and "Catcher." I don't know that any of them could have given her much information or even remembered Kelz.
I'd put all of this out of my mind for about ten years. In 2010, I started a profile on Facebook. I was able to reconnect with a lot of people I knew from the San Diego music scene back then. After a few months, Facebook was suggesting friends I might connect with based on my current list of friends. One of them was LocalSinger. My first thought was, "Oh, no! If they're suggesting her to me, that means they're suggesting me to her. This is going to stir all that stuff up again for her!" I hope that she just ignored those suggestions, but it's possible she recognized me as that guy who used to come to her shows whose name she thought was "Perd."
Facebook no longer suggests her as a recommendation to me and I hope I no longer show up on hers. I would feel a lot better if she just completely forgot all about me.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
A Sit-Com Moment
This article is likely going to be the longest one I'm going to write in this phase of the blog. It all leads up to a certain moment, and it would be just crazy to have several parts when it's really about that one moment. The course of this story spans four years and involves a lot of different people.
On July 13th, 1995, I went to Twigg's Coffee House in San Diego to experience some live music. I had looked for events in the San Diego Reader. At the time, they had a service in which you could call and listen to musical snippets by local musicians. I liked this one song by someone called Appalachian and decided to go check her out. She was hosting a regular series of weekly performances called "Appalachian and Friends." I came in before the show started and met her. I also got to meet the man she was married to at the time, but they never disclosed to me that they were married.
During the performance, a friend of Appalachian showed up. This was Jazzer. Jazzer went up and sang back up on Appalachian's song about a thrift store. (This was a hallmark of her shows, in which her friends would get up and sing this particular song with her.) Jazzer also performed one of her own songs and plugged a show she was performing that weekend at Seaport Village. I also got to meet Appalachian's dog Celie.
I came back to Twigg's the next Thursday. Appalachian saw me and told me that she had an opening act that night. It was a duo that featured a vocalist I'll call "LocalSinger" and a guitarist I'll call "LocalGuitarist." They used to be based in San Diego, but went up to San Francisco for a couple of years before coming back. This was one of their first shows since they returned.
A year and a half later, LocalSinger and LocalGuitarist had formed a full band that included bass, keyboards and drums. They had also released a CD. When Perd was staying with Kelz and me, the two of us decided to go to Java Joe's to check them out. Perd greatly enjoyed them. The table that had been set up to sell their CD also had some free PR materials on it. One was a card that utilized the cover of the CD. On the back of the card was a phone number. I noticed that the number was two digits away from the number for the voice mail I had set up for Ogolon Records.
I took the card and put it in the console of the car. I never brought it into the apartment or did anything with it. It just sat there in the console. Kelz was asleep when we got back that night.
About eight months later, I had managed to get Kelz and Sasd to leave the cottage. After I had gone with her and her uncle to set up the air travel arrangements for their departure, I came home and called my Ogolon Records voice mail. When I listened to the number as it speed-dialed, I could tell that the last two digits were off. The next thing I knew, I could hear a woman's voice giving performance dates. I quickly deduced that I had reached the voicemail for LocalSinger. After the dates were provided, LocalSinger said, "...and by the way, if any of you happens to know who Fayd is, could you please let us know? (slight giggle) We'd really appreciate it!"
I hung up the phone. I had all sorts of questions. What was going on? Why did she want to know who I was? The only thing I knew for certain was that Kelz had reprogrammed the speed dial on my phone to call her number. I wondered why she did that. Slowly, but surely, I started putting pieces together. I recalled how she had called up Thoz and Knod, accused them of having sex with me and threatened to kill them. Gasp! She had probably done that to LocalSinger! I figured she'd found the card in my console and decided that I was having an affair with her. And because her voicemail was two digits from my voicemail, it was easy for her to remember the number. This was someone I hadn't even met before! I had only seen her perform those two times and never said anything to Kelz about her!
I called the voicemail back to leave a message. At the time, I figured the threat had about as much impact on her as it did on Thoz and Knod. They didn't take it seriously and judging by the slight giggle she had on her outgoing message, she didn't, either. I had a light-hearted tone in my voice: "Hi. This is Fayd. Appalachian knows me. I think the reason you want to know who I am is because my ex-girlfriend has probably been calling you, accusing you of having sex with me and threatening to kill you. I heard your message because your voicemail is two digits away from mine and had gotten programmed into my phone. If you have any questions, you can call me." I left my regular phone number.
The next day, my phone rang. I answered. "Hi, is this Fayd?" "Yes?" "Hi, I'm Detective BW from the San Diego Police Department's Northern Division. I understand you know about the threats made against LocalSinger?" "Yeah, that was my ex-girlfriend Kelz." BW explained that he was investigating this case, even though it was out of his jurisdiction. He was brought in because he was investigating a death threat recently made against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter when she performed at Humphrey's and there was a chance this could be connected to that. He also said that while LocalSinger knew who Appalachian was, she didn't really know her. (I guess that wasn't the right name to drop, but it didn't make sense because the first time I saw her, she was opening for Appalachian.)
I started getting the idea that this situation was very serious, far more serious than LocalSinger's giggle had led me to believe. BW explained that Kelz had left three threatening messages on the voicemail. When LocalSinger heard the first message, she didn't go home for three days and waited for her fiancee to return before she could feel safe again.
Something I haven't mentioned about Kelz is the tone of her voice. It was rather deep. If you were to listen to her voice on the phone, you would have a hard time figuring out if you were talking to a male or a female. Because LocalSinger couldn't tell, it hindered her ability to perform because the person who left the threat could be anyone, ANYONE in the audience. She was truly freaking out about this.
I asked what Kelz said on the messages. BW said he could play them for me. The first one said, "You f*****' b****! I'm gonna kill you!" The second one said, "I'm gonna kill you, you b****! I know you've been f****** Fayd!" For whatever reason, he'd lost the third one. I told him it was definitely Kelz making those phone calls. However, I didn't think she was the one who made the threats against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter. We had no idea that she was playing at Humphrey's, so she wouldn't have known where to leave a message.
BW asked me to have Kelz call him the next time I talked to her. He said that right now, she was at a misdemeanor level, but if she left any more threats, it would be considered a felony. So, she needed to talk to him to get it straightened out and maybe they wouldn't press any charges. I also gave him my real name and address. I told him Kelz was about to leave for Iowa and didn't know when I was going to get to talk to her again.
Within 30 minutes, Kelz called my house. Before we got started on anything, I told her to write down the information I was about to give her. I gave the the phone number and the name of the detective. "What's this for?" "Well, this is about the threats you've been making against LocalSinger." "You mean your woman who you've been having sex with?" "Okay, I haven't been having sex with her, but you need to call the detective and straighten this out." "Why are they so interested?" "Because he's also investigating threats that were made against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter." "Yeah, you've been having sex with her, too!" "Riiiight, don't mention that to him." "But I didn't make the threats against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter!" "I know, and I told him that. But with the threats you've made against LocalSinger, you're about to commit a felony if you do any more, so you need to call this guy."
"We'll see." She hung up the phone. About five minutes later, she called me back. It sounded like she was panicking and trying to get her stuff together so she could leave right then and there. I asked, "Will you just call the detective?" We got off the phone.
About an hour later, I called BW to let him know that I had given Kelz the message. She had already called him and talked to him. She told him that once she came over to my apartment and she saw LocalSinger leaving. When she came inside, there were condom wrappers all over the floor and I was laughing at her. I found it hard to stifle my laughter when I heard this and I apologized for the uncontrollable outburst. I realized this was serious.
(What was really funny to me was that I didn't think that Kelz would have been able to identify LocalSinger from the picture on the card in my console. It featured her head tilted back and her mouth wide open. In order for Kelz to figure out who she was, she would have had to strike the same pose as she did in the picture.)
He said that he told her that I had identified her as the voice on the messages and he could tell by talking to her that she was the voice on the messages. He also told her that she had basically confessed to him and all she needed to do to avoid charges was to promise not to make any more threats against LocalSinger. She agreed to this. He said he had also talked to LocalSinger and she was relieved that it was more of a domestic situation and didn't really have to do with her. But it was still an unsettling experience for her.
In the meantime, I became aware that Kelz left one final message on LocalSinger's voicemail. She said, "Hi, LocalSinger. I'm sorry about putting you through all that. I guess it was some other hoochie woman I saw Fayd with who looked just like you." I really worried about what LocalSinger thought of me at this point. She likely could tell that Kelz was crazy, but did she think I was crazy, too?
The day that Kelz and Sasd left for Iowa, LocalSinger was going to be performing as part of a charity showcase featuring female performers at the Wikiup Cafe. I went that night. I found LocalSinger sitting with her bandmates. I went up and said, "Hi, LocalSinger, I'm Fayd. I'm really sorry about what happened. She left on a plane earlier today. I saw her leave and she won't be bothering you any more." She mouthed, "Thank you," but it was obvious she didn't want to discuss it any further. I turned around and left.
Fairly soon after, my friendship with Fraz started to blossom. One day, I was talking to her on the phone and we were discussing the local music scene. She asked, "Hey, do you know who I really like?" In my head, I was thinking, "Please don't say LocalSinger. Please don't say LocalSinger. Please don't say LocalSinger!" What did she say? "LocalSinger!" ("NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!")
LocalSinger happened to be playing a show at Java Joe's that weekend, so Fraz decided we should go to that. I hoped that we wouldn't sit close to the stage and could remain in the shadows so that she wouldn't see me. This happened to be one of the first performances in which LocalSinger was starting to branch on her own away from LocalGuitarist and was playing her own songs on the keyboard.
During the show, Fraz leaned over and asked me if I thought LocalSinger was a lesbian. Without thinking, I responded, "No, she has a fiancee." I could suddenly hear Fraz' eyes widening. "How do you know that?" "I... just... know that." Fraz seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't ask any more questions. Thank goodness!
Perd contacted me and said he wanted his wife Bird to see LocalSinger perform. She happened to be doing a show at Twigg's Coffee House that weekend. He had known about Kelz' threats and understood that I was going to try to avoid contact with LocalSinger. However, everywhere I went that evening, she happened to be nearby. It didn't matter if I was in the drink line, or outside or waiting for the bathroom. She was always in close vicinity. However, she didn't act uneasy regarding my presence.
Perd was very touched by the performance. It had such an impact, he said he cried during every song.
Over time, Fraz wrote a couple of articles about LocalSinger for alternative lifestyle publications. While she herself wasn't LGBT, LocalSinger was very supportive of the community and didn't mind being the subject of articles. I knew I could never tell Fraz about my connection to LocalSinger because she was sure to bring the threats up in an interview.
One time, Fraz told me LocalSinger had come over to her apartment to drop off some material. I was glad I didn't happen to be there. I had no idea how she was going to react when she saw that I was friends with Fraz.
In November of 1998, I shaved my iconic long hair from my head. While this wasn't the main reason I cut my hair, I felt like it would prevent LocalSinger from recognizing me and I could go to her performances like a normal person. This actually worked. I went to a couple of shows and didn't see any adverse reactions from her. I also didn't feel like I had to get out of her way. Once, I was at a showcase organized by Promoter and won a free CD. LocalSinger very excitedly handed me my prize and congratulated me. Yep, she had no idea who I was.
In September of 1999, I had planned a trip to New Mexico. By this time, Perd had split up from Bird, moved to Roswell and was living with a new girlfriend. Prior to the trip, I went to one of LocalSinger's performances at the Unitarian Church in San Diego and bought one of her CDs. I asked her to sign it and make it out to "Perd." Perd was excited about getting the CD. But I think LocalSinger probably believed my name was Perd at this point.
Fairly soon after that, a performer I'll call "Puerto Rican" was holding a CD release party. LocalSinger was going to open for him. Fraz wanted to go. We got there a little early and found seats. I was dreading the possibility of LocalSinger coming up and Fraz introducing us. I knew there would be an awkward moment when LocalSinger would suddenly go silent and start looking sad when she realized who I was. I knew that Fraz was going to start asking questions and I didn't know how I was going to answer her without her asking more questions or getting angry because there was a story I wasn't telling her. I hoped that LocalSinger wouldn't be hanging out with the audience prior to her part of the show.
That didn't happen. We saw LocalSinger coming in with Jez. They had just recently become besties. I thought, "Oh, no! If Fraz doesn't tell her who I am, Jez will!" They saw Fraz and started coming our direction. I could feel my brow sweating and my heart beating harder in my chest with every step they took toward us. When they got to us, LocalSinger turned to me and said, "Hi! How're you doing?" And then she turned to Fraz and talked to her a little. WHEW! Crisis averted!
After LocalSinger and Jez left, Fraz asked me, "You know LocalSinger?" "Uh, yeah. She's seen me at her shows." Fraz seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't ask any more questions.
And that was the moment my life was like a sit-com.
On July 13th, 1995, I went to Twigg's Coffee House in San Diego to experience some live music. I had looked for events in the San Diego Reader. At the time, they had a service in which you could call and listen to musical snippets by local musicians. I liked this one song by someone called Appalachian and decided to go check her out. She was hosting a regular series of weekly performances called "Appalachian and Friends." I came in before the show started and met her. I also got to meet the man she was married to at the time, but they never disclosed to me that they were married.
During the performance, a friend of Appalachian showed up. This was Jazzer. Jazzer went up and sang back up on Appalachian's song about a thrift store. (This was a hallmark of her shows, in which her friends would get up and sing this particular song with her.) Jazzer also performed one of her own songs and plugged a show she was performing that weekend at Seaport Village. I also got to meet Appalachian's dog Celie.
I came back to Twigg's the next Thursday. Appalachian saw me and told me that she had an opening act that night. It was a duo that featured a vocalist I'll call "LocalSinger" and a guitarist I'll call "LocalGuitarist." They used to be based in San Diego, but went up to San Francisco for a couple of years before coming back. This was one of their first shows since they returned.
A year and a half later, LocalSinger and LocalGuitarist had formed a full band that included bass, keyboards and drums. They had also released a CD. When Perd was staying with Kelz and me, the two of us decided to go to Java Joe's to check them out. Perd greatly enjoyed them. The table that had been set up to sell their CD also had some free PR materials on it. One was a card that utilized the cover of the CD. On the back of the card was a phone number. I noticed that the number was two digits away from the number for the voice mail I had set up for Ogolon Records.
I took the card and put it in the console of the car. I never brought it into the apartment or did anything with it. It just sat there in the console. Kelz was asleep when we got back that night.
About eight months later, I had managed to get Kelz and Sasd to leave the cottage. After I had gone with her and her uncle to set up the air travel arrangements for their departure, I came home and called my Ogolon Records voice mail. When I listened to the number as it speed-dialed, I could tell that the last two digits were off. The next thing I knew, I could hear a woman's voice giving performance dates. I quickly deduced that I had reached the voicemail for LocalSinger. After the dates were provided, LocalSinger said, "...and by the way, if any of you happens to know who Fayd is, could you please let us know? (slight giggle) We'd really appreciate it!"
I hung up the phone. I had all sorts of questions. What was going on? Why did she want to know who I was? The only thing I knew for certain was that Kelz had reprogrammed the speed dial on my phone to call her number. I wondered why she did that. Slowly, but surely, I started putting pieces together. I recalled how she had called up Thoz and Knod, accused them of having sex with me and threatened to kill them. Gasp! She had probably done that to LocalSinger! I figured she'd found the card in my console and decided that I was having an affair with her. And because her voicemail was two digits from my voicemail, it was easy for her to remember the number. This was someone I hadn't even met before! I had only seen her perform those two times and never said anything to Kelz about her!
I called the voicemail back to leave a message. At the time, I figured the threat had about as much impact on her as it did on Thoz and Knod. They didn't take it seriously and judging by the slight giggle she had on her outgoing message, she didn't, either. I had a light-hearted tone in my voice: "Hi. This is Fayd. Appalachian knows me. I think the reason you want to know who I am is because my ex-girlfriend has probably been calling you, accusing you of having sex with me and threatening to kill you. I heard your message because your voicemail is two digits away from mine and had gotten programmed into my phone. If you have any questions, you can call me." I left my regular phone number.
The next day, my phone rang. I answered. "Hi, is this Fayd?" "Yes?" "Hi, I'm Detective BW from the San Diego Police Department's Northern Division. I understand you know about the threats made against LocalSinger?" "Yeah, that was my ex-girlfriend Kelz." BW explained that he was investigating this case, even though it was out of his jurisdiction. He was brought in because he was investigating a death threat recently made against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter when she performed at Humphrey's and there was a chance this could be connected to that. He also said that while LocalSinger knew who Appalachian was, she didn't really know her. (I guess that wasn't the right name to drop, but it didn't make sense because the first time I saw her, she was opening for Appalachian.)
I started getting the idea that this situation was very serious, far more serious than LocalSinger's giggle had led me to believe. BW explained that Kelz had left three threatening messages on the voicemail. When LocalSinger heard the first message, she didn't go home for three days and waited for her fiancee to return before she could feel safe again.
Something I haven't mentioned about Kelz is the tone of her voice. It was rather deep. If you were to listen to her voice on the phone, you would have a hard time figuring out if you were talking to a male or a female. Because LocalSinger couldn't tell, it hindered her ability to perform because the person who left the threat could be anyone, ANYONE in the audience. She was truly freaking out about this.
I asked what Kelz said on the messages. BW said he could play them for me. The first one said, "You f*****' b****! I'm gonna kill you!" The second one said, "I'm gonna kill you, you b****! I know you've been f****** Fayd!" For whatever reason, he'd lost the third one. I told him it was definitely Kelz making those phone calls. However, I didn't think she was the one who made the threats against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter. We had no idea that she was playing at Humphrey's, so she wouldn't have known where to leave a message.
BW asked me to have Kelz call him the next time I talked to her. He said that right now, she was at a misdemeanor level, but if she left any more threats, it would be considered a felony. So, she needed to talk to him to get it straightened out and maybe they wouldn't press any charges. I also gave him my real name and address. I told him Kelz was about to leave for Iowa and didn't know when I was going to get to talk to her again.
Within 30 minutes, Kelz called my house. Before we got started on anything, I told her to write down the information I was about to give her. I gave the the phone number and the name of the detective. "What's this for?" "Well, this is about the threats you've been making against LocalSinger." "You mean your woman who you've been having sex with?" "Okay, I haven't been having sex with her, but you need to call the detective and straighten this out." "Why are they so interested?" "Because he's also investigating threats that were made against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter." "Yeah, you've been having sex with her, too!" "Riiiight, don't mention that to him." "But I didn't make the threats against SuperFamousSingerSongwriter!" "I know, and I told him that. But with the threats you've made against LocalSinger, you're about to commit a felony if you do any more, so you need to call this guy."
"We'll see." She hung up the phone. About five minutes later, she called me back. It sounded like she was panicking and trying to get her stuff together so she could leave right then and there. I asked, "Will you just call the detective?" We got off the phone.
About an hour later, I called BW to let him know that I had given Kelz the message. She had already called him and talked to him. She told him that once she came over to my apartment and she saw LocalSinger leaving. When she came inside, there were condom wrappers all over the floor and I was laughing at her. I found it hard to stifle my laughter when I heard this and I apologized for the uncontrollable outburst. I realized this was serious.
(What was really funny to me was that I didn't think that Kelz would have been able to identify LocalSinger from the picture on the card in my console. It featured her head tilted back and her mouth wide open. In order for Kelz to figure out who she was, she would have had to strike the same pose as she did in the picture.)
He said that he told her that I had identified her as the voice on the messages and he could tell by talking to her that she was the voice on the messages. He also told her that she had basically confessed to him and all she needed to do to avoid charges was to promise not to make any more threats against LocalSinger. She agreed to this. He said he had also talked to LocalSinger and she was relieved that it was more of a domestic situation and didn't really have to do with her. But it was still an unsettling experience for her.
In the meantime, I became aware that Kelz left one final message on LocalSinger's voicemail. She said, "Hi, LocalSinger. I'm sorry about putting you through all that. I guess it was some other hoochie woman I saw Fayd with who looked just like you." I really worried about what LocalSinger thought of me at this point. She likely could tell that Kelz was crazy, but did she think I was crazy, too?
The day that Kelz and Sasd left for Iowa, LocalSinger was going to be performing as part of a charity showcase featuring female performers at the Wikiup Cafe. I went that night. I found LocalSinger sitting with her bandmates. I went up and said, "Hi, LocalSinger, I'm Fayd. I'm really sorry about what happened. She left on a plane earlier today. I saw her leave and she won't be bothering you any more." She mouthed, "Thank you," but it was obvious she didn't want to discuss it any further. I turned around and left.
Fairly soon after, my friendship with Fraz started to blossom. One day, I was talking to her on the phone and we were discussing the local music scene. She asked, "Hey, do you know who I really like?" In my head, I was thinking, "Please don't say LocalSinger. Please don't say LocalSinger. Please don't say LocalSinger!" What did she say? "LocalSinger!" ("NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!")
LocalSinger happened to be playing a show at Java Joe's that weekend, so Fraz decided we should go to that. I hoped that we wouldn't sit close to the stage and could remain in the shadows so that she wouldn't see me. This happened to be one of the first performances in which LocalSinger was starting to branch on her own away from LocalGuitarist and was playing her own songs on the keyboard.
During the show, Fraz leaned over and asked me if I thought LocalSinger was a lesbian. Without thinking, I responded, "No, she has a fiancee." I could suddenly hear Fraz' eyes widening. "How do you know that?" "I... just... know that." Fraz seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't ask any more questions. Thank goodness!
Perd contacted me and said he wanted his wife Bird to see LocalSinger perform. She happened to be doing a show at Twigg's Coffee House that weekend. He had known about Kelz' threats and understood that I was going to try to avoid contact with LocalSinger. However, everywhere I went that evening, she happened to be nearby. It didn't matter if I was in the drink line, or outside or waiting for the bathroom. She was always in close vicinity. However, she didn't act uneasy regarding my presence.
Perd was very touched by the performance. It had such an impact, he said he cried during every song.
Over time, Fraz wrote a couple of articles about LocalSinger for alternative lifestyle publications. While she herself wasn't LGBT, LocalSinger was very supportive of the community and didn't mind being the subject of articles. I knew I could never tell Fraz about my connection to LocalSinger because she was sure to bring the threats up in an interview.
One time, Fraz told me LocalSinger had come over to her apartment to drop off some material. I was glad I didn't happen to be there. I had no idea how she was going to react when she saw that I was friends with Fraz.
In November of 1998, I shaved my iconic long hair from my head. While this wasn't the main reason I cut my hair, I felt like it would prevent LocalSinger from recognizing me and I could go to her performances like a normal person. This actually worked. I went to a couple of shows and didn't see any adverse reactions from her. I also didn't feel like I had to get out of her way. Once, I was at a showcase organized by Promoter and won a free CD. LocalSinger very excitedly handed me my prize and congratulated me. Yep, she had no idea who I was.
In September of 1999, I had planned a trip to New Mexico. By this time, Perd had split up from Bird, moved to Roswell and was living with a new girlfriend. Prior to the trip, I went to one of LocalSinger's performances at the Unitarian Church in San Diego and bought one of her CDs. I asked her to sign it and make it out to "Perd." Perd was excited about getting the CD. But I think LocalSinger probably believed my name was Perd at this point.
Fairly soon after that, a performer I'll call "Puerto Rican" was holding a CD release party. LocalSinger was going to open for him. Fraz wanted to go. We got there a little early and found seats. I was dreading the possibility of LocalSinger coming up and Fraz introducing us. I knew there would be an awkward moment when LocalSinger would suddenly go silent and start looking sad when she realized who I was. I knew that Fraz was going to start asking questions and I didn't know how I was going to answer her without her asking more questions or getting angry because there was a story I wasn't telling her. I hoped that LocalSinger wouldn't be hanging out with the audience prior to her part of the show.
That didn't happen. We saw LocalSinger coming in with Jez. They had just recently become besties. I thought, "Oh, no! If Fraz doesn't tell her who I am, Jez will!" They saw Fraz and started coming our direction. I could feel my brow sweating and my heart beating harder in my chest with every step they took toward us. When they got to us, LocalSinger turned to me and said, "Hi! How're you doing?" And then she turned to Fraz and talked to her a little. WHEW! Crisis averted!
After LocalSinger and Jez left, Fraz asked me, "You know LocalSinger?" "Uh, yeah. She's seen me at her shows." Fraz seemed satisfied with that answer and didn't ask any more questions.
And that was the moment my life was like a sit-com.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
A few more words here and there
Over the years that passed, I would get reminders that Kelz was still out there, thinking about me. I once logged into my Rotten Tomatoes account (in which my profile name was "Fayd") and saw that I had a personal message from someone who used the name of a well-known cartoon character. (Let's say it's "Richie Rich.") Richie asked me if my last name began with an "O." I responded in the affirmative. Richie then wrote back and while I don't remember what was written, it was clear it was Kelz. I did not respond back. Sometime later, I got a personal message from someone else. This person identified herself as Sasd and asked if she could correspond with me because I was like the only father she ever knew. I figured it was Kelz who sent the message and I never responded. I never heard from Richie again on Rotten Tomatoes.
In May of 2003, I was living in a studio apartment in San Diego. By this point, I had a cell phone. I also had a landline phone, which I mainly used for Internet connection. This was the same phone I had when Kelz was living with me in the cottage. I almost always had the adapter unplugged, so the phone would never ring. I would only plug it in when I was expecting a call from my girlfriend, who lived in San Jose. This particular day, the phone rang because I hadn't pulled out the plug. I answered it. "Is this Fayd?" "Yes?" "You know, you're a very hard person to get a hold of." "Uh, who is this?" "You don't recognize my voice?" "No, I don't."
Then the caller said to someone else in the room, "Sasd, keep quiet! I'm on the phone." I then knew who it was. "Hi, Kelz." I wasn't very enthusiastic. She said that since I last spoke to her, she'd gotten married to someone else (not the same guy she had on the invitations) and had four more kids. She had also come through San Diego a couple of weeks prior to see Mr. & Mrs. B. She tried to get a hold of me, but I never answered the phone. I sort of freaked out at this because my girlfriend had just been in town a couple of weeks before. This meant that there had been a chance that we would have run into Kelz! This was frightening!
I told my girlfriend (who would later become my wife) what had just happened. She didn't seem too thrilled that I talked to my ex-girlfriend. I promised her I wouldn't talk to her again. I have kept that promise since.
However, Kelz could still sneak up on me from time to time. In 2007, we were planning our wedding. I talked to Abed, who said he and his girlfriend Keld were going to be coming. They were planning to make it a vacation to San Francisco, where he used to live. We would try to get together and meet one day before the ceremony. He also told me that he had gotten a friend request from someone named Richie on MySpace. Usually, he just approved the requests without looking, but he got a sense that he should check this one out. It turned out it was Kelz. At this point, Kelz was working as a veterinary assistant. He said she asked about me and he told her I was getting married. She seemed disappointed when he told her that.
Around this time, my fiancee started up a MySpace account and she decided to flirt with disaster. I asked her not to, but she sent a friend request to Kelz anyway. Kelz never responded or accepted the request. I was thankful for that.
In 2011, I noticed that Abed was friends with "Richie" on Facebook. When I visited him, I asked if he could show me her Facebook profile. He let me, but she didn't have any photos of herself. It appeared that she had gotten into dark graphic design and only posted her artwork. However, I could tell that she was using her face in some of the designs that featured women in provocative poses.
After that, I would do Google searches on Kelz and Sasd from time to time. In 2010, I found Sasd's birthday listed on a church program for a church in Garner, IA. On the church's website, I found several photos posted of their youth group. Among the children was one black girl. This was obviously Sasd. The website featured several photos that had her in them. It appeared that they enjoyed looking like a diverse congregation. However, I did not find any photos of Kelz.
In October of 2013, after I had started up this blog and the YouTube vlog to go along with it, "Richie" left a comment on my channel trailer. It read, "Very interesting stuff ____________________." She wrote my full real name! She even spelled my middle name correctly, which almost no one does! I freaked out! The first thing I did was delete her comment. I then entered a comment on my own, which read, "Someone had previously left a comment on this video that I had to delete. While I don't have a problem with comments, I would prefer they not contain identifying information." I intended for her to see that message. In the meantime, I noticed that she had apparently watched the channel trailer at least seven times. I told Ms. Ogolon that Kelz had written a comment on one of my videos, but I had deleted it. Other things were going on at the time, so she didn't get much of a chance to get into a huff about it.
Not long after that, she commented on another video in which I discussed a matter that involved me and my brother Loyd. She wrote, "No actually said This is ______ and this is _____... (our real names) Geeze if you are going to tell a story at least get the details right!!" I deleted that comment without an explanation.
Once, when I Googled Kelz, I came across a blog titled, "The Truth about Richie Rich." It was dated October 10, 2013. It started out saying that while everyone thought Richie was a nice person, she really wasn't and had a controversial past. It identified her real name and her real maiden name, so it was definitely about Kelz. It talked about how she had been arrested numerous times in San Diego and had gotten into trouble with the law before in Illinois and Iowa. It also said that she'd had most of her kids taken away from her. But I didn't know if that was referring to the crop of kids she had when she called me in 2003. This blog was obviously written by someone with an ax to grind. They posted it in the hopes that someone would Google her name and find the article. This was the only entry on the blog. About a year ago, I noticed that the post had been deleted. However, the blog itself still remains. (I've found out the hard way that you can't get rid of a blog once you've started it.) I can only imagine that the person who wrote the post had second thoughts and decided to remove the content after a few years.
Sometime after discovering that, I found a GoFundMe page for Kelz. This was probably what brought about that blog post. Apparently, she was suffering from breast cancer at the time and set up the account to raise money for her chemotherapy treatments. The effort only ever raised $10. I have not been able to find that posting since.
I don't know where Kelz is now. I don't know where Sasd is now. I found both their Twitter accounts, but they haven't been active on them in years. Kelz is still active on Facebook. I can't tell if she's still married. I found a relative's obituary from 2015 that listed her husband as a survivor and that she was his spouse. I did find out that her husband is a couple of years older than me, but that's all I really know. Her Facebook page does show how she looks now. She has a tendency to frequently change her hair color.
So, I don't know if I've heard the last of Kelz yet. To tell you the truth, I was half-way expecting her to show up and make comments on this blog to dispute my version of events, but that hasn't happened.
But I'm not closing the book on Kelz yet. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a very lengthy post about something that happened right before she left San Diego 20 years ago this month.
Get ready for some heavy reading.
UPDATE (07/13/18): I found a LinkedIn profile for Sasd. It features a photograph of her. She is wearing glasses. The weird thing is that she looks so much like Kelz when she was that age. She just has darker hair and complexion, but you can definitely tell she's related to Kelz, way more than in the church photos. The profile shows that she graduated from high school in 2015. About a year after graduating, she worked in fast food and retail. It shows that her most recent employment ended in November of 2017 and doesn't have an update. She also doesn't have any connections. I can only assume she set up the account in hopes of finding a job through LinkedIn. All I know is that I am not going to ask to connect with her.
In May of 2003, I was living in a studio apartment in San Diego. By this point, I had a cell phone. I also had a landline phone, which I mainly used for Internet connection. This was the same phone I had when Kelz was living with me in the cottage. I almost always had the adapter unplugged, so the phone would never ring. I would only plug it in when I was expecting a call from my girlfriend, who lived in San Jose. This particular day, the phone rang because I hadn't pulled out the plug. I answered it. "Is this Fayd?" "Yes?" "You know, you're a very hard person to get a hold of." "Uh, who is this?" "You don't recognize my voice?" "No, I don't."
Then the caller said to someone else in the room, "Sasd, keep quiet! I'm on the phone." I then knew who it was. "Hi, Kelz." I wasn't very enthusiastic. She said that since I last spoke to her, she'd gotten married to someone else (not the same guy she had on the invitations) and had four more kids. She had also come through San Diego a couple of weeks prior to see Mr. & Mrs. B. She tried to get a hold of me, but I never answered the phone. I sort of freaked out at this because my girlfriend had just been in town a couple of weeks before. This meant that there had been a chance that we would have run into Kelz! This was frightening!
I told my girlfriend (who would later become my wife) what had just happened. She didn't seem too thrilled that I talked to my ex-girlfriend. I promised her I wouldn't talk to her again. I have kept that promise since.
However, Kelz could still sneak up on me from time to time. In 2007, we were planning our wedding. I talked to Abed, who said he and his girlfriend Keld were going to be coming. They were planning to make it a vacation to San Francisco, where he used to live. We would try to get together and meet one day before the ceremony. He also told me that he had gotten a friend request from someone named Richie on MySpace. Usually, he just approved the requests without looking, but he got a sense that he should check this one out. It turned out it was Kelz. At this point, Kelz was working as a veterinary assistant. He said she asked about me and he told her I was getting married. She seemed disappointed when he told her that.
Around this time, my fiancee started up a MySpace account and she decided to flirt with disaster. I asked her not to, but she sent a friend request to Kelz anyway. Kelz never responded or accepted the request. I was thankful for that.
In 2011, I noticed that Abed was friends with "Richie" on Facebook. When I visited him, I asked if he could show me her Facebook profile. He let me, but she didn't have any photos of herself. It appeared that she had gotten into dark graphic design and only posted her artwork. However, I could tell that she was using her face in some of the designs that featured women in provocative poses.
After that, I would do Google searches on Kelz and Sasd from time to time. In 2010, I found Sasd's birthday listed on a church program for a church in Garner, IA. On the church's website, I found several photos posted of their youth group. Among the children was one black girl. This was obviously Sasd. The website featured several photos that had her in them. It appeared that they enjoyed looking like a diverse congregation. However, I did not find any photos of Kelz.
In October of 2013, after I had started up this blog and the YouTube vlog to go along with it, "Richie" left a comment on my channel trailer. It read, "Very interesting stuff ____________________." She wrote my full real name! She even spelled my middle name correctly, which almost no one does! I freaked out! The first thing I did was delete her comment. I then entered a comment on my own, which read, "Someone had previously left a comment on this video that I had to delete. While I don't have a problem with comments, I would prefer they not contain identifying information." I intended for her to see that message. In the meantime, I noticed that she had apparently watched the channel trailer at least seven times. I told Ms. Ogolon that Kelz had written a comment on one of my videos, but I had deleted it. Other things were going on at the time, so she didn't get much of a chance to get into a huff about it.
Not long after that, she commented on another video in which I discussed a matter that involved me and my brother Loyd. She wrote, "No actually said This is ______ and this is _____... (our real names) Geeze if you are going to tell a story at least get the details right!!" I deleted that comment without an explanation.
Once, when I Googled Kelz, I came across a blog titled, "The Truth about Richie Rich." It was dated October 10, 2013. It started out saying that while everyone thought Richie was a nice person, she really wasn't and had a controversial past. It identified her real name and her real maiden name, so it was definitely about Kelz. It talked about how she had been arrested numerous times in San Diego and had gotten into trouble with the law before in Illinois and Iowa. It also said that she'd had most of her kids taken away from her. But I didn't know if that was referring to the crop of kids she had when she called me in 2003. This blog was obviously written by someone with an ax to grind. They posted it in the hopes that someone would Google her name and find the article. This was the only entry on the blog. About a year ago, I noticed that the post had been deleted. However, the blog itself still remains. (I've found out the hard way that you can't get rid of a blog once you've started it.) I can only imagine that the person who wrote the post had second thoughts and decided to remove the content after a few years.
Sometime after discovering that, I found a GoFundMe page for Kelz. This was probably what brought about that blog post. Apparently, she was suffering from breast cancer at the time and set up the account to raise money for her chemotherapy treatments. The effort only ever raised $10. I have not been able to find that posting since.
I don't know where Kelz is now. I don't know where Sasd is now. I found both their Twitter accounts, but they haven't been active on them in years. Kelz is still active on Facebook. I can't tell if she's still married. I found a relative's obituary from 2015 that listed her husband as a survivor and that she was his spouse. I did find out that her husband is a couple of years older than me, but that's all I really know. Her Facebook page does show how she looks now. She has a tendency to frequently change her hair color.
So, I don't know if I've heard the last of Kelz yet. To tell you the truth, I was half-way expecting her to show up and make comments on this blog to dispute my version of events, but that hasn't happened.
But I'm not closing the book on Kelz yet. Tomorrow, I'm going to have a very lengthy post about something that happened right before she left San Diego 20 years ago this month.
Get ready for some heavy reading.
UPDATE (07/13/18): I found a LinkedIn profile for Sasd. It features a photograph of her. She is wearing glasses. The weird thing is that she looks so much like Kelz when she was that age. She just has darker hair and complexion, but you can definitely tell she's related to Kelz, way more than in the church photos. The profile shows that she graduated from high school in 2015. About a year after graduating, she worked in fast food and retail. It shows that her most recent employment ended in November of 2017 and doesn't have an update. She also doesn't have any connections. I can only assume she set up the account in hopes of finding a job through LinkedIn. All I know is that I am not going to ask to connect with her.
Monday, October 23, 2017
It wasn't completely over
Even though she left California, Kelz was not totally out of my life, at least for the first six months. She called me when she and Sasd arrived in Iowa so I would know they were safe. I guess we agreed to keep in touch, but I knew I wasn't going to put much effort into that.
One thing I did was send her all the photos I had of her and Sasd. I also had a lot of the pictures that were originally taken at the hospital after Sasd was born. About a month after they left, I received a large envelope. Inside were two letters and a card with another letter inside. (I'm not going to share ALL the letters she wrote. Just a couple.)
From what I could figure out in the writing, the letter in the card was the first one she wrote. The card had a sexually suggestive bent to it and the letter expressed some regret about falling in love with me and provided her phone number and address. Then, it looks like she wrote this one:
As it turns out, she never did put Sasd up for adoption. And I don't think she got involved in the cult again.
The other letter in the packet expressed the same sentiments, except that she begged me to reveal my secret as to how I got over her so quickly. The truth was that I did not immediately get over her, but I was still in a lot of pain. One of the problems was that I was getting correspondence from the San Diego Police Department that apparently had me registered as a victim of domestic violence. I didn't like that designation, but it was one of the consequences I had to pay to get her permanently out of my life.
After Thanksgiving, I received two cards that had been mailed off the same day. One was a Christmas card. The other was a Thanksgiving card that included Sasd's first baby picture and a baby picture of the boy Kelz had before she met me. It also contained the postcard at the top of this article. Okay, that was CLEARLY intended to spook me a little. I don't care how smiley that face is, it's taunting me!
After New Year 1998, she sent two more cards. She included a photo of Sasd standing and another one of her and Sasd together. Kelz was sticking her tongue out with the piercing. The other card had unfocused photos of her without glasses, a nose piercing and her sticking her tongue out. It also had this "wedding invitation:"
It gave a date for a wedding between her and some guy that was set for February 15, 1998 at 2:30pm at a church in Garner, IA. And because she appeared to be getting married, she included this letter:
But of course, this was not the last I heard from her. She sent me a rather flirty Valentine's Day card. A couple of weeks later, she called me at work. My supervisor was surprised to hear her voice again. Kelz asked me to get Sasd some clothes for her birthday. She also told me that the wedding never happened and that she was still single. I went to K-Mart, found some stuff and sent it to her. I remember calling to make sure she got it. Kelz got very emotional on the phone. She said she couldn't believe that I could hate her so much, but still show love for Sasd. I told Kelz that I didn't hate her, but didn't offer any more than that.
Six months after she'd left San Diego, I finally stopped hearing from her on a regular basis. But she did find ways to communicate with me over the next few years.
I'll go into that tomorrow.
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